To Fade Away

By: Neko-chan



A/N: Anyway, this is my very first Phantom of the Opera fic. I know that it's not very good, but I do hope that whoever reads it also likes it. I love Phantom of the Opera--I've read all versions of the book and I've seen the musical twice. (I would have seen it more, but it rarely comes out to southern California. ;_;) And in every single Phantom of the Opera show, I always end up feeling sorry. For who? Well, this snippet fic (it's also POV--point of view) will let you guess at who I always end up feeling sorry for. ^_^

Disclaimer: I don't own Phantom of the Opera. Terribly imaginative people do. Sadly, I am not one of them. x.x;;



They say I disappeared. They say I died. And some say that I was never alive at all; I was only a ghost that haunted the stage for a short while. The truth is...

I don't really know myself.

All I know is that I was enchanted, bewitched. Not by magic, as you would normally deem to think. No. I was bewitched by the most innocent and beguiling of all God's creatures. A woman. She dazzled me. She inspired me. She brought hope to a normally dark and worthless existence. I fell in love with her.

I hoped that maybe, just maybe, she would be able to see beyond what others see. Maybe she could see the artist that I am. I know I'm not attractive. My physical appearance is nightmarish and deformed. But I love music and she seemed to embody it. She was so innocent, so fresh. So very, very naive.

I taught her all I know. I became her teacher, bringing her from shy chorus girl to the star of the stage. In her first performance, she sparkled. I was in awe. After all--I had done this for her. I had helped her to realize her dreams. Maybe...maybe she would see me for who I really was.

It was not meant to be.

Have you ever read the story of Romeo and Juliet? Their love was not meant to be, either. But at least they loved each other. She never loved me. She had pity for me, yes. She was in awe of my voice. But she never loved me.

For a very long time I hoped that she would change her mind. But she didn't. Instead, she fell in love with another. And how could I possibly compete with someone who was fully formed? He didn't have to hide behind a mask. How I envied him. In the end, I ended up hating him. But what else could I have done?

Thinking back upon it, I don't believe that he ever loved her. Lusted after her, yes. Was in awe of her voice and beauty. Who wouldn't be? He knew her from childhood, but she had changed greatly since then. How could he ever possibly understand _her_? And love _her_? There is a difference between love and wanting. He never realized that there actually _was_ a difference.

I've been under here for a very long time. I know that I've become one with the shadows. Has my story lived on? Or has it been kept away, a secret no one wants to share? I don't know what's happened in the Outer World. I don't really want to know.

Since that fateful night, I haven't really cared. Not anymore. Not ever again. To care is to get hurt. And I'm tired...so very tired...of getting hurt. I now realize that I will never be loved for myself. No one would be able to see past my exterior. The story of "Beauty and the Beast" is just that. A story. _How_ could it possibly be true?

And so I stay here. My song and my voice has been shut away. I'm tired of the outside world. No one could possibly ever understand me. I've shut _myself_ off; I'm becoming numb. What's it like to feel? It's been so long. I can't remember anymore... What's it like to sing, to know that people are hearing and they love your song? It's been so very, very long...

I feel myself start to fade away...