Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures.
This is a short story I wrote some time ago but never published. I guess I should warn that it isn't a conventional J/C story...but definitely J/C :)
THE OTHER KATHRYN
PART ONE
2374
It had been a hell of a day.
First, Voyager had taken a beating in an unprovoked attack by a hostile race calling themselves The Jenix, and then, after narrowly escaping another skirmish with a race at war with The Jenix, Voyager had suffered multiple system failures and been forced to crash land on a Demon Class planet. The ship, already badly damaged, was now in critical shape, and it would be hours, if not days, before she could fly again.
If only they had days.
The atmosphere on this planet was so ferociously volatile that not only was it deadly to humanoids, but hazardous to Voyager. It's devil red air was metal devouring and it was only an unstable forcefield that was keeping the corrosive vapors at bay. If it failed, they would only have an hour to save the ship.
"I think we should forget about Voyager and just get the hell out of here," Tom had said in an emergency meeting. "We have enough shuttles and escape pods to get the crew into space within half an hour. Then we can find ourselves an m-class planet to converge on and plan our next move."
"Next move to where?" B'Elanna asked. "Without Voyager we'll be stranded!"
"Not if we can get our hands on another starship."
"And just how are we supposed to do that? Because I don't know of any on offer around here, do you?"
"I'm with Tom," Harry had said. "If there's any chance we'll all die by staying, I say we leave. Abandoning Voyager doesn't have to mean abandoning our mission."
"I say it does," B'Elanna insisted. "Because if we..."
Kathryn had silenced their bickering with a raising of her hand.
"That's enough. I appreciate your concerns, and if the forcefield fails, we'll consider leaving, but for the moment we'll proceed with repairs. Lieutenant Torres is confident that we can be spacebound by midnight and I trust her judgement. After all, I've never had reason to doubt it."
Tom protested. "But..."
"I'm not ready to give up on Voyager. She's brought us this far, she'll get us home. So, instead of standing around wasting time, let's get stuck into repairs. At times like this, a job knows no rank."
And so they had all departed the briefing room and lent their assistance where it was needed. But now, three hours after midnight, there was still no sign of Voyager being able to fly. B'Elanna kept saying "within the next thirty minutes, Captain," but that thirty minutes kept becoming another thirty minutes, and the ship's fragile forcefield could not hold out much longer. In fact, it could fail at any moment.
In her ready room, standing before a window of red mist, Kathryn drank a coffee as she pondered their dilemma.
Stay, and perhaps doom the crew to death, or leave and damn them to a lifetime in the Delta Quadrant. Because while it wasn't impossible that they could get their hands on another ship...perhaps a friendly race would give them one...it was unlikely. With only shuttles and escape pods at their disposal, they would never make it home. They would never even make it as far as the planet they had left the 37's on. Their best option would be to settle on an M-Class planet and make it their home.
But that would mean giving up on their mission, of admitting defeat, and that... she didn't know if she could do it.
Not yet. Not now.
"Paris to Janeway."
Tom's voice brought Kathryn out of her thoughts and, reluctantly, she responded.
"Janeway here."
"The forcefield is failing. We have ten or fifteen minutes before it's gone."
Kathryn's stomach sank.
Ten or fifteen minutes. Then the red breath of hell would start devouring the ship.
The ship and them.
Alive.
What now? What was she to do now?
First, acknowledge the situation.
"Acknowledged, Mr Paris."
"Shall we start evacuating?"
Kathryn closed her eyes, her whole being protesting, but she had to do what she had to do to save the crew. Even if that meant sacrificing their only way home.
But, just as she was about to say yes, a dazzling blue light filled the room, coming from behind her. Kathryn instinctively turned around and, as the light faded, came face to face with herself.
A mirror image.
Almost.
For this Kathryn, while in the same uniform, had hair that was bobbed.
"Captain," Tom beseeched, "shall we..."
The other Kathryn answered.
"No, Tom. We've waited this long, we'll wait some more."
"But..."
"My final word, Janeway out."
Then, before Kathryn could even ask what the hell was going on, this other Kathryn stepped forward and spoke.
"We don't have much time, so we'll have to skip the small talk. I'm here to right a wrong. Two years ago, I did what you were just about to. I gave the order for us to abandon Voyager. Big mistake. And I won't let you make it again."
Kathryn stepped forward. "Why is it a mistake? What alternative is there?"
"The why, you don't need to know. The what...we stay and wait for B'Elanna to come good."
"But she's been promising to for the last five hours. We can't wait another five. The forcefield is failing, which means we..."
"Only have an hour to save Voyager, I know. And you will. B'Elanna will have you off this planet within twenty minutes."
"How can I trust that? How can I trust you?"
"Because if you can't trust yourself then..." Suddenly this Kathryn's face paled. "Oh, no! Right time, right place...wrong reality!"
Kathryn frowned. "How do you mean?"
"I'm not you...you're not me. I haven't bunned my hair since...since The Bonestell. Damn it! They assured me it would work! But oh, what the hell! If I can't save my crew, I can at least save yours."
"With all due respect, I'll make the decisions for my crew."
"Based on what? Total ignorance of what is to come?"
"If you're from a different reality, you're just as much in the dark."
"Not if our realities are so much the same that we both ended up in this place, at this exact moment, facing the exact same choice."
"Perhaps. Or perhaps this convergence of our realities is just momentary...coincidental. Everything else might be different."
"Perhaps. But will you risk it? Because if I'm right, and you do, you will soon come to wish you had all died right here, right now."
"I don't believe the future can be that bad. I can't even believe you're actually here! The Doctor said we might start hallucinating as the forcefield weakens. You might be nothing more than a figment of my imagination."
"Or of your conscience. But I'm not. I'm actually here."
"Then tell me how."
"That doesn't matter. What matters is that you stop arguing and start listening. Any moment now, B'Elanna will swear to you that she can get Voyager flying in time and will beg you not to evacuate. Believe her and trust her. I didn't and we all paid the price."
Just as she spoke, B'Elanna's voice sounded over the comm.
"Torres to Janeway."
This time the other Kathryn stayed silent, allowing Voyager's Captain to respond.
"Go ahead," she said.
"I know the forcefield is failing, Captain, but I swear to you that I can get Voyager flying within twenty minutes. All I have to do is realign the nycon cells and we'll have enough power to get into orbit. Please, Captain, trust me. I wouldn't put the crew in danger unless I knew for sure I could do this. Please, Captain. We can't abandon Voyager."
Kathryn wanted to say no, that it was too risky, but neither her heart or her head could ignore the plea in the other Kathryn's eyes or disregard her words of warning.
A middle road.
There had to be one.
And there was.
"Ok, B'Elanna. I'll trust you. But to be on the safe side we'll begin evacuating. Only those of us needed to save the ship will stay. But twenty minutes is all you have. If we're not in orbit by then, we all leave. Understood?"
"Understood, Captain. And thank you. I know I can do it."
"I believe you. Janeway out."
The other Kathryn smiled. "A fair compromise."
"From my perspective, a necessary one." She then hit her commbadge. "Janeway to Chakotay."
Chakotay replied instantly.
"Chakotay here."
"B'Elanna is confident she can get Voyager into orbit within twenty minutes, but as a precaution I want you to take charge of evacuating this ship. I'm going to stay behind with B'Elanna and her team."
"But..."
"You've always said you'll trust B'Elanna with your life. Trust her with mine. Janeway out."
"Interesting choice of words," the other Kathryn said. "Trust her with mine. Shouldn't that have been ours?"
Kathryn blushed a little. This Kathryn was right. He should be just as concerned about leaving B'Elanna behind, and her team, as herself. Why had she implied his concern therein was greater?
"Unless," the other Kathryn humored her, "you meant because you're the captain."
"Yes," Kathryn lied. "That's what I meant."
The other Kathryn curled her lip, clearly amused, but then, as she looked around, the light in her eyes faded.
"Well, this is another fine situation we're in, isn't it? I thought I would disappear from existence once the timeline was changed, but here I am still."
"Perhaps it hasn't changed yet. Or perhaps you being from another reality complicates things."
"Oh, it definitely complicates things. Let's just hope not too much."
"Of course, you might not actually be from another reality. The timeline is always changing. It may have changed in the second it took you to make the jump."
"Anything is possible." Then, without asking, she took Kathryn's coffee cup, took a sip, and then handed it back. "Oh, I needed that."
Kathryn opened her mouth to speak, but all of a suddenly the ship shook. Steadying herself, Kathryn hit her commbadge.
"Janeway to the bridge. Report."
Tuvok answered. "The forcefield has failed, Captain. Our sudden exposure to the planet's atmosphere jolted the ship. We can expect further turbulence."
"Understood. Has evacuation begun?"
"Yes, Captain."
"Acknowledged. Keep me informed. Janeway out."
"Going back to what we were saying," the other Kathryn said, "another possibility is that I'm still around because my role here isn't done yet."
"What more could there be for you to do? I've done what you said. I've given B'Elanna the go ahead."
"For now. But maybe you'll lose your nerve."
An alarm suddenly blared and the computer spoke.
"Warning. Structural integrity is failing."
Kathryn looked up and around. It had begun. The devouring of Voyager by the devil air had begun.
"Like you're losing it now," the other Kathryn said. "But Voyager is a tough old cookie. She can withstand some corrosion."
"Some, yes, but what if we've miscalculated how fast the vapors..."
"We haven't," the other Kathryn interrupted.
Suddenly, a violent jolt sent Kathryn and her counterpart flying to the floor. The two Kathryn's groaned as they slammed against metal, but only one of the Kathryn's got up.
The other Kathryn.
Unharmed, she quickly saw that her counterpart wasn't. There was a gash on her face, which was bleeding, and her head was lying at an awkward angle to her body.
Quickly, the visiting Kathryn knelt beside her and searched for her pulse, but there wasn't one.
She was dead.
What now?
"Chakotay to Janeway."
Kathryn was a moment in responding.
"Janeway here."
"We have successfully launched the first shuttle. I will leave with the second. In the meantime we will launch escape pads."
"Ack..acknowledged."
"We will leave two for you and B'Elanna's team."
"Thank you."
There was a moment's silence. "Are you ok, Captain?"
"Yes...I...I'm fine. As you were. Janeway out."
Fine.
What a lie!
By trying to make things better she had, quite possibly, made things a hell of a lot worse!
Play with Time and Time will toy with you.
Those words of warning, given so many years ago at Starfleet Academy, had never rang more true.
In trying to save Voyager, she had killed its Captain. Killed herself. What would become of the crew now? How would they get home without her? No one else could be depended on to get them there, not even Chakotay. For although he would do his best, he would more readily admit defeat than she would and settle in the Delta Quadrant.
Damn you, Kathryn. Why did you have to interfere?
Because the future that was to come was worse than death here.
Worse than Voyager's captain dying here.
A million times worse.
Hold to that.
And perhaps she was underestimating Chakotay. God knows, she always had. He was just as dedicated to getting the crew home as herself and was every bit as determined and disciplined. With her dead, Voyager would be in good hands.
The best hands.
And, now that Voyager would be saved, that terrible future she was from would never happen. For that, she would gladly give her life.
For that, she had given her life.
Twice.
"Torres to Janeway."
Kathryn responded. "Go ahead."
"We're all done, Captain. Voyager can launch."
Voyager can launch.
Hallelujah!
But why, then, did she still exist? Why wasn't she gone?
"Shall I inform the bridge, Captain, so we can stop evacuating and launch instead?"
The half-Klingon shouldn't have had to ask.
Pull yourself together.
Be the Captain while you are.
"Affirmative."
"Then I will right away. Torres out."
Silence.
Slowly, reluctantly, Kathryn got to her feet and looked out of the window. The red air was hotter now, swirling like flames of fire against the windows.
Hell.
She truly was in hell.
But not for much longer. Any moment now Voyager would launch and she would be erased from time.
Gone forever.
Only she didn't disappear. As Voyager's engines roared to life, and the great starship rose off the ground and soared into orbit, her existence continued.
Even as Voyager stopped among the stars, safe from destruction, her life went on.
And on.
But why?
The future was changed now. In a few days repairs would be complete and the crew would be on their way home again.
So why did she still exist?
To take their Captain's place and get them there.
But no, it could not be! She didn't belong in this timeframe or this reality.
Or did she? Was she trapped here? Was the other Kathryn's life hers now?"
"Torres to Janeway. Mission accomplished."
B'Elanna's pride was audible...and justified. At the eleventh hour she had pulled off an incredible feat. And she deserved to be told so.
"Well done, B'Elanna. I'm very proud of you."
"Thank you, Captain. And thank you for trusting me. It means...it means everything."
Tears filled Kathryn's eyes. In the years since this incident, B'Elanna had told her many times that she could have saved Voyager if only she'd been given the chance. Now she had proved that she could.
A lesson in trust for both of them.
Too bad it was too late.
Too late for her crew, not for this one.
They were safe now.
Free.
"It's me who should be thanking you," Kathryn said. "And I do. Sincerely." Then, steeling herself against the tide of emotions threatening to overwhelm her, she changed the subject. "But we're still got a lot of repairs to do so let's get to them."
"Right away, Captain."
As the connection terminated, the door chime played.
Kathryn froze.
Caught.
Time to face the music.
Time to...
But as she turned towards her dead counterpart, the real Kathryn Janeway who belonged in this timeframe, she saw, to her bewilderment, that she was gone.
Vanished without a trace.
All that remained on the floor where she'd lay was her...their...beloved coffee cup. Slowly, tenderly, Kathryn knelt on the floor and picked it up.
Undamaged.
The fall that had killed a Captain had not even cracked it.
Resilient.
Just like herself. For she had survived. Survived against all the odds. And she was surviving still.
Living still.
Meant to be here.
Meant to take that Kathryn's place.
Meant to get her crew home.
"And I will," she vowed. "I swear."
The door chime played again, more urgently this time, and Kathryn got to her feet.
"Come in!"
The doors opened and Tuvok came in. His observant eyes noticed her hair but he said nothing. Perhaps the other Kathryn had changed her hairstyle often.
"The crew are boarding, Captain," he said. "And I'm pleased to announce that Voyager left the surface without further damage."
Kathryn smiled. "Excellent news, Tuvok."
"It will, however, take us over a week to make all necessary repairs. There is an m-class planet about 5 light years away and I suggest we take refuge there to complete them."
"No!" Kathryn said urgently. "No! I mean...we'll complete them here."
That planet, so heavenly beautiful and alluring, was where their hell had begun and she never ever wanted to see it again.
"But," Tuvok argued.
"My final word," Kathryn insisted.
Tuvok sighed. "Very well, Captain. But I confess I do not see the logic."
Kathryn stepped closer. "Then look harder. This sector is teeming with hostile races. Races with no conscience or compassion. Already we've fallen victim to two. Let's not make ourselves a sitting duck for a third. Because that is what we'll be on that planet...anyone's for the taking. But not here. Not in orbit of this planet. No one comes here."
At her words, Kathryn saw suspicion fill Tuvok's eyes, saw him scrutinize her with his Vulcan soul.
"I sense an aberration," he said, "a deviance in the space-time continuum. You are...out of time. And yet...in sync."
Kathryn did not deny it. There was no point.
"That's right, Tuvok. While we were on the planet, something happened outside the space-time continuum. But that's all I'm at liberty to tell you...temporal prime directive."
It was as good an excuse as any to not give details.
"But," she continued, "if I ever need to tell you more, I will."
"Very well, Captain."
The suspicion in Tuvok's eyes had gone now and, as she stood there looking at him, tears filled Kathryn's eyes. It was so good to see him again. So good to see him alive and well. How she had missed him. Missed so many of them.
A second chance.
That is what this was. A chance to fully right her wrong.
And she would.
That future, that terrible future that made her blood run cold just to think about, would never happen now. It was time for a new one to begin.
"But I might need you to be my memory for a while," she went on. "I've been out of time so my recollection might be a bit foggy."
"Which," Tuvok replied, "warrants an examination by The Doctor."
Kathryn wanted to protest but, knowing it was a battle she wouldn't win, she admitted defeat.
"Ok, Tuvok. But all this stays between you, me, and The Doctor, understood? There's no need to inform Chakotay."
He would ask too many questions and she wasn't ready to answer them. Not now. Perhaps not ever.
If she remained in this reality forever.
"My lips are sealed, Captain."
Kathryn smiled. "But not against a coffee, I hope. Join me?"
A hint of a smile crossed the Vulcan's face. "After you have seen The Doctor."
Kathryn laughed. "You drive a hard bargain. But it's a deal."
END OF PART ONE
