Spoilers for episode 2x10: One Wrong Move. { Season 2 episode 10 }
This is my first Flashpoint fanfic, so pleas excuse if they seem a bit OOC. I find that Sam and Spike can relate in many ways at the end of this episode. Sam couldn't save Matt who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and Spike couldn't save Lou, who was in the same situation.
Sam and Spike whump.
Enjoy! c:
"How do you do it Sam?"
Sam turned his head towards the voice. He was sitting on the bench just before his locker; his mind still racing from the day's events. His eyes met the questioner, and they softened immediately.
Spike stood in the doorway, eyes red, voice hoarse; broken, as he walked to Sam and sat down next to the ex-soldier. "How did you survive without your best friend?"
Sam knows very well that he is referring to Matt; his best friend who he has shot down during target practice. He still remembers the shock of finding his body, the pain that followed. He knew Spike was feeling the same. He knew Spike felt like it was his fault his best friend had died.
"I didn't think I would," Sam answered, voice soft, quiet, pained. "I really didn't think I would," he mused, eyes pain stricken.
"But you did Sam," Spike pointed out, his voice even quieter than Sam's. "You did, and I've been sitting here trying to figure out how you did it and how I can do it and I can't. Please Sam.. how did you do it?" Spike begged, his voice breaking at some points; his eyes pleading, desperate.
"I did some things I regret," Sam answered, a tremor passing through his body. "I wanted to die, Spike. I tried..," he said, breaking off, "I tried to kill myself," he finished, his hands clenching into fists. Spike stared at him in surprise. Spike had felt the same way since the incident earlier, but he had never imagined Sam feeling it, and trying to take action.
"A soldier.. one of my other friends found me and stopped me," Sam said, "He convinced me it wasn't my fault," he added, turning his head to looked at Spike. Sam knew Spike wanted to die, he knew he blamed himself. "He told me that Matt was in the wrong place at the wrong time," he said, "That I couldn't have prevented it and that I couldn't have prevented it," he murmured. "I tried to argue but he cut me off and told me that it was done, it was over. He told me Matt wouldn't want me to kill myself, he'd want me to fight, to save lives. He told me that I had to live for the friend I had lost and that I had to carry on with all of the bravery and courage in their soul; I had to live for them, save for them," he breathed, his face studying Spike's. "..And Spike, that's exactly what you have to do for Lou."
Sam held the crumpled officer in his arms as he broke down, and Sam felt the hot tears escaping from his eyes. "I'll help you buddy, I promise," he whispered, and Spike couldn't help but smile. He wanted to live, he wanted to save. He wanted to protect.
He wanted to, for him.
