I can't get over the dirty looks, so I stub out the cigarette. I'm sat outside some sort of fancy coffee shop, drinking coffee, I smoke occasionally who doesn't, I mean that was the way it was. Right now I don't really believe what is happening to me. I need the smoke to steady my nerves, my doctor told me it was good idea when I got jumpy – honest he did.
Okay I'll level with you. Pencil to notepad. I have a copy of Metropolis' leading newspaper the Daily Planet. It tells me the date is 2010. The twenty first century – murder! Where are the flying cars?
Dammit I should start at the beginning, or near as. My name is Lois Lane I started working for the Daily Star in 1936 by lying to George Taylor about my age, by the time I was twenty one it was 1938, and despite bringing Taylor a number of stories that made the front page, too often I found myself relegated to second tier work, or worse writing the love lorn column. My big break came when a okie by the name of Clark Kent stumbled into the office, it took me a couple of years to work out what was going on, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
I saw Superman a little after that, he wasn't flying at that time, he did, but that came later. Oh that was my fault too, the whole Superman moniker – well he did have this big S on his chest, had to mean something.
So skip forward a couple of years and Superman vanished, there was this huge meteor or something doing the rounds of Planet Earth, and Clark later explained that robbed him of his powers, what do you mean, your surprised that I've worked this out already? It seems crazy I could work with someone for a couple of years, reporting on Superman and not realise he was the same person? In my defence Superman has this super-muscle control, hell he can pull his face so he looks like a completely different person, so the glasses Clark wore are about 1/10th the disguise.
So we're stuck in this mine, and Clark comes clean, I had guessed by then, I guess losing his powers meant he could only use the glasses, and the similarity between the mild mannered reporter and the Metropolis Marvel was obvious.
How I got here is another story. I wasn't supposed to poking around in one of the Ultra Humanites old labs, but I did. I thought maybe I could find out where that mad man vanished too – and I wish I could tell you what happened. I can't – except say there was a blinding flash of light, I passed out, and oh and I probably shouldn't have hit the big red switch I guess.
At first I thought I was in future, lots of clues, in your face kind of give-aways. Metropolis looked different in so many ways, cars, adverts, the fashions, it's just more cosmopolitan. And there was he date on the paper of course.
This News sheet – the Daily Planet, has pictures of Superman in it. Makes me wonder, he looks just like my guy, it strikes me hard, maybe that's because he doesn't age? That made me feel kind of cold inside.
Then I had second thoughts, in the real world Superman arrived in Metropolis in 1938, in this world reading between the lines of this article, it looks like Superman appeared say 15 maybe 20 years ago, not 70 odd. Jimmy used to read Amazing Stories, and tell me about them, and this reminds me of one his stories, about parallel worlds. The name on the by-line clinches the deal.
I see her.
Damn she looks like me. Well a badly dressed version of me. Jeans, I mean denim, that's for labouring in, and some sort of loose fitting blouse, a leather bomber style jacket. How can she expect anyone to take her seriously?
Okay I can see fashions have changed, that said it's clear people like what I'm wearing, the men especially, but the compliments are direct and verbal, no whistles, no one touches, people seem wary of each other. More differences I guess than just the fashions.
"Miss Lane?"
"Ms."
"I see. Can I please have a moment of your time?"
"Kind of busy here."
"Lois. Look at me."
She turns and my violet eyes look back at me. She swears.
"Where did you come from?"
"1940." I tell her.
"No kidding."
The uncomfortable silence passes between us, she kind of circles me giving me the once over, which makes me feel mighty peculiar, hell I'm used to being eyed up like a piece of meat, but by another woman who looks – who is another version of you – that's just whacky.
A short cab ride later that costs couple of Sawbucks, I kid you not. The prices of things in this world are crazy. Now I'm feeling lost in my twenty first century gal's apartment.
It was bad enough competing with radio, but the Daily Planet, the paper my Daily Star became, has to compete with television, and something call the web, I don't think you have to be a spider-man to cope with it, but maybe it helps. I'm watching the TV it's pretty clever, and a gal is reading the news.
My twenty first century doppelgänger has stepped out of the room when Clark arrives.
He looks the same, right down to the kiss curl on his forehead, it's good to see something is the same in this modern world. Back in my world I've known who the Metropolis Marvel is for a couple of months now- what can I say, I'm still embarrassed – two years Kent pulled that mild mannered reporter nonsense, and I bought it. I'm still mad at him.
Maybe I channel a little of my frustrations into this moment, because I get to my feet, put my hand on hip, kick my leg out a little, cock my head and give him the attitude. I say this now in hindsight, don't misunderstand me, I didn't mean to do those things, they came natural, that's me, it's the way I am.
"Lois..." He looks me over. "I like the new look, it's very period, wow it suits you, what's the reason for dress up?"
I got to say I'm kind of flattered, he likes my style, what can I say, I can't blame him, his Lois looks like she works construction.
Clark slows and walks purposefully, he has a puzzled smile on his face, and before I can say a word that great big blue bubble-headed baboon had his arm around my waist and was planting one on my lips. What can a girl do, I relaxed against that steel arm and let him take my weight, what is a man for. Then I kicked his shin, and hurt my foot. He lets go, I stumble back with a half hop and curse. "Damn you you big fat lummox what the dickens did you that for?"
"Cigarettes Lois?" He said as if it was the greatest crime in the world. I looked at him with wide eyes, there was a lost little boy looking back at me, and that spooked me good, this wasn't the Superman I knew, more Mickey Rooney than Carry Grant.
"What the hell is going on." That was the other me, from the way she was huffing I think she saw Superman kissing me.
Poor Clark he did a double take, and I blushed – I couldn't help it, I was sure he was more than undressing me with those baby blues of his, a girl likes to keep her unmentionables secret unless she knows they are going to go public, but with Clark you could bet your bottom dollar he'd be looking at my kidney's or something.
"Amazing." Superman said finally. "You are an alternative universe Lois Lane. How did you get here?"
"Don't you know your own wife?" The other Lois hissed.
"Wife?" I spluttered. "You two are married?"
"Yeah." She told me. "So don't you forget it." To Superman she said. "Where have you been I sent you a message ages ago."
"I was busy, there was a problem – the League needed me."
The other me put both hands on her hips and frowned. "The League? You mean Wonder Woman."
"Diana was there."
"Who is Wonder Woman?" Ever asked a question you wish you could take back because you know it was the wrong thing to say, and because it feels like you can cut the atmosphere with a knife, and you just know you aren't going to get any kind of answer that covers it? Well that was this to a t.
"Diana is a friend." Clark replied.
My 'twin' said nothing with her lips and everything with her body language, which shouted of the green eyed monster. I bit my lip because I wanted to say "Jealous much?" but I didn't, maybe being around my Clark is rubbing off on me at last?
Wow Lois Lane Kent was all fired up, I didn't know who she was going to go for first, I was kind of torn, part of me wanted her to have a go so I could to punch her in the nose for being such a bitch about this, then again the idea of hitting myself was kind of crazy, and the other part of me wanted her to hit Clark, because it would only hurt her, my foot knows that is true.
As it happened no body hits anybody, she just seethed and Clark looked lost at sea.
"When are you from?"
"1940." I tell him.
"I thought you had to be, from the outfit." I was looking at my 'twin' she wasn't any happier.
I thought I'd break the ice of the moment. With a light laugh I cracked a joke – or I thought I did.
"It took me nearly two years to work out this guy was Clark Kent." I stopped for a second she was looking madder if that was possible. "Wait he is Clark Kent in this universe..."
"Yes I'm Clark." Superman answered after a long uncomfortable moment. I get the impression it took Miss Twenty First Century a lot longer to come to the same conclusion. Well good for me.
"Look I have to go." The other Lois told her husband. Yeah I was still processing that revelation, if I'd taken a closer look at the pictures on the wall I'd have seen the wedding shot.
"You'll have to work out how to get her back to where she belongs." With that she did an about face and left, the door rattled on it's hinges as she banged it shut.
"Geez what's eating her?"
Superman looked at me as if I had two heads. "Lois I should change."
"Not on my account."
He smiled. Moments later he was dressed in slacks and a shirt, and glasses.
"That's the President and that's the Secretary of State?" I asked as the news programme continued in his brief absence. A black man and woman, things were different in this world.
"Yes President Obama, and Hillary Clinton, she came close to getting the Democratic Nomination."
"For President?" He nodded. I whistled. He smiled. So I walked up to him and took those glasses off his nose. "Don't mess with me Clark, I've had enough of that with my Superman."
He did that thing the Clark to Superman thing, I still hate it, I haven't got used to it back in my world, it's no less spooky in this one. He seems to grow a couple of inches, his shoulders roll back, his chest fills, his stomach tightens, and his eyes, well with the glasses they look dull and lifeless, without them they are like blue fire. I prefer the real deal.
Clark laughed. "Do you want a coffee, anything to eat?" I took the coffee. He did too, and then said to me.
"Lots of things are different here, I mean woman have come a long way since 1940, we haven't had a female President, but the British had their first woman Prime minister.. oh thirty years ago. In the army women are serving in combat zones, but not fighting, although that's a matter of time probably, and in law enforcement for example, cops the FBI, there are women officers." As an after thought he added. "There are female Astronauts – spacemen too."
"And your Lois, she is a reporter for a Newspaper?"
"Yes." He frowned. "Aren't you?"
"Yes, but I chose this job because I wanted to make a difference, because it was the best thing I could do, there wasn't any way I'd get to be those things you are telling me women can do here – army or cop or wow even travel into space – run for President, not in my world, but If I were here, if I had those kind of opportunities, I can't imagine I'd settle for being just a reporter in a world where as a woman I could really do a job that would really make a difference."
He got defensive. "Look Lois has written some important pieces."
I folded my arms. "I'm sure she has, but I read an article about the state of the Newspaper business in your rag Clark, it read like newsprint is yesterday news, and has been for a while now."
"You have a point I guess." He admitted. "But this just goes to show you and my Lois are different people."
I thought you bet we are, I couldn't help thinking my Superman was more of man too. If I'd talked to him like the other Lois had, he'd have turned me over his knee and spanked me, and I'd have deserved it.
"How did you find out?" He asked. I laughed glad to answer the question, to move onto safer ground, my world rather than his. Of course he could mean only one thing, how did I rumble his – I mean my worlds Superman's secret.
"There was a situation." I told him skipping to the meat of the story. "Clark and I were stuck down a mine with some other guys, this guy was trying to kill us, he'd collapsed the tunnel, we were running out of air, and the other's were out of it, I was fading fast, I thought Clark was going the same way. Truth is he had looked more like himself for a while – I only found this out later mind you – but he was exposed to something called K-metal, and for a while he hadn't his powers."
Superman nodded. "It's called Kryptonite here, at least it sounds like Kryptonite."
Nifty name I thought. "Well lucky for us his abilities kicked in when we were nearly done for, and that's what happened, he didn't have a choice, we were dying, so he opened up his shirt there and then, and did the Superman thing.
"What was your reaction?"
"Honestly I was as mad as hell with him, but after we'd got clear I told him straight. "Partners?" I said. "We should work together, for the greater good." But I let him know. "I am so angry with you Clark Kent." So we're doing exactly that."
"Are you dating?" Clark asked.
I blushed. He smiled. My heart probably gave me away. "It's not that I haven't thought about it. It's just we're working on our relationship for real this time, I want to build something... real," I stuttered, "because Clark – my Clark made it clear his affection for me was the genuine article, but honestly I'm still mad at him for being such a fool and not letting me help him before."
"He made you feel foolish too I guess."
"Yes." I admitted. "I told I felt he was laughing at me behind my back, and right now I'm working with him for the good of humanity."
"How long are you going to keep that up?" He asked. I realised that despite his boyish attitude, there was real depth to him, I couldn't help wonder whether it was my doppelgänger that was holding him back, beating him down, keeping him as her lost puppy?
"Long enough, hell he made me wait two years." I said laughing. "Maybe we're already making progress." I admitted.
Just then the air crackled and Superman appeared – my Superman. He held a box with dials and switches swung over his shoulder on leather strap.
"Lois!" He said with concern and relief. He looked across at his doppelgänger with a puzzled look.
I sighed there was going to be repeat performance of explanation and consternation.
"Superman meet Superman." I said, adding. "I hope that gizmo you've brought can take us home?"
"Sure it can." Superman replied, holding out his hand. "Pleased to meet you Superman." He said with a smile, which suddenly he morphed into a look of surprise, as the two men shook.
"I see you've taken a good look at the pictures on the wall, and worked out who lives here." My Superman was many things, observant was one of them, as was being fast on the uptake.
"We're married?" He said to me.
I didn't know what to say, so I didn't, but I realised in that moment that I just wanted to get home. I want to get out of this world before my twenty first century twin came home, because one thing was for sure, I didn't want my Superman to meet that possible version of my future, and the other thing was I sure as hell didn't want to become her.
