Little Shop of Horrors
Screenplay by Ryan Huelsman
Based on the film directed by Roger Corman and the Broadway musical directed by Jerry Zaks
Original lyrics by Howard Ashman
Ext. Earth – Space.
We see our Earth hanging in the center of the screen. The sun is slowly rising up behind it. Stars twinkle in the distance. Earth (at this moment) looks so defenseless, so warm, and oh so prime for a disaster waiting to happen. We hear a voice.
Voice: (o.s.)
On the twenty-first day of the month of
September
in an early year of a decade not too long before our
own,
the human race suddenly encountered a deadly
threat to
its very existence.
And this terrifying enemy surfaced,
as
such enemies often do,
in the seemingly most innocent and
unlikely of places.
The LSOH theme begins playing as we rapidly zoom in on our humble planet. Before we know it, we are zooming through the streets of New York. We see the title logo as we fly through New York City…
Little Shop
-OF-
HORRORS
Ext. Building – Skid Row street – Day.
A few cars roll down the street. There are bums slowly walking up and down the sidewalks. Suddenly we see Chiffon, Crystal, Ronnette (the members of our Greek Chorus) walk down the street. The three girls are dressed in clothing that tells us that we are in the early 1980's.
Greek Chorus:
Little shop, little shoppa horrors.
Little
shop, little shoppa terror.
Call a cop. Little shoppa horrors.
No,
oh, oh, no-oh!
(beat)
Little shop, little shoppa horrors.
Bop sh'bop,
little shoppa terror.
Watch 'em drop! Little shoppa horrors.
No,
oh, oh, no-oh!
They continue walking down the street. A car drives past them and the girls watch it go by.
Greek Chorus:
Shing-a-ling, what a creepy thing
to be
happening!
Look out, look out, look out, look
out.
Shang-a-lang, feel the sturm
and drang in the air.
Sha-la-la,
Stop right where you are, don't you
move a thing.
(beat)
You better,
You better,
Tellin' you better
Tell your mama
Somethin's gonna get her.
She better,
Everybody better beware.
The girls look up and down the street. After a moment, they walk across the street, heading toward Mushnik's Florist Shop.
Greek Chorus:
Oo, here it comes, baby.
Tell the world, baby.
Oh, oh, no!
Oo, hit the dirt, baby.
Hit the dirt, baby.
Oh, oh, no!
Oh, oh, no!
Ext. Mushnik's Florist – Day.
The Greek Chorus walks up to a window that looks into Mushnik's shop. Inside, we see Mushnik (mid forties) sitting in a chair, reading a newspaper.
Greek Chorus:
Alley-oop,
Hurry off to school child, I'm
warnin' you.
Look out, look out, look out, look out!
Run
away!
Child you're gonna pay if you fail, yeah!
Yeah, yeah,
yeah.
Look around,
Somethin's comin' down, down the street
for you!
Int. Mushnik's Florist – Day.
The three girls are now inside the shop, standing a few feet from Mushnik. The headline of the newspaper reads "Unexplained Total Eclipse of the Sun frightens World Leaders," It is almost as if Mushnik doesn't even know the girls are there; he just keeps reading.
Greek Chorus:
You betcha,
You betcha,
You betcha butt,
you betcha.
Best believe it,
Somethin's come to get ya.
You
betcha,
You better watch your back in this town...
The three girls turn and walk toward an open door that leads to a set of stairs. The girls walk up the stairs.
Int. Stairwell – Day.
Chiffon, Crystal, and Ronnette walk up the stairs that leads to Seymour Krelborn's room.
Greek Chorus:
Woo!
Comma comma comma.
Little shop,
Little shoppa horrors.
Bop-sh'bop,
You'll never stop the
terror.
Little shop,
Little shoppa horrors.
No, oh, oh,
no, oh, oh, no, oh, oh, no!
The theme stops (and the girls disappear) as we see Seymour (late 20's) is bed . He has dirty blonde hair and even for someone like him, he is very well built, almost as if he works out during his free time. He has a TV in his room, which looks more like an attic than anything else. There is a small dresser next to his bed with a few exotic looking plants on it.
Mushnik: (o.s.)
Seymour, are you gonna bring down those pots or do I have to do it?
Seymour opens his eyes and quickly sits up in his bed.
Seymour:
Yes Mr. Mushnik. I'll bring down the supplies in a few minutes.
We don't hear anything from downstairs. Seymour stands up and grabs a small box full of pots and other supplies. Before going downstairs, Seymour looks out the window.
Through window: Another car moves down the street. A few more bums walk past the shop.
Seymour shakes his head and walks back toward his bed.
Ext. Mushnik's Florist – Day.
We see Audrey (mid to late 20's) walking down the street, toward the shop. She has curly blonde, an expensive (for this part of town) dress on. She looks up at the main window and notices that a few of the plants are dead. She sighs as she walks into the shop.
Int. Mushnik's Florist – Day.
Audrey walks through the door. Mushnik looks up and smirks.
Mushnik:
It's about time you show up. Audrey, where have you been?
Audrey:
I've…I've been out with Orin, again.
Mushnik rolls his eyes. He puts down the paper and walks over to Audrey and looks at her.
Mushnik:
Audrey, I know that I shouldn't be suggesting what you do with your personal life. But over the past few days I've been thinking that this greasy boyfriend of yours is betting up on you. Is he?
Audrey doesn't get a chance to answer. Seymour comes down the stairs, but he accidentally drops the box of pots. They fall and shatter when they hit the floor. Seymour looks at Audrey and smiles.
Seymour:
Hey Audrey.
Audrey smiles back. Mushnik shoots Seymour an evil glare.
Mushnik: (yelling)
Seymour, look what you have done to the inventory. You can't break everything we've got.
Seymour kneels down on the ground and starts picking up the pieces and places them in the box. Audrey looks at Seymour, then at Mushnik.
Audrey:
Mr. Mushnik, please don't yell at Seymour. It's not his fault that he dropped the pots.
Audrey kneels down next to Seymour and picks up a big piece of pottery. Seymour looks at her and smiles.
Seymour:
Good morning Audrey. You look beautiful today.
Audrey blushes.
Audrey:
Thank you Seymour. You look nice today as well.
Mushnik shakes his head and starts walking toward the window.
Mushnik:
I can't believe this. I've got lousy employees, bums on the sidewalk and business sucks worse than ever. My life is a living hell.
Mushnik looks out the window and notices that Chiffon, Crystal, and Ronnette are leaning up against the building. They are talking to each other. Mushnik shakes his head and walks outside.
Ext. Mushnik's Florist and Skid row street – Day.
Mushnik looks at Chiffon, Crystal, and Ronnette with anger in his eyes.
Mushnik:
Hey, you girls. No loitering here. Do it somewhere else.
Chiffon, Crystal, and Ronnette turn and look at Mushnik.
Ronnette:
Man, I wasn't loitering. Were you Crystal?
Crystal:
Not me Ronnette, were you Chiffon?
Chiffon shakes her head. The three girls start walking away from Mushnik.
Mushnik:
So, what do you girls do to better yourselves?
Chiffon, Crystal, and Ronnette stop walking and look at Mushnik, insulted by his comment.
Crystal:
Better ourselves? Did you here what he said "better ourselves." Mister, when you are born here and you live on Skid Row your whole life, there ain't no such thing.
The girls continue walking away. Mushnik walks back into the shop. After a moment we see an older looking woman walking down the street. She looks depressed and tired.
Older Woman:
Alarm goes off at seven
and you start up-town.
You put in your eight hours
for the powers
that have
always been.
'Til it's five-pm...
Now we see the girls dressed in fancy white dresses, watching the woman walk past them.
Old bum on street:
Then you go…
The Greek Chorus catches up with the older woman.
Greek Chorus and Older Woman:
Downtown
Where the folks are broke. You go
Downtown
Where your life's a joke. You go
Downtown
Where
you buy a token. You go...
Home to Skid Row.
The older woman walks up to a door in an old building that is almost on the verge of falling down.
Old bum on street:
Yes you go…
We see a man standing on a curb. A taxi rolls past his and he watches it go by.
Man on curb:
Downtown
Where the cabs don't stop.
Another man pokes his head out of a window and throws out a plate of disgusting food onto the street.
Man with nasty food:
Downtown
Where the food is slop.
Greek Chorus and everyone on the street:
Downtown
Where the hot-heads flop in the
snow...
Down on Skid Row.
Ext. Busy Street – Day.
Now we see the Greek Chorus standing on a street that is crowded with dozens of people walking by.
Greek Chorus:
Uptown you cater to a million jerks.
Uptown
you're messengers and mailroom clerks.
Eating all your lunches at
the hot-dog carts.
The bosses take your money, then they break
your hearts.
(beat)
And Uptown you cater to a million whores.
You
disinfect terrazzo on their bathroom floors.
The jobs are really
menial you make no bread.
And then at five-o'clock you head
Business man walking by:
By subway…
Ext. Mushnik's Florist – Back alley – Day.
We see Audrey walk out the back door of the florist shop, which leads into a rather big alleyway. She has a few pieces of broken pottery in her hands and she walks over to a trash can and throws them in there.
Audrey:
Downtown
Where the guys are drips.
Downtown
Where they rip your slips.
Downtown
Where relationships
are no go.
Down on Skid Row.
Int. Mushnik's Florist – Day.
Seymour is holding the box in his hands. He looks out the front window with frustration.
Seymour:
Poor, all my life I've always been poor.
I
keep askin' God what I'm for.
And he tells me, "Gee, I'm not
sure."
"Sweep that floor, kid!"
Seymour puts down the box on a desk and walks outside.
Ext. Mushnik's Florist – Day.
Seymour walks out of the shop and looks around at everyone on the street.
Seymour:
Oh! I started life as an orphan,
A child of
the street, here on Skid
Row! He took me in gave me shelter
A
bed, crust of bread and a job.
Treats me like dirt and calls me a
slob,
(he looks at a pile of mud next to his feet)
Which I am...
So I live
Seymour walks across the street toward a church with a door that is broken off.
Seymour:
Downtown
That's your home address, you live
Downtown
When your life's a mess, you live
Downtown
Where depression's just status quo.
Down on Skid Row.
Seymour walks into the church.
Int. Church – Day.
Seymour walks down the middle isle. There are many homeless men and women sleeping on the benches in here. Seymour looks up at a glass portrait of Jesus Christ.
Seymour:
Someone show me a way to get outta here.
'Cause
I constantly pray I'll get outta here.
Please won't somebody say
I'll get outta here.
Someone gimmie my shot, or I'll rot here!
Suddenly, all of the men and women sit up and look at Seymour. He slowly starts walking toward the front door.
Men and Women:
Downtown
Seymour:
Show me how and I will, I'll get
outta here.
Men and Women:
There's no rules for us
Downtown
Seymour:
I'll start climbin' up hill and get
outta here.
Men and Women:
'Cause it's dangerous
Downtown
Seymour:
Someone tell me I still could get
outta here.
Someone tell lady luck that I'm stuck here!
Seymour turns and runs out of the church.
Ext. Mushnik's Florist – Day.
Seymour walks toward the shop. Audrey slowly comes out of the alley way.
Seymour and Audrey:
Gee it sure would be swell to get outta here.
Bid
the gutter farewell and get outta here.
I'd move heaven and hell
to get outta Skid.
I'd do I don't know what to get outta Skid.
Seymour reaches the front door and Audrey is a few feet behind him. A lot of people are also crowded around the shop, looking up into the sky, almost as if they are looking for hope.
Everyone on Skid Row:
But a hell of a lot to get outta Skid.
People
tell me there's not a way outta Skid.
But believe me I gotta get
outta Skid
Row!
Cut to…
Int. Mushnik's Florist Shop – Dusk. Later that day.
Outside, the sun is starting to set. Mushnik is staring up at the clock; Audrey is leaning up against the door that leads to Seymour's room, cleaning her nails and Seymour is…asleep, with his face down on the counter next to the cashier.
Mushnik looks at Seymour. Seymour snores once, but then goes quiet again. Mushnik then looks over at Audrey. She looks like she is about to fall asleep as well. Mushnik looks up at the clock.
Mushnik:
Six o'clock, and we haven't even sold a single blade of grass.
No one listens to him. Mushnik slams his hand on the wall. Audrey looks over at Mushnik and Seymour sits up at looks at his boss with his eyes half closed.
Mushnik:
Seymour…Audrey, don't even think about working tomorrow. I'm closing this shop once and for all within' the next few days.
Audrey walks over to Mushnik.
Audrey:
But, Mr. Mushnik you can't do this. This is the only job I got and I actually like coming here.
She looks over at Seymour, who is looking up at the clock.
Mushnik:
Audrey, you have been like a daughter to me. But don't come in tomorrow. This joint is done.
Seymour stands up and walks over to Mushnik. He looks at Seymour as he approaches.
Seymour:
Mr. Mushnik, I think I've got something that may change your mind.
Mushnik raises his eyebrow at Seymour. He turns and runs upstairs. Audrey smiles and looks at Mushnik.
Audrey:
Mr. Mushnik, you know how Seymour collects those unusual plants on the weekends. Well, I've seen some of those plants that Seymour has and I think that if we place one of them on the windowsill and advertise it, it will attract business.
Audrey smiles. Mushnik just stares at her.
Mushnik:
Audrey, are you two okay?
Suddenly Seymour appears next to Audrey and Mushnik. He is holding a small plant that is a small pot. It looks like a green egg (the shape of the main pod) and there are leaves surrounding it. There are also a few small vines sticking out of the soil. Mushnik and Audrey look at the plant.
Mushnik:
What the hell is that?
Seymour:
It hasn't been feeling all that good recently. I think it is some kind of fly-trap, but I haven't been able to identify it in any of my exotic plant books. But I have given it my own name though.
He looks at Audrey, who is staring at the plant. Mushnik looks up at Seymour.
Mushnik:
So, what is it?
Seymour:
…um…Audrey 2.
Audrey looks at Seymour with a big smile on her face. Seymour smiles back.
Audrey:
After me?
Seymour:
I hope you don't mind.
Audrey:
It's an honor.
Mushnik rolls his eyes as Seymour flirts with Audrey.
Seymour:
Mr. Mushnik I think that if you place a plant like this in the window, then…
Seymour walks over to the window and places the little Audrey 2 on the window display. Mushnik and Audrey walk over to Seymour.
Mushnik:
Seymour, I don't want to destroy your hopes and dreams, but just because you put a strange plant in the window, that doesn't mean that someone is gonna come in here and ask about it…
At that moment, a man in a business suit walks in and looks at Audrey 2.
Business Man:
Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice that strange and interesting plant in the window. What is it?
Audrey:
Its an Audrey 2.
Business Man:
I've never seen anything like it before.
Seymour:
No one has.
Business Man:
Where did you get it?
Seymour walks over and picks up Audrey 2.
Seymour:
Well, do you remember that total eclipse of the sun about a week ago?
Cut to…
Ext. Flower shops – Day. Flashback.
We are now on a street that is covered in flower shops. Seymour walks down the sidewalk, looking at all of the shops window displays. The Greek Chorus girls are walking behind him, dressed in Chinese clothing.
Seymour's voice:
I was walking in the Wholesale Flower District
that day.
And I passed by this place where this old chinese
man...
Seymour stops when he reaches a chinese florist shop. He talks to the owner, who is in fact old.
Seymour's voice:
He sometimes sells me weird and exotic cuttings.
'Cause he knows, you see that, well, strange plants are my hobby.
Seymour looks at the plant that are outside. After a moment of looking, he shakes his head and looks at the old man.
Seymour's voice:
He didn't have anything unusual there that day.
So I was just about to, you know, walk on by.
When suddenly,
and without warning,
There was this...
Seymour and the old man look up into the sky.
Up in the sky: The moon suddenly passes in front of the Sun, causing a huge shadow to fall upon Skid Row and all of New York. It is beautiful, yet frightening.
Greek Chorus and Seymour:
Total eclipse of the Sun!
As both men look at the total eclipse, a silent, greenish colored bolt of lightening strikes the table with the flowers outside of the shop.
Seymour's voice:
It got very dark...
And there was this strange
humming sound,
Like something from another world...
Suddenly, the sun comes out from behind the moon. Seymour looks at the table and sees a cute, adorable little Audrey 2 sitting there.
Seymour's voice:
And when the light came back this weird plant was
just sitting there.
Just, you know, stuck in, uh-among the
zinnias.
Greek Chorus:
Audrey 2…
Seymour's Voice:
I coulda sworn it hadn't
been there before.
But the old chinese man sold it to me anyways.
For a dollar-ninety-five.
Seymour walks away from the shop, holding Audrey 2 in his hands, smiling.
Cut to…
Int. Mushnik Florist – Dusk. Present day.
Seymour is still holding the plant in his hands. Mushnik looks at Seymour in confusion. The Business Man smiles.
Business Man:
Well, that is an unusual story, but one fascinating plant. You know, while I'm here, I'll take 100 dollars worth of roses.
Mushnik, Audrey and Seymour stare at the Business Man. His smile quickly fades.
Business Man:
What?
Mushnik:
That is the most we've gotten in months. Audrey, get the roses and wrap them. Seymour, put down that amazing plant and take this man's money.
Seymour puts Audrey 2 down on the window display. Audrey walks over to the rose cabinet and grabs 2 handfuls of roses. She puts them down on the counter and carefully wraps them. The Business Man takes out his wallet and hands Seymour two fifty dollar bills. Seymour walks over to the register and puts the money in it. Audrey walks over to the Business Man and hands him the roses.
Business Man:
Thank you. I'm gonna tell the guys at the office about this plant, the…
Seymour:
Audrey 2.
The Business Man smiles and walks out of the shop. Mushnik smiles and looks at Audrey and Seymour.
Mushnik:
Children, this is the biggest thing to ever happen to this small little shop. Seymour, it is a miracle that your Audrey 2 even exists. I'm taking you all out to dinner tonight at Tony's Pizzeria.
Seymour smiles, but Audrey walks toward the front door.
Audrey:
I'm sorry Mr. Mushnik, but I've got a date with Orin tonight.
Mushnik:
Audrey, I don't want him to harm you anymore…
Audrey:
Mr. Mushnik, I'll be fine, really. Goodnight Seymour.
Audrey walks out the front door.
Seymour:
Goodnight Audrey. Mr. Mushnik, are we still going out?
Mushnik is looking at Audrey 2. The plant suddenly looks deathly ill in its small pot.
Mushnik:
Seymour, you ain't going anywhere.
He walks over to the coat rack, puts on his coat and walks over to the front door.
Mushnik:
You're staying right here and taking care of that sick plant.
Mushnik walks out of the shop. After a moment, Seymour sighs and looks at Audrey 2.
Int. Seymour's room – Mushnik's Florist – Night.
Seymour walks up the steps to his room, holding Audrey 2. He looks out of the window that looks out onto Skid Row. After a moment of staring at the same old boring Skid Row, Seymour places Audrey 2 on the small table next to his bed.
Seymour:
What's the matter little plant? Are you really sick, or are you just playing stubborn? Mr. Mushnik and Audrey were really impressed with you today, please don't get ill now.
Seymour picks up a water bottle and sprinkles a little water on Audrey 2.
Seymour:
I've given you sunshine.
I've given you dirt.
You've given me nothin'
But heartache and hurt!
I'm
beggin' you sweetly.
I'm down on my knees.
Oh please,
Grow
for me?
Seymour walks over to the window again.
Seymour:
I've given you plant food
And water to sip.
I've given you pot-ash.
You given me zip!
Oh God, how I
mist you.
Oh Pod, how you tease.
Now please,
Grow for me?
Seymour puts the water bottle down on the dresser. He picks up a dozen old, dead roses that are wrapped up. He walks over to the trash can, which is right next to the table with Audrey 2 on it.
Seymour:
I've given you Southern Exposure
To get you to
thrive.
I've pinched you back hard, like I'm supposed to
You're
barely alive.
I've tried you at levels of moisture
From
desert to mud!
I've given you grow lights and mineral
supplements.
What do you want from me? Blood?
Seymour takes out one rose, but he gasps. He drops the dozen roses on the ground and we see that he has cut himself. Blood is slowly coming out of the little wound.
Seymour:
Damn roses!
(he looks down at the roses)
Damn thorns!
He puts his finger in his mouth and begins to suck on it for a moment. When he brings it out, we hear a smaller, quieter sucking sound. Seymour looks all over his room. But slowly he looks at Audrey 2. The plant is looking at Seymour (even though it doesn't have any eyes) and it is smacking its little lips together. (this is the pod I'm talking about)
Seymour stares at Audrey 2 in shock. The plant continues to make the sucking sound. Seymour sticks his finger at the plant and it opens up its little pod as much as it can.
Seymour pulls his finger back and Audrey 2 squeals for a moment, but continues making the sucking sound.
Seymour:
I've given you sunlight.
I've given you rain.
Looks like you're not happy
'less I open a vain!
Seymour sticks his finger above Audrey 2 and squeezes it, so that several drops of blood fall into the plants open pod.
Seymour:
I'll give you a few drops,
If that'll appease.
After a few drops of blood fall into Audrey 2's mouth, Seymour pulls his hand back and starts walking toward the stairs.
Seymour:
Now Please...
Oh, Oh, Oh, Please...
Grow
for Me...
Seymour disappears down the steps and goes into the main shop. However, we see that Audrey 2 is already starting to grow. The little pot is starting to have cracks run down the side. The plant is growing bigger, and bigger until it is at least two times its original size.
Ext. Courtyard – Day.
We are now in some kind of nice looking courtyard that isn't on Skid Row. We see Mushnik sitting on a bench with a small hand held TV in his hands. The Greek Chorus is standing behind him.
On TV: Seymour is sitting in a chair, holding Audrey 2 in his hands. A man, who looks like he is a TV reporter.
TV reporter:
… and Mr. Krelborn, this concludes our first interview together with this strange new plant of yours, the Audrey 2.
Seymour:
And I would like to say that this plant, the Audrey 2, is on view exclusively at Mushnik's Skid Row Florist shop.
TV reporter:
Seymour, before we leave, I have one final question. What do you feed Audrey 2?
Seymour: (nervous)
Well…um…it's a secret, but it is very easy to come by. Its all over the place.
Back to Mushnik and Greek Chorus…
Mushnik looks at the TV in frustration.
Mushnik:
Seymour, the address. Tell them the address.
But the interview is done. Mushnik looks up at the Greek Chorus.
Ronnette:
When the interview first aired a few hours ago, I couldn't believe that this plant would get so famous.
Mushnik smiles.
Mushnik:
I can't believe it!
It couldn't be happening!
Pinch me girls!
It couldn't be happening!
All of a sudden
success coming out of the blue!
(beat)
I put a sign up
Right in the front window
An advertisement
Right in the
front window
Stop in and see the amazing new plant "Audrey
2"
Mushnik stands up and puts the TV down on the bench.
Mushnik:
And the really remarkable thing is that people
they do
(beat)
Seymour, that twerp of a clutz,
Finally
did something right
Audrey 2 drives them nuts
What a blessing
this wonderful plant should exist
And should rake in the bucks
for me hand over fist!
Seymour suddenly appears next to Mushnik. Audrey 2 a little bit bigger than a football, and that is just the main pod. Seymour has to use both of his hands to carry it. The plant also looks much, much healthier than before.
Seymour:
Well, how do you think I did?
Mushnik:
You didn't mention the address. How many times have I told Seymour, you must mention the address when you do an interview.
Seymour:
I'm sorry Mr. Mushnik, I forgot to. Say, where is Audrey at?
Mushnik:
Never mind her Seymour. Now come on, I've got several more TV interviews lined up for you and the New York Times wants a picture of you and the plant.
Seymour: (smiling)
If I had a mother, she would be so happy for me.
Ronnette:
Seymour, you're an overnight sensation. Who'da thunk it?
She smiles at Seymour.
Ronnette:
One day he pushed a broom
Nothing in his news
but gloom and doom
Then he lit a fuse and give him room
Stand
aside watch that mothah blow
Explosion! Bang! Kerboom!
Don't
it go to show ya never know?
(beat)
Seymour was in a
funk
He was number zero
Who'da thunk he'd become a hero?
Just a punk, he was a forgotten so-and-so
Then one day-Crash!
Kerplunk!
Don't it go to show ya never know?
Crystal walks over to Seymour.
Crystal:
Sit down Seymour, Chiffon is gonna sing for you.
Seymour sits down on the bench, with Audrey 2 still in his hands.
Chiffon:
All the world used to screw him
Biff-wham-pow!
Now they interview him
And they clamor to put his remarks
On
the air
All the world used to hate him
Now they're startin'
t'appreciate him
All because of that strange little plant
Over
there
Greek Chorus:
Observe him! Here's a chap
Everything is
landing in his lap
Zam! Kazap!
Don't it go to show ya never
know?
(beat)
One day you're slinging hash
Feeling so
rejected
Lightning flash, you get resurrected
Make a
splash-now you rate the big
Bravissimo
And with a thunder
clash-
Crash kerplunk, bam kerboom,
Zang kazunk, zam kazoom
Zowee powee holy cow he
Ordered up a rainbow to go
Wow!
Pow! Lookout below!
Don't it go to show ya never know?
Seymour smiles as he stands up. Mushnik looks at him.
Mushnik:
Come on Seymour, we have to get back to the shop and put Audrey 2 back in the display.
Seymour and Mushnik walk out of the courtyard. The girls stay there. After a moment Audrey runs into the courtyard. She looks a little bruised up, but she has tried to cover it up with makeup. The Greek Chorus turns to look at her.
Audrey:
Did I miss Seymour?
Chiffon:
Sweetheart, they just left. (after a moment) Why do you look beaten up?
Audrey:
Well, I just had a date with…
Ronnette:
That dirty, no good boyfriend of yours?
Audrey walks over to the bench and sits down. The girls stand behind her.
Audrey:
Well, he is a little hostile, but he has reasons to be.
Crystal:
Girl, if I were you, I would oh so dump him and start going out with Seymour.
Audrey looks up at the Greek Chorus.
Audrey:
Well, you know, I can't leave Orin. If he does this to me when he loves me, think of what he would do if I left him.
Ronnette:
Girl, you have issues to deal with.
Audrey: (deep in thought)
I know Seymour's the greatest,
But I'm dating
a semi-sadist.
So I got a black eye,
and my arm's in a cast.
(beat)
Still that Seymour's a cutie.
And I know he's got inner beauty.
And I dream
of a place,
Where we can be together, at last.
Chiffon:
And what kind of place is this, an emergency room?
Audrey:
No, no. In my dreams, I see us living in a quiet little town, with a picket fence and beautiful grass all over the lawn. All of the houses are so neat and pretty, and they all look just alike.
Audrey smiles at the thought.
Audrey:
A matchbox of our own.
A fence of real chain
link.
A grill out on the patio.
Disposal in the sink.
A
washer and a dryer,
And an ironing-machine.
In a tract house
that we share,
Somewhere that's green.
(beat)
He rakes and trims the grass.
He loves to mow
and weed.
I cook like Betty Crocker,
And I look like Donna
Reed.
There's plastic on the furniture
To keep it neat and
clean.
In the Pine-Sol scented air,
Somewhere that's green.
(beat)
Between our frozen dinner,
and our bed-time
ten-fifteen.
We snuggle watching Lucy,
On a big, enormous,
fifteen-inch screen.
(beat)
Oh, I'm his December bride,
He's father, he
knows best.
The kids play Howdy-Doody,
As the Sun sets in the
West.
A picture out of Better Homes
And Gardens magazine.
Far from Skid Row,
I dream we'll go...
Somewhere that's
Green.
The girls smile at the idealistic life Audrey dreams. Slowly, Audrey gets up and looks at the three girls.
Crystal:
Girl, that is what you should head for. Don't stay here in Skid Row with your hostile boyfriend, go and get away from here with Seymour.
Audrey smiles.
Audrey:
I have to go back home.
She walks out of the court yard. The three girls look at each other and smile.
Int. Mushnik's Florist – Seymour's room – Dusk.
Seymour sits on his bed, looking at Audrey 2, who is also looking at him. The plant slowly opens its main pod and squeals for more blood. Seymour sighs.
Seymour:
Audrey 2, I don't know if I can continue to feed you every day. But I have enough for one more night.
Seymour stands up and places his figure that has a huge cut in it into Audrey 2's mouth. The plant starts sucking on Seymour finger as he slowly closes his eyes.
Ext. Mushnik's Florist – Day.
We see a huge crowd of people outside the shop. They all seem to be trying to get in while others are trying to get out. In the window there is a sign that reads "Come and see the amazing new plant "Audrey 2," just like on TV!"
Int. Mushnik's Florist – Day.
There at least a dozen or so people in here. The whole shop looks nicer (they did some renovations) and brighter than earlier in the film. In one corner of the shop, we see the new Audrey 2. It is about 5 feet tall now and there are a few vines running up the wall in the corner. People are crowded around it, talking about it, amazed that such a thing is alive on earth.
Mushnik comes out of the back room and looks at Audrey, who is at the cash register. She finishes selling a man some roses.
Mushnik:
Audrey, did you send out the order to the Shivas?
Audrey:
Yes Mr. Mushnik, did it this morning.
Mushnik nods his head and walks toward the plant.
Int. Mushnik's Florist – Back room – Day.
Seymour sits at a table, fixing up a beautiful bouquet of flowers. He grabs a squirt bottle and mists the plant for a few seconds. After a moment, he puts the bottle down and stands up. Mushnik appears in the doorway.
Mushnik:
Seymour, I just to tell you that I've booked you and Audrey 2 for a TV appearance in a week.
Seymour looks at Mushnik.
Mushnik:
Are those the flowers for the Shivas?
Seymour:
Yeah, why?
Mushnik shakes his head as he walks out of the room. Seymour stands up and grabs the big bouquet of flowers. He starts walking toward the door when it opens and Audrey walks in.
Audrey:
Oh, hey Seymour.
Seymour puts the flowers down.
Seymour:
Hey Audrey. I'm sorry for telling Mushnik that you haven't delivered the flowers to the Shivas.
Audrey:
Its okay. I don't really mind. It has been stressful over the past few days with all of this work. Anyway, I'll deliver the flowers tonight after my date with Orin.
Mushnik: (o.s.)
Again this date.
Mushnik stands in the doorway. Seymour gets up and takes the flowers out into the main shop. Mushnik waits until Seymour leaves.
Mushnik:
I'm getting worried about you with all of these dates. I mean, what does he do all day?
Audrey:
He's a professional.
Mushnik:
What kind of professional drives a motorcycle and wears a black leather jacket?
Ext. Highway – Day.
We are now on highway crowded with cars. We see a motorcycle moving past all of the cars. On the motorcycle we see Orin Scrivello (mid 30's), Audrey's sadistic and hostile boyfriend. He is riding the motorcycle like he's been doing it his whole life. He laughs as he passes the other cars.
Orin:
When I was young and just a bad little kid,
My
momma noticed funny things I did.
Like shootin' puppies with a
BB-Gun.
I'd poison guppies, and when I was done,
I'd find a
pussy-cat and bash in it's head.
That's when my momma said...
Ext. Building – Downtown New York – Day.
Orin arrives in front of a building. The motorcycle comes to a screeching halt. The Greek Chorus is standing outside the building. Orin gets off the motorcycle.
Greek Chorus:
What did she say?
Orin:
She said my boy I think someday
You'll find a
way
To make your natural tendencies pay...
Orin walks into the building.
Int. Building – Dentist office – Day.
We are now in a dentist office waiting room. There are several people sitting in the chairs, looking nervous and frightened.
Orin:
You'll be a dentist.
You have a talent for
causing things pain!
Son, be a dentist.
People will pay you
to be inhumane!
(beat)
You're temperament's wrong for
the priesthood,
And teaching would suit you still less.
Son,
be a dentist.
You'll be a success.
Int. Dentist room – Day.
Orin walks into a room that has a young man sitting in a dentist chair, prepared to be tortured by Orin. The Greek Chorus is also in here.
Greek Chorus:
"Here he is folks, the leader of the plaque."
"Watch him suck up that gas. Oh My God!"
"He's
a dentist and he'll never ever be any good."
"Who wants
their teeth done by the Marqui DeSade?"
Orin grabs a small gas mask that is attached to the chair. He breathes in whatever gas is in the mask and when he pulls the mask off, he begins laughing uncontrollably. He grabs a syringe off a table and sticks it into the young man's mouth.
Young Man:
Oh, that hurts! Wait! I'm not numb!
Orin has a drill in his hand and slowly moves it toward the young man's mouth.
Orin:
Eh, Shut Up! Open Wide! Here I Come!
Orin sticks the drill into the man's mouth and he screams in pain.
Orin and Greek Chorus:
I am your dentist.
And I enjoy the career that
I picked.
I'm your dentist.
And I get off on the pain I
inflict!
Orin leaves the drill in the man's mouth and he leaves the room.
Int. Dentist office – Hallway – Day.
Orin walks down the hallway. There are small drops of blood all over the walls and floor.
Orin:
I thrill when I drill a bicuspid.
It's swell,
though then tell me I'm mal-adjusted.
Orin enters another room.
Int. Dentist office – dentist room – Day.
There is another man sitting in the chair in the middle of the room. He is sweating constantly and is on the verge of pissing himself. Orin looks at the man with an evil grin.
Orin:
And though it may cause my patients distress.
Somewhere...Somewhere in heaven above me...
I know...I know
that my momma's proud of me.
"Oh, Momma..."
(beat)
'Cause I'm a dentist...
And a success!
Orin grabs a small hose that is used to clean out patients' mouths with water.
Orin:
"Say ahh..."
"Say AHhhh..."
"Say AAARRRHHHH!!!"
"Now Spit!"
Int. Mushnik's Florist – Night.
Seymour is sitting in a chair, reading a magazine. The cover reads "New Species of Flytrap baffles Botanists," Seymour smiles as he reads the article. He looks up and at Audrey 2.
The plant looks at little sicker than normal. One of the vines that has crawled up the wall falls onto the floor. Suddenly, we hear a sound, like the sound of a motorcycle. Seymour puts the magazine down on the chair and gets. He walks over to the front door. He opens it.
Orin stands in the doorway, looking at Seymour with a nasty look.
Seymour:
I'm sorry sir, we're closed tonight.
Orin:
Oh relax. You want some nitrous oxide?
Seymour shakes his head no. Orin reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a small canister of nitrous oxide. He holds it up to his nose and breathes in the gas. Orin laughs as he puts the canister back in his pocket.
Seymour:
I'm sorry, sir. But we're closed.
Orin:
Well ain't that a bitch.
Orin places a hand on Seymour's shoulder. Suddenly Audrey appears behind him, dressed up very, very nice.
Audrey:
Seymour it's alright. This is my boyfriend Orin Scrivello.
Orin lets go of Seymour shoots Audrey a nasty look over his shoulder.
Audrey:
…oh, D.D.S.
Orin walks past Seymour into the shop, followed by Audrey. Orin looks around the shop. Seymour turns and looks at Orin, who is looking at Audrey 2.
Orin:
Damn, ain't that the biggest eggplant you've seen. Sweetheart, what's it called?
Audrey:
It's called Audrey 2.
Orin looks at her.
Orin:
Who would name it after a slut?
Audrey and Seymour look at one another. Orin chuckles at his comment.
Audrey:
I did. I couldn't think of any name when Seymour asked me to think of one. And I think that it is a pretty name.
Orin:
Come on. It sucks worse than your attempt to keep me happy.
Seymour shoots Orin a pissed off look, but he doesn't notices. Orin walks over to Seymour.
Orin:
Hey Seymour, do you own this thing?
Seymour:
Yes.
Orin:
Why are keeping this plant here in this shit hole Skid Row. You can easily take it to anyplace in New York and name your price. Leave Skid Row behind and take this "Audrey 2" anywhere.
Orin looks at Audrey.
Orin:
You ready baby?
Audrey:
Yes Orin. See you later Seymour.
Orin and Audrey walk out of the shop. Orin turns around and looks at Seymour.
Orin:
You need any fixing in the mouth area, come to me. It'll be on the house.
Orin turns around and closes the door. After a moment we hear the motorcycle turn on and drive down the street, away from the shop. Seymour turns and slowly walks toward Audrey 2. He places his hand (which has Band-Aids on all of the fingers) on Audrey 2's pod.
Seymour:
Ah Audrey 2. It's been a rough day for both of us. I'm really worried about Audrey. I wish that I good just…kill that horrible man she calls her boyfriend. She deserves better than him. I'm gonna turn in for the night.
Seymour turns and walks to the door that leads up to his room. As he reaches for the doorknob, we hear a loud thud. Seymour turns around.
Audrey 2 has fallen onto the floor. Seymour sighs as he walks over to the plant.
Seymour:
Come on. I need some blood for myself, you can't have it all. Just let me rest for a few days then we can start again…
Audrey 2: (weakened)
Feed me.
A long, long moment passes as Seymour stares at Audrey 2. Seymour stands up after a moment.
Seymour:
What did you say?
Audrey 2:
Feed me.
Another moment passes.
Seymour:
Say it again.
Audrey 2 raises his (yes, it's a boy plant) main pod and looks at Seymour. Seymour takes a big step back.
Audrey 2:
Feed me Krelborn. Feed me now.
Seymour:
I can't. I feel weak as it is.
Audrey 2:
How do you think I feel?
Seymour rushes over to Audrey 2 and takes off one of the band-aides. He sticks the finger in Audrey 2's mouth.
Seymour:
Maybe I can squeeze a little bit out of this one.
Audrey 2 begins sucking on Seymour's finger. After a moment Seymour takes his hand out of Audrey 2's mouth.
Audrey 2:
More, more, more.
Seymour:
There isn't anymore. What do you want me to do, slit my wrists?
Audrey 2:
Now that is what I'm talking about.
Seymour backs up.
Seymour:
Okay, calm down.
Audrey 2:
I'm starving.
Seymour:
Does it have to be mine?
Audrey 2:
Feed me.
Seymour:
Where? Where can I get it?
Audrey 2:
Feed me! Feed me! Feed me!
Feed me, Seymour
Feed me all night long
That's right, boy
You can do
it
Feed me, Seymour
Feed me all night long
'Cause if you
feed me, Seymour
I can grow up big and strong
Seymour:
You eat blood Audrey 2. How am I supposed to keep on feeding you, kill people?
Audrey 2 smile.
Audrey 2:
I can make it worth your wild.
Seymour:
What are you talking about?
Audrey 2:
Do you really think this is all a coincidence baby? The sudden success around here…Mushnik actually respecting you.
Seymour:
You're a plant, an inanimate object.
Audrey 2 shoots a vine at Seymour. It wraps around Seymour's mid-section and pulls him closer to Audrey 2.
Audrey 2: (yelling)
Does this look inanimate to you punk? If I can talk, and I can move, who can say I can't do anything I want?
Audrey 2 lets go of Seymour.
Seymour:
Like what?
Audrey 2:
Like deliver pal. Like see you get everything your greasy little heart desires.
Seymour backs up, afraid of what he will hear come out of his talking plant.
Audrey 2:
Would you like a Cadillac car?
Or a guest shot
on Jack Par?
How about a date with Heady Lamarr?
You gonna git
it.
(beat)
Would you like to be a big wheel,
Dining'
out for every meal?
I'm the plant that can make it all real
You
gonna git it
(beat)
I'm your Genie.
I'm your friend.
I'm your
willin' slave...
Take a chance, just feed me, yeah.
You know
the kinda eats,
The kinda ret-hot tastes,
The kinda sticky
licky, sweets I crave...
A vine wraps around Seymour and pulls him closer to Audrey 2. Another vine rests on his shoulder.
Audrey 2:
Come on, Seymour,
Don't be a putz!
Trust
me and your life will surely
Rival King Tut's.
Show a little
initiative, boy,
Work up some guts,
And you'll git it.
Seymour walks away from the plant, toward a desk near the counter.
Seymour:
I don't know.
I don't know.
I have so...so
many strong...reservations.
Should I go...and perform…
Seymour reaches the desk and opens up a drawer. Inside the drawer is a small magnum handgun.
Seymour:
…mutilations?
Audrey 2 laughs for a moment.
Audrey 2:
You didn't have nothing 'til you meet me. Come on kid, what'll it be? Money…girls? One particular girl…how about that Audrey?
Seymour turns around and looks at the plant.
Audrey 2:
Think about it. There must be someone you can 86 real quiet like, and get me some lunch.
Seymour begins walking toward Audrey 2.
Audrey 2:
How would you like a room at the ritz,
Wrapped
in velvet, covered in glitz.
A little nookie gonna clean up those
zits,
And you'll git it.
Seymour starts to smile, like he is thinking of someone to feed to Audrey 2.
Greek Chorus: (o.s.)
Git it, git it, git it, git it!
Seymour:
Gee I'd like a Harley Machine.
Cruisin'
around like I was James Dean.
Makin' all the guys on the corner
turn green!
Audrey 2:
So, go git it!
If you wanna be profound...
you really gotta
justify...
Take a breath and look around...
A lot of folks
deserve to die...
Greek Chorus: (o.s.)
A lot of folks deserve to die!
Seymour's smile quickly fades. He slaps his plant across the face (pod…whatever).
Seymour:
Wait a minute, wait a minute. That is not a very nice thing to say.
Audrey 2:
But its true…isn't it?
Seymour:
No. I don't know anyone who should be chopped up and feed to a hungry plant.
Outside, we hear the sounds of a motorcycle coming to a screeching halt.
Audrey 2:
Sure you do.
Audrey 2 goes back into his resting position.
After a moment, the front door opens and Audrey comes rushing in, followed by Orin. He looks pissed.
Orin:
Jesus Christ, you stupid bitch. How could you forget your sweater? Go on and get it.
Audrey:
Yes doctor, right away doctor.
Audrey rushes over to the coat rack behind the counter and grabs her bright pink sweater. She turns and looks at Seymour.
Audrey:
Hey Seymour. I just forgot my sweater, so we came back and…
Orin: (yelling)
Come on and move it you ditzy cow. How can you, out of every girl on Skid Row, forget your sweater? This wouldn't have happened if you had your goddamn head screwed on.
As Audrey passes him, Orin smacks her hard in the face.
Audrey:
Orin, that hurt.
Orin:
Move it.
They both walk out of the door. Seymour's face gets red with anger. After they drive off in the motorcycle, Seymour turns and sees Audrey 2 looking at him.
Seymour and Audrey 2:
If you want a rationale,
It isn't very hard to
see.
Stop and think it over, pal.
The guy sure
looks like plant food to me!
The guy sure looks like plant food
to me!
The guy sure looks like plant food to me...!
Seymour:
He's so nasty treatin' her rough!
Audrey 2:
Smackin' her around, and always talkin' so tough!
Seymour:
You need blood and he's got more than enough!
Audrey 2:
I need blood and he's got more than enough!
Suddenly we see that Audrey 2 has, grasped in one of his vines, the magnum handgun Seymour saw earlier. Seymour looks at the gun with a smile on his face.
Seymour and Audrey 2:
You/I need blood and he's got more than enough...!
Audrey 2:
So, Go Git IT!
Seymour grabs the gun and looks at it. Audrey 2 pokes him in the shoulder with a vine.
Int. Mushnik's Florist – Seymour's room – Day.
Seymour is laying on his bed. (it must be the next day) After a moment, Seymour grabs the remote and turns on the small TV in his room.
On TV: A newsman sits at his desk, looking at the screen.
Newsman:
And in the latest news, President Reagan has announced that soon he will visit Skid Row and see the new plant, the "Audrey 2", that has caused a sensation all around the country.
Seymour turns off the TV, gets up off the bed and walks down the stairs.
Int. Mushnik's Florist – Day.
Only Mushnik and Audrey are in the shop. They seem to be cleaning up the place, almost as if they are renovating again.
Seymour:
What's going on here?
Mushnik:
Didn't you hear, Seymour? The President of the United States is gonna stop by and see the plant. We have to make this place look nice.
Audrey looks up and smiles at Seymour. He walks over to her.
Seymour:
Hey Audrey. Are you okay after last night?
Audrey:
I'm fine Seymour. He had the right. I ruined our date because I forgot something here.
Seymour:
Audrey, he had no right to hit you. Everything will be alright soon.
Audrey looks up at him and smiles.
Int. Dentist office – Waiting room – Night.
The waiting room is empty. The main door opens and Seymour slowly walks in. He looks all over the waiting room. We hear screams coming from a room down the hallway. A man runs down the hallway, through the waiting room and out of the door. Seymour watches the man go by.
Orin walks out, with blood on his uniform.
Orin:
That should teach you Mr. Farb for not paying up.
Orin looks at Seymour and recognizes him.
Orin:
Hey, aren't you that kid from Mushnik's Florist, down on Skid Row?
Seymour:
I'm not a kid, I'm 24.
Orin:
Does it look like I give a shit? Nope. Alright, get off your ass and get into one of the rooms.
Orin walks over to Seymour, with his hands reaching out for him.
Int. Dentist office – Dentist room – Night.
We now see Seymour sitting in a chair. He has a piece of plastic on his chest. Orin looks at Seymour with a smile.
Orin:
Okay, Mr. Krelborn. What is the problem tonight?
Seymour shrugs his shoulders.
Seymour:
Just the usual toothache.
Orin:
Well, since you're like a celebrity here in New York, I'm gonna want to enjoy this. I'll be right back, I gotta put on my favorite gas mask.
Orin walks into a small walk-in closet that is attached to the room and shuts the door. Seymour reaches into his pocket and pulls out the magnum gun. He aims it at the closet door.
Seymour:
Now, do it now
While he's gassing himself to a
palpable stupor
The timing's ideal and the moment is super
To
ready and fire and blow the sick bastard away
(beat)
(we hear Orin laugh from within the closet)
Now, do it now
Just a flicker of pressure,
right here on the trigger
And Audrey won't have to put up with
that pig for another day
Now-for the girl, now-for the plant
Now-yes I will. . .but I can't
Seymour puts the gun back in his pocket just in time, 'cause Orin walks out. He has a metallic backpack on his back and he has a (retarded looking) helmet on his head that is supplying him with nitrous oxide. As he walks out and looks at Seymour, he laughs very, very hard.
Orin: (laughing)
Hahaha. Seymour, I'm flying right now. I can't wait to do things with that mouth of yours. Haha. Oh my god this is fantastic. Since you're like a movie star, can I have an autograph? (pause) Well I've had about enough of this.
Orin reaches up and tries to pull the mask off…but it won't budge. He smiles as he tries to get the mask off.
Orin:
Hey Seymour, guess what?
Seymour:
What?
Orin:
The mask, it's stuck.
Seymour:
It is? Well, ain't that a bitch.
Orin:
Don't be fooled if I should giggle
Like a
sappy, happy dope
It's just the gas, it's got me high
But
don't let that fact deceive you
Any moment I could die
Though
I giggle and I chortle,
Bear in mind I'm not immortal
Why
this whole thing strikes me funny
I don't know-cause it really is
a rotten way to go
Orin continues to try and get the mask off, but it still won't budge. He starts laughing non-stop.
Seymour:
What we have here is an ethical dilemma
'Less
I help him get the mask removed,
He doesn't have a prayer
True
the gun was never fired,
But the way events transpired,
I can
finish him with simple laissez faire
And all I have to do is sit in this chair.
Orin starts laughing uncontrollably. He looks at Seymour, with a tired look on his face.
Orin:
Don't be fooled if I should chuckle
Like
hyenas in a zoo
It's just the gas, it turns me on
But don't
let my mirth deceive you
Any moment I'll be gone
All my vital
signs are failing
Cause the oxide I'm inhaling
Makes it
difficult as hell to catch my breath
Orin falls onto the ground. He tries to catch his breath, but he continues to laugh. After a moment, he looks up at Seymour.
Orin:
Are you dumb or hard of hearing?
Or relieved
my end is nearing?
Are you satisfied? I've laughed myself to. .
.
Suddenly, Orin collapses on the ground and stops breathing.
Seymour:
…Death.
Cut to…
Ext. Mushnik's Florist – Night.
We see the outside of Mushnik's Florist. A heavy rainfall is occurring. We see a lightning bolt screech across the sky. We see the Greek chorus slowly approaching the shop.
Greek Chorus:
Shing-a-ling, what a creepy thing
to be
happening!
Audrey 2: (o.s.)
Feed me!
Greek Chorus:
Shang-a-lang, feel the sturm
and drang in the
air. Yeah.
Int. Mushnik's Florist – Night.
We see Audrey 2, with his mouth open and with pieces of flesh hanging out of his mouth. He is laughing, devilishly. We see Seymour holding a hand that is covered in blood. He looks at it in disgust.
Audrey 2:
Feed me! Feed me all night long, haha.
Seymour tosses the hand into Audrey 2's mouth. He chews on it for a moment, then swallows it in his stem. Seymour goes over to the garbage bag that is leaking blood and pulls out Orin small intestines (Seymour almost pukes at seeing this).
Audrey 2:
Hahaha. Come on Seymour.
Seymour rushes over to the plant and places the intestines into Audrey 2's mouth. The plant quickly swallows the organ. After a moment, Audrey 2 starts to laugh out loud, in an almost demonic tone. A flash of lightning goes off outside.
Seymour walks over and sits down in a chair. He looks at the blood-thirsty plant.
Seymour: (silently)
What have I done?
