What's so great about Domino anyway?

That's not fair, I guess. It's not really her fault.

But nobody looks at her and thinks "slut." Nobody looks at her and thinks she shouldn't be here, no matter how many times she disappears and shows up again out of nowhere or how many weird things she does.

She's had a rougher time than me. I know that. Some kind of gladiator-type crud in Madripoor, instead of the streets, but I bet she's done as bad as I have or worse to stay alive.

Nobody looks at her and thinks she doesn't deserve Cable.

Okay, sometimes. Sometimes NOBODY deserves Cable. Even, like, the MLF.

Yeah. It's really bad when the joke falls flat in your head.

He's nicer to her though.

Usually.

When they aren't fighting. Or breaking up. Or acting like they want to. Weird, weird relationship.

Everybody's glad to see him when he shows up again, too, even if he never says where he's been, no matter how many secrets he keeps. He's... Cable, and half the time I'm not sure whether to scream at him or hug him.

He's Cable. She's Domino. She's tough and gorgeous and more reliable than I am even when she's falling apart.

Me? I'm Tabitha, Boom-Boom, Boomer, Meltdown, whatever, the skank.

I don't dress in skin-tight black and purple with giant HOLES in it, do I?

She didn't make the mistake of thinking Sabretooth really liked her.

She didn't get Psylocke torn up.

She didn't kiss Berto when she was supposed to be going out with Sam.

Okay. OKAY. I shouldn't have kissed him. I know that. I.... He's really hot and I....

I wasn't, I'm not... used to having somebody I'm supposed to be faithful to.

I wasn't used to the idea somebody'd be faithful to me, either, but he was.

I figured I'd mess it up. I guess I did. I don't know about Berto; I don't think he's as much of a player as he is a flirt, and I sure don't know what HE was thinking. I know what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking.

That made a lot of sense.

I get the feeling they all think I'm a dumb blonde. Guys don't get that; nobody assumes Sam's dumb once they get past the hick accent. I did at first, now I know better. Maybe it's the bubblegum.

Nah.

But they think I'm a ditz and they think I'm trashy, and never mind how much the team's been through together. Fickle little Tab, can't keep a codename, can't keep a boyfriend.

I don't think they even thought we should be together before I screwed up.

Maybe I'm, what's the psych-word, projecting. I always wondered if maybe he wasn't too, I don't know, clean for me. Clean-cut, hard-working boy from a poor family who'd never even THINK of doing anything bad. Yeah. His hands are just as dirty as anybody else's here by now, and I don't mean the whole honest-work thing his mom would be proud of. But Sam still seems wholesome and I don't know how he does it.

I don't know why Berto would feel like a better fit. He flirts, yeah, but he was in love with this girl back home, Juliana, until she died. He's handsome and rich... and a really good kisser... and he oughta be just as much out of reach for a kicked-out street girl as Sam, maybe more so, but... he doesn't seem to hold it against me.

Well, either that or he IS just a player and figured I'd be easy to get into bed.

I really, really shouldn't think about my teammates when I'm in a lousy mood about myself. Because no matter WHAT he was really thinking Berto was sweet and he's given me a hand out of emotional pits when he didn't have to, and Sam's wonderful and trustworthy and responsible even if it's annoying sometimes and didn't deserve being cheated on. Because I'm as happy to see Cable and Domino here and together as anybody and it hurts when they're gone, and if I didn't admire her I wouldn't be jealous, now WOULD I?

I don't know if they really think all the worst things about me that I ever do.

Probably.

See what I mean? Stop thinking about them....

Maybe I'll feel better if I go blow something up.