Hello! This is something I wrote out of boredom in my classes. Enjoy it!
Naruto is not mine
The great last fight between Hashirama and Madara was going on while Tobirama observed, worried about his brother´s safety. Luckily for him, the one that ended up defeated in the floor was Madara, who couldn´t move anymore. As his brother was too tired to do it anymore, he took out his sword, putting it right over the raven´s hearth. He looked at him, knowing that he was going to die this day.
"Madara, you are finished"
"Wait, Tobirama"
"Why, aniya?" he was furious, was that sorry excuse for a childhood friendship really making the brunette spare the Uchiha? "it´s our chance" tried to make him reason the albino, but just by seeing his brother´s face he knew that the other man was no joking.
"I forbid you to do it" he ordered, for once using the authority a clan leader should have. He turned to his childhood friend, who was looking at him with tired and sad eyes. The brunette suddenly felt the need to soothe the Uchiha, to embrace the raven and tell the most stupid.
"Just get it over with, Hashirama" Madara didn´t want this to drag for much long. "It would be an honour to die by your hand"
"Stop saying that" he tried to keep his calm, but in a situation like this it wasn´t easy. "If I kill the leader of the Uchiha clan, it will only incite the young ones who follow you"
"The isn´t anyone left like that in the Uchiha clan anymore" said the raven with absolute sincerity. He knew that the clan had long since abandoned their leader, tired of war. Madara was tires too, but… trusting old enemies in no attacking them? Not a chance.
"Sure there are" Hashirama was sincere too. "Maybe not now, but give them some time… Come on" he tried to convince the other again. "Why don´t we end this war? We made a promise, remember? To create a village someday" this somehow brought back to their minds the memories of their childhood and what they have done together. "Can´t we go back to skipping rocks together?"
"That´s just impossible" and to prove the point, the Uchiha had the most malicious plan. He asked his former friend to kill himself or his brother to be equals, knowing that there was no way that he would do it. But when he say the man taking off his armour and then putting a kunai in his gut, first the raven asked if he was joking and then hurried his hand to stop the idiot. There was no way the war would end if he died, Tobirama would just continue with it in his memory… even if he wanted it to end. And after that scare… "Okay, we form a village… can you please help me up to my feet?"
"Su… sure" suddenly the older Senju felt awkward, as if touching the hand of the other was embarrassing. When his hand touch the raven´s his face lit up red. The albino raised an eyebrow, not knowing what to think. "On the count of…"
"Just help me up, idiot"
"Hey, don´t talk to my idiot of a brother like that!" he moved and imprudently got in the Uchiha clan head´s way, touching his chest… he immediately went red, as well as his brother and the Uchiha, taking a few steps away from them. The raven hugged his chest. Hashirama got between them, sensing a problem. "Wha… what?"
"Pervert!" now Madara was the one talking. "Is that a way to touch a lady?!"
"Lady?!" everyone except the Uchihas was surprised. It was no secret inside the clan that their leader was a female… a very unfeminine female. In fact, they never intended to keep it a secret, it was just that… no one ever would believe that the great Madara Uchiha was a woman.
"How was I suppose to know that you are a girl?! And it wasn´t my intension to touch you! I would never touch a she male like you! With the way you are dressed and your porcupine hair no one would take you for a female! Even Tokka is more feminine than you!"
"What´s that suppose to mean, Tobirama nii-san?" the mentioned woman got towards her cousin, a vein pulsing in her forehead.
"Oh, shut up, Tokka! I´m talking to the other she male here!" BAM! The punch his cousin gave him in the head send him to the ground. Hashirama, a little bit scared, gave his brother a hand. He was sure now, you should never mess with females. They were scary. "Auch… why does she has to punch me? I just said the truth"
"That was enough reason" after a short talk to apologize in the name of his brother and set a place for the truce to be official, they returned to their compound. They need to pack for the moving that was soon to come. "You know, otouto, you should have stayed where you were. Now Tokka is mad at you."
"I don´t care" he rubbed his bump from where Tokka hit him. "Damn, did she have to hit me so hard?" the brunette nodded, trying some clothes in front of the mirror. Suddenly every piece of clothing he owned seemed lame. His brother looked at him. "You knew he was a she, no?"
"What?"
"Don´t make a fool of yourself, I´m talking about Madara" he nodded, turning a bit red. "How did you find out? No one could believe it."
"I… I… spied on her a few years ago… when we were on the riverside" his face turn redder when he remembered it. "I started to wonder why my friend never went to the bathroom in front of me during our games and… I followed her. She has already taken off her pants when I stood behind her and she turned still" he rubbed his cheek. "When she found out she slapped me so hard that I had a red mark with the form of her hand for a week straight"
"The she male was embarrassed? I thought that she has already been seen by many men naked."
"She was a girl and no" he lowered his gaze. "Don´t say things like that over a lady, more about a clan leader" he turned to the mirror again. "What do you think I should be wearing? This seems too formal and this one… I don´t know if this clothes favoured me"
"Wear anything, I doubt anyone would care as long as it´s formal. Why do you ask?" his brother got quiet. God, why was he acting like that? It was as if he was a thirteen years old!
"And my hair? Should I bath? Yes, obviously I should bath, I´m covered in sweat!" he said after smelling himself. "A good cologne would be needed too…"
"Hashirama, what are you doing?"
"Nothing"
"Seriously"
"Nothing!" he yelled turning around. Tobirama got even more suspicious. Yes, his brother was strange, but he never acted like that, specially yelling at him. And since when he was so ridiculously interested in his appearance. "Noting at all, little brother. Why don´t you go outside? I bet you can find more interesting things to do than seeing me"
"Aniya…"
"Go, go, I´m okay" he smiled, trying to appear okay even if he was so nervous inside that he was going to faint. Outside, Tokka was watching them with disbelieve. She was just trying to find a way to take revenge on Tobi for calling her a she male, not to find out that Hashirama had some problems with females. "Oh, hello, Tokka-chan"
"Hello, Hashirama nii-san" no, he wasn´t like that with her. Maybe she should just observe the situation for now and discover what was really happening with his cousin. "Ummm, if you had a problem, you would tell me and Tobi nii-san, no?"
"But of course! I would share anything with you!"
"Hope so" she turned around and left. He sighed then and continued choosing his clothing. A depressive cloud appeared over his head. "Ummm, Madara was right, my clothes are lame" he threw them away. "I don´t have anything to wear!"
"What?" she asked, still with an ear on the wall. This was a juicy gossip, her cousin, the Senju clan head, searching for an Uchiha female´s approbation? Who would have said.
"I need something…"
"Oh, he needs help"
-On the peace conference-
"Thank you" Hashirama whispered when he shook Madara´s hand in a sign of friendship between their clans. He was surprised when the Uchiha appeared in her usual clothing, even a little bit disappointed… not because she didn´t look good, she did! She always did in his eyes! But… she would look prettier in a kimono… this send heat straight to his face, making him curse at his luck. He was actually blushing in front of a girl.
"Hashirama, are you alright?" the raven asked, concerned when they got away from the central point. "You are a bit red… do you have a fever?"
"No"
"But…"
"I´m okay!" the brunette tried to get away. Tokka, who was following them, raised an eyebrow. Was he awkward with girls? But with she, he was normal… then again, the man and her grew up together and were as close as siblings, there was no way she was a good example. Hum, then again… maybe she should follow them before she makes a wrong idea in her head. "Do… do you want to go to the… the…"
"Hey, look someone is preparing inarizushi! Let´s eat some" Madara went to order it and the brunette just followed. He wasn´t a fan of inarizushi, his cousin knew that, why was he eating that with her? The woman that was attending it was young and pretty, so she prepared for her cousin to make a fool of himself.
"Two orders" he said naturally, sending the girl a shinning smile that could make anyone fell in love with him… but was useless against the Uchiha. They left while the girl stared at him with hearths in her eyes. "Thank you"
"What the hell is happening here?" she asked still following.
"Madara… do you… do you…" he went red again, scratching his nape like a teen. Then she realised it. The problem wasn´t with every girl, the problem was just with Uchiha Madara. "Do you… do you… ermmmm… I… you… ehhh…"
"What?" she was confused. Why was Hashirama suddenly acting like this? He wasn´t like that even when they went to the battlefield to fight against each other. "Is something the matter? Do you want to talk about something?"
"Do you… do you…" he tried to say the words, but with her looking at his eyes like that it was hard to concentrate. The blush spread. "Do you want to… go to the river with me? Like friends, I mean, there is no way that…"
"Sure, why not? You are my best friend" Tokka sighed. Now she knows what was happening. She crossed her arms and left the leaders alone. She went straight to his cousin´s new house, which was only wood for now and sat down in the living room, waiting for him. Tobirama won´t come, after all he now had his own house. A few hours later a red faced Senju arrived, hitting himself for not being able to talk to his best friend as normally as he wanted.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid" he berated in low voice. "It´s just a girl… your best friend… a girl… a female… a very gorgeous female" he choked. "What am I saying?! I have to focuss…"
"Trouble with girls, nii-san?" he jumped when he sensed her in the room. "Of course, you are so stupid that it doesn´t surprise me anymore" she walked towards him. "What? Are you not going to offer me a tea?"
"Why are you here?!"
"I saw you making a fool of yourself in the battlefield in front of a girl… worst in fact" she glared at him. "At first I thought that you were awkward with girls, something you should have gotten over in puberty" her eyes were piercing her. "But I saw you with other females and realised you were not as incapable as I thought"
"Thank…"
"Don´t interrupt me!" she ordered, startling him. "You are truly hopeless! What kind of men your age have trouble to talk to a woman? And worse, to the woman he likes!" he went red at once. "Are you a thirteen years old or what? You know her since childhood!"
"I… I…" he couldn´t talk. For the first time in her life, Tokka felt more powerful than him. And being more powerful than the God of Shinobi was something incredible. "I… am… I… she… me… and her… well…"
"Okay, I understand, you are shy near her. It´s obvious for you to feel like that being trapped in the friendzone and everything" he took a few steps back. "Don´t worry, I have the perfect plan to break you out." She smiled at him. "Nii-san, I´m going to teach you how to win a girl. Learning from me you couldn´t possible fail."
"Are you… are you not a girl yourself?"
"Exactly! You are learning about women´s feelings from a woman, there is no way you can mess this up!" Hashirama was unsure, but there was no way his cousin was letting him out of this. Well, this could be worse… no, there was no way. he was going to make a fool of himself in front of the woman he loved. What could be worse.
-The next week-
"Okay, stage one… talk to her" the female Senju strolled around next to her cousin, who was just elected Hokage. She has been giving him some lessons, as she liked to call them, but he couldn´t understand them. "Say pretty things to her, like that she looks good, or that her hair is nice… whatever you can think of" They saw Madara on one of the stands in the market, buying tomatoes. "There she is, talk to her"
"I can´t!"
"Stop chickening out and talk to her!" she screamed. Pushing him towards the Uchiha female, he stopped in his tracks midway, trembling from head to toe. His cousin shook her head. This was a lost case. "Stupid"
"He… hello… Madara… I…" he waved his hands. He remembered the last time they saw each other, she smiled so beautifully that he lost his words completely. The Uchiha gave him a glare, she wasn´t in the mood to see him. He promised to make her Hokage, but didn´t keep it. "He… hey, don´t look at me like that. I tried to make you Hokage, but…"
"But what?" she knew exactly why he couldn´t make her Hokage. One, his brother was an anti Uchiha idiot that convinced everyone not to make her their leader. Two, the other clan heads were brainwashed by him… not that they have a brain to wash. And three… THEY WERE ALL MALIST IDIOTS! They could not accept that a woman was better than the most of them! "Forget it"
"Come on, don´t be like that" he followed her. "In the next clan meeting you can tell them some things about your plans to allow more females into the shinobi ranks…"
"Their Neanderthal brains aren't ready for that" she bit her lips.
"Easy there" he lowered his head, not knowing what to do. "You know… your hair… is so pretty that… black" she looked at him. "Like a raven´s wings or the nightly sky"
"Really?" she asked. "My parents always told me that it wasn´t pretty, that it makes me look like a porcupine. It can´t be helped, even if I brush it, it wouldn´t stay down" she touched it. "They also said that I was so ugly that they believed that I was never going to get a man" she sighed "You know, that was the reason I joined the shinobi ranks in the first place. They thought that if I was not worthy enough as a female, I will be as a warrior."
"Oh, that´s horrible"
"Nah, it was the best thing they did for me" she smiled wickedly. "I loved the training and surpassing their expectances. When I started beating the boys my age my father couldn´t believe it!" she laughed "I progressed so fast that in a few months I got powerful enough to replace my dead brothers as clan heir, even if Izuna was there. And here I am now, one of the few female clan heads and sparing as equals with the God of Shinobi."
"Yes…" he saw the things on his hands. Then he remembered something his father taught him when he was younger. "Can I carry your bags for you?"
"Why?! Do you think I´m weak?!"
"NOOOO!" he tried to apologize, but she was already storming off to her own house. He was left there weeping, with Tokka approaching him and putting a hand on his shoulder. "What did I do wrong? My father always carried the bags for my mother."
"Yes, but she is not like your mother" the woman shook his head. "Mandaku, you are really hopeless. You were making some progress and you just have to ruin it with your big stupid mouth." She glared. "Next time I will make sure you succeed"
"I´m fearing for my life now"
"Don´t be a baby and follow me" she guided him to another part of the market, where the stands were full of jewellery and silk. "Now… you are going to apologize to her. But not any apologize. You are going to go with a gift"
"A… a gift? What kind of gift could I give to her? Madara doesn´t like anything in here"
"Come on, she is a woman. Of course she like them" she pushed them towards the stand. "Now go there and pick something."
"I… ummm" why does he has to feel so ashamed when he was around Madara? The Uchiha plagued his mind, specially that beautiful smile she gave him the day he said he wanted her to be Hokage. Ohhhhhhh, now that was so amazing… a cheerful salute took him out of his dream.
"Hokage-sama! It´s an honour for me to have you here!" the girl on the stand smiled at him, making him smile too, but just to be educated with her. "What are you doing here? Are you looking for something? Something for a… female friend?"
"Yes. Can you show me your merchandise?" she went to the back of the shop and pulled out a box of her best merchandise. He started looking at the expensive silks and shiny jewels that she pulled out. Then something caught his attention. It was dark, like the night, but also pretty. Just like… "What about this?"
"That? Well… it´s made of the best silk, but no one was interested in it" the girl showed him the kimono and the obi that came with it. "Most women liked the lively designs more, like sakura blossoms or koi fishes. The nightly sky doesn´t seem to get on with her."
"But I know Madara will like this" she ooohed and nodded. Hashirama looked at the kimono again, moving it to see the star pattern in white. The woman then pulled something out, it was a necklace with a crystal star. "What is that?"
"Something… I think it would look cute along with the kimono. I will even sell it to you half price" she smiled, putting both things into a box. "Good luck!"
"Good…"
"Thank you… crazy" Tokka grabbed her cousin and took him away, as well as the box. They started walking towards the Uchiha compound. The man was trembling form head to toe, making his gift move. She rolled her eyes, he really was hopeless. "Come on, you are going not going to visit the damnyo, you are going to talk to Madara"
"That´s the problem, I can´t… I…" he started trembling again. "I should leave her the gift with a letter and go back home. I bet she doesn´t like seeing me…"
"Let me get this straight" she stopped in her tracks, standing in front of him. "You can go to fight in a deathly battle without fear, but talking to a girl… to your best friend… send you into a panic attack?" he nodded. "You are truly unbelievable!"
"I am, so now…"
"Ohhhh, no mister, you are not going to escape this one" she tossed him towards the door of the main house of the compound. "Enter there and apologize like a man"
"Tokka!"
"You are going to thank me later" she disappeared from sight.
"Ehhhh, wait, To…!"
"Hashirama? Is that you?" Madara opened the door to her house in that moment. He went stiff in a second and turned around, paling when he looked at the female. She was wearing her usual attire, something that definitely would make her pass for a male, but even like that she was the prettiest thing he ever saw. "What are you doing here?"
"I… I wanted to apologize for offending you" he said at full speed, putting the box in front of his face. "Here, a peace offering. Hope you like it, I…"
"Why don´t you come in?" she accepted the gift, opening her door more. "I just made some warm tea, you can drink some with me" the raven waited until he was inside to close the door, then poured some hot tea for the two of them. "Here, drink it while it´s warm" his hands were shaking so much that he nearly couldn´t take the cup. They sat in the living room in silence. "So… you wanted to apologize? There is no need, I overreacted."
"Th… thank you for forgiving me"
"Don´t worry, I know you only wanted to be gentle" she put her cup on the floor. "But if you ever EVER again make something that makes me look weak, then I will rip your intestines out and trap you into the Tsukuyomi for your last moments, got it?"
"Got it" he said. The poor brunette has been the victim of Madara´s Tsukuyomi enough times for him to know that his best friend, the pretty little thing he was so in love with, can be utterly sadistic. While he was so caught in his thoughts about horrible tortures that were only capable of existing inside of his friend´s illusion world, she pulled the box towards herself. She looked at it as if wondering if she should open it.
"An apologize gift, eh? Wonder what you got me" she opened the box with an amused expression. She was surprised when she found a silk kimono inside of it, dark as the night with white stars. "This…"
"If you don´t like it, I can give it back and…"
"No, no, I like it, it´s just that… no one ever gifted me a kimono before" she put it over her body. "Of course I have a few of them… my mother had plenty and when she died I inherited them, but… my parents always treated me as if I was a boy, especially after I begin training. They often gave me some kunai, swords, an expensive set of shurikens… whatever, boy stuff… so this is the first kimono that is… mine."
"I… am glad you liked it"
"More than… what is this?" there was a tiny jewellery box. She opened it, finding the shinny star necklace. "This… how many of my first things are you going to steal? You just gifted me my first jewel."
"Really?"
"What part of "I was another son to my parents" did you don´t understand?" she moved a little bit nervous, turning around and putting her hair out of the place to show him her neck. "Come here"
"What?!" his face was red.
"Are you going to help me to put it on or not? Because I can´t do it alone, I never have to" with shaky hands, the Senju approached and took the lock, slowly putting the chain around the white neck of his friend. After many tries, he managed to lock it and released it, sending a final look at the gorgeous neck of the other before it was covered by the hair. "Thank you, it is pretty"
"Glad you…"
"You have already said that" she smiled at him. "Why don´t we get out of here? I´m getting sick of staying home" she grabbed the kimono. "I´m going to hang this, wait for me here. Then we can go to the Naka river and spar a bit" the woman laughed. "You will see how I can defeat you easily!"
"Not a chance" now he was more comfortable. Madara and him in the river, like when they were kids. Exactly the kind of thing he was accustomed to. "Ready to go?"
"Yes" she appeared with her scythe and gunbai. "Come on, Senju. Let´s dance together"
-Later-
"And we danced… oh, how much I love to see her dance" Hashirama was daydreaming while his cousin sweat dropped, putting another bandage in his arm. He had multiple cuts because he was too busy staring at Madara´s nearly hypnotic movements to take a good care of himself and cover from the scythe. She placed another bandage on his forehead. "Hey, Tokka, not so tight. It hurts."
"Sorry… but you realise that you weren´t exactly dancing, no? Well, at least not like an ordinary couple" she tried to make him reason, but his mind was in a world so full of ponies, cupids and hearths that he didn´t even heard her. "Okay… you are in love and finally able to talk to her without stuttering or making a fool of yourself, that´s great"
"I… I spent a lot of time… dreaming of the day"
"Oh, come on, you just spar" she tightened his bandages just to make him come down to earth and speak with him as a normal person. "Look, nii-san, you advanced a lot today, but you are going to need to put more effort if you want to win her."
"Win her… yes, that would be nice" he then realised. "Hey, Tokka, are you going to help me win Madara over, no?"
"It depends, what are your intentions with her?" she said suspiciously. The Senju female was worried about the village. If he did something wrong to their leader, the Uchihas will rise. Even if she could see the sincere love her cousin had for the Uchiha a mile away, she was forced to ask.
"I… I have been in love with her since I met her" he lowered his head, going red again. "I don´t know… how to ask her… but… I want to marry her" his sincerity made her want to help him even more. "I… can´t even ask her for a date."
"Well, you have some confidence issues, we will have to work on them" she conceded. "Why don´t you ask the Uchiha elder council? They have the power to give away any female of their clan, even the princess or clan head. I bet the old farts will say yes, there is no way anyone would refuse the Hokage."
"I… want to include her in this. I want to be able to court her first, to make her fell in love with me, not just forcing her to accept me as her husband" so cute! This made him look even more than a little kid trying to impress a girl! And he was so sweet, trying to win her over instead of just asking for her hand! That surely made him better than many other men.
"Okay, I will help you" the female Senju said. "But this is going to be a long battle, so prepare yourself" he nodded confident that he will achieve it… or at least to talk to Madara outside the riverside without stuttering. "Let´s do this… oh, first you have to promise me something."
"What?"
"Don´t even try to peep at her naked before marriage… ever" she glared at him. "If you do I´m going to kill you like the dog you are and catch your head on fire… or worse" she smiled "I´m going to tell Tobirama nii-san!"
"There was no need to treat me, I understand" he raised his hands. This was going to be a long and agonizing battle, probably the longest and most difficult one he face… but to get Madara´s love he was determined to do everything.
-A year later-
"Something strange is going on here" Tobirama talked to himself when he saw his brother walking alongside Madara through the village. He grabbed the new set of kunai he just bought and walked right behind them. The female was smiling at the brunette and he did the same. It was as if they were… "No, that´s not possible."
"What is not possible, nii-san?" asked Tokka, appearing from behind him. The albino looked at her, controlling himself and making as if he knew the whole time she was there. "Ohhh, you must be talking about Madara-sama, no?" she smiled wickedly. "Cute girl. A little bit hard on the edges but…"
"I was not asking about that" the white haired Senju glared at her. "Tell me exactly what is going on here right this moment or I will…"
"Or you will what?" she continued, sending him a fun filled look. "Come on, tell me. What will you do? To your own cousin, who isn´t making anything wrong" she put a hand on her forehead. "What a cruel nii-sama I have!"
"Stop faking and tell me"
"Hummmm… no, I don´t want to" she answered. "Good luck trying to guess what is "the strange thing" that is happening, dear!"
"Okay, don´t do it, I will find it myself" he stormed away, leaving her to her thoughts. Tobirama for his part, followed them from a distance, to see what the couple was doing. He nearly had a hearth attack when he found out that his brother was courting the Uchiha clan leader. After recovering with some oxygen, he was furious. But really furious beyond believe. "I have to stop this nonsense" he grabbed a paper and ink. "Time to call desperate messures."
