Lestat de Lioncourt

Who is he to reign in my soul so completely? To chain it to him in selfishness, playing with me, unlatching me briefly, only to capture me once more with renewed vigor?

Were he real, I'd demand much of him. Oh! to be obsessed with a fictional character! How dare he!

His charm attracts me, like a moth to a flame. And, believe me, I am destroyed each time I get too close. Each and every time.

His soul is what I crave, to understand it, inside and outside, to know his heart of hearts, so I can...what? Sympathize?

This is why his pain comes next. I claim to know it, understand it like no one he has ever known.

Ah, my mad scribblings! I am possessed by him. Of my own free will.

I hate him for capturing me so easily, so fully, almost with no effort. But as he has said, "Sometimes hate and love serve exactly the same purpose."

I long for him like everyone longs for acceptance, myself included. I want him like he wants blood. I wish upon every single star in the universe that he were real.

But he is real, to me. As real as you, reading this. I need him as much as I long and want and love him.

Dear God, should I even mention love? I love him like I have never loved because I claim to understand him. No matter that it is all one-sided, it is still as strong.

Tell me something, reader.

Am I mad?