Summer Changes.

Harry Potter arrived at platform 9 ¾ on time. This was the beginning of his sixth year. He was feeling ambivalent about it on the one hand he would be seeing all his friends again, playing quidditch and learning about magic. On the other hand Voldemort was still out to kill him, he missed Sirius so bad it hurt, He'd have to deal with Snape's smirky comments and he had spent the summer drunk.

He was looking for his friends when a familiar voice called out behind him:"Hi, Harry over here!"

It was Hermione, she had changed over the summer. For one thing her long bushy hair was now covered in Mayonnaise it smelled and was attracting bugs. She was dressed in a stained, torn lobster costume, and she was wearing cherry red lipstick on her forehead. She was wearing an attractive hat made of tin-foil.

"Hermione what happened to you?" Harry asked, incredulously

"Nothing, nothing at all," Hermione said. "My parents think I have schizophrenia brought on by stress, they didn't want me to come to school, but I knew the truth they were being controlled by Voldemort's minons, the bees!"

"The bees?" Harry asked

"Yes, evil, evil bees! They want me to take my medication, so they can brainwash me. The Blue elephant told me all about it," Hermione continued in a conspiratorial whisper.

"Oh," Harry sighed. He pulled out his trusty flask of fire-whiskey and took a swig.

They walked onto the train, looking for their friends. They found, Ron, Luna, Ginny and Neville all sitting in the same compartment. They all had changed over the summer.

Ginny had shaved her head, she was scowling and wearing a wife-beater that said: "DEATH TO ALL MALE SCUM!" She had a tattoo on her arm of two female symbols interlocked, both her ears were pierced up and down the lobe and she was wearing jeans. Neville had dyed his hair black, with purple tips. He was wearing black lipstick and eyeliner, a black Marilyn Manson hoody, a spiked collar on his neck, black cargo pants his wallet was on a chain and

doc martens. He had various spiked metal braclets on his arms and ever Trevor had a spiked collar on. He was listening to a discman and repeating over and over again in a monotone voice: "Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor."

Luna looked much the same as she did last year, reading her Quibbler, her funny turnip earrings, and butterbeer cap necklace but when she saw Hermione and Harry Enter she said: " The morning of Good, Halley and Hermione! "

And then there was Ron, he had huge tanned muscular arms growing out of his forhead.

Ginny grabbed Hermione and snogged her passionately. And Luna said:

"Lesbains. Being I didn' You know t;"

Harry sat down, he decided to ask Ron what had happened to everyone. When Malfoy burst in. Malfoy was glowing bright green.

"Well, well if it isn't Potty and Weasel," he sneered

It was nice to see Malfoy hadn't changed much. Harry Grinned. "What do you want, Malfoy?" Ron sneered. The arms on his forehead flexing.

And Luna said: " It is Malfoy which applies annoyance on why us? OFF of lawn area!"

"What I want is simple, I want Granger, I'm in love with her," He said. "I have been in love with her forever. I couldn't say it because of Father, but now that father is gone and I'm radioactive. I've decided to declare my love for her!" He went down on bended knee.

"Granger will you Marry me?"

Hermione look at Malfoy, then whisphered something to the thin air. "YES!" I love you! The Blue elephant gives it's consent!"

"" I don' T you get married, sufficiently healthy she' S You think;" Luna said.

"Oi, Hermione's my bird!" Ginny said pulling out a shot gun. "I'll fight you for her!"

Then Neville pulled out a flamethrower.

And that's when Harry woke up.