Author's Note: Yeah, if you have a problem with yaoi (gay pairings), you probably shouldn't read this ) Umm…I'll think of more warnings as I go. Woohoo!

NaruSasu…ummm…twisted humor.

Random Naruto Fluff

…because I needed a break from my more serious fic(s)…haha, HINT HINT.

"No, Naruto! You're supposed to use the Vaseline, not the Neosporin!" Sasuke shouted.

Sakura froze in her steps. She slowly turned her head to the door beside her. She was in the hospital, where both Sasuke and Naruto had just been admitted.

As far as she knew, they had been placed across the hospital from each other. In other words, the fact that they were in the same room was something that she was not expecting.

She reached for the door.

"OUCH! Naruto!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"Try again; this time, don't push so hard!"

Sakura's face turned at least four shades lighter. She felt woozy. Was she really hearing what she thought she was hearing?

"Okay, move it right there."

"But I don't think—"

"JUST DO IT!"

Her hand twitched. Did she really want to see what was happening on the other side of the door?

"Oh, right there…that's perfect...mmm…"

"Is that right?"

"Yeah…"

She couldn't stand it anymore; Sakura threw the door open and marched into the room. She snarled, "NA-RU-TO!"

And froze.

A tray was on Sasuke's lap, the covers of the bed pulled up under it, an orange cut up on it, Sasuke's eye red. His lips were chapped, and a tube of Neosporin and a tub of Vaseline sat beside his bed. Naruto was trying to cut up another orange.

"Sakura?" asked Naruto, blinking stupidly. "What's wrong?"

"I-I just heard you now! You were…but I swear you were…" she looked at Sasuke and said, "I heard you guys screaming."

"Yeah, because that dumbass cut the orange wrong and hit me in the eye with some of the juice," Sasuke grumbled, rubbing his eye.

Naruto glowered at him.

"W-what about the Neosporin and Vaseline?" she asked.

"My lips are chapped," he pointed, "and he tried to use Neosporin on them instead of Vaseline."

She just sweatdropped. "Ah…sorry, sorry…"

"Do you need anything else, Sakura?" asked Sasuke.

She shook her head. "No, no…just wanted to make sure you weren't hurt or anything."

"We're in a hospital," grumbled Naruto. "Why else would we be here?"

Sasuke punched him across the head. "Shut up."

"Owa! Sasuke!" he cried, rubbing his head. "That's it, no more oranges for you!" He deliberately swung around so his back was facing Sasuke and continued to peel the orange. (1)

Sasuke sniffed at the air and devoured what was left of the other orange. "Naruto…my orange."

"Hmm? What about it?"

"Don't eat it…"

Sakura rubbed the back of her head. Okay, so she was terribly mistaken…all it had been was Sasuke's insatiable orange-fetish, which tended to cause him chapped lips. (2)

"Well, if you don't need me anymore," she murmured.

Sasuke glanced at her. "You're still here?"

She glowered at him, and then left the room, closing the door all the way.

Naruto stood up and hobbled over to the door and slid it back, peaking outside. He turned to Sasuke, who had adjusted the covers of his bed. "She's gone."

"God, I thought she'd never leave," he muttered.

"Do you know hard it was to sit there like this?!" Naruto snapped, closing the door and locking it. "At least you were under the bed."

"Which wouldn't have kept her from seeing me," snarled Sasuke.

"You had the tray!" whined Naruto. "You were covered!"

"Just get your sexy, scrawny ass over here."

"Who's scrawny? I'm sure as hell not," he muttered, stripping as he approached the bed.

"Prove it."

END

Because I'm lame. And it's stupid.

Whatever.

Owa is what they say in Germany instead of ouch or owie. I think it's silly. I like it 9

I decided Sasuke needed a fetish. Oranges are good, and they remind him of Naruto's annoying clothes. Naruto dressed in orange orange fetish. W00t.