A/N: Um this is just a story I wrote earlier, and I may not have everything acurate, like forsay the full moon because I realized it was later than what it took place in this story but I found that out after I was finished writing it but if you would like, just take this anyway you want.
Disclaimer: I am just a girl that really loves the Tonks and Lupin pairing. I am not J.K Rowling, and I don't own Harry Potter.


It was a cold night in August of 1997. The sun had set hours before yet the Thursday night London roads were still covered with moving cars. Wind blew harshly and thunder rumbled, yet not a speck of rain had fell. Not many people were out on the streets at this time unless they were homless or prostitutes. However, a man with greying hair that wore shaggy looking robes walked down the streets with his hands in his pockets and a lot on his mind.

Never in a million years did Remus Lupin think that he would ever yell at the small baby boy with messy hair and green eyes that he used to babysit with Sirius when he was younger. Remus never thought that his best friends son would be calling him a coward. However, Remus did agree with everything that the son of James and Lily Potter yelled at him. He was a coward. Remus had to get over the fact that Harry was not the one year old baby boy anymore but now a seventeen year old that called Remus for what he was: A Coward.

Remus walked along the street, staring down at his tattered old shoe and watched every step he took. His thoughts running wildly. Harry's voice screaming at him still played in his head. He pictured his wife. Twenty Four year old Nymphadora, the one who goes by her maiden last name, Tonks. He pictured her bubble-gum pink hair and her smile. He pictured her changing her face. But what took over his mind was the sight of her five nights before. Her hair was long and light blue, tears streaming down her pale cheeks from her grey eyes.

Tonks's voice rang like a bell in his ears. Her begging him to stay and not to leave. Her scratchy voice from stuttering through her tears as she pleaded for him not to go. It pained Remus badly. It was all his fault that she was like that. He was a coward. A coward that had broken the heart of the only woman he carred about.

Meanwhile, in a nice little flat on the outside of Yorkshire was where Nymphadora Lupin was. She had been staying in the house that she grew up in since the fight she had with Remus on the second of August. Her parents, Andromeda and Ted, welcomed her back happily and worriedly when their daughter came to the door with a tear stained face.

As it was approaching three in the morning, everyone in the Tonks household had retreated to bed. Except Nymphadora. Tonks sat on her old four-poster bed in the color-changing room that she stayed in when she was younger. All she had with her was some clothes that she threw into a bag. She sat in her window sill, staring out at the dark feild that is usually green in the sun light, remembering it was where her dad taught her to ride her first broom at the age of four, causing her to break her arm. She tried to smile but couldn't, tears just streamed down her face.

The scene from nights before played in her mind.


"Remus." Tonks said, staring at Remus as he stood facing the other direction. She had a foreboding feeling about something bad was going to happen. "What are you doing?"

"I've got to leave." Remus told her.

Tonks raised an eyebrow, her hair shifting from bubble-gum pink to light purple. "What do you mean?"

"I have to leave you." Remus explained, "I have to leave you for good."

Her eyes widened, "W-What...R-Remus, no." Tonks panicked. "W-Why?"

Remus turned around and looked at her, bloodshot green eyes meeting her dark grey ones. He looked much older than he actually was, and that was thirty-seven. Tonks knew he only looked like that when he was stressed and had a lot on his mind.

"Don't you see." He questioned, "I've made you an outcast."

"Is-Is this about the baby."

"Don't say that word." Remus spat, "It's a monster."

Tonks gasped, "Remus, how dare you say that about our child."

"That is no child of mine." Remus replied, "I've ruined it. That thing is an outcast because I am a werewolf. I've passed my traits onto it. It's not going to be some cute little child that you'd see, it's going to be a monster."

"No it's not Remus, don't ever say that." Tonks said.

"I've got to go." Remus said, drawing his wand but he felt the sudden grasp at the bottom of his robe.

Tears were peaking out of Tonks's eyes. "Remus, no." She squeaked, unattatching her hand from the robe and covering her mouth with it, her other hand over her stomach. "Please, don't do this."

"Dora, I have too." Remus replied, "It's for your own good. I can't stand knowing that I've made that child a monster."

The tears starting spilling out of Tonks's eyes. "Remus, please. Don't go." She reiterated over and over. "I love you, please don't go." She begged. Her hair turned a pale blue color and her face scrunched up as she cried. Remus turned his head, tears threatening their way out. He couldn't see Tonks like this.

"Goodbye, Dora."

That's all that he said before he walked out of the house with Tonks following. Her screaming and crying as he gave her one last look then apparated on the spot. Leaving one month pregnant Tonks on her knees in the middle of the yard, tears streaming her face because her husband just left her.


The same scene played in Remus's head as he sat in an old muggle coffee shop, staring down at the black coffee he had bought for a pound. Rain poured and Remus sighed, occasionally taking a sip of his now cold coffee. It didn't bother him by the looks people gave him for having the scars all over his face and hands.

It had been nearly a week since he left her crying in the yard. He took a deep breath everytime the memory played in his head. Remus knew he was a horrible person. Not a horrible person on the outside but on the monthly beast on the inside. He knew he couldn't go near Tonks anytime soon as for tonight was the Full Moon. Remus didn't know why he was even out in the public eye right now knowing in a few hours he could put everyone in sight in danger. But all that was on his mind was a bubble-gum pink haired girl.

While on the outside of Yorkshire, Tonks was still sat in the window sill of her old room, looking out at the field that was now getting covered in rain. She stiffled a breath and wiped her nose. She then wiped the stray tears from her eyes and she sighed. Tonks rubbed her hand over the small bump that was hardly noticeable but she knew something was there.

How dare he call the child a monster?

Tonks had fell in love with her baby from the moment she found out because Molly said she looked peaky and they got into the womenly talk about cycles. She took the potion and found out that she was indeed pregnant. Tonks sighed, rubbing small circles with her thumb. Her stomach rumbled but she didn't hear the door opening.

"Hungry I see?" it was the voice of her mother.

Tonks turned her head and saw her mother. Tonks envied Andromeda's beauty for the age that she was. Andromeda was carrying a tray of breakfast food with a glass of orange juice and placed it right in front of her daughter. However, it wasn't the daughter that she was used to seeing with the bright pink hair and spunky clothing, but now mousy-brown haired and a pair of cotton shorts with one of her dads t-shirts on.

"Thanks." Tonks barely whispered. Even though she didn't feel hungry, she was. Tonks knew that it was best if she eat because it was more of the baby wanting the food than she did.

Andromeda sighed and kissed her daughters head, "You really need to stop looking out the window. If he hasn't came back by now then..." She stopped at the glare that Tonks gave her. "Nymphadora, please. Just at least shower."

"Okay."

After she said it, that's what Nymphadora Lupin did after she ate the eggs, bacon, sausage, and oatmeal that her mother prepared for her. She ended up going to the Sitting Room and crying into her dads shoulder. She ate more food because the baby wanted it. Andromeda and Ted told their daughter they were going to be gone most of the day tomorrow, but Tonks only nodded. Then she retreated back to her bedroom and sat in the windowsill watching the sun set, knowing quite well that it was a full moon tonight.

As the sun set and the moon came into view. Remus Lupin was in full pain as he did not take any potion for the night. The beast inside of him released and he became his alter-person, the one he truly hated. Remus went through the night, howling at the moon and scratching himself so he knew that his human self would be in pain the next day. But as Remus was in his form, he howled loudly at the view of a house on the outside of Yorkshire, knowing quite well that she was inside the house.

Tonks looked out the window and heard the howl. She hadn't slept fully in over two days and this night would mark the third as she pressed an ear to the cold glass and listened to the howls of what she knew was no regular wolf.

Dawn approached once again and Tonks stared at the light covered feild. Her eyes burned as she only slept five minutes in each hour. She heard her parents leave after Ted brought up some more breakfast and left in front of her. She picked at it and took little sips from the orange juice. It was nearing nine when there was a knock at the door.

Tonks's eyes widened and she dropped the glass at the sudden sound. She slowly threw her legs over the side of the sit-in window and stretched. The knocks got louder and more frequently. She was now wearing an old t-shirt of The Wierd Sisters and pajama shorts as she grabbed her wand from the bed and crept down the stairs.

Tonks approached the door, wand at the ready as she said the words, "Identify yourself." She croaked in a sort of whisper.

"It is I, Remus John Lupin, werewolf and husband of Nymphadora Tonks."

Tonks grabbed the door-knob and slowly turned it. She peeked out the crack and saw the raggedy man that she saw last week and the she fully opened the door. Her bloodshot eyes staring at his.

"You're smarter than that Dora. I could've been a Death Eater because everyone knows I'm a werewolf and your husband." Remus told her as she tried to close the door but his hand stopped it. "Dora, please let me in."

"Why should I?"

"I need to talk to you."

Tonks sighed and opened the door up and let Remus in. She noticed the brand new scars on the back of his neck and then the spots of blood on his clothes from scars hidden. Remus stepped into the house as Tonks close the door, crossing her arms and faceing Remus with a deathly glare on her face.

"Dora, I am a-,"

"Selfish and ignorant person that left me and you're unborn child? I've known that since you left." Tonks interupted him. "It was probably along the lines of the too dangerous, too old, too poor. But you know my thoughts on that." Tears were threatening their way out of her eyes.

"Dora. You have every right to be mad with me."

"Merlin's beard I do!" Tonks said, her voice becoming louder than it had ever been in the past week. "I have not slept in DAYS BECAUSE OF YOU!" She added. "I'VE BEEN UP AT ALL HOURS WAITING FOR YOU TO COME BACK. I GAVE UP TWO DAYS AGO BUT I STILL SAT THERE LISTENING TO EVERY SOUND OF THE NIGHT BECAUSE I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WOULD COME BACK!" Tonks screamed. "HOW COULD YOU CALL OUR CHILD A MONSTER WHEN IT'S JUST A BABY. YOU DON'T KNOW IF IT WOULD BECOME A WEREWOLF BUT IF IT WAS. IT WOULDN'T MEAN WE'D LOVE IT ANY LESS!"

Remus stood there as he let Tonks release her anger. She was now holding the top of his robes and shaking them. Her eyes were looking directly at his, and tears were escaping fast down her cheek.

"I was so worried for you Remus." Tonks whispered, slowly dropping down to her knees and covering her face with her hand, crying so hard her shoulder shook. "I'm so made at you because you left me and you think everything is going to be okay because you are back." She whispered, muffled by her hands. "But you were giving up on me."

Remus crouched down to Tonks and pulled her hands away from her face, lifting her chin up with his index finger. His blood-shot green eyes meeting with her currently dark grey eyes. "Dora, please. I was foolish."

"All you're going to say is you're foolish?" Tonks asked, pulling away from Remus's grasp. "I know quite well that you're foolish."

"Listen to me." Remus replied. "After I left you I went and talked to Harry. I was hoping for better but he yelled at me, which took me by surprise because I've never seen so much anger come out of this teenager. He called me a pathetic coward for leaving you and I agreed. After he kicked me from Grimmauld Place, I went and drank my way into oblivion at The Leaky Cauldron." Remus took a deep breath. "I sat there and thought about you for hours upon hours that day but I couldn't bring myself back to you."

"Because you don't actually love me." Tonks interupted him.

"Dora, don't ever say that." Remus told her. "I couldn't bring myself back to you because I was in my cycle for the moon. I didn't want to hurt you more than I have. I stayed and continued to drink my way inot oblivion because I reminded myself how much I hurt you and it hurt to think about as well." He explained, lifting her chin back up with his finger so their eyes locked. "I didn't want to hurt you anymore than I have, Dora." Remus let go of her face, "and I am so sorry about it." That's when his eyes started to water but he blinked them back. "Please Dora, I'm so sorry. I just didn't want to hurt you anymore."

Tonks looked up at him, "Just hold me Remus."

Remus reached his arms around her waist and then put the other under the back of her knees and he lifted her up Bridal Style. He had only been in this house once but he knew exactly where her room was so he climbed up the steps and brought her into the room and sat her down on the bed. She curled up in his arms and he tightened his hold on her.

"Please don't leave me again." Tonks begged, looking up at Remus.

"I won't leave you ever again." Remus replied as he looked down at Tonks's stomach. He gave her a quick glance and she nodded. He snaked her hand under shirt and placed his hand on the small bump that was hardly noticable but knew was there. "and I'll never leave you again either."

Remus gave a weak smile and Tonks did too. He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers and she returned the favor. Tonks could feel the color coming back in her hair as it turned from brown to its natural pink. Remus repeatedly appologized to Tonks causing Tonks to laugh and he held her until she fell asleep, watching her take each breath. How could he be so dumb to leave her.

There was one thing for sure that Remus came to realization with.

He was never going to do it again.


A/N: If you do not know. I am a really big shipper of Tonks and Lupin. I've read over one hundred fanfics about them and I've cried too. So this is what I think may have happened after or during the scene in Deathly Hallows when Harry flips on Remus for leaving his wife and unborn child. It was just an emotional thing too write. Also, remember that I said this is not accurately based so I am sorry for all the picky people that stumble across this story. But just please leave a review on what you think and I hope to get another chapter of "Dear Fred, I Miss You" up soon. So :D love you all. *kiss kiss*


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