Hello people! this story I posted first on adult ff dot net and I thought of trying it out here. Some scenes will be edited out for some obvious lemony purposes but anyone who wants to see the unedited version can visit me at adultfanfiction, my penname there is Scarlett-sama . This my first proper, long (ish) Rin and Sesshoumaru story and I really tried hard to keep Rin in character, even though it's a little difficult because she's an adult here, but anyway…

I was inspired to write this last October after hearing it was Breast Cancer Awareness month, imagining how it must be like for those poor women to lose what signifies for them femininity, it's a terrible thing. Anyway, this chapter will be rather short because I like to 'test' my stories out on the sites, waiting to see what responses I get from people before really getting into it. (something I learnt from my my good friend who's also on the site: Kyuuketsuki-san)

Most of this story will be in Rin's point of view but some parts will be written in the third person to describe things when Rin isn't there. But that's in future chapters.

Enjoy!

IiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIi……

A Lump

IiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIi……

Hi. My name's Rin, my surname doesn't really matter but I'll say it anyway, it's Ayase. That's me, Rin Ayase. The only thing I can say about myself is that I'm a normal person, one of those that you pass by on the street and not notice. But I don't want to bore you with my life story because honestly, it's not award-winning biography material, and believe me, I think I'll fall asleep myself if I had to tell it. Drool and all. Heh, see that? How I make fun of myself? I do that a lot, it makes things less embarrassing when I tell them and Kami knows how many awkward situations I've been through.

I'm a pretty positive person though, and I always have been, ever since I was eight years old and my parents and brother were killed in a car accident as they drove to attend a school play I was acting in. I know what you're thinking, how the hell can anyone stay positive after that catastrophe? Well, it wasn't easy. I was only eight then and months passed as I huddled in corners and refused to speak to anyone. So one day I thought; hey, even though my family's gone, I'm still here. They must have cared about me a lot to rush to see my play, so why can't I repay them?

Like Shakespeare said 'All the world's a stage', so that must mean that life is just a play, isn't it? I think I'll keep on acting, just for them. I suppose you noticed the Shakespeare part, am I right? I love reading, and I'll devour any good book I can get my hands on and I won't put it down until I'm through. My aunt used to nag to me a lot about that and she would make me pause in my reading occasionally so that I could do more important things like eat and sleep. When my family passed away, I lived with my aunt Kumiko until I was old enough to move out. Don't get the wrong idea about her because of the 'nag' part, she's a great person really, an incredible source of inspiration. She's a strong woman and she knew how to raise me, being not too strict or too lenient when it came to handling me during my teenage years. She fussed over me a lot though, up to the point where it almost got annoying but I didn't mind, she's the only family I have and I'm grateful to her.

So where was I? Oh right. So I've been a positive person since I was born and that's really helped me survive. I can't even remember all the times I've embarrassed myself (in public especially), mostly during my awkward teenage years when I seemed to be the floor's wife wherever I went. Always tripping up and toppling over in front of people who would think it absolutely hilarious and say 'Oh look, what a surprise, Rin's on the ground.' I made it a rule to always laugh with them despite my embarrassment and it helped the situation become less humiliating should a time come when I were to look back on it.

I don't have many friends. When I was in school, kids thought that if something bad happened to your family it would somehow make you contagious, so they usually stayed away from me. I learnt to become accustomed to it though, and like they say; it's better to be alone than in bad company. See? The glass is always half full in my world.

My awkwardness as a teenager seemed to scare people away so naturally I went around in a group of one, and when I grew out of this up-and-down period of my life people gradually approached me. I have two good friends now, the kind of girls that offer advice unasked and force you to put down the book you're reading so that they can take you to a brilliant new night club. Reika-chan and Yue-chan, I don't know what I would do without them. They've helped me through quite a few rough patches of my life, when even my optimism wasn't enough to pull me through. I've always had my fair share of unfortunate events, I think more than an average person has but whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? Jeez, I have to stop with these sayings or I'll drive people crazy.

So…uh…what…? Oh yes. Like I said before, my life isn't all that interesting or enlightening. I'm twenty two and in the advertising business. How I got the job, I have absolutely no idea, as soon as I graduated from university I applied for a position at a company called 'Sekai Incorporated'. I dressed myself very carefully for my interview, a freshly ironed white blouse and a neatly pressed navy skirt, my hair pulled back into what I hoped was a sophisticated bun and I showed up clutching my portfolio. Yes, I draw too. After half an hour of answering the personnel manager's probing questions he finally told me that he was willing to accept me. He also said that he liked my charisma. I was so unbelievably happy! It was one good thing that stood out against the dull hardship of my life. I almost hugged him on the way out but it wouldn't have looked very professional, so I didn't.

My 'office' (more like a cubicle surrounded by thin, detachable walls) is on the fifth floor and that is where I met my friends Reika and Yue. They were the ones to welcome me and show me around and point out all of the attractive male co-workers from other departments. Both their boyfriends work in the same building but on the second floor in Management. Believe it or not, I am single and to Reika-chan and Yue-chan it's something of a black cloud hanging over my head, that's why they're forever trying to hook me up with every good looking guy they meet because they can't stand me being alone and partner-less. I don't really mind their matchmaking endeavours as long as they don't go too far and actually try to make me go out on a date with someone. I enjoy my freedom but yes, it does get a bit lonely on some days but I try not to dwell too much on it otherwise I won't be able to produce good work.

I don't want to be disgustingly boastful or anything but I have a reputation for my high-quality prints and ideas, and many of my co-workers refer their own clients to me meaning a lot more work to get done but more recognition and pay. I don't complain though, I chat to my clients and ask them what they have in mind and so forth, and they tell me how pleased they are with my attitude and disposition and how I'm so easy to talk to.

A lot of people say that I talk a lot and I think it's true…no wait, I know it's true, I mean, listen to me now! I'm going on and on and not arriving at my main destination.

All the things that have happened to me; my parents and brother dying, my lack of friends in the past, all the negative things that usually make people break down and cry, it happens because it's been planned. This isn't me saying it, my aunt told me that everyone has a destiny, a path that's leads on in a straight line and it's impossible to stray from it because there's a wall on each side, you can't do anything except walk that path and wait till you reach the end. She believes that some people's paths are considerably shorter than others or a few simply walk faster to get to the end.

I disagree with the straightness and resoluteness of the path, I think that yes, there is a path that we walk but there aren't any walls, instead there are twists and turns and detours, landscapes that force you to stop a while and gaze at them. But that's just me.

I'm rambling on again, jeez, I never learn. This may be hard to believe but there have been times when I've become completely silent or been in a situation when my never ceasing chatter…ceases. But I'll get to that later; right now I'll start from the beginning. As if all of my troubles weren't enough, I had one more that brought my bright world crashing down to my feet and not even my optimism sufficed to reassure me that everything would be okay.

One day, I found a lump in my breast.

It happened on a Tuesday. I was arriving home from work, my arms laden with prints and designs that I had to finish before Friday. My left breast was hurting and it had been for a few days and it wasn't an ache or a twinge, it was more like a sharp pang or stab of pain. I had ignored it, believing it was my bra being to tight or that maybe I had slept in an unsuitable position. The thought of it being something serious never crossed my mind.

I entered my apartment and immediately dumped all my stuff on the cream coloured sofa. I plonked myself down on the part not littered with papers and prints and I kicked off my heels with a sigh. That's probably the only thing I dislike about work, its dress policy. We're forced to wear smart, presentable clothes everyday and I do see sense in this since it's extremely important to create a good first impression when meeting with a client. This is all very well but the policy takes its toll at the end of a long and tiring day.

I took out my long, dark hair from its bun (which had gotten messy anyway) and I shook my head lightly to free all of the twisted locks. I leaned my head against the couch and sighed, closing my eyes and resting for a while.

I felt another sharp prick of pain under my left breast, making me wince slightly. I sat up and reached down to adjust my bra for the millionth time, still thinking that was what was causing it but I was beginning to feel slightly worried. That's another of my problems, as soon as something is wrong with my body; I always assume the worst which is stupid seeing as I'm supposed to be an optimistic person, but my body is the only thing that has been through all my misfortunes with me and any problem with it concerns me. Sitting there on the couch, I began to recall those women on TV who recommended checking yourself regularly for any abnormalities, something I never found time to do, and I had OBVIOUSLY heard of breast cancer but like every other woman I was convinced such a thing wouldn't happen to me. But feeling the continuous pains in my left breast weren't doing anything to reassure me.

I stood up from the couch and went down the narrow corridor that led to my room. Kicking a shoe from the doorway, I entered and dropped to my knees before my desk, opening the large bottom drawer and rummaging through all the magazines I kept there. I'm not the kind of girl who purchases fashion magazines for the sake of flicking through them and merely admiring all the stuff I wish I could have, I only think that lots of them have great material that I can use as reference when I'm with a picky, indecisive client.

I pulled out a women's health magazine that was a couple of months old and I turned the pages, scanning them quickly until I found what I was searching for. I got to my feet slowly, reading the step by step guide of how to examine yourself properly and I moved to stand in front of the full length mirror I had on the wall. The mirror made my room seem larger than it was, not that the room itself was tiny or anything, I could fit a double-sized bed, a work desk and a small but comfortable armchair and still have space to lie full length on the floor. I love my room, I painted it myself, picking out the colours carefully; a beautiful lavender for the walls and delicate white floral patterns running horizontally along them. The curtains I chose were of a light material and of a blackberry colour, but not so dark. My room is so cool and fresh and it's a lovely place to relax and read a book or catch up on work, with the curtains fluttering in the breeze.

Putting the magazine on the bed but not so far away as to lose sight of the article, I took a step closer to the mirror and began unbuttoning my pale yellow blouse, removing it completely and letting it fall to the floor. I then reached behind my back and fumbled with the hooks on my bra, finally releasing them and tossing the item of clothing on the bed. I stared at my bare breasts in the mirror, trying to find anything unusual about them in their appearance, but I noticed nothing. I glanced at the next step in the article. Raising my hand, I very gently pressed my fingers against the underside of my right breast, prodding at it delicately to find a hard mass if there was one but all I could feel was soft flesh and the nervous pounding of my heart. I then lifted my arm the way it was explained in the magazine and continued to press against the flesh. A great wave of relief passed through me when I discovered nothing unusual and went on to repeat the process with my left breast, feeling, prodding and pressing. I raised my arm and my fingers moved along the underside and lingered at the soft fleshy area near my armpit. There. A lump. I felt my stomach jump to my throat as I applied more pressure to that same spot, wildly thinking that it could be something perfectly normal. But it wasn't, and it wasn't my imagination either, there was something hard in my left breast and it was scaring me. With my heart beating rapidly I changed into my low cut (but comfortable) jeans and a black blouse that fit my torso snugly. I rushed out into the corridor and grabbed the cordless phone that was charging on the little table I keep there for my keys and phonebooks. I immediately dialled my aunt's number and after a few rings, she answered.

"Hello?"

I tried to calm by breathing before I spoke to her, she was a worrier too and I didn't want her to panic if she noticed how scared my voice sounded. "Hi, aunt Kumiko, it's me, Rin."

"Oh, hello Rin! How's things? Is work alright?"

"Mmm…" I wanted to see her, and ask her what to do but not over the phone. "Can I come over?"

"What? Why? Is something wrong?"

Again, I didn't want to tell her over the phone. "I'll tell you when I get there, so can I?" I asked, and I think she might have noticed the agitation in my voice because she agreed straight away.

"Of course, of course! Come!"

I thanked her and told her I'd be there in ten minutes and I put down the phone. I practically ran to the front door, snatched my jacket from the hook, grabbed my black sports handbag and left the apartment.