Stolen Feathers
By LPegasus

Chapter 1
Dry Tears

Hitomi buried her head under her pillow, but there was no escape from the loud beeping of her relentless alarm clock. Reluctantly, she pushed aside her sheets, swung her legs out of bed and stood up. A dizzy spell hit her, having gotten up so quickly, and she swayed.

She yawned loudly and then crossed the room to her desk, where she shut off the alarm clock. By this time, the beeping had become somewhat of a monotonous drone in her ears. She rubbed her eyes, stretched, and glanced at the time wearily. She was running a bit late.

Turning back around, Hitomi contemplated crawling back under her warm covers and dozing off. She only had a week left of school until summer vacation, and after that, she would be a college student. Who cared if she missed one of her last days of class? She immediately thought of her parents and frowned.

Hitomi yawned again, sat down on her bed, and looked at the cardboard boxes piled up against the wall opposite her. She was finally going off to college! She couldn't help but be excited. The past three years of her life had been exhausting, and she had begun to loathe her daily routine of school, homework, track meets... College was a fresh start and a chance for more freedom.

A part of her recoiled from this thought, however. This part fought savagely to convince her to stay at home. It had been her choice to choose a college in the States, and leave her home outside of Tokyo. Her family and friends had discouraged her from applying as an international student, and after Hitomi ignored them, proceeded to attempt to convince her that she would never get into an American university and that her English was not good enough. Hitomi struggled, but ended up with the best English scores in her graduating class. And she was finally accepted into one of the dozen of American universities she had applied for.

Hitomi forced herself to stand up and walked over to her closet, where she began to dress. She put on her uniform as she had every day of her high-school career, and was glad to think that after this week she would never have to wear it again.

"Hitomi!" beckoned her mother from the stairwell. "Are you awake? You're going to be late for class!"

"I'm up!" shouted Hitomi, irritated. She pulled on her knee socks and shoes, and walked over to her dresser. As she was about to begin to apply her eye make-up, her cell phone rang in her bag. She dropped her eye pencil and walked over to answer her phone.

"Hello?"

"Hitomi?"

"Oh, hi!" Her voice brightened up.

"Do you mind if I don't pick you up today?" the voice asked. "I'm running late."

She nodded assent. "It's fine. See you at school?"

The voice consented and said 'goodbye' quickly. Hitomi closed her phone and let her eyes drift to a picture frame beside her bed. Ever since she had gotten into an American university and made her plans to leave Japan known, her relationship with Ryu had been shaky. He seemed disappointed with her, as if she were opting out of a life-time commitment. Slowly, they had drifted apart from one another, and Hitomi wondered at how they still managed to call themselves 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend.'

Hitomi crossed her room and picked up the photo of her boyfriend. It was a beautiful photo – Ryu sat on a picnic blanket underneath a large oak tree, shading him from the sun, and Hitomi was beside him, smiling nervously. She remembered how cheerfully he had asked a stranger to take a photo of them in the park, although she had been uneasy. It had been his idea to go on a picnic that day and he had prepared all the food for her. Hitomi had been shocked that he would go to such lengths to win her, and consented to go out with him. He was handsome and kind; Hitomi could not deny that if it hadn't been for him, she may still be hung up over the union of Yukari, and her first love, Amano.

She put down the photo, but glanced at it one last time. That had been the first time she had kissed a boy. She raised a hesitant finger to her lips, recalling the anxious but passionate pressure of his mouth against hers.


Van stomped into his sleeping quarters, running a hand through his black hair. The day was looking bleak.

It had begun with a report on the state of the drought, which was only getting worse as it threatened to destroy all the crops before the harvest. He wondered how many more would die of thirst before the end of the month, although he did everything in his power to provide his people with water. His advisors had then pressured him with remarks on treaties that needed to be amended, especially those which concerned the neighboring kingdoms. International affairs were in a state of disrepair lately.

Van sat down on the floor, and lazily spread himself out. Turning his head over to look at his left hand, he watched his fingers bend and form a fist. The movement felt foreign, as if his hand were stirring on its own. And despite the fans in the palace, it was unbearably hot. The prospect of the coming summer was frightful.

Sighing, Van wished that he did not feel so strongly about Fanelia. Fighting for his country and people had caused him numerous troubles, and realizing that he held the future of Fanelia in the palm of his hand was frightening. He felt inadequate, when now, more than ever, he would have to be strong and competent to protect his home. Instead of ameliorating after the disaster three years ago, affairs on Gaea had slowly started to deteriorate. Nations saw the confusion as a chance to take control, and while some tried to keep the peace, most kingdoms took advantage of insecurities to seize control and make exorbitant demands on weaker nations. It was a time of mistrust and dishonest actions. Fanelia's place in such a system was unsure. His nation was not wealthy, nor was it terribly powerful. On the contrary, it had just barely been rebuilt after its utter destruction three years ago.

Standing back up, Van looked out of the window at the surrounding mountains, and felt idle and alone. It had been a long time since he had managed to escape the palace, since he had been to the top of those mountains. When he was younger, he was always meandering about in the woods, sometimes only coming back at night to worried parents. He wished he had time for such adventures now.

Looking down to the courtyard below, his eyes stopped upon a young woman wearing a blue, summer dress. The wind carelessly played with the folds of the fabric as she walked towards the courtyard gate.

"Where's she going?" wondered Van, propping his head up on his hand that rested upon the window sill.

The girl suddenly stopped, turned around slightly, and greeted her handmaid who arrived beside her.

Van raised his hands to his face and covered his eyes. She was his future and he would have to accept it. It had been his advisors' idea to arrange a marriage with the daughter of a wealthy family from Asturia. Apparently she would help Fanelia rise to new glory as a more powerful kingdom, with new connections with Asturia.

He hoped so. Something had to come out of the marriage. Although she was polite, it was blatantly obvious that she hated his rural home. Whenever Van proposed that he give her a tour of the city or bring her to the temple in the woods, she refused and made up an obvious excuse to go back to her room. She was accustomed to more lavish luxuries than he could offer and distained him. Van had not been too kind either, but he was beginning to accept his fate. He could envision much more terrible ends to his days than she.

"Van!" snapped a voice from the doorway.

He turned around, smiling when he saw Merle in the doorway. He admired how she had grown over the past few years. She was several feet taller, womanly, and gracious. She no longer scurried about on four feet - preferring to walk on two in her new dresses - or licked her fur or jumped on him at every meeting. In the way of character, however, she not changed much. Although she kept more secrets from him, she was still as stubborn and inconsiderate as ever, or at least, on the facade.

"Van," she whined, as she latched onto his arm, "you promised that you would meet me in the garden once you were done!"

Van suddenly remembered their planned meeting.

"Sorry..." he replied. "I was tied up..."

"You never leave the throne room..." she muttered.

He turned away, refusing to meet her gaze. He knew that this was true and hated admitting it to himself.

"So what are you looking at?" she asked, walking over to his spot.

Looking out of the window, Merle scanned the courtyard below. When she eyed the girl in the blue dress, who was currently making her way out of the gate, she frowned.

"Why are you wasting your time?" she demanded, in her ruthless fashion.

Van looked over at her, raising an eyebrow.

"She's nothing like you!" she proclaimed. "If you marry her, Van, you'll just be unhappy... She does not belong here!"

It took Van a few seconds to realize who she was talking about, but when he did, he began to laugh.

"I can't do anything about it," he replied. "She's good for me and for..."

Merle snorted. "Are you joking? It's enough to make me wish that it was Hitomi."

Van looked away from Merle again.

"Did you hear me?" she demanded, placing two hands on her hips.

He sighed.

"Fine!" exclaimed Merle, stomping out of the room. "I should have left you alone! Why can't you be your old self?"

Van continued to look out of the window, even when Merle slammed the door shut behind her. If she had any idea how confused and unhappy he was, Merle might have restrained herself. Doubtful, but she may have... The last thing he needed was to think about Hitomi. When she had left him, he had been so sure that they would see each other again. But they came from different worlds and had separate destinies. Their lives would never clash again, and for that reason, he found it hard to say her name.

He let his head fall briefly into his hands, wondering when the awful day would come to an end. In desperation, Van decided that he should go apologize to Merle, and left his room.


Hitomi pulled the books and papers out of her locker and let them fall to a heap on the floor. Today was the last day that they had to clear out their lockers, and she had resolved to throw out everything that did not have any sentimental value. Her locker had been a mess to begin with, and when everything was in a pile on the floor, she barely knew what was there. She slowly began to sort through the pile, and made several trips to the nearest garbage can. As she continued to shift through the pile on the floor, a small box came to hand. She closed her eyes and patted the item, feeling its worn corners and familiar shape.

When she came home from Gaea, she made a pact to never again deal another tarot card. Too much trouble had been caused by her ability to read the cards accurately. And that pact had gone hand in hand with one made about the necklace that she still tied about her neck.

She raised a hesitant hand to cup the fuchsia crystal. Never again would she make a wish on this crystal. But some habits died harder than others and she had not taken it off her neck for three years. Ryu had once asked her why she wouldn't take off the necklace, and wear the one that he gave her. She hadn't found an adequate answer and he had suspected her of cheating on him, until she told him a partial truth - that it was a gift from her late grandmother.

Carefully, she opened the box of cards and lifted them out. It went against her pact, but she couldn't care less at the moment. She felt whole, as if she were reuniting with a piece of herself. She felt peaceful and content. She was forced to admit to herself that she had not felt so peaceful in a long time.

On impulse, Hitomi closed her eyes, inwardly wished for some revelation, and drew the card on the top of the deck.

The lovers.

Hitomi pushed her long, brown hair back and sighed. She had obviously lost her gift to read the cards.


Van sprinted up the grassy hill as fast as his legs could carry him. He felt free and alive. Although his journey had started as a quest around the palace and various parts of the city where he thought he was sure to find Merle, he had soon found himself walking down a dirt road out of the city itself. He had reached the woods rapidly. And then he had started running.

As he reached the top of the grassy hill, he came to a halt in front of a solitary tree. He jumped to reach the lowest branch, and then slowly began to climb up the tree, feeling the smooth flex and bend of his muscles as he pulled himself up. When he had climbed high enough, he found an area where the leaves were not so thick, and shuffled closer to the trunk of the tree, propping himself up on a sturdy branch.

Finally, he was where he had wished to be all day.

He twisted himself this way and that, admiring the view from the highest point in Fanelia. On one side, he could see the entire city. It made his heart swell up with pride to see it rebuilt again, as though it had never been destroyed on those fateful days, three years ago.

On the other side, he could see forever. Most of the land was covered with dense forests or curving hills, but he imagined he could see a blurry outline of the ocean very far away. It was on that ocean that he discovered Asturia, met friends and foes alike, and fought Zaibach with Escaflowne.

He sighed, thinking of his poor guymelef, slowly deteriorating in the old temple by the palace. If luck was with him, he would never face a situation where he would have to use Escaflowne again. Yet a part of him rebelled against the idea. Van loved working with Escaflowne, in a battle full of emotions and life. He longed for adventures, not of sitting on a throne and ordering men to do his work.

Sighing, he realized that he should get back to the palace before his advisors had nervous fits. He had been away too long. So, casting one last glance about him, he started to slide off the tree.

Yet a black speck far off caught his eye, and he grabbed a nearby branch to steady himself before falling off the tree completely. Standing up slowly on this branch, and holding onto the trunk, he looked far off into the distance. He wasn't sure exactly what he had seen, but he could wager a guess. He needed another look.

He pushed the branches blocking his view out of the way, but this tact did not work very well and his vision was blocked. He then began to climb to the top of the tree, where he knew that the branches and leaves would be much less dense. But the tree was tall and old, and the branches nearer the top were thinner and snapped beneath his feet. He reminded himself that now was not the time to fall off and accidently injure himself. That had happened far too many times when he was younger, on the same tree.

When he arrived at the very top of the tree, Van pulled himself closer to the trunk, steadying himself. Looking off into the distance, he strained his eyes to see as far as possible. He was almost sure now that what he had seen was real, that it wasn't just an illusion. After several moments of searching and reminding himself that he had spotted something, he saw it again.

It seemed very small in the distance and could barely be seen. But from what he could tell, it was only a couple leagues away, and he knew that its current, small size masked an alarming grandeur. He watched it for a few moments, squinting when the sun dazzled across its black surface and blinded him. But the figure didn't turn away or disappear. On the contrary, it seemed to be approaching.

Van gathered his strength and began to descend the tree in haste, missing branches and tumbling most of the way down. He cut his hands and scraped his skin on the rough bark, but did not heed any physical pain. Once he arrived on solid ground, he began to dart back to the city. He needed to alert his advisors. There was no other major city nearby. The Zaibach floating fortress had to be making its way to Fanelia.


When Hitomi finished clearing her locker, she aimlessly meandered around the hallways. She still clutched the deck of tarot cards in her hand.

She took a left turn at a fork in the hallway and passed through a set of doors. These led to a narrow path on the side of the school, overgrown with dark weeds. Tall bushes surrounded her on either side and leaned in menacingly. Hitomi wondered why no one had bothered to trim them recently. After walking down the path for a few moments, Hitomi arrived at the stairs that she had often leaped down down in haste. She was usually late to practice because of overdue assignments and had to sprint to the field. But this time, she quietly descended the stairs. Soon, she was making her way down the bleachers to the track.

Stopping for a moment, she decided to take a seat at one of the bleachers and admire the field, red and glorious from the afternoon sun. She loved to run and had spent so many hours on this field pursuing that passion. Many competitions had been won and lost here, and many pains still throbbed in this wound. It was on this track that she had sprained her ankle countless times, confessed her love to Amano, and met Van...

She buried her head in her hands. Thinking about him felt as though she were opening an old wound.

No matter how much she had done to escape, even by applying to a university in a new country, her thoughts always went back to him like a faithful dog.


Pushing back his hair in the same mechanical movement that he had repeated for the past fifteen minutes, Van slouched in his throne. He had managed to remain calm so far, but the realization that he would have to deal with the Zaibach Empire was not reassuring.

The thought of a Zaibach consort entering into his territory would have been laughable two years ago. One year would have passed since the Great War and the people of Zaibach would have been weak and in no position to make demands. At that point in time, the people of Zaibach were tirelessly trying to restore order and repair the damages made by Emperor Dornkirk. They were also suffering from the retribution of the victors of the war. Asturia and other large, powerful nations had decided to punish the former Zaibach Empire, insisting that Zaibach pay for damages, change their political system, and demilitarize.

But unfortunately, out of the disorder in Zaibach, one of the generals under Dornkirk who had survived the war managed to usurp power. The people of Zaibach welcomed the order and strict rules that he proposed. They allowed him to recreate the Empire.

Van reminded himself of the rumors that he had heard in the city market a few months ago. Merchants had been talking amongst themselves about civil uprisings in the Zaibach Empire. Apparently, the people of Zaibach were not so fond of their new ruler now. Van had been unable to hear more though; the merchants promtly silenced themselves once they realized that they were in the presence of the king. Van found it so frustrating that he had to be followed around by this stigma.

"Sire!" cried a voice from the doorway.

Brought back from his thoughts, Van looked up at the messenger who was slowly approaching him. This one was gasping for breath after what must have been a long run, and alarming Van's three advisors who piled into the room after him.

"You have news...?" asked Van, dismally.

"A Zaibach consort has just landed in our territory," stated the messenger, who was slowly catching his breath and regaining his composure. "They should be here shortly."

Van nodded briefly, turning his attention to his three advisors. Only one seemed in possession of himself. The others were sweating profusely.

As the messenger quickly bowed and exited the room, this advisor strode up to Van.

"You must be strong now, my king," he urged Van kindly.

"I will be, Dernver."

He turned his head away and looked out of the window. His desire to escape had only grown.

Three men in dark uniforms were soon escorted into the throne room by five of the royal guards. The men's faces were unreadable. One man stood out of the group, marching at the head of the brigade. Van quickly observed that this man would do all the talking.

The three men strode confidently through the room as the guards parted to stand by the doors. The figure in the front, who Van had distinguished as the leader, stopped at a respectable distance from the throne, though it was too close for comfort for Van. He smoothed his dark, creaseless uniform before beginning to speak.

"Your majesty, King of Fanelia," he started, his voice as suspiciously smooth as his uniform, "we come here as representatives of the Zaibach Empire and of Gaea. We request your aid in order to further our pursuit of peace and justice on the continent."

"What help can I offer Zaibach?" asked Van, spiting out that last word with as much disdain as he could muster.

"Your majesty," continued the representative of Zaibach, unwaveringly. "The Zaibach Empire asks for one trivial object, a small sacrifice towards peace on Gaea. Your help will not go unnoticed and the kingdom of Fanelia will be greatly rewarded for its sacrifice."

"What is it you ask for?"

"We ask for Escaflowne. The guymelef will be dismantled by our technicians."

Van couldn't help but open his mouth in shock. Were they really asking him to hand Escaflowne over? The representative kept his stony complexion and waited patiently for an answer. It was true then.

The initial shock soon turned into disgust and anger. Van's temper overcame him.

"Dismantle Escaflowne?" he demanded angrily. "What the hell for?"

"The Zaibach Empire believes that the removal of such a strong source of power would prevent another Great War. It is a powerful weapon that must not fall into dangerous hands, and the Zaibach Empire and its allies have agreed upon its destruction. We hope that the kingdom of Fanelia, as a friendly nation, will join us in this cause and..."

"On the contrary, it would allow you to wage another war!" shouted Van, jumping up from his throne in his anger. "Your request is denied! You may not barge in here and demand Escaflowne!"

"I was told that you would reply in such a fashion," replied the head delegate, keeping his composure. "In such a case, I was ordered to inform you that it is in Fanelia's best interests to comply. The Empire will respond by force if you should not agree willingly."

Angrily, Van opened his mouth to reply, but Dernver cut him off promptly.

"Once we have come to a decision, we will send a messenger with our answer," affirmed Dernver. "Please accept our apologies in the meantime."

The representative nodded slightly to Dernver. He then turned on one heel and strode out of the room, followed closely by his two apprentices.

Van watched them leave the room, narrowing his eyes in distaste. How could they challenge his authority like that?

"They'll pay for being so blunt!" he snapped, facing his three advisors once the coast was clear. "I'll prepare Escaflowne now. With the help of the reserve army, we'll be able to take out their consort! It will take the floating fortress a few more days to get here, and that will give us time to..."

"Sire," interrupted Dernver, "I believe I speak for all of your advisors when I say that the better choice is to... weigh the issue reasonably. We don't have the means to fend off an attack from the Zaibach Empire. Fanelia is more important than defending a royal heirloom, one that has passed the peak of its usefulness in modern, political affairs."

"Are you saying that we should hand over Escaflowne?" Van shouted, his eyes darting between his advisors anxiously.


"Hitomi!"

The girl in question looked up to find one of her classmates running towards her.

"Yes, Yuki?" Hitomi asked lazily.

"You have to come quick!" she urged, grabbing Hitomi's hand and pulling her up from her seat. "You won't believe what I saw... Come on!"

Hitomi nodded in assent. She stuffed the tarot cards into her bag before following Yuki at a run towards the school. The latter kept glancing back at Hitomi, shooting her nervous glances.

"What's going on?" wondered Hitomi, becoming more anxious with each passing step.

They entered the building and ascended to the fifth floor. Yuki slowed down as they made their way down the hall towards a classroom in the back of the building, and Hitomi followed suit. She was beginning to find this little adventure troublesome.

"Okay, can you just tell me what's going on?" she urged Yuki. "This is getting to be..."

Her words trailed off as they reached the door of the classroom, left slightly ajar. Inside, she could see Ryu and...

"I'm so sorry, Hitomi! I was clearing out my locker and I walked by the door, and I saw them together... I came to get you as soon as possible!"

Hitomi had stopped listening. She couldn't say that she was particularily surprised about this new development, but her anger quickly overcame her. She hadn't kissed Ryu in a long time and found it natural that he should get another girlfriend. But he should have the decency to tell her it was over instead of embarrassing her in front of her friends!

She pushed the door open violently and it slammed against the wall. Ryu and the girl broke apart and looked at Hitomi.

"Let me explain..." Ryu began. He seemed to be in a daze.

"What is there to explain?" yelled Hitomi.

She had had enough. Hitomi spun away from the door and started to run. Tears poured down her face as she sprinted down the hallway, leaped down the flights of stairs, and darted through the school doors. She wasn't sure where she was going, but she needed to get away. She ran out into the street, pounding down the pavement. Some students and passerbys stopped for a moment to look, but soon continued on their way.

Before long, Hitomi found herself running down a street towards the ocean. She didn't know where she was anymore and wasn't sure how to retrace her steps. She didn't care that she was lost. All she knew was the moment, the exhilaration of running, and the sensation that she was escaping her troubles.

Hitomi made it to the beach. It was peopled with large rocks, but that didn't hinder her flight. She jumped from rock to rock, aiming for the packed sand just a few steps beyond. As her foot touched the ground, she lost her balance and fell.

Once she hit the hard floor, Hitomi rolled over and grabbed her ankle in anguish. Her tears doubled as the pain in her foot grew. She had either pulled a muscle, or worse, sprained her ankle, and she didn't doubt her complete knowledge in these matters. She had sprained her ankle many times on the track at school, during competitions and practices. And as she suspected, when Hitomi tried to push herself up off the hard floor, her body wouldn't cooperate.

Turning herself over so that she could sit, Hitomi reached for her left foot. She massaged it for a few moments, trying to bend it, and concluded that it wasn't broken. And so, turning her mind to other matters, she started to brush mud off of her uniform. Now she would have a reason to throw it out.

Hitomi sprawled herself on the ground. She fell quiet, listening to the splashing waves. And then she started to cry harder. She was lying on a beach, had just hurt her ankle, and her boyfriend had cheated on her. She was pathetic.

"I should call Mom..." she thought. "I know she'll murder me for having sprained my ankle again, but she'll pick me up. I'm lost anyway..."

Hitomi stuck her hand inside her bag, reaching for her cell phone. Her tarot cards came to hand first. Ripping the object out of her bag, she flung it into the air in anger.

"Lovers, huh?" she screamed at no one in particular.

Another wave of tears - thankful ones this time - poured down as she realized what she just said. Her gift had not deserted her, and surprisingly, that filled her with a brief feeling of calm.

But this peacefulness was ephemeral. Hitomi screamed in frustration. She had tried so hard to escape her pains, but they followed her everywhere. Every day she had had to convince herself she was happy and that she was strong. She had forced herself to forget Van and the others... to forget Gaea. She had struggled with herself to believe that her life here was better than any other alternative, and had tried so hard to love Ryu. When all her attempts failed and she was left only with running and the love of her parents, she had tried to escape to another life in another country.

She was from the Earth – the Mystic Moon – and that was where she had to return. She belonged in this world, in this way of life. She would never have been fully happy over there...

"I would have been happy with Van..."

Hitomi let out one last burst of whimpers, before her tears ceased. They were meaningless now. She loved Van, and cry as she might, she would never see him again.

Propping herself back up into a sitting position, she glanced at her tarot cards. Her throw had been weak and they hadn't gone very far. Hitomi pulled the deck over and cradled it in her arms.

What did she have left? The illusion of her good life had once again shattered. She didn't have her boyfriend. She didn't have her home or parents or friends. She didn't even have running! She was going to college on the other end of the world and that was not the beginning but the end of everything!

She closed her eyes and clutched the cards closer to her chest. "I would give up everything for one trip back..." she whispered.


Van raced into his bedroom and slammed the door behind him. He felt like a young, unreasonable child.

He marched over the pedestal in the corner of his bedroom on which lay the energist, and wrenched it off the pedestal violently. He then ran over to his window and readied himself to throw it to the ground below, where it would break and shatter. But Van's arm refused to cooperate when called upon. He had had to part with Escaflowne for the good of Fanelia, but he couldn't part with this little piece of himself as well.

He brought the crystal to his face, to better examine the surface. He remembered the land dragon that he had had to face in order to claim the energist. He remembered the effort that he had given to slay the dragon. He remembered meeting Hitomi and how she had saved his life for the first of many times.

What would she have done in his situation? Would she have given up Escaflowne so willingly? Not that he had had a choice... The delegate had made the consequences of not complying with Zaibach very clear.

When the messenger that Van had sent with the dreadful agreement had returned to the throne room, he had come with another message from the Zaibach Empire. Fanelia would be greatly rewarded for its sacrifice. The loss of the guymelef would be recompensed by the assurance of help from Zaibach, at any moment and in any place.

Looking out of his window, Van could clearly see the consort. They were loading Escaflowne onto their ship now. All his memories and hopes of adventure were going with the guymelef. He would be a poor king all his life, sagging and withering away on the throne, uttering words that held no power or importance.

He pried himself away from the window and sat down on the ground beside his bed. He hadn't expected this. He longed for the past, not for this new future. He longed for his friends, and even for Hitomi.

"There... I've admitted it to myself..." he thought, smiling slightly.

She had come to represent so many things that he had valued and lost. He did not want to move on.