"I take pride in my impeccably good judgement."
Emily had told him that before. She couldn't remember the context or the conversation, but it wasn't true. Aaron Shore was living, breathing proof of that.
She hated the way he made her feel. All that occupied her mind was how right kissing him had felt, but how wrong it had actually been. It had made her finding out about the phone call even harder. Here she was, falling for this guy, only to find out that he might be an accessory to mass murder. What she hated even more, was that she still felt that way about him. She wanted him in every sense of the word, and that wasn't going to change. Even though she could never have him, her mind tortured her by refusing to let go of the memories. How warm and perfect his lips had been on hers was a feeling she couldn't forget, no matter how hard she tried.
Silent, angry, tears of frustration formed in her eyes as she tried to focus on whatever she was supposed to be doing, but had no such luck.
"Dammit!" Emily yelled, slamming her fists down on the table and hanging her head in defeat.
Moments later, the door opened and Aaron himself walked in.
"Hey, are you okay?" he asked, the look of concern on his face genuine.
"I'm fine." she stated flatly, avoiding his gaze as she collected her papers. Normally she would do her work in his office, but not now.
"Sorry, I just heard a noise and wanted to check if you're okay."
"Yeah, I'm okay." she said in an almost dismissive tone.
Aaron sighed.
"Why don't you tell me what's really going on?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You've been acting off lately."
"I've just been stressed, we all have." she said, really just wanting to get out of there.
"Emily, you can barely look me in the eyes anymore. I'm willing to go out on a limb here and say that's not due to stress."
"I'm not doing this with you right now, Aaron." she grumbled, trying to walk past him but being stopped by him softly grabbing her hand.
"You can't just keep pushing me away like this."
The pain in his voice made the air around them seem ten times heavier and it was one of the most painful things she'd ever had to endure.
"Please just talk to me. What's going on?"
She held his gaze for a split second. Any longer, she would have broken down. The hurt and worry for her on his face was overpowering.
"I can't tell you." she said, her bottom lip now quivering.
"Yes, you can. Last time I checked, the way you feel about me isn't a matter of national security." he demanded, his voice raised out of frustration.
"Aaron, please," she begged, her voice a hushed whisper. She knew if he continued to question her about it, she wouldn't be able to control herself.
"Emily, I just want to know what happened. What changed?"
She bit her lip and turned her left cheek away from him so that he couldn't see the tear running down her face. Just the thought of how much pain she was putting him through left her just inches away from a breakdown, it was even harder when she could feel it all around her. It was like she could sense every emotion he was feeling just by touching him as he tried to comfort her, once he noticed her hands were shaking. That only made things worse. Emily was putting him through hell and he still cared about her. She couldn't keep doing this. She thought that if she just cut him off almost entirely that they would be able to forget their feelings for eachother. He couldn't forget, and neither could she.
"Nothing." Emily managed to choke out.
"What?" he asked softly.
"Nothing has changed."
"Something has, Emily."
"No, it hasn't," she began, raising her voice and turning to face him. "I feel the same way about you today that I did yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that, and it hasn't changed."
"How do you feel about me?" he demanded, they were almost yelling at this point.
"I'm in love with you!" she yelled, immediately realizing what she had just said. Emily rubbed her face with her free hand trying to calm herself as tears streamed down her face. "I think I'm in love with you, and that scares me half to death."
Not knowing what to do next and forgetting that he was still holding her hand, she tried to walk out. Instead of letting go, he pulled her to him, placing one hand on her waist and the other behind her neck. And then he kissed her. It happened so suddenly that she barely had time to react. One moment, she was staring into his dark eyes, and the next, his lips were pressed to hers. She didn't kiss him back initially, knowing what would happen if she did. If she kissed him back, she would be completely letting him in and there would be absolutely no going back.
What if he's a traitor?
If he was, she could find a way to deal with the pain later. She needed him now, because no future broken heart could hurt as much as pushing him away any longer.
She closed her eyes and let go as her whole body was consumed in the kiss. Chills ran over her skin, and fire burned inside her. His body pressed closer to hers, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. His lips were warmer and softer than anything she could have ever imagined, yet fierce and powerful at the same time. Hers responded hungrily, and she tightened her hold on him. They molded together, fitted against one another with stunning perfection. She had never felt as she did now, exploring the feel of it all. Feeling the strength of his arms around her. She felt as though she'd found a moment of forever. Like this was how they should've always been.
