I was inspired by BardsAmbrosia's 'Track Suit Guy' story to write a Barry centered collection of oneshots since there isn't a lot of stories or any really for that matter, it helps that I've found that I have a lot of sympathy for Barry. I've re-watched Archer a lot of times and while I get that weren't supposed to root for Barry I still can't help but to feel bad for him. Honestly if you look at it being turned into a cyborg is what really pushed him over the edge, not that I'm saying he was a nice person before because he wasn't but if you consider all he went through it's hard not to feel a little bad for him. For this I've decided to explore different oneshot alternative realities with Barry as the main focus and an oc as his love interest. Some of these will have Barry as human, as a cyborg or whatever else I can think of. For this first oneshot we'll explore what would happen if Barry never went on that mission to recuse Archer in Russia.
I own nothing but the plot
Credit to CherryBerryultimatemixsmoothie for coming up with the oc's name and appearance!
Nadia pov
It's a normal day for Nadia who was currently doing research inside of the ODIN's gadgets testing facility. Right now she was working on a new watch gadget that would be able to camouflage any agent into whatever they needed to hide as while out on the field. This would be a huge breakthrough for her spy agency because if this new gadget works the way she hopes it could usher in a new advanced age for the world of espionage. The watch itself should hopefully disguise the field agent as anything they would need to be a wall, an enemy agent, anything! This one gadget was going to really put Nadia's name on the map!
Not that Dr. Nadia Lalonde wasn't a well known name before! She has been a genius for practically her whole life and with a love for science and technology it was any wonder that so many different spy agencies wanted her to work for them. Lucky for ODIN though her best friend Barry Dylan convinced her to work for them when he first got a job offer there as a field agent all those years ago. They have been best friends since they were kids and Nadia was probably the only steady person Barry has ever had in his life. Between being orphaned since he was a baby and being moved around from foster home to foster home it wasn't a surprise that Barry had clung to her. Not that she minded because Nadia is his best friend and she love him.
That's why she went to work for ODIN even though the CIA was offering her more pay and freedom at the time. Nadia could still remember being all set to say yes to the CIA when Barry rushed into her apartment in excitement telling her how he got the job at ODIN and for her to please please work for ODIN as well because he couldn't move to France without her. And Nadia said yes without thinking about it because again Barry is her best friend and she love him and she hoped that maybe just maybe when they moved to France Barry would realize that he loves her as more than a friend too! The headquarters was in Paris after all the city of love had to be good for something right? So she move and it was great because even though Nadia didn't have as much freedom and pay as she would have somewhere else she had Barry and that was enough. He uses her gadgets while out on the field even the ones Nadia was not sure about just yet and in doing so he pushes both of their careers forward. So now Barry is ODIN's best agent and Len Trexler's right hand man and Dr. Nadia Lalonde was the head scientist for ODIN they were both right where they want to be career wise.
"Heeeey Nady!" Barry's voice breaks her concentration.
"Barry! How many times do I have to tell you not to interrupt me when I'm working on a new project?!" Nadia yelled glaring at him.
"Oh come on Nadia you're always working on some project." Barry says in a dismissive tone mindlessly going through her notes. "I swear you'd have no life if it wasn't for the Barry."
"And what does the Barry want?" Nadia asked turning back to the watch.
"I'm going to need some of your top gadgets for a mission Nady." Barry states much to her surprise.
"Really? Last time I checked you weren't assigned any new mission." Nadia stated looking away from the watch she walked over to a chart that has a list of agents that reported to her if they needed any gadgets or weapons. She was pretty sure that Barry didn't have any missions because she always made sure to save the best ones for him.
"Well I didn't until Malory Archer hired me to pick up her shitbag son who's been detained at Vyborg." Barry explained much to Nadia's annoyance. If there was one thing she hated hearing about it was that idiot Sterling Archer. Even before Barry's accident he was so fucking annoying dropping Barry onto a car in Berlin made Nadia outright hate Archer and anything to do with him.
"And you're taking the job because?" Nadia asked in a cold voice her usually warm honey brown eyes got colder as well.
"Well for the quarter mil to start with." Barry states in an arrogant tone. "Plus Lana promise to have sex with me so everything is coming up Barry nice."
"Well that's great expect for the fact that every time you have anything to do with Archer it always ends up blowing up in your face?" Nadia stated staring him down.
"Well not all the-" Barry starts to say but Nadia interrupt him.
"You tried to hire Lana here but you ended up catching him fucking Framboise's ass in his new office and if that wasn't enough he shot you in the arm that day too!" Nadia remind him.
"Yeah but you said you didn't even like Framboise so-" Barry tries to argue.
"And even still on the same day you got in trouble for the Burn Notice being changed into an ODIN Blackflag operation! When it was those dickhole ISIS's agents fault." She continue on still very much upset. "Not to mention when you went over there with Trexler to buy that stupid agency not only did it not go through but you and I both know that Len isn't the same anymore!"
"He is really attached to that rabbit." Barry says sheepishly. "Like overly attached."
"And do I need to even mention Berlin." She finish evenly crossing her arms over her lab coat. "Because I remember being scared out of my mind that you wouldn't walk ever again." Nadia still remembered when she got that awful news, she'd stayed by his side for weeks, Nadia cried when the doctors told him that he might not be able to be a field agent anymore. After everything that shithole Archer has done to Barry, she didn't understand why did Barry has to go risk his life to save him?
"Look Nadia I've already said yes." Barry told her sternly. "And it's not like that place has anyone else to go after him."
"And that's their own fault!" She almost yelled at him getting more and more upset her brown skin was even starting to look a bit red. "Let those Archers' finally burn on their shitty cross! Why do you have to get hurt because his mother refuses to see how much of a liability Archer is?"
"Hey I get that you're worried Nady-" Barry puts a hand on her shoulder to try to reassure her but she pulls back away from him.
"I'm not just worried Barry I'm mad!" Nadia tells him poking him in the chest. "You're going out there to risk your life for that child! Even when you get to him I'll bet he'll find some way to sabotage his own rescue!"
"I'm sure he wouldn't be that stupid." Barry tries to reassure her again he tries to pull her into a hug but she moves out of the way. "Oh come on Nadia don't be mad! I promise that when I get back other Barry and I will take you to see that movie you've been dying to see." Barry is trying to butter her up but this time it's not going to work.
"No Barry." Nadia says in an even tone trying to sound as strong as possible. "If you go on this mission then…then I'm done with you."
"What?" Barry asked completely shocked shaking his head in disbelief. "No Nady you can't be serious? I mean I know you don't actually mean that!"
"I do mean it Barry." Nadia continues on in a strong tone. "I'm not going to sit back and watch something worse happen to you because of that dickhead. Let him finally be responsible for his own stupid actions for once."
"But I have to do this Nadia I already promised I would." Barry tries to reason with her again.
"And what is Malory going to do? Come after you because she has a stupid rouge agent?" She proclaimed. "I know you Barry and this isn't about the money or even Lana Kane. It's about you wanting the chance to hold something over Archer's head, you want him to know that the person he loves is screwing you because of his own stupidity because you were hired to save him."
"Look we can talk about this more later when I get back." Barry just says with a sigh. "Can I please just get some gadgets and-"
"You are free to proceed to ODIN'S Gadget and Weaponry Department to pick up your gadgets there I'm sure Madeline will be more than happy to help you Agent Dylan." Nadia says in a cold tone turning back to her work.
"Come on Nady are we really going to start acting like this?" Barry asked rolling his eyes at her not that she could see it. "Really Nadia?" He asked in frustration after she didn't answer him for a couple of minutes. "You can't ignore me forever Lalonde!" He's getting more upset by the second. "Fine Dr. Nadia Lalonde be that way you know how to reach me when you're ready to apologize!" Barry storms out of her lab and the minute he's gone she breaks down into tears she has never fought like that with her best friend before.
Barry pov
Barry was in a foil mood as he marched over to ODIN'S Gadget and Weaponry Department it was a place he hardly ever went to unless he absolutely needed too. He didn't understand what Nadia's problem was it wasn't like her to ever flip out on him like that. "Is Nadia being unreasonable Barry? Yes she is other Barry yes she is."
"Hey Maddie I'm going to need some things for a mission." Barry tells the woman working behind the counter.
"And you're coming here for them?" Madeline asked in a thick French accent, everyone knew that Barry always went straight to Nadia whenever he needed something for missions. Sure half the things in there were invented by Dr. Nadia Lalonde in the first place but he always went to her no matter what.
"Yes well Dr. Lalonde is busy working on a project right now." Barry tries to explain to the French woman.
"Oh I understand she is mad at you." Madeline states nodding her head in understanding.
"She's not mad!" Barry shouts defensively. "She is just very concern about my mission to go rescue Archer in Vyborg. She'd rather that I not go."
"Yes I see now." Madeline states nodding her head. "Dr. Lalonde loves you so much she could not stand it if you were hurt again because of Mister Archer. It was so painful for her when you broke your leg she cried for weeks."
"Right." Barry says he's brought back to that painful time in his life and the continuous reminder of it every time it rained and he thought about Archer.
"To ask someone who truly loves you to stand aside while you could possibly get hurt is cruel no?" Madeline states after she gather up his supplies. "Yes if I were Dr. Lalonde I would not be able to take it either. Is it really worth it to lose your lover because Mister Archer?"
"Oh Nadia and I aren't lovers." Barry tells Madeline. "We're just best friends."
"Oh?" Madeline questions in a surprised tone. "Sorry I was so sure you'd be together by now it is so obvious that you two love each other very much."
"Yes we've been friends for a long time of course we love each other as friends." Barry insist.
"If you say so Mister Dylan." Madeline says with a shrug while handing him a bag with supplies. "You are all set for your mission now."
"Thanks Maddie." Barry says taking the bag and walking away from Madeline and her knowing look. Barry was just about to head back to his office when ran into Len Trexler.
"Barry is that you coming from the Gadget's and Weaponry Department does Nadia know you're cheating on her?" Len asked in an amused tone.
"Yeah well she should know since she's the one that sent me and other Barry there." Barry states in an annoyed tone.
"In the dog house hey Barry? Been there!" Len says with a laugh. "Just maybe get Nadia some flowers or something she loves ya way too much to stay mad at you for long." Len states before going on his way. "Ah to be so young and in love again." Len is gone before Barry could correct him and state that he and Nadia were just friends.
"Is everyone seeing more than they should Barry? Why yes they are other Barry yes they are." Barry states to himself as he walks over to his office he would need to pick up a few more things before he headed to Vyborg.
As annoying as it could be to always have to correct everyone around him about the nature of his relationship with Nadia he could understand were the confusion came from. The two have always been very close for a long time he was the only one allowed to call her Nady. Hell he was sure that he wouldn't have been able to make the move from the States to France without Nadia. She was the only person who he has always known was going to be there for him which was why he pushed his feelings aside for Nadia in order to not lose the strong friendship between them. He had his weak moments of course when Nadia went out on dates he forced himself not to be jealous. When he and Nadia would spend time alone together he'd take care not to look into Nadia's deep honey brown eyes when they were sitting close together.
Okay so both Barrys' knew that he loved Nadia as more than a friend, he had known that for a long time but he was too afraid to say anything about it. It seemed selfish to want more when they already had a good friendship. Nadia knew him better than anyone was always there when he needed expect for today of course today was the first time in a long time that the two friends had ever been in a real fight. All because Nadia didn't want him to go. He couldn't blame her reasoning after all it was true that bad stuff ended up happening to him whenever he got involved with the Archers' in some way. If Malory hadn't asked for his help he'd probably be spending the rest of his day finishing up paper work and calling Nadia every five minutes to argue over which take out place they would order from. At the end they'd settle for that restaurant that knew their order by heart and then they walk over to Nadia's place because her apartment was closer and spend the rest of the night eating and watching whatever nonsense thing was on TV.
The more Barry thought about what he could be doing instead of planning to rescue that good for nothing Sterling Archer the more he realized that he really didn't want to go.
"Hey Grant?" Barry asked speaking into his phone at the office. "Could you pick up a supply bag at my office and bring it over to Agent Jackson. Yeah I know it's a last minute mission but he'll be paid handsomely enough for his services. Oh and when you're done with that order some white roses with red tips from the local shop don't worry I'll pick them up myself." After that Barry hangs up the phone a plan forming in his head. "Is it finally time to get serious Barry? Why yes it is other Barry yes it is."
Nadia pov
After a long day of work all Nadia wanted to do was get home so that she could relax, work was always stressful but getting into a fight with her best friend was the worst part of her day and all she wanted to do was relax. Nadia unlocked the door to her apartment and walked inside only to quickly realize that she wasn't alone in the apartment. Nadia pulled out her gun that Barry gifted to her for her birthday and walked slowly further into the apartment. She wasn't be any means a field agent but with the work and research she has achieved in her years as a scientist meant that it wouldn't be unlikely that someone wouldn't try to come after her.
Oddly enough Nadia hears movement coming from the kitchen and she slowly makes her way over there. She thought it was an odd place for an intruder to go but maybe the person thought she'd hid something important in there. Nadia got to the kitchen to see the back of a man's head standing in front of one of her cabinets.
"Freeze!" Nadia yells after she got behind the person her gun digging into the man's back.
"Whoa Nady I know that you were mad but you don't have to take it that seriously." Barry says with a chuckle while holding his hands up.
"Barry?!" She questions in shock as her friend turns around with an amused smirk on his face. "What the hell you ass? I could have shot you?!"
"Well that wasn't exactly the warm welcome I thought I'd be getting." Barry says in his still amused smug tone as Nadia puts her gun down. "How could you not know it was me Nady I mean who else has a key to your apartment?"
"Idiot! I thought you had gone on your stupid rescue Archer mission." Nadia says glaring at him. "Not that I was looking forward to you being even more of an asshole then you already are when you got back."
"And what is that supposed to mean?" Barry asked with an offended look on his face.
"Well let's see on a scale of one to ten the level of assholeness of regular Barry Dylan is like a six maybe a seven when it's raining." She begins to explain. "But when you add in anything Archer the level goes straight up to twenty!"
"Wow that is a high number." Barry says sarcastically.
"It really is." Nadia says with a shrug she walks over to her refrigerator to get a bottle of water.
"How do you stand to be around me than?" Barry asked slyly.
"I love you for some reason." Nadia admits after she'd taken a sip of water.
"You really do don't you?" Barry states and suddenly Nadia realize how closely he was standing next to her. She sees this look in his green eyes that she has never seen before at least it was never directed at her.
"What are you doing here?" Nadia finally dared to ask, Barry just smiles and puts a hand under her chin bringing her face close to his.
"I got a new last minute mission." Barry says before pulling her in for a deep kiss.
Nadia is shocked at first not prepared for something like this to happen especially after the fight the two had earlier that day but eventually she kissed him back. Now that she was kissing him back Barry pulls her in closer to himself the kiss gets deeper as their tongues start to wrestle each others. It's only when they both in dire need of oxygen that the two pulled away from the kiss.
"Whoa." Nadia say breathlessly her heart was beating pretty fast right now.
"I know this is a way better mission." Barry states his chin resting on the top of her head. "Hey Nady? I know we've just had our first real kiss just now… but since we've known each other for years would it be rushing it if we-"
"Took this to the bedroom?" Nadia finish his sentence for him.
"Unless you want to do this on the kitchen table?" Barry said with a sly smirk fondling her behind. "Which other Barry and I wouldn't actually mind doing."
"Bedroom is fine." Nadia says rolling her eyes at him.
"Well we can always do it on the table later." Barry says confidently and before she could argue with him any further about the table he pulls her into another kiss.
With Barry guiding the way the two of them make it to her bedroom, the two are still lip locked as they start to pull each other's clothes off. It's when Nadia's back hits the bed that the two pull away from the kiss again she take a moment to breathe as Barry moves on to kissing her neck and fondling her chest.
"You sure are in a groping mood tonight." Nadia comments as he unbuttons her dark red blouse he pulls it off of her before throwing it over his shoulder.
"Hey I've been wanting to do this for years." Barry replies back now taking off her black bra. "And the Barry is going to enjoy every minute of this." Barry then squeezes her chest with both hands causing her to moan.
"Barry." Nadia groans as he puts one of her nipples into his mouth while continuing to grope the other.
Barry continued his fondling for a while switching from one side to the other and grinding his erection into her mound. Feeling like she wasn't adding anything to the experience Nadia started to rub his manhood that was still trapped in his pants. Barry groan and started thrusting into her hand until it became too painful for him to keep his pants on. He steps away from Nadia long enough to take off his pants and boxers before coming right back on the bed to take off the rest of her clothes.
"Oh Nadia, I am going to fuck you so good." Barry states confidently from above her. "But first let's get you warmed up." She doesn't have time to question what he means by that before he starts pumping one of his fingers inside of her pussy. "That's it going to make you nice and wet for the Barry."
"Barry!" Nadia moans loudly as he added another finger to join the first one.
"Don't lose your voice just yet Nady, we haven't even gotten to the main event." Barry states in a teasing almost mocking tone, she can hear it even in her pleasured hazed mind so she decided to get even with him. "Shit Nadia!" Barry moans just as loudly as she did when she gripped his cock in her hand and began to pump up and down.
"Look who's about to lose his voice now?" Nadia says in between moans as she continues to jack him off.
"Okay babe you want to play then let's play." Barry says in a determined tone which confused her until he added a third finger and started pumping into her pussy faster. "First one to cums loses. Not that it will be much longer for you." He explains in a cocky manner, he probably thinks that because he started pumping Nadia first she'd crack first.
"That's what you think." Nadia says before taking his cock into her mouth much to both his pleasure and annoyance. Barry was a sucker for blow jobs he couldn't last more than two minutes whenever he got one, she'd found this out when he was still dating Framboise and she thought it was okay to share that type of info about her best friend. It was annoying for Nadia to hear at the time but now it would be her strategy to win.
"Ah Nady…mmm maybe we can call this aaaa-" Barry stutters out while moaning, she knew he was starting to lose it to the point where he would get so lost in pleasure that he would forget to keep pumping his fingers. "Let's call it a drawn!" Barry finally manages to say.
"What's wrong Barry I thought you wanted to play?" Nadia asked with a smirk as she continued to pump him with her hand. "Are telling me you can't handle it?" She asked before taking him back into her mouth.
"I can…I can…NOT!" Barry shouts before pulling her back up, she has no time to gloat before he wraps her legs around his waist and thrust his cock deep inside of her pussy. "Couldn't take it anymore Nady, I need you right now." He starts pumping slowly really wanting to savor the moment. "Yeah this was a way better use of my time."
"Image if you were there? You'd probably be regretting going to save that asshole by now because he somehow blow your cover." Nadia tells him as she moved her hips to match his speed.
"We'd have to run for our lives through the streets of Moscow." Barry states as he kept pumping. "He'd have found some way to screw me over too. Well not tonight the only one who's being screwed over is you…and I guess still Barry but in a good way." Barry started to pick up speed now gripping a hold of her hips as he thrusts even faster. "Oh Nady you feel sooo good!"
"Barry…jesus…FUCK!" Nadia shout gripping his back tightly.
"Damn Nadia you're so tight!" Barry moaned thrusting even deeper. "Shit I waited too long to do this."
"Barry please faster!" She groans out and he picks up speed.
"So good, sooo damn gooood!" Barry grunts as he kept thrusting in deeper and deeper.
"Barry….BARRY!" Nadia scream as she worked her hips to keep up with Barry she gripped his back even tighter as impossible as it may seem.
"Shit Nadia I'm close!" Barry admits through grit teeth he started going full throttle with his pumping now.
"BARRY!" Nadia cried out as the pressure became too much for her and she came.
"NADY!" Barry calls out meeting his end not long after, he takes a moment to catch his breath before moving to lay next to her. "I love you Nadia and Barry isn't just saying that because of the sex. Though I can't lie it does help."
"That's good to hear." She says with a content sigh. "Though I figured you did since you're here instead of on some crazy rescue mission."
"Yeah well like I said this mission was more important." Barry says in a smug tone. "I did still send Agent Jackson over there to get the shitbag anyway. Hopefully Archer doesn't mess it up and gets Jackson hurt and turned into…I don't know a criminally insane cyborg by the KGB."
"A cyborg?" Nadia asked laughing at the very idea. "Could you come up with a more bizarre idea?"
"You never know it could happen." Barry says with a shrug then turns a bit to look at her. "If it ever happened to me you'd still love me right?"
"Barry Dylan the KGB cyborg?" Nadia says shaking her head at the idea. "I guess I would still love you…luckily that's not a reality I need to worry about."
"Of course not someone would have to be insane to think that creating a cyborg is a good idea." Barry states with a chuckle. "Anyway how about we go do it on the kitchen table now?"
A/N Well that's the end of that oneshot! I hope whoever read it enjoyed it. This was a reader story but I had to take it down. I still hoped I did okay with it also with keeping Barry in character and I hope people can enjoy this oc. Anyway I'm open to suggestions if anyone is interested in suggesting a story idea or even continuing this current storyline.
