THE DIARY OF SMEAGOLSES

Day 1

It's my birthday. Got a nice brooch thingy from Grandma - PWETTY!!

Went fishing with Deagol. Murdered Deagol. Stole shiny ring thingy that he found. He started it!!

Day 2

Grandma found out about me murdering Deagol. Got a nasty telling off. I told her that he started it, but she wouldn't listen!! Hate Grandma. Going to run away.

Day 3

Didn't run away. Got chucked out instead. Spent entire day admiring my shiny ring….

Day…. Er… ????

Have decided to give my shiny ring a name. Will call it preciousssssss.

My personality split in half today. Stupid other half of me stole the sellotape, so I couldn't stick myself back together again. Other half of me is called Gollum….

Day…. Oh, whatever, have given up counting

Am going to Misty Mountains. They look NICE….

60 years after I We got into the Misty Mountains

Met nice hobbit today, we played a nice riddle game.

HE STOLE MY PWETHIOUTH!!! NASSTY HOBBIT!!

He didn't even let me kill him when he stole it. Stupid idiot.