Chapter 1

~Still I'm Sad~

"Be back before you know it." Alice said with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"You won't remember me," Hatter sighed ruefully

"Of course I will. How could I forget? Hatter? How is a raven like a writing desk?"

"I have no idea," Hatter answered trying to smile. Gently touching her shoulders he leaned down and whispered his heart-wrenching goodbye. "Fairfarren, Alice."

Just as Alice was having second thoughts about her decision the Hatter disappeared and she found herself hurtling back to her world Above. The landing was bumpier than she recalled, the ground shaking violently under her feet. Suddenly Alice found herself out of breath as something hit her full in the chest.

"Auntie Alice, the suns up been up forever. Come on wake up!"

Alice opened her eyes to find her nephew, Darby, bouncing on her chest. She laughed with what little breath she had at her nephews excitement. "You're getting heavier than a Bandersnatch, young man."

Darby stopped bouncing. "What's a banjostam, Auntie?"

"Ban-der-snatch. And it's a great creature almost as big as the elephants of India." Darby's eyes grew wide. "And it's got teeth like a shark and claws like a lion." Here Alice grabbed his belly making Darby giggle and roll off of her enough for her to sit up.

"Does it eat people?" Darby asked.

"Only little boys who wake their aunts up at the crack of dawn," Darby's lower lip started to tremble "without giving their Aunt a hug and kiss that is." Alice finished with a smile. Darby threw himself at Alice knocking her back onto the pillows and hugging her fiercely. "Don't worry Darby, I was just joking" Alice said with a laugh.

"So the Bandersnatch isn't real then?" Darby asked and then gave Alice a quick kiss in case his Aunt was mistaken about the creature.

"Of course it's real, but it doesn't eat little boys. In fact,"

"There you are, young man." Alice's older sister Margaret appeared in the doorway with a stern look on her face. "What did I tell you about waking your Aunt after one of her long trips?"

"It's fine Margaret," Alice said setting her 4-year old nephew on the floor. "It was about time I was getting up anyway. I'd like to enjoy the day a bit before I have to attend that foolish party Mother's arranged. I'm sure I'll need a scythe to cut through all the bachelors she'll have invited."

"Alice! Mother is only looking out for your future well being."

"By forcing me to court morons, fops and men who would see me as an object rather than a person," Margaret gave Alice a dark look before picking up her son.

"You could at least make an effort Alice, you've had 5 years to get these wild urges and fancies out of your system. It's time you settle down. Having a family is not a prison sentence." Margaret smiled at her son and smoothed his hair a bit.

"Maybe not for you Margaret," though it once was during Lowell's cavorting days Alice thought but had the decency to keep to herself, "but if I don't truly love the man and he doesn't truly understand my wild fancies, as you call them, then I may as well have my head chopped off."

"Can you at least try to have fun and be personable tonight? For Mother?"

Alice sighed. This conversation was getting old, "I'll try."

Margaret smiled, "Just as it should be."

"I'll be down to finish that story I was telling you, Darby, as soon as I'm dressed," Alice said.

"Alice, I've asked you not to tell him those foolish stories. Too many of those and he'll grow up to be as mad as Aunt Imogene."

After her sister and nephew left the room Alice swore under her breath.


The evening had started off horribly. Her mother had sat with her while she was dressing to ensure that Alice wore her corset and stockings. To make matters worse it was becoming extremely fashionable to lace the corset so tightly it gave an creepily exaggerated 'hour-glass' shape. After a heated discussion and a fake fainting spell, Alice was able to convince her mother to allow her to loosen the bloody thing. The next battle was over Alice's hair which ended in a draw. Proper ladies of the Kingsleys social standing were expected to wear their hair up not flying loose and willy-nilly as was Alice's usual style.

"Your hair wants cutting. It's far to long and unmanagable" her mother had said.

'No Mother,' Alice thought, 'all my hair is wanting it a gentle brush to stroke it in the mornings.'

Thankfully her mother was willing to allow Alice to just pull part of it up, 'but only if you use those jewelled combs you brought back from the Orient, it will be a simple and attractive way of reminding your suitor of your value' her mother had said. This hurt Alice deeply, even her own mother was convinced her worth was only in her looks and the company's wealth.

Things were beginning to look up though once the party had started. Word had spread around London of Alice's mad demeanor, and to her pleasure it seemed to limit the number of single men her mother was able to find to invite. The cool evening air was making the numerous layers of clothing Alice had to wear, in no way comfortable but at least a bit more tolerable and no one save Lord Ascot and Lowell had asked her to dance in the boring display that was quadrille. The party took a turn for the worse about 2 hours in when Alice approached the refreshment table after a mind numbing talk with Hamish's new wife Lillian.

"Miss Kingsley?" Came a voice behind her. Alice turned around to face a solid looking young man wearing a very familiar top hat. The hat brought so many memories swirling back to the front of Alice's mind that it was a moment before she answered.

"Yes, and you are?"

"Galder Weatherwax. Lord Galder Weatherwax," he repeated with emphasis. "I must apologize for not introducing myself sooner, but I prefer to study my challenges for a while before I attempt to over come them."

"Well, Lord Weatherwax I didn't think that finding the refreshment table was such a challenge what with it's size."

"You truly are mad, Miss Kingsley." There was no hint of humor in the statement. "I was referring to your courtship. Your mother was right you will be a handful to tame."

"Tame? How dare you! I'm not an animal" Alice turned to leave when Galder grabbed her wrist and wrenched her to him.

"Then you shouldn't act like such a shrew. I would have a dance." With this Galder pulled her onto the dance floor. Alice unable to tear out of his grasp danced stiffly as he spoke. "Your mother and I have been corresponding for quite a few months now regarding your business achievements, scandalous behavior and lack of a husband. Your mother thinks I would be well suited financially and emotionally to bring you to heel and run the business while you learn to keep a home."

"Shut your foul mouth, you, you, shurkm throwing, slurvish, gallumphing," Alice raged in the tongue that Hatter had taught her so long ago.

Galder grabbed her chin roughly and held it so she couldn't speak. "You really are much too much, Miss Kingsley. Much too independent, much too loose lipped, much too unladylike and much too wealthy to remain an old maid. I'll enjoy" Galder never revealed what he would enjoy because at that moment Alice brought her knee up with swift anatomical precision dropping Galder into his own world of pain and stopping the dance around them.

"Much too sane to ever consider you for my husband." She snatched the top hat from his head and slammed her fist into it tearing out the top. "And hats like that should only be worn by a true gentlemen, which you sir are not." Dropping the hat on his still prone figure Alice fled the dance floor but was intercepted by her Mother.

"Alice, what have you done to Lord Weatherwax? I spent months working on" but Alice cut her off.

"I refuse to be a pawn in your matchmaking game, Mother. The man was a vicious, domineering cad and you would have handed me to him to be tamed and brought to heel as though I'm a wild dog!"

"Alice! Silence you are making a scene."

"No Mother you have made the scene. Parading me for all of London's bachelors to see like a side of meat at market." Alice's words came faster and harsher as her anger grew. "If you ever loved me you would have quit when I refused Hamish Ascots proposal but you persisted. Always dismissing my dreams and goals as mad because it's not 'whats done'. Well I tell you this, Mother, my dreams are mine and no one will take them from me. Not you and certainly not some jumped up nob." The crowd around them gasped.

"Think of the scandal Alice, what you're doing to the family." Her mother pleaded.

"I don't give a wit about the scandal, and a true family would have supported my decisions not fought me at every turn and try to make me someone I'm not. I'll be leaving in the morning. Good night, Mother"

"Alice if you walk out of this"

"I believe I said good night!"


Alice stormed into her bedroom slamming and locking the door so violently it shook the frame. She had never been more insulted or embarrassed by her mothers ill-conceived matchmaking attempts.

"Much too much he said. I have more Muchness in my pinkie than that fop had in his whole body." Alice stomped over to her looking glass. "Hair needs cutting, indeed." With that Alice ripped the combs from her hair letting the golden locks fall down her back to their full length. "If my long hair was good enough for Queen Mirana it is good enough for my foolish mother. Look at you, Alice," she said to her reflection "The once mighty Champion of Underland reduced to corsets and" she shuttered "social conventions. My Muchness was welcomed in Underland. What would Hatter say if he saw me in this foul outfit? Probably something like slurking, frumious, ugly thing."

At the mention of the Hatter's name Alice suddenly felt very alone. Even more alone than after her father had died, but at that time Alice thought her Mother loved her for who she was. She hadn't realized her Mother's love was conditional. Alice's thoughts quickly turned to back to Hatter. He was someone who had always believed in her, who had helped her find herself, who had cared about her dreams and fears enough to offer to fight the deadly Jabberwocky, who...Alice stopped and jolted at the last thought. He let her go home. She'd never heard him as sad as he was when he bid her fairfarren, but he still let her go. To find her answers and chase her dreams. How could she have not realized before now what he showed her in that seemingly simple act?

Rage came upon her again at the foolishness of the Above world, as she had lately taken to calling it, and the futility of trying to fit in here. She ripped the ball gown with all its frills and constricting frou-frou over her head, savoring the sound of tearing seams and popped stitching. The corset her mother insisted she wear was the next article of clothing to be destroyed leaving Alice in nothing but her underdress, shoes and hated stockings. She flopped to the floor tears of anger welling in her eyes and began to scrabble to get her shoes off.

"Bloody stockings. No stockings needed to kill a Jabberwocky." Alice looked up at the reflection of her pathetic tear streaked face, wrenched the shoe from her foot and hurled it at the looking glass. Instead of showering her with broken sharp shards as was her intent, it passed right though the glass causing it to ripple like quicksilver. Alice stared with eyes like saucers. "But that's impo..." she caught herself. Alice pulled off her other shoe and tossed it at the mirror. It also passed right through the quicksilver glass. A smile broke over Alice's face. "But only if I think it is. And I don't think it is, so it isn't," she said with a manic tinge in her voice.

Alice stood up and touched the glass with a finger causing another ripple across its surface and another bigger smile. "It is well after breakfast, Alice, and you have yet to consider your six impossible things. Time to be getting on with it." Alice spun from the mirror and reaching under her bed withdrew a satchel with copies of all her important business documents including the one leaving her assets to her mother. She may be a stupid woman but father would have wanted to know she was taken care of. "One, a woman negotiated the first trade route to China. Two, a woman is senior partner in the largest most respected trading firm in the British empire."

After placing the satchel on her dressing table with a note to her mother saying only 'Look at me', she rummaged at the bottom of her wardrobe until she found the loose panel near the back. Pulling it back revealed a small journal which Alice removed. "Three, there is a place where talking to animals is not odd because they tend to talk back."

Flipping through it's pages she stopped at one in particular with a picture of what looked like an insane Scot in a top hat and a thin Valkyrie. Stroking it lovingly she said, "Four, there is a place where a woman can wear armour and a man can wear a skirt." She had so hoped to leave this to Darby so he would remember her, but Alice knew her sister would have it burned. Instead she slipped it into her smallest travel bag along with her silver backed brush and a picture of her father. "Five, there is a man, no not just a man a gentleman, who understands my Muchness and won't have me without it."

With the bag over her shoulder, Alice stepped in front of the mirror where she wasn't at all surprised to see her reflection give her a wink. "Six, there is a looking-glass that will take me home to Underland." Alice laughing at her good fortune plunged head first through the looking-glass.


This is the first story I've written in ages so I would highly appreciate any reviews or critiques.

Thanks

Lil' Miss Rock N' Roll