Quotefic.
Disclaimer: Don't own Ryou or Bakura. Neh... darn.
I was bored, and since Bakura got a rant, Ryou gets one too, dang it!
He seemes depressed though. hehe. I have a cold, so I stayed home from school today. This is what you get. :D
[ONESHOT.]
-"If it weren't for you, I'd be a different person. Maybe even happy."
He's laid his hands on me –physically- maybe twice. Three times at max. It doesn't matter. That's not what makes me fear him. No, the fear comes from when he's inside of me. Not us. There will never be an 'us'. He can take over my body as often as he pleases, but we are two separate people.
Never forget that…
And, though I don't have any control over what he does with my body while I'm locked away in my soul room, we have two entirely different wills. Even so, I cannot help but have my body forcedly comply with what he wants because he can easily over-power me. Send me into the depths of the mind, send me into the shadows. Of course, the latter will never happen. He needs me, and he knows it. Though to keep him alive or sane, he hasn't yet clarified that.
So, I will continue to go to school and force fake smiles upon my face. Tell everyone everything is alright, and casually nod my head when they tell me if I ever need them, they will be there.
But, so will he…
He'll always be there, waiting for my moment of downfall, when he thinks he can pick me up and I will look up to him as my savoir. He's never told me this, and I don't even think he realizes that I know this. I didn't intentionally learn this information either, but when you have to share a mind with someone you learn things. Some things that might make others happy; having someone there to always help you. Everyone wants that. I do too, but not from him. He cannot bring me comfort. He brings pain and suffering. He brings back bad memories and sad thoughts. Maybe he can't help it? After all, his life was no walk around the park, but what right does that give him to ruin mine?
He has no right. Yet, I always find myself feeling sorry for him, in replacement for the self-sorrow he's taught me to reject. Maybe if I had never met him, never met his intense sadness that was locked away, large amount of grief, pent up. Then maybe I wouldn't feel as depressed as I usually do. The fear I usually feel wouldn't exist.
Oh, to hope and believe that one day it would be better. That he would disappear and leave me to be my own person, in control of my body all the time. I no longer have these notions. He will always be here. I will always be 'vessel' to him, Ryou Bakura to everyone else. We will never be the same person, and I don't think I will ever be truly content with having another person share my body.
We will always be different and contradict each other, never agree on anything. But, I will remain obedient, because it's for the best.
For the both of us.
So, there you go.
Weird, ne? (:
