Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, or any of their characters...you know the deal. I also don't own anything but the plot, at the moment.
Summary: It's loosely based on the promo pictures of Sean and Ellie at the Degrassi.tv site. I don't know why, but all of a sudden a burst of inspiration came to me. Hope ya'll enjoy, and leave some reviews. Be aware that I may not have the time to update very often, but I'll try when I can...
Numb
I'm tired of being
what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Sean bit down hard on a pencil as he waited (once again) outside Mr.Raditch's office. "Now what?" he thought to himself, "Emma probably wants Raditch to check my locker for her stupid stepdad's computer, too bad we got rid of that piece of cash last week." Every since Tracker got his new job, and he broke up with Emma things have seemed to have gone down hill. Looking around himself he seemed like it couldn't do anything right, for anyone. He couldn't be Mr.Let's-save-the world for Emma. He couldn't be the perfect little brother for Tracker, and he couldn't be the perfect student. Everyone was pushing and pulling him in a different direction, and he never seemed to be doing anything right for anyone. Sean's gaze floated out of the office and through the glass window that faced the guidance office's across the hall. He watched Ellie look as though she were about to burst into tears. Ellie Nash, the school's very own weirdo. Sean just watched as she walked into Ms. Suave's office, her arms covered by long sleeves and tight wrist warmers, she seemed to be wearing them alot lately.
"Sean, could you come into my office please?"
Sean turned his attention to the sound of Mr.Raditch's voice and rolled his eyes as he slid the pencil behind his ear and slung his book bag over his shoulder and followed the principal into his office.
" I can't help but notice you've fallen into the wrong crowd lately" Mr. Raditch muttered as Sean slipped into the chair facing the large oak desk. " You were doing well, staying out of trouble, I can't help but worry about you."
"What do you care?" he thought to himself. " So?" Sean shrugged.
" So, your grades are dropping, and you're tumbling back into the position you were in last year, it's very possible you could be held back again. Not only that but you are also one of those on the list of possible suspects responsible for the theft throughout the school."
" and?"
" and? Sean, stealing is a serious offense, you could be sent to the detention center, put on probation."
" I'm already on probation"
" Sean, this is serious, I suggest you pull your act together, and real soon." Mr.Raditch pulled out a detention slip and began to fill it out. " You have detention with me on Wednesday, and we can discuss you're part with your little gang and the missing school equipment."
Sean pressed his lips together in anger and stood up, snatching the detention slip from the principal's hand and walked out of the office, slamming the door behind him. He didn't even bother to look at the slip and just crumpled it up and tossed it in the garbage.
~*~^~*~
Ellie finished her meeting with Ms. Suave and walked out, feeling much better than when she had walked in. She had to admit, though she hated Paige for not minding her own business, she was glad. Talking seemed to help her cope with everything much better than continuing to harm herself could ever have. She regretted cutting herself from the beginning, but at the moment, it was the only thing that would give her a moment of release she needed. Sure it was a temporary fix, but that's what she needed, a temporary fix, and she got it. As a result scars were going to decorate her arm.
Ellie hung her head as she walked down the hall, watching her feet, as her boots clomped against the cold tile of Degrassi Community High School. She was so focused on just getting home she didn't even realize Sean was angrily leaving the main office, and ran straight into him, and went tumbling backwards. Sean looked down at the girl and pondered about whether to help her back up or just leave her there, her things scattered across the floor.
Ellie scurried to pick up her binder and shoveled loose paper into the pages and looked up to see Sean's hand open to help her stand. Ellie reached up and Sean grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet. Ellie cringed as Sean's tight, forceful grip pulled her two her feet and at the same time, gripped some of her fresh cuts. Ellie felt tears begin to form in her eyes as she realized those cuts were going to reopen with Sean's simple gesture to help her to her feet.
Sean tilted his head in curiousity as Ellie's eyes began to water. " Sorry about that...Ellie, isn't it?"
" Yea, it's ok" she said wiping away her tears before they could fall.
" I didn't hurt you did I ?" Sean asked gently grabbing her scar ridden arm.
" No!" Ellie exclaimed rather quickly and tried to pull her arm away.
Sean tightened his grip, " are you sure, here, let me take a look" and pushed her sleeves up and her wrist warmers down. His jaw fell open. Her arm was littered with cuts, new and old. Although she had been trying to stop, it wasn't as easy as she had hoped. Several cuts had begun to open and stung as they became exposed to the air.
Ellie pulled her arm away quickly and pulled the wrist warmers back up and the sleeves back down and tried to quickly mutter an excuse.
" stress?" Sean asked.
Ellie raised an eyebrow.
" stress?" Sean repeated.
Ellie bit her lip, " a lot of things." Ellie looked into his blue eyes. "Why isn't he freaking out? Why hasn't he called me a freak yet?"
" you okay?"
" somewhat" Ellie said still confused by his nonchalant reaction.
The two began to walk down the hall, towards the main entrance. Silence seemed to fall between the two of them and neither said a word until they reached the door. " You know..." Sean began.
Ellie turned her attention to Sean as he talked.
" I think it shows you're stronger than people think...you tryin' ta stop?"
Ellie swallowed, " yea..."
" that makes you even stronger, it's like an addiction, isn't it?"
Ellie nodded, and opened her mouth to speak.
" You'll be fine, Nash. You'll pull through" Sean said as they left the school and split up on the stairs, both going on their own ways.
A/N: so what do you guys think? If I should make changes let me know. I'll gladly take criticism, as long as it's constructive. Go ahead and flame me if you want, I don't care. But nice reviews are always welcome.
