I do not own DBZ, and this story is obviously non-canon. Enjoy. -

Chapter 1

Today in the exciting world of DBZ, Hercule has awoken from his peaceful slumber for another God-giving day of worship...of him. (Who else would it be...Almighty God, pleease.)

"Ahahaha, today is another glorious day as this world is blessed with a courageous hero like myself, Hercule!" Hercule laughed as he look into the mirror. He admired his homely (who am I kidding) his ugly reflection .

Amazingly Hercule had glanced away from the mirror and took it out of his way to look at his watch that gives no reflection. It seemed that in five hours he would have to take his eleven year old daughter Videl to school. Videl's school started a 8:15. Now if you're were thinking then you would notice that there is something a little bit off. Well you see, Hercule wakes up at 3:00 every morning. "Why would he do that?" you asked. Well I will tell you. For you see, Hercule is on his latest project, his body. Even though Hercule is incredibly strong, he lacks flexiblity, especially in his spine. He wants his spine to have such great flexiblity that he would be able to literally kiss his own ass. At this point your probably thinking this is outrageous, but I must assure you, he is ever, ever, ever so serious.

Hours pass and Hercule continue to practice kissing is own ass. Eventually he takes his daugther to school.

At about ten o' clock the ritual of worship beginned. Hercules closest follower arrived at his mansion.

"Oh, my great Hercule, may I ask you a question?" asked one of his followers.

"Yes, you may." Hercule said proudly.

"So, uh, when are we, uh, having that orgy?"

"Herculedammit, David, we're not going to have an orgy...today."

"How about just with me?"

"No."

"Pleaaase."

"No."

"Pleaaaaaase"

"No!"

"Pleaaaaaase."

"NO!"

"You can be the top." David singsong.

"Well, maybe, uh..mmmm.. No! No! No!"

(DBZ theme song playing)

Next time on Dragon Ball Z, there is uproar on planet Earth. There are rumors that the The Great Hercule is being sued for fracturing the pelvis of a young man named David Bottomlit. Could this ruin the reputation of our hero Hercule. Find out on the next episode of DRAGON BAAALL Z.

(DBZ theme song playing)