A/N: Hi, this is a songfic of A Daydream Away by All Time Low, if you have not heard it please go check it out! :D This is Jack/Alex slash, please if you don't like slash don't read. Buttt… please if you do read it leave me a comment telling me what you liked about it, if you didn't please tell me what I can work on Thanks so much! :D
I wish you could see your face right now
'Cause you're grinning like a fool,
He's so cute when he smiles; of course I would never really tell him that.
He doesn't know I think about it on a daily basis. Hell, he doesn't even know I think of him in the first place, it's so hard sometimes being his band mate, because we are constantly with each other, which makes me love him even more.
And we're sitting on your kitchen floor
On a Tuesday after noon,
We do this every time we can come back home.
We just sit on the floor and eat cereal and talk about the crazy fans, memories, life in general.
These are the times I will always remember, just being alone with you, not with Rian or Zack, not that I don't like having them around, it's just nice to settle down and let loose with you.
Doesn't matter when we get back
To doing what we do,
'cause right now could last forever
Just as long as I'm with you.
We didn't really talk about things we did on our free time when were back on tour, since there was more to talk about and so much sleep needed in between the trips to the next town. When we were on tour everything had to revolve around the music. Shows, photo shoots, interviews, music video shooting, just a whole crap load of things, that we eventually got used to.
You're just a daydream away,
I wouldn't know what to say if I had you.
I usually found myself thinking about the never-happening possibility of us being together, it made me so jealous when I would think about how so many others had a chance, and I had not even the slightest. If I had ever found out that you felt the same way I did…I would have be so lost for words…But I was just thinking crazy.
And I'll keep you a daydream away,
Just watch from a safe place,
So I never have to lose…
I was only able to dream about you, only see you in my head, day in, day out.
So I never had to worry about loosing you.
We would go out on go out on the weekends,
To escape our busy lives
And we'd laugh at all the douche-bag guys
Chasing down their desperate wives
I remember going out on the town with you exploring and seeing all the randomness and we would laugh at all of it. When I secretly wished we had more time than just the weekend.
I would drink a little too much,
And you would offer me a ride.
We would go out to the bar and drink, you would always warn me "Now Alex, you know what a lot of liquor does to you." I would just shrug it off. "Yeah, yeah I know." I would tell you. "I'm not going to give you a ride again," you would say to me shaking your head. "Sure, sure, I know you will." I would tell you, and every time you would.
I would offer you a t-shirt,
And you would stay another night.
I would go in my apartment straggling and stumbling; you being helpful would help me get to the door. I would offer you to take a shower after our long day out. "You…stink….you…. sho…should take…a shower…" I would say stuttering my words from the heavy liquor in my system.
You would come out with just a towel around your hips; intoxicated I would stumble over to you when you had you back to me and I would rip your towel off and giggle. You would turn around and look at me. I would look up and down your body, not fully aware of what I was doing, you would laugh and take your towel back and ask "You just can't resist my body, huh?" We'd both laugh; I would take it more serious than you would, but surely I wouldn't let it show. "Here's a…shirt, it's late…you should stay." I would say and you wouldn't resist.
You're just a daydream away,
I wouldn't know what to say if I didn't have you
And I'll keep you a daydream away,
Just watch from a safe place,
So I never have to lose…
Back again to my safe place, in my head, where you and I and be together.
I would never imagine loosing you, something like that would be unbearable.
We never stood a chance out there
Shooting love in real-time,
There were a lot of people who didn't accept the idea of homosexuality, including my parents, along with yours for that matter. So when you told me that you were gay it took me by surprise.
"Alex, I have something I need to tell you, and I don't really know how to deal with it." I remember you telling me as we sipped on our tequilas at the local pizza place. I looked up with a questioned look, "Well…what is Jack?" You took big gulp and said, "I think…I think I'm gay." I looked at you and asked with an emotionless face. "Uh…really?" "Yeah…is that awkward?" you asked me shamefully. "No..." "Really?" you asked. "Yeah….cause…I am too" you looked at me in shock. "For how long?" You asked me a little time after. "For as long as I can remember." I told you.
So we'll take it over ice tonight,
With a little salt,
And a little lime.
We both took a big drink, and stayed silent the whole night after that. You took me home, this time I didn't invite you to stay that night, I didn't want to make things anymore awkward than they already had been that night. I should have though, that is something I will always regret.
The next morning around 8 I went to go to watch the news I hardly ever watched the news but for some reason I did that morning. I ate my cereal on my couch as I watched intently. I still remember what happened like it was yesterday.
"Early this morning approximately 2:30 A.M. a Chrysler was in a head on collision"
I remember Jack leaving my apartment around 2:20, and how he drove a 2010 Chrysler. I shook my head in disbelief.
"It has been announced there was two deaths and 3 people in critical condition, Elisa Torres is at the scene now." The news anchor proclaims.
"Elisa Torres here at the tragic scene where a 2010 Chrysler and a 2007 Honda collided head on, it has been announced that former band member of All Time Low, Jack Barakat, died in the accident along with David Stevens and left Shelia Stevens and minor Elizabeth Stevens in critical condition.
"No….no…this can't be true!" I yelled at the TV like it could hear me. "Why? Why hasn't anyone called me? Why didn't I tell him to stay? It's all my fault" I eventually started to cry. I went and got my favorite picture of Jack and I on my night stand and got my guitar, a piece of paper and a pen. The only thing I could think of to make the pain to go away was to write a song about it.
You're just a daydream away,
I wouldn't know what to say if I had you
And I'll keep you a daydream away,
Just watch from a safe place,
So I never have to lose…
I sang with my guitar, as I let my tears fall because I knew I would never have you.
You're just a daydream away,
I wouldn't know what to say if I didn't have you.
A week later at the funeral I sang the song, people cried, and people smiled, but they never really knew the way I felt about you, and that was my chance to tell everyone, "I loved Jack Bassam Barakat, yes you may say we all did, but I…I loved Jack, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and even though he is gone now, I believe he will always be with me..."
