Ellen hadn't expected it to hurt this much. She continued watching, even after Jo had long since disappeared over the horizon. She knows that she is being selfish, but it's her job as a mother. It kills something in her to watch her daughter, her little girl, she thinks with a painful wretch in her chest, grow up and move on. She doesn't want to see what happened to Bill happen to Jo. She knows that Jo deserves better and she also knows that there is much else the world has to offer for her.