Third Wheel
by melusine

"Hey," Ull said, then paused. It'd been so easy to talk to Silmeria before she went to Midgard that last time. But now that she'd returned, well... well. He studied the tense line of her posture as she stood before the Water Mirror. "Hey, Silmeria," he began again. He felt Frei's elbow lightly connect with his ribs. He glared at the vana next to him. "Frei's been asking about you."

"Oh?" Silmeria said, but didn't turn around. "What about?"

"You know what." Frei put her hands on her hips. "Ull's worried, too."

"You don't seem yourself," Ull elaborated.

"Don't be ridiculous," the valkyrie said. "Fretting is Eir's job."

She was trying to distract them, or maybe just him. Ull frowned. "That won't work with me, you know."

"I know." Silmeria turned around. Ull stepped forward, but resisted the urge to take her hands in his own.

"She's cute." Ull indicated the young girl reflected in the mirror with a nod. He watched the reincarnated Alicia plait flowers into her hair. Her fingers were as slim and pale as Silmeria's had been before battle roughened them and Brahms taught her how to fight with her fists.

"Of course she's cute! She's Alicia!" Frei said, sounding exasperated. "Honestly, Ull! We're here for Silmeria!" she added in a too-loud whisper.

Ull winced. "I know that, Frei!" he whispered back. In truth, he wasn't sure what to say to her. The Silmeria that had returned was different than the one who had left; this Silmeria fought in the mead halls and watched the Water Mirror for hours. "Um, look, I'm here if you ever need to talk," he said to Silmeria, who had already turned back towards the mirror.

"So am I!" Frei chirped. "You really should do something! You're giving my sister Freya fits."

The valkyrie laughed, sharp and bitter. "I'll keep that in mind," she said.

----

Silmeria elbowed past Ull and made her way into the front room of his hall.

"After you," Ull sighed, then followed her to his room. She sat down at the edge of his bed and seemed to sag into place, her arms on her knees and her face in her hands. She took a deep breath, then another.

"Sorry," Silmeria finally said. "Can I come in?"

"Sure, why not?" Ull sat down next to her. "So, I heard you got in another fight."

She sat up and looked at her hands. Her knuckles were crusted with blood. "Yeah."

"Tyr said you fight like a savage now." Ull took one of her hands and gingerly touched a scab. "Is all of this yours?"

"Yeah." Silmeria withdrew her hand and closed it into a fist. A few of the wounds reopened. She touched her tongue to one of the open wounds, then clenched her other hand. "Tyr gossips like a milkmaid."

"He does, but what really sucks is that he's right," he said. "Gods aren't suppose to change, Silmeria."

"I was a valkyrie for a long time." Silmeria shrugged. "People change. Maybe I became more human."

"Maybe," Ull said. "Is that why you let Alicia beat me up?"

"I thought you were dead," Silmeria said, though Ull wasn't sure whether or not it was an answer to his question.

"You did, huh? Well, I was fine except for the bruised ego and broken bones," Ull replied. "It takes a lot to kill a god, you know."

"I know," Silmeria said. "But gods are not as powerful as you may think."

"Maybe I'm more powerful than you think," Ull retorted. "There's different kinds of power. It's not all about sharp teeth or claws or big muscles or anything like that! I survived. That's strength." He paused. "Silmeria, I'm sorry you lost him. But I still love you."

"I know," Silmeria said. "Gods don't change."

"But you did," he sighed. "You used to love me."

-- the end --