A/N: Hello, this is indeed the Brittany…er, Bboz from those ages ago. I've decided to return to my fan fiction writing days…finally. Heh. I've acquired a need for oneshots whenever I return from those oh so long and dreadful breaks. Anyway, this is a songfic oneshot...nothing more, not to worry. I have a greater piece in the works, so do not stray too far away! Eh, please read and review. Thanks to all of my readers, if there are any…O_O
Oh, it's in Kyo's point of view, for the record.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own or claim ownership of Fruits Basket or any of the characters involved. I do, however, claim ownership of the idea for this particular work of fiction and the many other tedious thoughts that made up the rather…tragic turn of events for this poor tale. I don't own the song "Cancer" by My Chemical Romance either, and I do not wish to, because I'm pretty sure my horrific singing voice would simply MURDER any hope for this delightfully wretched tune. :]
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Turn away,
If you could get me a drink,
'Cause my lips are chapped and faded…
I allowed the tears to flow freely, any regards towards Yuki and his most likely hateful comments on my person long gone from the rather filthy gutters of my almost ever wandering mind. All I could see were those tragic blue eyes that begged with all their ever soulful being for me to stay. How could I have been so stupid? So mother fucking selfish as to make a bet with the head of my unfortunate family? Of course, I couldn't necessarily blame myself completely for this, as to predict I would have fallen so deep in love by the time this debt had to be paid would be nearly impossible.
"Kyo, come now, I-I'm sure I could fix this mess," began the dog of the zodiac, his hand propped up against my shoulder as I tried to stop the rapid fall of tears with only the image of Tohru Honda fresh in my mind. "Just let me talk to Akito! I can sort things out, at least get him to allow you to stay for a few more weeks, yes? Stop this madness, for Tohru's sake."
Call my Aunt Marie,
Help her gather all my things…
I gasped slightly and pushed the older man's gentle embrace away as I made my way towards my room which held my belongings. "D-Don't…please don't…say her name. Not now." I sputtered out in a most certainly incoherent fashion as only a single destination stood in my mind. I had to take these things one step at a time; first would come the room, then getting my bags to the porch, then awaiting Hatori's car ride to the main house…and…
No. I can't possibly bring myself past that point. I don't want to think of the fate that is almost completely unavoidable by this point; I'd much rather die…or drive myself mad with the thoughts of the very person who'd freed me from my insanity those few years ago. 'Twas not long before I found my strong, tanned arms hesitant to latch unto the suitcase handle that sat just before me now. I focused in on the bag as violent thoughts flooded my mind. I thought of tearing the thick leather that encased my clothes, I thought of burning it too. I thought of stabbing it as well, but I'm relatively sure that was the insanity settling itself into my brain.
And bury me in all my favorite colours.
My sisters and my brothers, still
I will not kiss you…
"Kyo, are you hearing me? I can stop this madness! Please…" I heard Shigure screech from the hallway. I'm sure I'd heard a few sobbing gasps after that, but if those had been me myself or the memory of Tohru's as she ran out of the house when she'd first heard of my unfortunate fate in that damn cage.
Ah, yes, hearing voices of loved ones was definitely a sign of the seed of insanity. I brushed the lonely thought to the back of my mind with a single sadistic chuckle as I took hold of my suitcase after a few minutes of violent staring. It took all the bravery and power in my body to walk down that hall and descend those stairs, only to see a hysterical Tohru in the kitchen entrance.
"Toh…ru?" I muttered through slightly parted lips as I felt my face grow wetter and wetter as I found myself shedding tear after tear.
'Cause the hardest part of this,
Is leaving you.
The cerulean eyed girl couldn't even look at me; she swiftly turned her head away with an agonized scream much like that of a recently wounded homicide victim. The situation would have angered me, had it been any normal day. I would yell at her, she'd apologize, and all would be well in the world. I couldn't feel anger, much less anything, at that moment. I wanted to run to her, I wanted to protect her from all despair and harm the world could cause her. I wanted to stay…I wanted to hug her.
Now turn away,
'Cause I'm awful just to see,
'Cause all my hair's abandoned all my body.
But I just couldn't bring myself to do so. I'd convinced myself it'd only bring her more hurt, more sadness, and who would I be to do more than the damage that was had already been inflicted upon such a bright and happy girl? Temporary insanity was replaced with self-hatred as my endless source of rage had been aimed at myself. How could I, the person who she expected to love her, cause her so much pain. I had vowed to kill anyone who got anywhere near hurting my dearest Tohru. What was I expected to do when I was the one hurting her?
Oh my agony,
Know that I will never marry.
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo,
But counting down the days to go…
I eventually quit staring at the teenage girl and continued my hapless journey to Sohma house for the rest of my life. "Tohru…tell me something though," I hacked out between sobs, "Do you honestly believe you could love me…after what I've don-done?"
I received no answer and felt a numbing pain in my chest as the heartbreak settled inside of me, alongside the dementia. All I could see was Yuki and Shigure immediately at the girl's side to console her, her screams of what seemed like near physical pain entering my ears into my mind, where they'd stay as a few of my last memories of my beloved.
It just ain't living.
And I just hope you know,
That if you say,
Goodbye today,
I'd ask you to be true…
My onslaught on my own mind nearly ended when I dropped my suitcase into the backseat of Hatori's car, a blank expression on his cold face. He was always like that, though it didn't help my more than immense loneliness at that moment.
"You're not going to say goodbye?" the fellow Sohma nearly spat at me, eying the somber group of people in the doorway of the house tucked away in the trees.
I shook my head with a hard swallow; I watched with silent eyes as a final tear slid from my cheek and onto the roof of Hatori's car, landing with a soundless splash. "The only person who matters…or…mattered…isn't speaking. So, I figure, if I can't speak to her…there's no reason for words to exist."
I pulled open the car door and was about to fall into the uncomfortable seat before I was interrupted by a voice that I'd longed to hear…and the words that voice had uttered could fuel my hope for the rest of my life…
'Cause the hardest part of this,
Is leaving you.
"Kyo," I heard a slightly hoarse yet familiar voice shout, "I do…I-I do love you…"
My eyelids fell as I sat down in the car's passenger seat with a slightly relieved sigh. "I love you too…Tohru-kun…" I said to myself I slammed the car door, leaving the woman I loved, the memories I had of her, and any evidence of my existence behind.
'Cause the hardest part of this…
Is leaving you…
