Sneaky Kitty: Hi peoples! So, I decided to tell the tale of what happens when Crazy Hand decided to throw a party with all the Smashers at his mansion. Based off the movie Clue.

I do NOT own any of these characters, the Nintendo peoples do~! And I don't own CLUE the movie either!

I'm just the person who wrote this story. Enjoy!


Dear Super Smash Brother,

You have cordially been invited to the Crazy Hand's Mansion

to attend a special party along with your fellow Smashers.

Please dress appropriately,

nudity is not an option

(Got that Wario?!)

Arrive at: 8:30 p.m.

Location: 108 Ultra Spooky Mansion Rd

Make sure to bring this invitation with you also.

-From, Crazy Hand

Chapter 1: Arriving at Crazy Mansion

At the end of a long, dark road, sat the Crazy Hand Mansion. On this stormy, cold night, Smashers from far and wide would gather and take part of something they would never forget for the rest of their lives. (insert Sneaky Kitty's ebil laff here!)

Already at the mansion, Master Hand stirred about uneasy. With a bow tie tied under his white wrist, he danced in the mirror happily singing. " Itsh tha best, day, Evaaaaaaa! Best day eva! Itsh tha best, day, Evaaaaaaaaaaa!" There was an irritated knock on the door.

"I'm not wearing this!" Continuing to knock ferociously was the young Hyrule Princess Zelda. Steam fumed from the top of her head as she attempted to pull down the back of the WAY too short French maid costume she had on. "I can't even walk without the whole world seeing my ass!!"

"Too bad sista. Those ish tha rules."

"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!" Zelda threw a wild childish tantrum.

Master Hand went downstairs through the foyer and to the kitchen, where Mr. Game & Watch laid snoring on the floor.

"Game & Watch, you're supposed to be cookingz! That's why you're tha 'chef'."

A startled 2-dimensional black Mr. Game & Watch bounced up ringing his bell in reply.

"You're gonna ruin tha party and Crazy Hand will neva speak to me again and he'll neva like me and WHY ISH LIFE SO CWUEL?!!! " Master Hand ran out sobbing. (how can a hand sob?) Mr. Game & Watch gave him the finger then started jumping about.

Outside with the crashing thunder, a lone wolf howled at the sky. Well, more specifically, the Wolf. Talented space pilot Wolf sat on the tiny porch of Crazy Mansion, a steel chain around his neck. The door behind him opened-

"What is the meaning of this?! Unlatch me now!" Wolf clawed.

"Waaaah! Mr. Game & Watch ish gonna ruin everyting-WAAAAAH!" Master Hand hugged Wolf.

"I…cant….breath….you…….moron….!"

"Oh, so itsh always about YOUS? Stupid dog!"

"Let me go!"

"Yous don't know tha true meaning of friendship."

"You're trying to suffocate me!'

"Just act your part of ferocious wolf doggy."

With that, Master Hand threw him down, returning back to the mansion. By now, Zelda had moved downstairs into the dining room, dusting the decorations. She cursed under her breath when she saw Master Hand again.

"Might I ask the whereabouts of Crazy Hand? This is his party."

"I don't knows- *Ding Dong* a guest!" Master Hand did an air flip racing back to the door.

The fearless pilot of the Arwing, Fox, stared dumbstruck, "Ummm, Wolf? Why are you- "

"HAHAHA!" The blue bird, Falco fell to his knees.

Wolf growled, "Shut. Up. Falco."

"This is priceless!"

"I'll MAUL you to DEATH!!"

"Hey Fox, this party is really off the chain isn't it? Oh, too bad Wolf wouldn't know!!"

"Was…was that supposed to be a joke????"

Fox face-palms. Falco snaps a picture on his camera phone.

"Don't laugh at my doggie. Now if you pwease, welcome to tha house. Leave weaponsh at tha door and go to tha lounge."

Falco and Fox obeyed their orders, and Wolf bit his chain, "Damn these people to a Furby infested HELL!!!!"


"Tag your it!"

"No fair!"

" Catch me if you can!"

"Haaai!"

A few blocks down the dark road, hail popped off the windshield of the almighty Halbred. Mega Knight gloomed at the wheel, while his passengers ran around like 5 year olds.

"Bringing you guys, WHY AM I??"

" Becauuuuuuuuuuuuuuse, you are the very responsible designated driver who can drive us when we're like, totally crunk off our asses, chika-chika-yeeea! " Marth, the blue haired tiara wearing prince sang high pitched.

"Like you guys, I do not."

Blue haired Ike called, "You traveled with us during the Space Emissary. We're brothers now Meta Knight!"

"Oh my gosh Ike, you're so right." Marth yipped.

"He sounds stupid." The fiery redhead Roy mumbled.

"Imma eat chu!!!" Kirby hungrily clamped his mouth around Roy's head.

"What's that up ahead?"

On the side of the road, a very angry Samus blew missals at her already smoking space ship.

"Stupid Geico, how can getting attacked by a giant alien NOT be included in my car insurance??!"

"Pika, pika…" The yellow mouse Poke'mon shrugged. Samus had been at this for hours.

"Dude, hey!" Marth waved out the window. "You guys need like a ride or what??"

"No, I'm not done taking out my anger!! I didn't even save 15% or more!!"

"Ugh, way harsh dude, chillaaaaaaaax. We're on our way to a par-tay. Hop in!"

"Chu." Pikachu hopped aboard. Samus reluctantly following.

"Invite people on MY SHIP, thanks." Meta Knight yelled.

"Anytime!" Marth grinned.

"Now imma eat chu!" Kirby bit Meta Knight.

"…" Meta Knight beats his head against the steering wheel. "A CONCUSSION, I WANT!"


Back at Crazy Manor….

*Knock-Knock*

"Itsa me, Mario!"

"And me, a-Luigi!"

"Who will forever be in my overcastted shadow and no one cares about because everyone knows that I'm the star who wins everything." Mario pushed his little brother out of the way.

"Mario, unchain me!" Wolf barked.

"Waaah! Itsa scarrrrrrrrry~!" Luigi ran away.

Behind Mario peaked the pink princess, Peach. She glanced at Wolf.

"Oh….how adorable, a puppy!"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME BI-"

*GLOMP*

"Ooooooh I'm gonna hug you and squeeze you into itty bitty little pieces and call you Poochi!" Peach caressed her new pet.

"My god she's a-stupid." Mario sighed.

"If yous be so kind, leggo of my Eggo!! Er- I mean come in tha house." Master Hand interrupted.

"But I saw him first, he's mine!"

"He'll join us laters."

"Nuuuuuuuuu!"

"Hey Peach, there ish a Care Bear inside."

"Yaaaaaaay! Care Bare!" Peach ran inside.

Luigi ran in circles across the lawn. "Scary dog, SCARY DOG!"

Just then, the blue and orange Falcon Flyer crash landed on the lawn. Out from the hatch came the showy Captain Falcon. He gave the thumbs up before announcing, "Another horrible landing by: Falcon!"

"We almost died!" Pit the dizzy angel yelled, stumbling out the ship.

"Falcon says: Not true, for angels, can not die."

"Well I don't want to find out."

"Gaaaah!' Luigi cried.

"Captain Falcon, Pit, welcomez. Weaponsh at tha door, and could someone pweash bring in Luigi?" Master Hand called.

"Falcon on it. Falcon, PAWNCH!!"

"Owowowowowoooo!" Luigi smashed through the doors.

"Thanksies Falcon."

"Another successful mission by: Falcon!"

"Congratulations." Pit cheered.

"Now, Falcon go, and get Pit piss drunk, LIKE A MAN. Make him grow hair, on his balls!"

"Ew, what?!" Pit was helplessly caught in a chokehold and dragged inside.

"Party! Party!...Party!" Nana, Popo, Lucas, and Ness all ran through the door shouting.

Lucario the blue and black Poke'mon walked in with Yoshi the green dinosaur. Behind them, the timid Olimar and observant R.O.B. Wario came in riding his obnoxiously loud motorcycle.

"Ooh oh AH!" ( Translation: I'm KING KONG!" ) Donkey Kong pounded on his chest.

"Oh…….ee…" (Translation: No….you're just a monkey named Donkey.") Diddy informed.

Poke'mon Trainer entered the mansion with King Dedede, His face shone when he noticed Lucario. "Legendary Poke'mon!!!"

How did you figure that out, Sherlock? Lucario chuckled.

Fire burning in his eyes, Poke'mon Trainer pulled out a Poke'ball and begun to dance. "Poke'ball, GOOOOOOOOOO!"

Ow! You can't catch me you moron!

"I WANT YOU!!!! I wanna be the very best. Like no one ever was…!"

Not that stupid song!!

Lucario fled with Poke'mon Trainer on his trial.

"Every one ish almost here!" Master Hand rejoiced.

The Halbred was the next ship to land.

"Hello! Weaponsh at tha door, and Samus take off your suit pwease."

"Fine."

"Dude." Marth clutched Ike's arm as he watched Samus take off the bottom of her suit. "I don't want to sound gay, but damn that guy Samus has an ass!"

Samus took off the top of her suit.

"Dude, that guy has boobs!"

Samus took off her helmet.

"DUDE, omgwthisgononzoooooooorghhh-that man is a chick!!"

Ike blinks. "……………No way!"

"Why didn't anyone tell me?!"

"I didn't know."

"I think I'm in love."

"No way Marth, I got DIBS."

"Like hell!"

They both wrestle on the floor while Roy grumbles angrily, "You both are so mature."

Pikachu frowned at Master Hand. "Pikaa?"

"Um……...er….….yes?....uh…………….wha?"

"Pikaaaaa-Where's the effin liquor???!"

"Eeeek! Itsh in tha lounge!"

"Pika, pi."

A blond haired elf walks through the door, only to have his eyes bulge out of his head at the sight of his loved princess. "Z-z-z-z-z-ZELDA?"

"Damn!" Marth and Ike screamed noticing the elf girl's short short dress.

Zelda turned pink. "H-he made me wear it."

"I got dibs on her too." Ike claimed.

"You can't have them both!"

"Says who? I could defiantly get laid twice tonight."

"Cheater."

"NO ONE TOUCHES HER!" Link pulled out his sword, chasing Marth and Ike.

"No weaponz!" Master Hand whined. Behind him he heard the front door-

*CRASH!*

Music flodded the room:

I love it when you call me Big Papa!

Throw yo' hands in the air, if yous a true playa

I love it when when you call me-

" BIG PAPA!" Bowser the Koopa King bellowed in his over sized sunglasses and gold chains.

" Cuz I see some ladies tonight that should be havin' my bay-bays!" Ganondorf danced next to him. "Damn, Zelda!"

"S-stop saying that to me!"

"Raaaaaaaaagh!!! Link charged after Ganandorf.

"Shit!"

"She's a minor you PERV!!"

"I didn't touch her!"

Master Hand turned to Bowser. "Pweash turn off tha music and fix the front door."

"Ha yea right. There's a box for ya outside, Square."

"Aww for me? Itsh MAAAAIIIL TIIIIIIIIIIME!"

All the Smashers gather around the box in triumphant union and freakishly wide grins:

" Here's the mail

It never fails

It makes me wanna wag my tail!

When it comes

I wanna wail

MAAAAAAAAIL!!!"

"……GAY! GRAHAHA." Bowser cackles in the corner. The other Smashers went back to what they were doing like nothing ever happened. Master Hand giddily picked up the large box.

"So, what ish in this box, I wonder."

"Hya!" The box screamed and jumped in the air. Part of the package tore apart to reveal a blue spiked hedgehog. "Geez Snake, I told you traveling by box was stupid!"

"But I used FedEx." The man known as Snake jumped out the opposite end of the box.

"You two ish tha last ones. Welcomez."

"Aww man, you made me loose another race!" Sonic sped inside.

"Seriously is that all you care about? You need a LIFE."

Wolf shook his wet fur. "Alright Hand, I played my part. Now let me inside."

"Nopesh! Yous still have a job. Byeeeeee!"

"SON OF A-"

*SLAM!*

With the door tightly shut, Master Hand announced that the party had officially begun.


Sneaky Kitty: That folks concludes Chapter One! What will happen next? Where is Crazy Hand during his own party? Why is Wolf chained outside? SO when do people get murdered and who's the first victim???! Mwahahaha!!!...Ahem. All that and more in the next chapter where the party begins!

This is the first fanfic I've written in 2 years, and the first one I've ever published, so sorry if its not the best. Reviews (nice or not) would be appreciated. =D

Songs:

"Best Day Ever" lyrics from Spongebob Squarepants

"Big Papa" lyrics by Biggie Smalls

"Poke'Mon Opening Theme" lyrics from Poke'mon

"Mail Time" lyrics from Blues Clues