A friend once told me: If you didn't make your OTP suffer, then you didn't love them as much as you thought you did.

She left me speechless, and an hour later, I had the most intense metal seizure.

The consequences last until this day.

... Why are you reading my rants? Focus on your couple being ruined by my writing!

EDIT NOTE: Yeah, I fix a few things, add some new lines to work the plot. I sent my thanks to Ghostina, the lovely beta-reader who I owed to a great extent.


0. Prologue:

It came slowly at first, gentle as snowflakes fallen from the misty clouds on the first day of winter.

He woke up, and his first instinct was to look longingly at the windowpane -never locked, like this beating heart of his- and patiently wait for winter. When the winds blew in to kiss his forehead, he would then lay down and pretend to be asleep. Winter would soon wake him up with a cold gush of freezing winds and bitter frosts. He would yelp, but the cold would never last long. He would groan, but with hidden awe, he saw a flutter of fresh snow coat everything in his room in a delicate, and somewhat dreamy, atmosphere. Then Winter would laugh, warm and silvery like what the soft melody icicles would make when they dangled together in the breezy winter wind.

Winter would ask the boy if he was ready to have some fun.

And he would sink himself a little deeper, in the pit of the bubbling joy swelled inside his stomach, and while his lips could say "yes" a million times over… he would take anything if it meant winter could stay longer - forever maybe; however, he was content with anything winter gave him.

It became a routine, once a full December, for eleven years. And from a routine, it became a closure. And from a closure, it became something more, something he had expected, but had never hoped.

Jamie Bennett was in love with the winter.

He blamed himself - because it was, and supposed to be, a platonic love, a boy and his pseudo brother having no care of the world as long as they could find their joy in the white pure snow. He intended to stay that way, brothers forever, until he found that 'forever' was words that was meant to be broken, and no longer could he see his winter as a brother anymore. Not when Jamie, when in his most confused age called "fourteen" and still believed in the Guardians, found winter was unrealistically beautiful as the snow circled and threaded into locks of silver strands that he loved so much.

It was when he realized that he was falling too fast, too emotionally attached to a thing he was not supposed to fall for.

To be honest, it was hard not to - he could resist, and it would be hard, but at least it could never happen – yet despite everything, he chose to fall. Because when he was sixteen, winter told him a story about a boy who fell through a frozen lake while saving that boy's sister.

Because winter was strong, winter was lonely, winter was crushing him with frozen tears dampened the pale, smooth skin. And he was Winter's most important person in the world, Jamie heard.

At that moment, he chose to submit, he chose to love winter with every fiber of his being while holding winter's pale delicate hands, whispering that he would always be there for the lonely winter, as winter had done the same (maybe more than enough) for him.


Even when his winter had abruptly left him to fend off his heartache, he had not regretted his choice of love for a single day. His only regret was to own a coward heart, a heart too shy to speak its feelings.

With eight years passing, Fate had given him no chance to be free. Therefore, he kept these unavowed feelings underground.

But it hurt, inside out, as he kept staring at her crying face while she kept shouting, pleading him to get up. She didn't understand, she couldn't with her age, when he said he would stay despite his words earlier. A child like her could not understand such a lie - the false promise, dripped in the sharp air, that they would get out alive and unscarred.

The boy had long gone to his eternal slumber, and his body was just cold limbs and stiff bones ached with unbearable pain.

"Mr. Bennet, please!" he heard her sobbing, scrambling small hands brought forward to him in desperateness. "Please... Get out of there! Grab my hand! You promise!"

His story must end here, so hers would continue. The child was too young, too innocent, to never have Christmas again… Even with how cruel it was to let her see him like this.

The worst he could do now was to smile, as the bus let out a deafening screech and came skidding off balance that had been relying upon the narrow cliff. His heart stopped and his body felt light when the bus fell down into the black pit, and a pang of guilt gnawed his gut as he heard her cries, the horrible sound filled with anguish.

It was the last thing he remembered before darkness consumed him whole, paralyzed him with pain.


First word: You have no idea how important you are to someone. You, reading this, is such an incredible pleasure for me.

Second word: Please read, review if you're interested, and fav/follow if you want to!