Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine, and thank God, neither is Chuckie.
There I was, eating my yummy Spaghetti -o's when my little brother turned the VCR on and started watching Child's Play 2. As I was watching the film, I began to wonder why those idiots couldn't just kick the damn thing at the wall and then step on it's head? I know I would. Then, a few minutes later, I got bored and went into the kitchen to refill my very tall glass of soda and thought about how the Gundam cast would react to a living doll. We couldn't just leave them as teenagers, though, because what fun would it be if they were all tall enough to just kick a doll at the wall and squish it's brains out?
Anywhoo, here it is. Bashing of many characters. You don't like, don't read, you friggin' flaming morons. (meant for flamers who can't read)
---Heero Yuy---
Age: 7 ½
Chance of survival: Pretty damn great
Scenario:
Heero, alone in the small dorm room set up for himself at the very same school with Relena [1], is typing away on his super handy-dandy lap top for an upcoming mission. Suddenly the door flies open, and in runs Chuckie, knife in hand. Heero, with his pistol he just happens to have in the waistband of his uniform pants, whips out the gun and blows Chuckie's little dolly brains out. Un-phased by this, he picks up the bloody thing and prepares to flush it down the pooper, when suddenly, he has a second thought and decides to dispose the thing on Relena's bed.
Conclusion: Just because you're a psychotic serial killer doesn't mean you can't slip up and act your age every once in awhile.
---Duo Maxwell---
Age: 6
Chance of Survival: Undetermined
Scenario:
One of two things could happen:
1.) While during Sunday Church Mass, Chuckie comes bursting in, scaring the bejeezus out of everyone and convincing them into thinking their sacred land has been cursed by the devil. Later, after several killings of stupid people who couldn't run very fast and had no balance what-so-ever, the doll was caught and exorcized, finally ending the reign of Chucky.
2.) Same as above, only Chucky somehow in that odd, ironic, horror-movie way, ends up actually killing everybody with a SINGLE butcher knife.
Conclusion: I like cheese, cheese, cheese...
---Trowa Barton---
Age: 4
Chances of survival: Pretty good
Scenario:
Trowa, a young boy of four, is a new recruit for some military organization, which by the way, had to be high on friggin' crack to hire a four year old and trust him in the operation of a MS, and naturally is armed with a machine gun or some sort of dangerous toy a NORMAL four year old would shoot his eye out with. After almost four years of raising himself from birth (just about!) he somehow developed a flexible body (n__________________n *drool*) and very strong mus-kles---which may be one of the reasons he was hired for the military organization, though we're all very sure that for twelve years, he dealt with crackpots, thus enabling him to get into many of the places he managed to get into today. But that's beside the point.
Chuckie rushes in, knife in hand, raised high for killing. Trowa, unafraid, shoots the thing a few times, killing it. That's the end of that for now.
Conclusion: Mara-joo-wanna makes people do funny things, M'kay. [2]
---Quatre R. Winner---
Age: 4 ½
Chances of survival: Very slim to none
Scenario:
Quatre, as a child, was probably very insecure and very Chucky-from-Rugrats-like. So very likely, when he saw Chucky running at him with a knife, he covered himself with a blanket and did those exercises he and his psychiatrist discussed when dealing with things that were not there. Unfortunately, aside from those floating pink bunnies, Quatre couldn't tell reality from imaginary things and most likely wouldn't make it.
Conclusion: Psychiatrists can be very nice.
---Chang Wufei---
Age: 9
Chances of Survival: Pretty damn great
Scenario:
After being trained with some of the top fighters on his colony (most likely), this Chinese scholar had to have picked up SOME skills in kung fu and throwing nunchucks... thingies... uh... so, uh, after acquiring so many skills, whether he is alone or not, he is able to defend himself--- not only with kung fu but with that sharp, witty (yeah right) tongue of his.
It's a normal day for our Chinese martial artist/scholar, and he is in the library alone, studying how to make your head bigger with brains. As he reads, the door flies open and Chucky rushes in AGAIN to kill stuff, but doesn't get more than three feet in when the double doors behind him shut suddenly and Mortal Combat Music starts to play. A deep booming voice from nowhere declares: "Let Mortal combat begin!" Wufei, discarding his reading glasses, gets into fighting stance and cries something out in Chinese.
"Hujablu blahblahblah!" Wufei flies towards Chucky, doing a bicycle kick that causes Chuckie to fly into a wall.
"Ijijijijiji! Ahaha io-io-io!" Wufei then does an animality, turning into a dragon which then tears Chuckie limb from limb.
After all that, he turns back into Wufei, and does a victory pose before resuming his studies.
Conclusion: The Sub Zero game featuring none other than Sub Zero really sucked, compared to the almighty Mortal Kombat 1,2,3, and 4. Oh, and "baby-alities" are fun!
---Relena Peacecraft---
Age: 8
Chances of survival: Impenetrable
Scenario:
She's a pampered princess who's going to be watched 24/7 by a bunch of guards. I doubt a doll running towards the girl with a knife is going to be safe enough for the guards to just let go.
Conclusion: You can never go wrong with a handful of guards and a bottle of whiskey.
I really don't know much about the other characters, but if anyone would be so kind as to let me know (And I need FACTS, not FANCIES.) I would greatly appreciate it... I may even update. WOOT! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed what little of what I have anyway. Thank you!
[1] Refer to Relena's episode zero manga: they should be around 8, right? If not, who cares?
[2] I realize there are many people on drugs right now, who are, very seriously, trying to stop and make something out of themselves and their crappy life. Forgive me if I have offended anyone.
