Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls. I'm a freshman in high school, I'm broke . . . hell, I don't even own this computer. Suing me is pointless unless you want my cell phone that I dropped in the toilet.

I don't hate him. I wish I did. I wish I could dream of slicing his throat and kicking his knees and making him bleed and tricking him into thinking I care.

But I can't do it.

Instead, I dream of kissing him once more and making him fall for me and dropping everything for him, even if no one believed it would work . . . even thought I know it would never work.

He almost hurt me.

He did hurt me, but he made up for it. Though I act as though his return makes me angry, I love that he came back. I love that I get to see him everyday, even if he is with her. I don't care anymore. It's still him and his books and his eyes and his smirk and . . . I just can't help but love the way he puts it all together.

He's amazing

And it disgusts me and enchants me. It makes me want to laugh and cry. It makes me wish things were better and want to make things worse. It makes me want to run away and never let go . . . all of it at the same time. But instead, I sit here. I think of him and what I should do about all the things running around in my head.

I never do anything.

I need to grow a backbone, and I'm reminded of this every time I see him avoid my eyes.

Maybe I should drink more milk.

A/N: Thanks for the feedback on Slap, all who reviewed. I put a little more thought into that than this one. I was reeeally bored one day, and this is what I got. It's pretty, uh . . . lame, to put it in just one 'this-sucks-major-ass' kind of word. Anyways, more reviews would be fab. Or some comments about my writing, even . . . I like to know if my writing itself really sucks, or just my ideas. Thanks, everyone.