Just a bit of Jaime/Brienne hurt/comfort after The Bear and the Maiden Fair. I know, I know, as usual I'm a few seasons behind the rest of the world.
Disclaimer: You all know I own none of this and I'm not making any money from it.
Jaime Lannister watched the woman closely as he stumbled along a few steps behind her. The pain and recent fever had left him drained and without his usual stamina. His daring but rather ridiculous rescue had taken a lot out of him and the subsequent race through the forest to safety had taken the last of it. It was dark now but still they traipsed onwards, the bannermen that were with them carrying on wearily as they continued to put distance between them and Harrenhal. Brienne though, marched along as though she had all the strength in the world, despite having gone head to head with a bear mere hours ago. It appeared that she would never stop, never get tired or hungry or footsore or even bored. Jaime was bored of slogging through wilderness and he was about ready for it all to stop.
Eventually the march ground to a halt and the men gathered a few things together to build a fire. They had little in the way of provisions and besides everyone was a little too tired and cold to bother to cook so once the fire was build most men just lay round it and went straight to sleep. Jaime realised that Brienne had managed to slip away from him in the dark so he went to go look for her.
It took a few minutes of wandering around before he almost tripped over her. She'd picked a place away from the rest of the men in the camp and had curled up in a foetal position in the lea of a great tree, in an attempt to get some sleep. The tree while giving some protection from the wind did little to keep out the chill and all she had on was that awful pink dress. Jaime stood over her and could see her shivering as she pretended, badly, that she was asleep.
"You should be by the fire." Jaime said stood over her.
When she said nothing, trying to keep up the charade Jaime shrugged and started collecting kindling. He worked for a few minutes to collect a pile suitable for a fire. He then pulled a small tinder box from his pocket. He knelt on the ground and wedged the tinder box between his knees as he struggled to get it open and use the items inside with one hand. After struggling for a few minutes, Brienne sighed and sat up. She took the box off him and struck the flint over the fire. It caught light with the first sparks and soon they had a fire crackling to life.
"Thank you." Jaime said, sincerely, hating how feeble and awkward he had become.
"It is I who should be thanking you." Brienne said quietly.
"But you won't." Jaime smiled. "Because it's not in your nature to accept help from a man."
Brienne stayed quiet at that.
As the flames grew it was easier to see her. There were some nasty gouges on her neck from the bears claws that needed seeing to. Jaime pulled a clean rag from his pocket and his flask of water. He damped the rag and then reached out to wipe the blood from her wound as gently as he could. Brienne flinched away before he could touch her.
"This needs cleaning. I should get the Maester to see to it." He said, trying not to be offended at the way she had reacted to his attempt at help.
"No!" She said harshly then, keeping her voice low so the rest of the camp wouldn't hear.
Jaime nodded. "Okay, so will you let me clean it up? You don't want it to get infected."
She gave him a look that was hard to read, but eventually she nodded.
Jaime reached out with the cloth again and although she flinched again when he touched her, her reaction was not so violent this time. As gently as he could he wiped the excess blood away and cleaned the wound of the dirt that had gotten in it. She held still, her body tensed as though ready for battle. There were many scrapes and scratches and he searched her in the firelight and cleaned them all. She endured his touches stoically, her jaw set tightly.
"Are you angry at me?" Jaime asked.
"No." Brienne said, but she said it coldly and it didn't have Jaime convinced.
One of the cuts disappeared under the sleeve of her gown. He moved the cloth off her shoulder to get at it and stopped when he saw her bare shoulder. "This is from no bear." He said, inspecting the wound. "This is from a knife." He continued down a little way to expose her arm. "And these bruises are from a hand. My lady what did they do to you?"
He looked at her in the face but she hung her head low, he took her chin and lifted her face so that their eyes met. Her eyes glistened with tears and it made him want to well up too. He'd had no idea when he'd met this cantankerous old maid that she would have this effect on him.
"I'm going to go back there and kill them all!" He growled angrily.
Brienne's hand shot out and grabbed his arm to stop him. Unfortunately the arm she grabbed was his right forearm, just above the stump. "Don't!" She said, gazing down her hand and the dirty bandages where Jaime's used to be. The hand that he had lost trying to save her from the fate she had ended up with anyway.
"I should have come back sooner." Jaime said guiltily. "I should never have left you there."
"You are not to blame Kingslayer." Brienne said. So it was back to nasty nicknames again Jaime noted. "You believed I would be ransomed off home to my father."
"You might've been if they hadn't believed ridiculous tales of sapphire mines. And that was my doing to."
"In an attempt to save me. No, the fault is mine and mine alone. I should have fought harder. I should have made them kill me as you would've done."
"I speak big words but when it comes down to it, my fight against them was painfully short before they dehanded me." He went back to cleaning the cuts, more gentle now, knowing the reasons for her flinching. What these men had done to her made him feel sick, that such a strong woman could be used so despicably.
He reached into his pocket for a pot of salve but he found he couldn't get it open with one hand. She didn't say anything, just took it off him and opened it before handing it back.
He nodded at her but didn't say anything, just smeared some onto his fingers and brushed it across her wounds.
"I should have been there to stop it." Jaime said after a moment.
"I should have been strong enough to stop them myself." Brienne said angrily. "I learnt long ago not to expect a brave knight to save me."
Jaime looked at her, his eyes boring into hers, trying to read the depths of her soul. "You know as well as I that the brave knights of the stories don't exist."
"It is a soldiers right to take a woman as a spoil of war is it not? The woman's wants are not oft brought into the equation. Though I am hardly a woman."
"It's no one's right to take that from you by force." Jaime said, still simmering as he applied the salve.
"And you're telling me the Kingslayer never took a woman to his bed to celebrate his victory. Never sacked and burned villages and dragged girls young and old onto his cock. All knights and soldiers do, it is expected of them." She was incredibly angry now and slapped his hand away from her body. "Why should my body be worth more than those innocent village girls? At least I am the spoil of a war I chose to fight in, they never did."
"Don't speak like that?" Jaime said sadly.
"Like what? Truthfully? You feign humility now? Well it doesn't help those girls you stole from now does it?"
"I never have." Jaime said quietly. "I don't expect you to believe me, but I have to say it anyway. I have never touched a girl who didn't want me to touch her. And I've stopped others from doing it too. I am sorry I could not stop whole armies, and I'm sorry I could not stop them from doing what they did to you."
Brienne stopped then and looked at him, trying to determine whether he was telling her lies or not.
"Would you like me to finish cleaning your wounds, or shall I let them fester?" Jaime said.
When she didn't reply he reached out tentatively and continued her ministrations.
"I have accused you of a horrible thing." She said eventually. "Why do you still wish to help me?"
"Your pain is fresh. And I am sure you have your reasons for distrust of men. But I want you to know that while you probably shouldn't trust me either, I won't ever see to harm you in that way. There." He said, pulling his hand away and putting the salve back in his pocket. "You should let your wounds breathe, I'm afraid I won't be much help when it comes to wrapping them anyhow. Do you have any other injuries that need tending?"
Brienne shook her head.
"Okay," Jaime unclasped the woolen cloak he was wearing and slipped it off his shoulders. "You should get some sleep." He draped the cloak over her as she lay back down. She curled in on herself staring into the fire a while until she noticed that Jaime on the other side of the fire was shivering.
"Here," she said, sitting back up and offering the cloak to her. "You're cold. It won't do your fever any good to freeze tonight."
"And yet, you have been injured too. I believe tonight you need it more than I."
"Then come here and we will share." Brienne said calmly. "We will be warmer with each other's bodies anyway."
Jaime gave her a confused look but didn't hesitate in moving beside her. He lay down next to her, she went back to her foetal position staring at the fire and he fitted his body in against hers, pressing his chest into her back and tucking his knees up behind hers. He'd slept with plenty of girls like this, usually with his arm draped over their tiny bodies, cradling them closer to him for warmth and the pleasure of flesh on flesh. This was different, for starters there was no skin contact, Brienne wasn't some little creature that his body enveloped, she was taller than him by an inch for Gods sake but it didn't feel unnatural. They were in this together now, had both been hurt worse than they'd imagined and it felt good to have someone to share that with.
"What happened to you to hate all men so?" He whispered into her ear, more a thought aloud than a question expecting and answer.
He certainly didn't expect her to open up to him. "I didn't always. There was a time when I believed in brave men and all the heroic stories that came with them. You know I had an older brother?"
Jaime didn't, he knew where Tarth Island was but beyond that he did not know much about the house that ruled there. He'd never cared much for politics and since he'd never gone to war with them then he hadn't bothered to find out.
Brienne, it seemed, didn't need him to answer anyway. "My brother was brave and strong, a great swordsman and my father's most trusted knight. I was in awe of him growing up, wanted to fight like him, be as brave as him and hoped one day to marry a man who lived up to his legacy. But there was one night he came home from battleā¦" She stuttered not sure how to move forward with the story, or possibly why she was even telling it. "My father threw him a great feast and all his best soldiers were invited. I was only 12 and so had been sent to bed once the festivities reached the early hours. It wasn't long after that one of my brothers closest friends broke down my door and stumbled into my bedchamber. He stripped me bare and had me tied to the bed with his belt when my brother came in. I was so sure he was there to rescue me but instead he laughed and said 'you should enjoy it Sister, there won't be many men who want to fuck you with your horse face and giant body'. He left me to his friend and I could still hear his laughter down the corridor as his friend entered me. I knew then that I could only be protected if I learned to protect myself."
Jaime didn't say anything but he reached over her body and wrapped his arm across her waist, careful to move slowly so he didn't make her jump. "I'll help protect you if you help protect me." He whispered in her ear. He hated that he thought of himself as needing protection now, but the hard fact was that it was true, with his sword hand gone he was vulnerable. He'd never thought of Brienne as vulnerable before either but it seemed neither of them were as strong as they'd like to be. That rat-faced little man and his cronies had done this to them both and he swore that he would make the man pay.
