Hello lovelies, i'm not sure were i'm taking this fic, i had a plan a couple of months ago but.. i don't know were i should take it. I'm unsure over the parings i have in mind and the bashing but i think it will make sense in the end. I know i've written more than i usually do but i just couldn't make myself stop haha!
Disclaimers: I do not legally own the two famous books at all and i apologize for any grammar mistakes. .
Warnings so far: This is a male x male story, so it's gay as fuck. I would advice to not read it's not to your liking.
EMMET X HARRY
Give me a reason
Harry felt himself froze. Hard eyes took in the scene before him and he couldn't believe it. He felt his heart shatter into tiny, tiny, pieces by every cruel word that was spoken, by the wicked grins marring their faces and the laughter; but still he didn't utter a single word. Not a single movement to show that he was there, to show that his whole being was falling apart; nothing.
No Harry just stood there, refusing to revile himself as his body stood frozen in despair. A pearl shaped tear found its way down his cheek as another fallowed closely behind.
He turned around, walking slowly to return to the path that had led him here. He wanted to disappear, to run, to flew from the hurt and betrayal; to wake up from this cruel nightmare that decided to haunt him this undesirable evening.
As he at last found his way outside his dorm room he felt numb. He stepped inside to find his trunk packed and set aside by the bed, knowing tomorrow would be the day that the train would take him to King-cross station were he would meet up with his godfathers. The thought formed a small smile over the unhappy boys lips knowing he would never have to take another step into the summer torture that his relatives disposed.
A hopeless sigh escaped him as he laid himself on this bed gazing through the window, softly drifting of to sleep.
Harry woke up the next day with a soft groan of anxiousness. Yesterdays revelations had taken a turn on his mood. As he made his way to the bathroom to freshen up before making his appearance at the great hall for breakfast he shot uncertain glances towards his best friends bed, which was occupied by said friend.
He didn't know who to trust anymore.. was everything a lie to make a fool out of him? To break him apart gradually until there wasn't anything left of him?
He tore his eyes away from his friend as he went in to take his shower. Done around 15 minutes later to see the first friend he had ever made stir up made him rush out from the dorm, only hearing a faint confused mumble of his name before he was gone.
He hadn't met anyones stare as he ate the small amount of food he thought he could stomach. He wasn't really hungry but he didn't want to waste a chance to eat, knowing that every meal could be his last. Harry cringed at his own thought, knowing he was getting to paranoid about starvation.
He knew he could trust to be fed during his time with Sirius and Remus, knowing he would probably be the one to cook their food for them seeing that the pair usually went to the Weasley's to sponge some food or let Kreatcher cook for them.
But the lingering doubts were still there and he knew that his time at the Dursleys had made an enormous impact on his life that he surly wouldn't be able to change easily by himself. Harry knew he was an abused child and he knew that his childhood had been taken away from him, just as the choices that were constantly made for him as the young teen he is now. But he also knew he wasn't at fault for any of it, but yet every word, every beating, every chore he was forced to do from the age of 6 years old. The neglect, the hate, the blaming he had endured was imprinted in his head and it was his biggest insecurity.
Hogwarts hadn't been any better during the past years, he was fed, yes, he was worshiped by most over the fact that he overpowered a maniac at the age of 1; loosing his family at the same time. But he was also turned against so easily by every single choice he made, if it didn't fit the ''hero image'' he was suppose to fallow he was dumped, if his opinion were anything out of the ordinary he was blamed, if he was just Harry he was a freak.
As the great hall filled up with chattering students he made his way to leave the hall, unfortunately doing so would resolve into walking past his best friend as nonchalantly as possible, seeing as he just walked inside.
''Harry you could have waited for me you know? I was looking all over for you.'' Ron said in good nature, only frowning when Harry wouldn't lift his eyes to meet his and feeling the anxiousness that was dripping of his friend in waves.
''Harry, mate, are you alright?'' He asked and lightly gripped his shoulder, being mindful that Harry wasn't the biggest fan of being touched, especially while being upset.
Harry looked up at Ron trough his lashes. Seeing real concern in his eyes, Harry knew that Ron didn't have anything to do with yesterdays cruelty. As tears gathered in his eyes he jumped up to hug his taller best friend as good as he could.
Ron chuckled softly as he hugged his best friend, brother, back. Harry was usually adorably confusing, a puzzle that he always tried to keep up with.
Neither minded that they had caused quiet a scene in the middle of the great hall, not that they noticed until a laugh filled with crudity was heard coming from the young Malfoy heir.
''Oh look the Weasel has gotten himself a boyfriend!'' Crab and Goyle was now standing behind him backing up, what was meant to be mocking laughter.
Ron then looked down at the boy in his arms, as Harry himself looked at Ron; both sharing a look of disgust.
''No offence mate but i'm not fond of the thoughts of incest .'' Harry shook his head in agreement.
''None taken.'' As they both laughed at the ridiculous though. The Malfoy heir flushed in anger when his insult hadn't frizzled them up at all, mindful of the teacher in the front he huffed as he walked to the Slytherin table.
Ron dragged Harry back to the end of the table mindful of Harrys panicked stare when saw Hermione and Ginny seated in the middle. They had yet to detect that they were in their presence.
''Care to tell me 'bout earlier?'' Ron asked as he saw Harry bite into an apple, casting anxious glances towards the girls. Harry flushed ashamed about doubting Ron, but yet who would have blamed him?
''Malfoy tried to insult us?'' He answered looking anywhere but Ron until he heard his soft chuckles.
''Yeah, i kind of understood that myself but i was more curious about prior behaviour mate, you know i don't mind hugs but,'' He shook his head towards the girls while still looking at Harry,
''... Elaborate please?''
Harry took another bite from his apple while feeling slightly silly for his behaviour. He looked up to see Ron waiting with patience that Ron usually didn't possess, with his blue eyes showing concern and kindness.
''I-... can we speak about this somewhere else?'' Harry asked instead, knowing Hogwarts had ears everywhere.
''Of course mate, lets go back to the dorm yeah?'' Ron asked, now a little more alert, wanting to know what was making Harry so held back and insecure.
Harry only nodded and started to stand up when he heard a shrilling voice say his name loudly. He turned to see that they had been detected by the two people he didn't want to ever interact with again.
''Hi..'' He said not making any eye contact with them while he made his way to go with Ron more clear when he shot a desperate look that made Ron almost run up from the bench.
''Come on Harry let's leave the girls to their food.'' Hearing protest coming from them made them quickly leave the hall.
''So... more comfortable now?'' Ron asked with a soft chuckle, trying to lift the serious atmosphere lightly.
Harrys own chuckles sounding forced as he looked out the window from his bed.
''Yesterday i was looking for Hermione, i was looking to ask about the book she borrowed about counter curses i borrowed from the black library.'' Harry sighed before continuing, he looked over to see encouragement coming from Ron.
''I asked Seamus if he had seen her and he said he had seen her walking towards the library. I didn't think much of it until i was there. The library shouldn't have been open but the door was, so i guessed Hermione had gotten permission to use it,'' Harrys eyes filled with tears as he thought about the event.
''They were so cruel Ron..'' In seconds Harry found himself in the lap of his brother. Harry hugged Ron for all he was worth as he softly cried. After 10 minutes or so Harry calmed down but was still being firmly held by Ron.
''They?..'' Ron asked softly, wanting to know the rest of the story.
''Ginny was there with Hermione.. I though they had noticed my presence but obviously they hadn't cause they started to talk about how nice it was that the year finally was over, that i couldn't drag them in to unnecessary dangers anymore..'' Harry felt himself start to tear up again but swallowed his sorrow so he could finish. Ron's arms had tightened around him and he heard soft mumbles of curses directed to the girls.
''They started laughing and talking about all the money they got out of it and that it was worth it in the end since i did most of the work anyway.. Ron.. why do Ginny think will marry her?''
Ron looked down at Harry with shock. Marry? They were far to young to be talking about marriage and as far as he knew Harry he wasn't fond of Ginny at all.
''I don't know mate.. they talked about marriage? I haven't heard anything about it. And what money?'' Harry shrugged as he continued.
''I don't know Ron.. everything is so messed up.. Ginny said that i owned your family to marry her after all you've done for me over the years and Hermione talked about getting payed to 'watch over me'. I only avoided you this morning 'cause i didn't know if you were with them or not.. i'm sorry i doubted you.'' Harry was tearing up again and felt ashamed over his assumptions.
''Don't be mate, after everything that has happened during our 4 years together i would be suspicious to. I'm sorry Harry that i didn't notice, Ginny has got it all wrong if she thinks that you owe us anything. I would say it is us that owes you instead, without you we would have struggled to get enough money to buy our Hogwarts supplies and Ginny wouldn't even be alive. And about this payment.. We need to talk to someone, there is something fishy about the whole situation.'' Ron said thoughtfully. Harry was amazed that behind Ron's playful and lazy attitude he hid a very grown up side..very Slytherin of him.
''I don't know Ron. I don't trust Dumbledore anymore,''
''And you shouldn't.'' Ron butted in.
''and who else is there to talk to? If someone is paying them what is there to do about it?''
''I don't know mate but i suggest we talk to Sirius and Remus about this and ill tell mom to force some reality into Ginny about her unhealthy obsession over you. Whoever it is that is encouraging their behaviour and is paying them to do this is just as sick as them.''
''What would i do without you Ron?'' Harry asked as he hugged his older brother, feeling safe and loved.
''Hmm? Probably the same thing as me if i would have been without you, miserable.'' Ron and Harry started laughing, neither of them really fully understanding how much the statement really was true and neither of them wanted to find out.
''HARRY!'' Sirius shouted as he saw his pup walk out from the train with Ronald Weasley in the heels looking grim.
''SIRIUS!'' Harry laughed as he jumped into the arms of his godfather. Sirius had been freed as they had brought the memories of the event to the ministry, a true memory can't be altered to make up events only to erase or hide some. An altered memory would be detected immediately and since there was four people which contained similarly thoughts of the event Sirius was freed with 50.000 galleons as a wrongly convicted fee.
''Had a good year pup? It seems to me that it was uneventful despite that awful Umbridge woman.'' Sirius was still angry at the toad that caused his pup pain, he was just glad he had gotten there in time to stop Harry from going to the ministry trap.
''I guess..'' Harrys mood had sunken again but he refused to elaborate just yet. Ron would have to come with them cause Harry didn't think he could do it without his support.
''Sirius, is it alright if i come with you for a couple of hours? Me and Harry wants to talk with you and Remus about something and it is better to do it straight away rather than later.''
Sirius was now feeling worried, Ron had never been the serious type and it concerned him when all playfulness disappeared and was once again replaced with that grim expression.
''Sure, Remus is waiting by the car so let's go!'' But before they even made it a meter Sirius turned around again.
''Is it okay for though?'' Sirius hated the woman but he didn't want to offend her son, he also knew Harry was fond of the woman for some reasons.
''It should be alright, I told Ginny to pass the message so she knows where i am.'' Sirius noticed with interested how frustrated he sounded while talking about his sister.
''Alright then.'' The walk was quick but filled with pleasant conversation. Sirius told Harry that he couldn't wait for him to see his new room and that he had another surprise for him as well.
Harry felt giddy at his godfathers excitement, Sirius always had a way of calming him down and take away any worries he had even if it was only for short while.
''REMUS!" Harry yelled and ran into the embrace of his pseudo godfather.
''Hello cub, everything went well i presume?" He asked as he chuckled, finally he could hold his cub in his arms again, he just wished that Hogwarts could be safe enough for him not to worry about Harry all the time. Every year something happened and every year the headmaster promised him that his cub would be safe.
Harry nodded his on his chest but didn't let go. He had missed Remus just as much as Sirius but he felt a fatherly sort of safety in the arms of Remus. Maybe it was because Moony had adopted him as his cub, he didn't know, but he felt safe and that was all that mattered.
''Good, let's get home then.'' He looked at Ron and then at Sirius who gave him a look that said ''later''.
The ride was shorter then Harry had expected and Ron had distracted him by talking about Quidditch so he wouldn't sit and think about unnecessary stuff.
The black mansion aka Oder of Phoenix hideout wasn't like he remembered, the unwelcoming cramped and dirty atmosphere were non-existent, he no longer felt the depression and insanity seep from the walls from the old Black household and the smothering air that clogged up his senses were now replaced with fresh air.
The walls was painted in eggshell white and the windows were replaced letting the daylight inside. The furniture was also replaced and looked much more welcoming than he remembered, sure he had only been here a couple of time but the difference was outstanding.
''It's so beautiful..'' Harry said in a whispered voice filled with amazement.
''Sure is pup! We thought that if we were going to live here we better make it feel like home!'' Sirius answered feeling proud that he made his puppy like the newly decorated place.
Harry snickered as he watched his godfather puff out his chest. As they made their way to sit down on the couch Harry suddenly felt nervous. Maybe they wouldn't believe him..
''Harry everything is going to be fine, i'm here aren't i? Ron whispered, trying to calm Harry down. He didn't understand were the insecurities came from, sure he knew Harrys relatives were
unpleasant but surely..
Ron was drawn from his thoughts when Sirius and Remus sat down before them on the opposite couch.
''So.. there was something you wanted to speak to us about?'' Sirius started while watching the interactions between the boys. Harry seemed nervous, hurt and confused while the Weasley boy looked worried, supportive and held a glint of anger and concern in his eyes.
Ron started telling them about how he found Harry earlier that morning and about what Harry told him while Harry himself seemed on the verge of tears.
''Pup..'' Sirius started and than stood up to embrace his godson. ''I'm so sorry.'' Harry who was on the verge of tears only moments ago broke down and started to cry his heart out.
The three other men was watching Harry in concern. Harry was strong, independent, intelligent but he was also fragile. He was kind hearted, selfless and loyal but they all noticed his insecurities and how small the boy was.
The summer in second year when Ron and the twins had to go get Harry he'd been concerned about the bars on the window. He had tried making Harry tell him but he always avoided the subject. When Ron asked him about the bruises he saw every summer or if Harry hadn't slept enough there was always an awkward silence until Harry started talking about something else.
Ron had of course not kept it to himself, he had both discussed the matter with Hermione and his mother but both women had told him that Harry always drew danger towards him and the bars was probably there to keep Harry from doing something reckless or to keep danger out. The bruises was probably just from playing to ruffly and Ron himself was up late during the summer either reading or doing the last bit of his summer homework.
Ron had never really believed what they said but since Harry refused to talk about it he putted his concerns aside. There was always something during the school year that kept his thoughts on the present tasks.
''It's alright.. i rather know the truth but.. it just hurts.. i don't know who too trust anymore.. i even doubted Ron!'' Harry said in despair.
Sirius and Remus looked down at Harry and they felt their heart break. Their godson had been through so much and it just kept on coming.
''Harry it's okay, i know how you feel..'' Remus said softly. Harry looked towards Remus in confusion.
''When Sirius was framed i didn't know what to think anymore.. With Lily and James dead and Sirius accused and with all the evidence pointing at him I.. I doubted him.. which left him to rot in Azkaban all this years...'' Remus said as he felt his own tears gather.
''That night i lost everything i cared about, Dumbledore refused to let me care for you, Sirius was a murder, Lily and James dead.. I was all alone once more.. i felt betrayed.'' He paused as he crouched before his godson.
''But now that night in the shed when Sirius was proven innocent i felt anger. Not at Sirius, but at myself. I had betrayed my best friend, my brother in anything but blood. I felt ashamed even though Sirius forgave me..'' Harry looked at Remus with sorrow and understanding. He felt the same, even though Ron hadn't been sent to Azkaban he had still doubted his trust and Harry felt like he had betrayed him even though he'd been forgiven.
Sirius and Ron looked down at the interaction feeling their heart melt, Harry was going to get through this and with Harrys help Remus wouldn't feel so alone.
The clock hit 05.30 p.m and Ron knew that he had to get back home and talk to his mom about Ginny, he was also starting to get hungry but he knew that it was better to leave Harry with his godfathers alone.
''Harry i've got to go, i'll talk to mom about Ginny. I promise everything will be alright. '' He stood up and hugged Harry before taking his things and flowing home.
Harry was sitting in Remus lap, playing with the end of his shirt when he saw Ron waving goodbye, The last 48 hours had been the worst in his entire life, it didn't matter if he was at his relatives house slaving all summer, he rather do that than go through this.
''Harry, love, how about we take your things to your room and then get something to eat?'' Remus asked and Harry nodded his head. He couldn't let himself go all depressed. What done is done and he should look towards the future, he still had his godfathers and Ron and that is more than he could've hoped for.
As he walked up the stairs he started to get giddy, he was going to get a new room! He walked passed Remus room that was closest to the stairs, Remus was a midnight eater and liked to be close to his ''victim of affection''; food.
''We thought you might like to sleep close to the both of us,'' Remus started but Sirius just had to put in his own comment.
''More like we want to sleep close to you!'' Sirius yipped as Remus whacked him in the head.
''That too, so your room is in the middle of ours if that is agreeable?'' Remus asked of course, Harry is a teenage boy and he knew he valued privacy just as much as he had done when he himself was a teenager, exploring and everything..
''Thank you!'' Harry said as he nodded at Remus question. He was grateful to be included in the decision even though it was just about a room.
As they walked in Harry suddenly stopped. The room was painted in pale blue with white curtains. The furniture was in a soft brownish/grey colour that complemented the light walls. The bed was big and looked comfortable but what captured Harrys interested the most was the photo album at the bedside table.
He walked forward and noticed that his parents was on the cover and sighed in happiness.
''We found some old photos in my old room as we renovated.. we thought you might like it.'' Sirius said as he smiled at the child he view as his own.
Harry turned around, clutching the album to his chest as he showed them the brightest, most genuine smile they had ever received.
''Thank you.''
Later, around an hour or two, they sat down at the dinner table. Harry had insisted to cook them something and decided to do something simple. He made rice, with fried chicken breast and cooked vegetable. He new Sirius wasn't fond of vegetables so he decided against doing wok.
''This smells delicious pup!'' Sirius said making Harry flush. Sure he had always cooked and it wasn't often he'd got any complaint from his relatives, then again they always wolfed down their food..
''Thanks..'' He answered feeling flustered.
They ate in comfortable silence, with the exceptions of innocent questions about his studies and such. It wasn't until it was time to do the dishes that problem arrived. Our of the flow came a huffing Ronald Weasley with two other companions.
''That vile woman is unbelievable!'' Ron yelled gaining the attention of the people around the table.
''Ron? Fred? George? What are you doing here?'' Harry asked now in concern over the brothers he come to love as family.
''They are ridiculous! They refuse to listen to reason and now were thrown out of the house 'cause were being unreasonable.'' Ron sneered the end of the sentence in frustration and sat down at the table.
''Is this about Ginny? I'm sorry Ro-'' Harry was cut of by the glares he received from the Weasley boys.
''This is not your fault Harry-kins'' Fred said.
''No this is all Dumbledores influence and lies..'' George continued.
Now both Harry and his godfathers were interested.
''Dumbledore? What does he have to do with anything?'' Remus asked. Sure he didn't trust the man after everything that has happened but what has the headmaster done now?
The Weasley boys snorted and looked at each others before answering.
''What hasn't he done? The meddling old fool has deceived us all. Harry you know how you told me about the money? Well it seems i know who is paying her.''
''If that isn't all we've been payed too.'' Fred said and as soon as he uttered those words Remus wand was at them.
''Fred you dunderhead! Not us, more like our family. Harry had we known we would have told you!'' George continued, making Remus put away his wand.
''How do you know now?'' Harry asked uncertain, he didn't know how much he wanted to know but he knew he need to keep on listening.
''Mom wasn't at home as i supposed she would so i started talking to the twins about Ginny's obsession. They said that they agreed that Ginny was starting to get on their nerves about her constant gibbering about how perfect you two would be together.'' Ron thanked Sirius for the unexpected glass of water he received and took gulp before continuing.
''Anyway, as mom got inside we told her about the incidence in the library and mom just shrugged us of saying that 'of course Harry would marry in to the family.' When we told her that it was bloody insane to assume something like that without Harry showing any interest in Ginny she tried to end the conversation saying it was fixable.'' Harry didn't know how to process this but before Harry could ask anything Sirius growled out his own question.
''Fixable? How is she going to fix it? Surely she wouldn't condone too..'' Sirius asked uncertain but by the firm stares he received by the boys it was confirmed.
''We don't know for sure but by the way they avoided to answer our suspicion we fear that we guessed right.'' George answered.
Harry was now confused and he could tell that Remus was too.
''What is it?'' Harry asked and Ron decided to answer but refused to look him in the eyes, he was to ashamed of his family.
''Love potions... more likely the illegal one.'' Harrys eyes wived, he couldn't believe it.
''Harry were sorry, but we tried to talk sense into them but the more we accused them and threaten them to tell the ministry the more they started to revile more than we wanted to know.'' Harry now looked concerned. They had stood up for him against their family and now they were thrown out of their home because of him.
Harry got up and hugged all three of them before wiping his eyes with his sleeves.
''I'm sorry, i never wanted you too have to stand up for me against your parents.. but thank you.'' Harry hadn't been as hurt as this before but he had never felt so loved either.
''Harry you are just as much family as them, you don't have to marry into the family to become or brother, your as much Weasley as us.'' Fred told him and the other two brothers nodded in agreement.
''But what about the money? You said you knew who it was that payed that Granger girl and your family?'' Sirius decided to ask, he didn't want to interrupted the bonding time between the 4 boys but as much as he needed to know so did Harry.
''It's quiet obvious really, If you think about it who has enough money, but still don't have a clue as just as much he owns, to pay for not only his but his friends school supplies?'' Ron asked. He received only clueless stares.
''Harry do you know how many vaults you own?'' George continued.
''Well i have my trust fond from Hogwarts, i guess there is about a thousand galleons left more or less.'' Harry answered with a shrug of his shoulders.
The three Weasley's sighed at Harrys innocent comment.
''Have you ever talked to someone at the bank Harry? Surely you've received letters right?'' Remus asked as he feared for the worst.
''No.. well i've only talked to this elf called Gruber, he's nice but he doesn't say much and besides i've only been there two times. But i've never received any letters..'' Harry said, now feeling interested.
''How come you've only been there twice?'' Sirius asked.
''Well the first time Hagrid took me there and that was in my first year, the second time was in my third year when i went to stay at the leaky cauldron. The rest of the time Mrs. Wealey has fixed my supplies.. ''
''Are you telling us that Harry has been clueless of his vaults and at the same time payed some sort of salary to Granger and your family?'' Remus asked darkly, feeling the wolf growl in anger.
''Yes.'' Was the only answer Ron gave. Ron was heart broken that every year for four years had they been living on Harrys money and if that wasn't enough Harry had still offered to pay for their school supplies.
''But how? How come you know now but didn't before?'' Remus continued.
''Before we left we found this bundle of letters from Gringotts in one of the living room drawers, we wanted to see if we could find the keys to our separate vaults so we could rent a room at the leaky cauldron with our own savings but instead we found that. The letters is about our monthly vault update and on each of every letter we saw a healthy amount of galleons being transferred each month.'' Fred told them.
''We came here since we was thrown out before we could finish our search though..'' Ron continued.
''But how come i never knew of any of this?..'' Harry asked. He was angry, hurt and confused. Not at his brothers but at the rest of the Weasleys, Granger but most of all at Dumbledore.
''We thought about that too, we think that Dumbledore has made himself your unregistered magical guardian, since your muggle relatives never signed the paper that stated that they would take care of your magical expenses Gringotts probably contacted the headmaster who somehow convinced the goblins to see him as your magical guardian until further notice.'' Sirius answered.
Harry was now banging his head on the table softy. ''Why.'' bang ''Is.'' bang ''it.'' bang ''always.'' bang ''me.''...
Harrys comment eased the tension and made everyone chuckle a bit, which made Harry slightly relax.
''I don't know pup but we will get through this.'' Sirius said while he looked sternly at Remus who nodded.
''Let's start with Dumbledore.'' Remus said darkly.
So far we're still in the magical society, i didn't want to rush to much but we will probably enter forks in the next chapter. This took a while to write and i'm not to sure were i should take this.. should i bash Bella or not? I don't like her so most likely yes.
And i'm slightly annoyed with the usual Edward paring so i think i will make this an Emmet love story since i think he is understood the most in the twilight saga... and cause i think Harry needs a loveable bear instead of a moody boy.
Hope you'll like it and i'll see you next time lovers!
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