Vernon I am


I do not like the boy I see

I do not want him near Dudley

I did not want him left at my door

Do you hear me, Dumbledore?

x

I do not like him here or there

I do not like his messy hair

I do not like his oddball dreams

I fear he is not all he seems

x

I hate his dreams of motorcycles

He has no right to be Dudley's rival

Such awful memories of his father!

My word, the boy is such a bother

x

The thought of him makes me vomit

Then I lock him in the closet

His existence is nothing but tragic

Another weirdo user of magic

x

Those glasses are a sign of weakness

I plan to fill his days with bleakness

I will stamp out this oddity

If need be, I will do so bodily

x

He will remain under the stairs

And of his heritage continue unawares

He must learn to respect his betters

I must destroy those bloody letters

x

I do not like the boy, I say

I do not like him night or day

I will not stand for anything weird

Especially that hair, that must be sheared

x

Why did you leave him at my door?

Just to torture me, Dumbledore?