A/N: This whole damned story is a random crack!fic. Seriously. Just look at the pairing. Griffin/The Lair? That's loony. I do have a point though with this fic. Griffin really loves his Lair(s). Lemme know what you think of this. lol.
Part One
Griffin paced anxiously. "C'mon Lair. You know how it is. Gotta go out just like every other day and kill Paladins."
"But we never spend time together anymore, Griffin. No more you and me time. No alone…" The Lair trailed off.
Walking over to the closest wall, Griffin leaned against it with his shoulder. He could feel the warmth of The Lair radiating from the small section. "Please. I told you this would be hard. You said you would understand." He trailed a hand down the rocky wall slowly as he spoke.
A sigh came from The Lair as it said, "Alright. Next time you don't have to hunt a Paladin, we're spending time together."
Griffin kissed the hard gritty wall briefly. "Done," he whispered before disappearing.
Part Two
He knew The Lair would be sound asleep, so Griffin carefully teleported into The Lair while still holding onto the giggling man. "Shh," he hushed him with a snicker.
The man, David, continued to giggle on account of how much alcohol he consumed. Griffin held David steady, hoping he wouldn't fall over. David leaned forward, giving Griffin a sloppy kiss. Surprisingly, he didn't find it half bad. It felt as good as kissing The Lair to him. Griffin returned the kiss with more force then David gave, causing the man to stumble back.
David laughed and said, "Behave now Griffin," in a voice unlike his usual one. Griffin and him had been pals for a while back. Never had something like this happened between them.
Griffin just smirked and said, "I think you should've behaved first!" he shouted while tackling David. In mid-tackle, Griffin teleported them to the couch. David landed on his back and Griffin on top of him. As they both snickered, Griffin could hear The Lair stirring. Believing it was nothing; he bent down and brushed his lips against David's. David pulled Griffin's head close with one hand and was fiddling with the buttons on his shirt with his other.
"What's going on here?" The Lair asked in a booming voice.
Griffin pulled up from David's grip and said, "Shite. David, you have to go."
David tilted his head in a confused manner. "What… Why?"
"Just go," Griffin told him as he stood up and looked at one of the walls. David quickly got up and teleported from The Lair, leaving Griffin alone with The Lair.
"I can't believe you," The Lair whined, "would cheat on me!"
Griffin, sounding a little slurred to himself, said, "Stop. Stop. Stop." He walked over to the wall and pressed his cheek against it in a lazy fashion. "Calm down and let's talk about this."
"Talk about what?" The Lair's voice move from where it was to the opposite side, trying to get away from him. "Talk about you bringing someone else into our home and…and…screwing them?"
"No one's pants came off though," he began to say.
The Lair scoffed and said, "If I wouldn't have woken up they would have, wouldn't they?"
"Please," Griffin begged in his half drunken stupor, "I made a mistake. Y'know…strike one?" He pushed himself against the wall and said, "I'm sorry," in a low whisper. "Let me make it up to you," he mumbled, drawing circles on the stones.
"Not tonight," The Lair yawned. "You woke me up. I had only fallen asleep like, an hour ago."
"Tomorrow?" he asked in a daze.
"Tomorrow," The Lair responded as Griffin slunk carefully to the ground and curled up. "Love you."
"Love you too…" With that, Griffin's eyes dropped shut and he was out cold.
