**In case you guys don't remember, Carrie Ortiz was from 3x04 "Children of the Dark." Emily wanted to take her in but Carrie's relatives got in touch with the authorities.**
Chapter 1 – Mess
"I hate the day, because it lendeth light
To see all things, but not my love to see."
- Edmund Spenser
Emily Prentiss scrutinized the scene before her. She eyed every nook, every paper out of place and every stain. It was a mess. A bloodbath. She mourned the veritable crime scene. How could she let things get this far?
Oh, yeah. She hates paperwork. And when her head gets wind of hated activities, it works to put it off till the last minute.
Now there was this.
Piles of folders and files lay waiting on her desk, an endless landscape that transformed the tabletop to the paperwork mountain from hell accompanied by the broken pen and blotted ink stains that puddled around as Emily tried to clear its black liquidity path.
The New York fiasco hit the whole team. So much violence, so much death. It wasn't anything new for them but that didn't make them any less vulnerable. One of their own was killed. Well, not anyone from their team but still. Kate was an incredible agent. Emily had heard some stories of her exploits while in Europe but thankfully, considering her occupation at the time, they had never crossed paths.
Even scarier still was the knowledge that it could have easily been one of them getting blown to smithereens. It could have been JJ.
The BAU was allowed some time off while Hotch got himself checked out but Prentiss underestimated how much casework she left behind in order to help deal with the mayhem in the Big Apple. She drew out a breath and looked away from the scene, needing a break before even beginning to think about sorting through the mess.
She looked over to Hotch's empty office, a wave of sympathy hitting her at the thought of the team leader's loss and injury. It was a lot for anybody to handle but she couldn't help the selfish longing for his return to the office. He was their leader and they were a family. The closest family she's ever had. The BAU and the jet were more of a home than the empty and Spartan dressed place she only really occupied when she was ready to sleep or when Sergio needed company.
Speaking of family, Emily allowed herself a glance at JJ's office. One glance. She could see the team's media liaison speaking animatedly on her cell phone. The profiling was automatic and she couldn't stop the body language analysis even after she realized it was happening. Based on her anxious state, a mix of excitement and nerves, Emily deduced that JJ was talking about the pregnancy with Will. A pang hit Prentiss in the gut. She thought it through logically and wanted to believe it was all just lingering guilt and loss from her sophomore year in high school.
That wasn't all it was though. Beyond the first pang that led Emily to instinctively reach for her abdominal area, there was one that followed that deeply affected her heart. Emily stubbornly refused to admit what it meant. She wouldn't. JJ has a child on the way. She has a boyfriend that Emily pushed her to admit she had because she knew JJ was dying to tell them.
Why did she always do this to herself?
Oh yeah, she was being a good friend. Emily frowned - or she was being a masochist.
She stood up, attempting to step out for some air but could not resist looking back into JJ's office. The breathtakingly beautiful mother-to-be was smiling widely as she conversed on the phone and was holding her abdomen with maternal warmth.
Emily's lips quirked up in response before she realized it and once she did, she sighed resignedly.
Masochist. Definitely.
She shook her head as if the physical action could actually help shake the thoughts and feelings that had risen. Snatching her blazer from its place on her chair, Emily raced out of the office, the air suddenly getting too suffocating to stay another minute.
"Emily?" Reid questioned but Emily didn't hear him over the thoughts running in her head.
Reid looked on at Emily's exit in contemplation before shrugging and walking back to his desk.
"Hey, Reid." Morgan greeted as the younger man sat down. Noticing Reid's distracted face, he questioned him. "What's got your gears turning?"
"Hmm?" Reid shook his head before answering. "Nothing, uh I just saw Emily leaving in a hurry when I was coming in."
Morgan's forehead creased in worry, "Something wrong?"
"I don't know. Based on her body language, there might be something wrong."
"Couldn't it just be stress?" Morgan looked over to his partner's desk, "I mean, have you seen her desk?"
"Perhaps. But Emily has been able to compartmentalize."
"So something's bugging Prentiss." The profiler surmised, "I doubt it's a boyfriend, no boy could shake the Princess. I wonder what's up with her?"
"What's wrong with Em?"
Both Reid and Morgan stopped at JJ's sudden appearance. The blonde looked between them worriedly. Emily was fine this morning.
"I was just saying that Emily looked… agitated. Seeing that there hasn't been much going on here, I thought something might be wrong."
"Where is she?"
"She just stepped outside." Reid answered.
"I'm sure everything's fine." Morgan said reassuringly, trying to calm their liaison, "You know how Prentiss could be sometimes. She's an enigma, wrapped in a mystery, all covered by a block of ice sometimes."
"Or she could be suffering in silence. You know how Emily can be." JJ countered as she fixed a deadly glare at Morgan for his frost comment. "I'll just go check on her because obviously you boys aren't all that concerned!"
Morgan watched after JJ and as soon as she got on the elevator, he turned to Reid, "Woah, Mama Bear's all up in that already. Think it's the baby hormones?"
"I don't know if it's a maternal thing," Reid mused, "She never held her hand to her abdomen while we were talking about Emily but then again, what you call baby hormones are really her body's way of getting ready for the baby… the rise of HGC or Human Chorionic Gonadotropin, progesterone and oestrogen levels have varying effects on mothers-to-be."
Morgan shrugged, letting the spew of mama info go over his head. "Whatever, JJ's gonna get to the bottom of the Prentiss thing. In the meantime, we've got our own shit to get through."
"But I've already finished all my reports." Reid pointed out gleefully.
"I hate you sometimes, man." Morgan followed the statement by taking one of the files on his desk and hitting Reid on the head with it before getting to work.
"What did I do?" the genius asked aloud.
Emily glared at the unlit cigarette in her hands. The battle of wills had been going on for the last ten minutes and she knew if something didn't happen, she'd lose.
JJ watched unnoticed from the doorway. What could make Emily Prentiss, as imperturbable as she was, have a silent battle with a smoke and a lighter? She moved to walk towards her but the blare that suddenly rang out from Emily's phone kept her in place.
"Hello?"
There was a pause, Emily's face scrunched up in confusion, "Carrie? Hold on. Slow down, Sweetheart."
JJ's eyes narrowed. Who was she talking to?
To say that Emily was surprised by the phone-call was a vast understatement. "You what?!"
"I'm sorry," the voice cried from the phone's speaker, "I know I'm springing this on you but I didn't know what else to do!"
"Carrie, sweetie. Are you saying what I think you're saying? Are you-"
"I'm in Virginia. At the airport? The Washington National one." She stopped and laughed hysterically. "I needed to get away. My aunt said that she'd let me come up if I could raise my grades. I don't think she expected me to graduate a year early."
"I thought you were just thinking about going to school here!" Emily yelled, panicking. She knew it was probably less than professional that she kept in touch with Carrie Ortiz but she meant what she said to Hotch. Making sure that Carrie was going to be okay was one of the only ways she can still have a grasp on her humanity.
It seemed like she wasn't as okay as she had previously believed though. The slight hysteria in Carrie's voice on the phone indicated the desperation.
"I can't stay with them anymore!" Carrie cried, "Please, Emily. I need this. You know how hard this has been for me. You know that I tried!"
"I know, sweetie. I know. You've been doing great."
"You said if I needed anything, I could go to you."
Emily knew what that meant. "Did you tell them at least?"
"I said that you invited me to visit."
"And what?" Emily started to pace, "You just weren't going to go back?"
A hitch in breath followed by a pause then Carrie whined into the phone. "I was going to call them!"
"Are you still at the airport?" Emily asked, pinching the bridge of her nose. At the weepy confirmation, she sighed, "Okay, I'll come and get you. We'll talk about it when we get back to my place."
It was one hell of a coincidence, Emily thought to herself, that she would feel the pangs of lost motherhood on the same day that the kid she had once offered to take in walks back into her life looking for a mother-figure and a place to stay.
"What the hell am I going to do?"
"Em?"
"JJ!" she jumped and raised her hand to her heart, "Jesus, you scared the hell out of me!"
"Now, who knew that little, old me could scare the super-badass FBI agent?" JJ teased.
Despite her inner turmoil, Emily let herself counter with her own quip, knowing that the banter would ease the troubles for a moment, "Please… being little doesn't make you any less scary. Just ask Rossi whenever he's late with his case reports."
They shared a laugh before the brunette checked her phone and remembered that she needed to be at the airport soon, "Sorry, JJ. I have to clock out early."
JJ caught on and knew that Emily wouldn't offer up a reason so she clasped the other woman's hand. "You've been off today. Is everything okay, Em?"
Fighting off her body's natural reaction to blush under JJ's gaze, Emily cleared her throat and shook off the grip on her hand, "Ehm no, I'm uh fine. I just have a-an emergency. It's kind of urgent."
JJ frowned at the brush off. "Em? You were talking to yourself."
"I was?" Emily frowned and went to reassure her with a hand on JJ's shoulder. She stopped herself though and took a half-step back instead, "Seriously, Jay. Nothing bad, I just have… family things to deal with."
Then she added more distance even though her heart was pulling her in the opposite direction. It was always maddening to be so close to her without being able to be honest.
"Okay," JJ replied dejectedly, "Can you just… call me later? Let me know when you get home?"
The sentiment added to JJ's warm voice and tender look made Emily blush and she barely managed to maintain the crack in her voice as she mocked saluted, "Yes, ma'am!"
The smile and laugh never really met Emily's eyes. They shared another intense look that neither wanted to break or address before Emily nodded and went ahead back into the BAU to get the rest of her stuff. As she walked away from JJ she couldn't help but think of one of her favourite authors, Neil Gaiman and his epic series, Sandman.
"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up."
It took a couple of minutes for JJ to register anything beyond the image of Emily's sad eyes before she walked away. She didn't know what changed in the last couple of minutes but suddenly it felt like their world would be changed forever. Maybe it wasn't just the last couple of minutes, JJ thought, because now it felt like the weight of everything since her pregnancy was hitting her in one moment.
Everything that she had carefully tried to compartmentalize opened up and the oncoming tidal wave of emotional baggage rushed through her and filled her eyes up with tears. Because the sad eyes she saw just now were everyday sights since New York. The comforting touches and glances that JJ got at every tough case have lessened to the point where JJ was going mad looking for them. What was she going to do?
JJ sat down, hands cradling her head. What could she do?
What a mess.
Elsewhere…
Two figures dashed away from an airplane landing strip just out of Virginia. Both were dressed in inconspicuous clothes, baseball caps and sunglasses that masked any facial distinctions from the general populous and made it harder for any cameras to really get a good look at them.
"This is your brilliant idea?" The male of the duo grunted as they hopped a fence to get to the ride their contact in the States had hooked them up with.
The crisp, no-nonsense voice lashed out quickly in response, "Don't give me that, Jack. It's your bloody fault we're in this mess to begin with. You're the one that had to fall head-over-heels with the woman."
"And I told you that you didn't have to risk your whole career just to get us both out of Europe, Chase." Jack said, tone losing all fight. He was tired, he was cranky and he had just left the woman he loved in an abandoned bunker. "I already gave up mine."
"Doesn't mean we're not still partners'." The blonde woman retorted, "I had some vacation time anyway."
"I know it's been a while for you but the definition of vacation hasn't changed to 'smuggle your former partner into America along with the woman that he shouldn't have fallen in love with.'"
"Yeah, probably not. But it's gonna be fun."
"You need to work on your definition of fun too." Jack shook his head. "Are you sure you can trust your contact here?"
"Emmy owes me. She can be trusted."
"Are you sure?"
Lillian Chase looked out over the horizon, Washington DC was only a couple hours away but their journey was far from over.
Jack wasn't going to be safe until she could secure forged identities for him and his fiancé. The SIS couldn't do anything for them because of bureaucratic bullshit. Even if they authorized some sort of plan for them, by the time they could get them into witness protection, Jack and Sara would be dead already.
Getting them to America was the only way.
She just needed to get in touch with her old friend, Emily Prentiss.
