Give and Take.

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Sam reflectively passed his thumb back and forth over the little bronze-coloured object lying in his hand.

He had been nine when he had given it to Dean.

Gifts were a rare occasion in the Winchester household and the happiness he had seen in his thirteen year old brother's eyes when he had stripped away the paper had repaid him a hundred-fold.

X

He remembered how he had badgered Bobby on a visit that summer, asking him if there was anything that he didn't need which he could give to his dad at Christmas.

Bobby had looked at him with an expression on his face that his young self hadn't understood at the time but now he did.

It had meant 'that obsessed father of yours needs a kick in the ass for Christmas, for the way he's raising you kids' but the older hunter had merely said he would see if he had anything that might do.

John had unexpectedly turned up to get his boys back and Sam had sent a pleading gaze at Bobby to remind him of what he had asked, afraid that when they left John might not come back to Sioux Falls for months.

Bobby had called him into the library and pushed this little amulet into his hand. "You can give this to your dad," he had said gruffly. "It's for protection."

Sam had closed his hand around it, remembering how happy he had felt

Finally he had a real gift to give at Christmas.

He had wanted to ask for Dean too but he hadn't thought it fair that Bobby should have to part with two of his possessions, and anyway he knew that Dean would understand.

As fate would have it, the gift had gone to Dean.

X

Sam sighed.

He had fished it out of the trashcan when they had come back from Heaven, unable to let it be lost in some rubbish heap. He had understood that Dean was angry and hurt by what he had seen of Sam's memories, but those three memories had been practically the only ones that hadn't included Dean!

The damn angels had dissected his brain and let his big brother see only what they had wanted him to, hoping to whip up the hostility between them so that the future battle between 'Lucifer' and 'Michael' would be even more rancorous.

He had managed to keep the amulet with him in his duffel until his last nights on Earth before Stull Cemetery and then he had hidden it away at Bobby's.

X

When he had been resurrected as Robo-Sam he had never given it a thought, but when his soul had set eyes on Dean again for the first time in one hundred and eighty years, sitting there in Bobby's library, his mind had flown to the little object and he had retrieved it from its hiding place the first chance he got.

Since then he had never been parted from it, carrying it around like some lucky charm waiting for the right moment to present it to Dean again but somehow that moment had never arrived, mostly because he still wasn't certain that Dean would accept it.

He had never once mentioned the amulet and Sam honestly didn't know if he regretted having thrown it away.

X

He turned it around in his hand, the rays of sunshine filtering through the motel room's window playing on it, making it glow yellow.

Castiel had said it was a beacon; that it would light up when God was in the vicinity.

Sam chuckled to himself. Right! That had been the biggest fairy-tale he had ever heard and he didn't believe it even if the angel had insisted it was true.

A God GPS, this ugly little amulet? No way!

X

X

He was so deep in his thoughts that when Dean burst through the door in his usual brash manner, the damn thing slipped from his fingers onto the carpet. He stood up quickly and put his foot over the necklace, a panicked expression on his face.

X

"Uh, Dean," Sam stuttered. "I wasn't expecting you back so early."

Dean stared at him in surprise.

"Dude, I was only going out for food and coffee. It's not as if I had to cook it myself or anything. Is there something up? Did I interrupt anything? You don't have some hot chick hidden away in the bathroom, do you?" he leered.

Sam huffed. "That's more your modus operandi than mine Dean."

X

Dean took a step towards him as Sam stood unmoving.

"Now I know that something is up. When you start quoting Latin it means you're nervous, Sammy"

""No, I'm not!" Sam replied indignant. "That's bullshit!"

"Sorry, but it is true," Dean insisted suspiciously" You're up to something."

X

Sam could feel the blood rising to his cheeks.

Great, how could he have been so careless as to let the darn thing slip out of his hand.

He was afraid to look down for his brother's eyes were on him and he wasn't sure if his foot had covered the amulet and its leather string completely. Dean's hawk eyes missed very little!

X

They stood there in silence for a minute like two gunslingers waiting for the right moment to pull out their guns and take the shot, until Dean's eyes raked enquiringly down Sam's body to the floor.

"What's that on the carpet?" he asked.

"On the carpet?" Sam repeated flustered. "There's nothing on the carpet."

"There's a black wiggly thread under the table," Dean said, "Right next to your foot."

"No there's not!"

Dean deposited the bags of food on the table and bent down to pick it up, grasping it in his hand and pulling.

"Sam! What the hell!. Get your foot off it," Dean ordered as he tugged unsuccessfully.

"No," Sam replied, not moving his foot from where it was planted over the amulet, knowing that there was nothing he could do to stop Dean from seeing what was there, but stubbornly trying to put it off as long as possible.

X

Something in his brother's voice made Dean pause, and he stood up releasing the leather cord.

Sam didn't want him to see what he was hiding under his foot. It was clearly important to him and so Dean held his hands up in a placating gesture.

"Okay, man. I get it. It must be something really personal if you don't want me to take it."

He knew what he would see when he looked at his brother and he wasn't mistaken. The puppy eyes were glazed with moisture.

Dean turned away.

"Go on, pick it up, Sammy. I promise I won't look," he said softly as if he was speaking to a child.

Sam was no child, he knew that, he was a hardened hunter like himself but his little brother sometimes had the aspect and aura of a five-year old and when he was in that persona, Dean could deny him nothing.

He heard Sam bend down and retrieve whatever it was that he had been afraid or too embarrassed to show him, but he said nothing and instead began to open the bags and pull out the food.

X

"Dean," Sam said softly. "You pissed?"

"No, Sam, I'm not," he answered as he turned towards his brother. "Why should I be? You've a right to your privacy. Hell, there's many a thing I haven't shared with you so, I get it."

"Dean," Sam repeated his brother's name again. " The last thing I want to do is keep this a secret. I want so much to let you see what it is but I'm scared..."

Dean stared at him, really curious now. "Scared? Sam, you're really starting to worry me here. You're acting weird."

He lifted a hand to his brother's forehead. "No fever so you're not delirious anyway."

X

Sam drew back.

"I'm not sick, Dean," Sam said rolling his eyes. "It's just..."

"Sam, whatever it is that's eating at you either spit it out or forget it 'cos I'm hungry and the food's getting cold."

X

Sam felt the amulet burning in his pocket.

He had never found what he considered to be the right moment to show it to Dean but he realized that this was the closest he had ever come.

He was tired of avoiding the issue and he was ever more convinced that there would never be the perfect moment; there was no guarantee that Dean would accept the amulet no matter how long he waited.

He gathered up his courage; he would show it to him now and if Dean threw it back in his face, he would at least know the score.

X

Without another word, he slowly pulled the amulet out of his jeans and placed it on the table next to the bags. He braced himself for what was to come, good or bad as it might be.

He watched with bated breath as Dean took in the object lying on the table, his eyes going from it to Sam, his gaze unreadable.

Dean's hand trembled a little as stretched out his arm and closed his hand round the amulet.

X

"Hey, you found it Sam, I'd been searching for it but I thought that I had lost it for good some time back. I missed the little shit hanging round my neck. Good job you managed to find it," Dean said with an unsteady voice, lifting it up and putting it round his neck.

If that was the way Dean wanted to go, Sam would play along.

Seeing his brother take it and put it round his neck made him feel so happy and relieved that he wasn't going to question anything Dean might say.

"Thanks Sammy," he said locking glances with his little brother.

Everything that Dean needed to transmit was in that look; love, understanding, regret sorrow, a look Sam returned to sender with no no less intensity than how it had been delivered.

X

The Winchesters sat down to eat, both their thoughts going back to the scruffy motel room so long ago, when the first giving and accepting had taken place but they had been children then, unaware of what fate had in store for them.

This renewed give and take was much more powerful because now they did know!

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