Why is everything black ? Why has everything been black since I lost what I last had? What did I last have ? My humanity ? My brain ? Ugh, I'm hungry, so hungry. How does my brain taste ? Oh No , I'm starving again and again and again.

I remember when I wanted it all to end , the dark was too much. Too much of it. Way to much. I wanted to go back to the way everything used to be . No. That was wrong , but better than the darkness. However I did want to see Akira one more time. Ugh. No. That too was wrong . But I did want to see her again . But I'm a coward . A damn damn damn coward. And she was too good . Too good for a coward. What she wanted was Amon. What she needed was Amon. He's not a coward.

Oh Man , I can feel it again. My fingers are starting to seem so tasty all of a sudden. Mmmmh . I wonder when I last ate some of my fingers. They were so good. And so many of them . Ugh , hungry , hungry ,so hungry . They taste so good. It's a delight. I'm a delight! I can't see them but I can feel them . The darkness won't let me see my meal. But that's all right. They still taste pretty amazing. Even if it hurts. Even if it if it hurts.

I wasn't meant for the CCG. I'm a coward. Maybe I was meant for the darkness. Maybe the darkness too was hungry and wanted to eat. Maybe it wanted to eat me. I do taste amazing. But I don't want to share. I won't give myself to it. Only I can eat myself. Only I can eat.

How many times has it been? How many times did I smash my head against the floor ? How many times did I scream for help ? It doesn't matter. They sometimes give me some food. When I feel like dying. My throat hurts from all that screaming. My stomach hurts . It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. Make it stop .

The blood is so amazing. It never ends. You just cut your arm off and get plenty of it. It's delicious. But sometimes I faint. Maybe sometimes I even die, but who cares ,darkness is all the same. But it's so good. I wish I could bathe in blood. That souns fun. Fun. Fun. Fun.

I remember when mother used to cook spaghetti on Fridays. It tasted so good. I told her she cooked the best spaghetti in the world. That's a lie. My intestines taste better. So much better. Maybe I'm numer 1 at that. The best. No. Maybe Mado-san is better at eating her intestines. Ugh. I lost again.

A terrible deduction is trying to form itself in my thumping head , but I don't want aything to do with it. She laughed at me. Not only her. Amon. Juuzo. Everyone. They are laughing. Still lauhing. I want them to stop. But it's my fault. I'm number two. It's not the second best. It's but a sore loser. I'm nothing but a loser. Damn it. Maybe so , but that isn't the deduction. What would Mado-san say if she saw me now? I would scare her…I would scare her! Haha! Isn't that amazing?! She would run away at the mere sight of me ! Who's number one now,ha?! Not me I guess…

Ugh , I'm sorry ,I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…

People died because of me . Because I was weak. Because I am weak. That's bullshit! Would they die for me? Would they sacrifice themselves for me?! And I used to think that protecting mere insects such as humans was my duty. Even something to be proud of! Haha… Man,I was stupid! So stupid! Really , really , really stupid.

"Can you handle 1 ghoul all by yourself?"they said , mocking me "You can handle that much". I bet they all died. Serves them right. Thinking they are better than me… I worked way harder than them ! And what did I get ?! Number two! Haha! Number 2? Number 2! I got nothing. I hope they all died. They deserved whatever they got.

But I know they don't taste as good as they think. I wouldn't even look at them. Disgusting. . I'm hungry again. maybe. They would do for a good meal. Ugh, I want to eaaa~t! Will I get some food soon? Anything is good. Any human would even . I bet they too are pretty tasty. Oh No , now I'm drolling. Or is it blood? The dark won't let me see. Whatever it is, it's delicious.

Why do people even use forks and knives when you can eat with your hands? It's just stupid. You can take anything into your hands so why not food? You can twist it in your hands, crush it , rip it , feel it. The meat tastes to good. Raw. Amazing. So juicy . It's even better soaked in blood. A lot of blood. That sounds delicious.

I can't take it anymore . I'm starving ! Starving! Starving! Won't they give me something to eat ? To kill ? To hunt ? Anything is good. I promise . I want to taste something good . Guts. Insides. Flesh. Bones. Muscles. Fat. Eyes. I'm hungry. So hungry. So hungry. So hungry. So hungry. So hungry.

Just give some to me! Flesh! I want flesh! I want to tear this room apart ! Is this a room? Is this the whole world? I don't care ! I want to destroy it ! It pisses me off! It pisses me off! It pisses me off! Damn it all… Well, at least I have my eyes and since all I see is darkness anyway, I guess it won't do … any harm … to just have a taste. Ugh. But it hurts. The landscape is the same , but the pain. I can't stand it. My head hurts even more. Now I have a whole in my head , but man is it tasty ! So squishy and juicy , delicious ! It's still conescted to my head , my eye , but , it tastes like heaven ! I'm in this hell , but it tastes like heaven ! So sweet , the flavour is awesome. But I want more… I t ends to quickly , all of my meals. Oh, wait ! I have another eye!

Everyone kept asking me what was going on in my head. Well it's pretty much just some damp brain and a lot of it as well. It's full of blood in there. It hurts , but I want to have a taste so bad it's killing me! Am I not dead yet though ? Oh no , they told me that I'm not dead unless I 'm unable to eat anymore. So I guess I'm still alive for some reason. What reason? To eat , of course!