10 things Mr. Filch is not allowed to do at Hogwarts

Provided by yours truly, Professor McGonagall

You may not install a cat door in the front doors for Mrs. Norris, because the Weasley twins will just use it to sneak out.

You may not use chains as punishment, because it is inhumane.

You may not use chains as punishment, because the Weasley twins will find a way to strangle Mrs. Norris.

You may not complain about Peeves, because the Weasley twins will only convince him to drop dye on our heads. (Gee, thanks, Professor! We never thought of that—Gred and Forge)

You may not give your own detentions to the Weasley twins, because, quite frankly, you don't have a very good sense of justice.

You may not confiscate the Weasley twin's wands and try to use them. You may, however, confiscate them and give them to me.

You may not scare the first years—to badly. Unless you want to be cleaning up 'accidents'

Whips are not a modern form of punishment. You must get your head out of the dark ages. Even Dumbledore wasn't alive then!

You may not yell at the children. That is my job.

You may not try to banish Peeves from the castle. You are not the headmaster, and Professor Snape has no authority over Peeves.