The Adventures of Fred The Psychotic Pink Fluffy Bunny of Doom

Disclaimer: I own Fred, but not LotR. *sniffle* *gets whacked by Fred* Leave me alone Fred! *sniffle*

A/N: Fred likes me.

Chapter One: Fred

Once, there was a small irritating boy named Fred. He was small. And irritating. But we have to feel sorry for him, because he belongs to that sad, extraordinarily popular family of the Literary Cliché. His sister's name is Mary Sue, his brother is Gary Stu, his *other* sister is Bad Romance, his *other* brother is Bad Slash- there are lots more, too long to list here. They're all famous and glamorous and loved (hated by some) except for poor Fred. No one has even heard of him.

"I got another package of flowers from a devoted admirer today," he heard his beautifully beautiful perfect sister Mary Sue say in her heavenly perfectly perfect voice.

"Well, at least you don't have girls *throwing* themselves at you all day. It's so…boring," responded his manly man, perfectly perfect brother Gary Stu.

Poor Fred! He wished *he* got flowers and girls throwing themselves at him all day. But he didn't.

Poor me! he thought. I wish I got flowers and girls throwing themselves at me all day! But I don't.

Finally, he decided to run away from home.

I'm going to run away from home, he finally decided.

Would you stop doing that, Fred?

Would I stop doing what?

Thinking in redundancy!

Silly author- control is for *good* writers!

You're not very nice.

I'm not very nice.

Aaaaaargh!

Aaaaargh!

Anyway, Fred ran away from home, carrying only his precious copy of Lord of the Rings- the one book his sisters and brothers didn't star in, or even enter. He didn't think he could live without it.

A/N: Yes, LotR comes in. In the chapter after next. I think. *gets whacked by Fred* He never leaves me alone.