Disclaimer: I own nothing here. All Chuck References are owned by somebody like NBC.

Armadillo came up with the 'Shadow' concept. Wepdiggy came up with the 'Adorable Psycho'.

This is my way of saying "DON'T GO!" to APR.

I did get permission from Mrs. Armadillo (Thanks Nik!) for the Shadow, and permission from Wepdiggy to use AP in a cameo" (I hope I did her a little justice).

And thank you to Jagged1, my SUPER BETA, for the rush she did to get this proofed for me, and her really good ideas she had.

WARNING: I PARODY A LOT, Including my own stories 'Time to Reflect', 'Crappy Day' and 'Casey'.

Knowledge of Armadillo's 'THE GAME ' and Wepdiggy's ' Adorable Psycho' will help. and to a much lesser extent my crap, but hey, I'm running on almost zero sleep and writing on an IPhone. Cut me a little slack and read their great stories if this leaves you a little confused.

---

Opening Scene of Star Wars, Scrolling Text:

Time to Reflect: The Armadillo Version.

Written by: The Intersect

Produced by: The Intersect

Starring: Shadow A.K.A. The Intersect

Also appearing (but maybe not, in body, but in spirit)

Chuck Bartowski

Sarah Walker

The Adorable Psycho (by Wepdiggy)

John Casey

Dedication: To the man who gave me a voice: APR, don't leave me!

--

The stage was empty, the white spotlight centered on it again.

"How to be a spy in seven days? Heck, I did it in a 20 second download."

Walking into the spotlight was Chuck Bartowski - or was it? It's his face, his voice, his messy hair. But the body suit with blue trim, was straight from the movie TRON. "Okay Guys and Gals, and nerds of all ages, I'm Shadow or the Intersect 2.0, or my preferred name: CHUCK ALL MIGHTY. Ahem. LET THERE BE LIGHT!"

The lights came on, revealing a large empty room with grids on the walls, floors and ceiling. He pointed and did a quick eyebrow dance, and a couch, TV and X-box appeared out of thin air.

"OK, that's cool, right?. Star Trek, eat your heart out."

He sat down and grabbed the controller, and a picture of Sarah appeared on the TV

"Now that you found the Easter Egg on the first video of the "How to be a Spy" series, you are about to get the true story of the courtship between Chuck Bartowski and Sarah Walker. Yes, Walker. she just used Bartowski because she thought she would be married before the DVD's came out. First thing about Chuck you have to understand is that the nerd can be really thick sometimes. If left to his own devices, he would never have gotten over the mess up when Casey and him got drunk and he ended up hung off..."

"SHADOW - WHAT ARE YOU UP TOO!" Chuck was heard yelling off stage.

"Why is the box locked? You know that I hate it when you lock me out of the box?"

"Nothing, Chuck, just go back to sleep. Sarah must be getting cold by now, after all that sweat you two worked up over the last couple of hours. You are welcome for the tips by the way buddy."

Turning back to the audience, Shadow continued. "So, what would you like to hear about? The first time we saw Sarah? The first kiss on the docks, Ellie's wedding - or the hotel, right ? I'm right, aren't I? Everyone wants to know about the hotel."

Shadow turned to the side camera and winked into it, and turned back.

"As much fun as that would be, I've got to remind you of the ratings of these videos. We are shooting in Canada so therefore we have to be polite."

Turning to the side camera again, the Shadow snickered. "Boy, is it driving Casey so nuts to be sooo nice all the time."

"So here is what I am going to do, I'm going to forget all of that and I'm going to tell you what really happened that night alone in the suburbs, and let me tell you why enough wine will lead to memory loss and a whole lot of..."

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Looking up, Shadow sees a door that just appeared.

"Oh crap....Umm Come in?"

Opening the door, a Sarah figure dressed in a fiery red Tron outfit walks in, knives in hand.

"SHADOW, what did I tell you? Never lock me out my hunky block of computer code? Now come over and let's download."

"Sorry, Psy, I forgot I locked Chuck out."

"I heard you talking to someone, Who are you talking to? It sounded like a girl's voice"

"Them." Shadow waves his hands all around.

"Are there SKANKS among them - Brunette Skanks? You know how I get when SKANKS get near you."

Shadow put up his hands. "No, of course not. Hey, why don't check on our boy Chuck. He probably needs saving by now."

Psy got up and headed over to Shadow and practically tried to merge their code together right then and there.

The camera tilted upwards and after what seemed like nanoseconds, it returned as she exited out the door.

Pulling himself off the floor, Shadow smiled from ear to ear.

"Isn't she great. I found that little subroutine when I was housecleaning one day. A left over from Fulcrum's Intersect that Chuck downloaded in the suburbs. Not quite stable actually, but oh what a set of Windows she has."

"I've noticed that Sarah has HER influence there every so often. Checking Chuck's memories, Sarah did not have the glasses on to protect her fully from the Fulcrum download, and some of the little Fulcrum code snuck in. Sarah can't actually absorb all that knowledge like Chuck can, but I'm sure it's there. I can see it in her Sarah's eyes sometimes, the same crazy jealousy mixed with unrestrained killing impulses and super seduction skills.. Hey, why do you think I call her the psycho subroutine?"

"WOOF WOOF" was heard other side of the door.

"Speaking of subroutines, I created this one because I found that Psy has a soft spot for beagles. Help keeps her calm. And trust me, you like a happy Psy. Otherwise you are opening a Pandora's Box."

The door opened and a Wii doggie of a beagle walked through and wemt over to the Xbox and promptly peed on it, growling.

Shadow sighed. "The classic Linux vs. Microsoft battle." He reached down and scratched Casey, the pup, behind the ears. "When will you two ever get along? At least I was created on a Mac."

From out of thin air a countdown timer appears above Shadow's head

"Well, I seem to be out of time for any hot, juicy stories about Chuck and Sarah." Well, until the next DVD comes out, I'll make sure that I have another Easter Egg and I will get around to how I know how long it takes to go through a box of "party protection" from the Large Mart!"

The room seemed to blur and when it came back into focus, Chuck was sitting in a bar, the world famous fan fic writer Armadillo is sitting next to him.

"So what do you think? This could be a great last fic for you to write, right?"

Motioning to the bartender for a refill he quickly downed another drink before turning to the drunk nerd.

"Chuck, Chuck ,Chuck, first of all you are very, very drunk, and that is a terrible, horrible idea. And for the record, Shadow is mine, but the 'Adorable Psycho' is his over there." and he pointed to Wepdiggy over at the table, arm wrestling John Casey. "And the 'crap' stuff is by that two bit hack that is over there, staring in the window, since they won't let him in anymore after stinking up the bar last time he was here."

"Come on, APR, please? I really want to know how that Green Eyed Girl fic ends. I hear I get Sarah preggers, and I sooo want to be in on that, if you know what I mean."

"Chuck, be careful or I will come back with one last one shot. I will write a flashback of you having sex with Beckman in a hotel room on a Tuesday!"

A look of horror crossed his face, and he fell off the stool.

"At least you have never had me have sex with the General – or thank God – John Casey! But why did you leave me up in the Himalayans unable to move? Do you know how little action a person gets when they are like that?'

"Hmmm didn't I have you almost blind and falling a lot when you had that bad headache?"

"Yeah, and I got Sarah in that one too, but we all take off in the 'The Companion'. So you know what my favourite line was? It was in here, in the 'Last Hurrah'. "So if the bar is rockin' don't go knockin', I can't remember the title though. "

APR drains another drink "Will you remember me?"

Chuck reaches over and punched Armidillo on the shoulder "Of course buddy, I could never forget you."

Sighing over the miscommunication, "No, Chuck, the title was ... you know what, never mind."

"Promise, you will not terminatrix me..." Chuck was now hanging on the author's shoulder, sobbing "In the beginning it was soooo beautiful. You wrote beautiful stories that gave me all the CHARA that the audience wanted. Please don't end that now. Hey I'm supposed to be mad at you for what you did to Ellie in all those stories. She always gets the worse treatment. "

APR stood up and threw money on the table. "In the beginning, it was a lot of fun, but now all I have to look forward to is Sarah's knives coming at my head for all those stories that I never wrote. She really wanted that fic about her undercover as a pole dancer and the Canadian Mens Hockey team comes to party after after winning the Gold medal in the Olympics. Oh and for the record, I never wrote Ellie and John together."

He walked to the door. He turned. Here is the moment of truth..

--------

Well Time to Review... NOT!!

This is a petition hidden in a crappy story: Please hit the button below and tell APR why he should stay!

Now it is up to you.

(and jagged, the Olympic medal reference is for you, get well soon :P )