Blaine was having a very good day. He had just finish rehearsal with the warblers and was off to go on a date with Kurt. Walking along the slightly crowded sidewalk with a bounce in his step and a smile on his face, Blaine failed to notice the palm sized puppy on the ground. He felt something squish and sort of pop beneath his foot and looked down. There, under his foot was an exploded puppy. When he trod on it the puppy had exploded in a mess of goo and blood. People started to gather round when they heard the distraught noises coming from Blaine and saw the horrified look set upon his face. Everyone just stared at him, a multitude of thoughts ran through the crowds minds. Things such as 'How could someone do that to a puppy', 'what happened' and ' how did a puppy even explode'.
Blaine stood there, not knowing how to react after his initial shock followed by horror. Doing what he always does in a difficult situation, Blaine pulled out his phone and called Kurt.
"Hey Blaine, What's wrong? Are you going to be late or something?" Blaine distantly heard through the phone.
All Kurt heard through the phone was some rather distressed noises.
"Blaine, sweetie, what's wrong? I'm coming to get you. Tell me where you are and what happened."
"I'm just down the road from where we were meeting." Blaine replied slowly, knowing it was better for everyone to just tell Kurt where he was rather than let him panic.
"OK, what happened?" Came the slightly tentative reply through the tiny speaker.
"I stepped on a puppy." Blaine said, deciding to put it bluntly.
"Well what's the problem just apologize to the owner and give the dog a cuddle. I know you love puppies but this is ridiculous Blaine." Said Kurt, confused.
" OH MY GOD THE OWNER! Kurt I don't think you understand. I stepped on the puppy and it exploded. Goo everywhere, Kurt, people are staring. I don't know how to act beyond shocked and horrified. Do I just walk away or what?" Blaine explained with increasing speed.
"Okay, calm down, I'm almost there. I can see the crowd. I'll walk in and pull you out. Then I'll take you home and get you cleaned up" Kurt replied reassuringly" I'm hanging up now to get through the crowd."
Kurt hung up the proceeded to battle his way to his boyfriend and back out of the crowd now dragging his boyfriend by the shoulders. After loading Blaine into Kurt's car, Kurt decided that it would be a good idea to only talk to Blaine once they were at his house. Kurt knew he would need help in dealing with Blaine. At this time Finn would be home and his dad would be in a couple of hours. He knew he could manipulate Finn into helping if he wouldn't already with his odd protective side. Once home, Kurt pulled Blaine out of the car (he wasn't being all that cooperative), he opened the door and called out "FINN" in what Finn would call his 'get here or die' voice. "What, dude?" Finn said ambling in as if he hadn't just run the length of the house in fear of Kurt's wrath.
"Firstly, don't call me dude. Secondly, I need you to help me with Blaine." Kurt replied with his best bitch face on.
"What happened? I love you, bro, but I won't help you with anything ... Ya know." Finn awkwardly uttered.
"What?! That's not what I'm talking about. Blaine stepped on a puppy and it exploded. We need to clean him up and try to fix him. He seems to be in shock."
"Oh." Finn seemed to be having trouble keeping a straight face, then suddenly burst out laughing.
"I don't see what's so funny." Said Kurt hotly.
" Well, you said about what happened and now I can't stop imaging it and its kind of gross, horrifying and funny all at once."
"Of course you'd think that. I couldn't get a normal brother who would help me but one who laughs at dead puppies. Oh joy."
"Well now it just seems sad. Let's clean up Blaine then watch some football" seeing Kurt's face at the mention of the sport " or something you like."
Kurt triumphantly thought 'and that is how it's done'.
A/N: I wrote this after I read a fanfic in which somewhere in the middle Kurt inconsequentially said 'Blaine, stop looking like you trod on a puppy' and then I thought of that and I couldn't stop laughing. It has been wandering around my head all day so i decided that other people should also get to enjoy my mad sadistic mind.
