My toes hung off the side of the hole, and all I could see was blackness. A rotten stench emanated from the bottom, coming from the rotting bodies. The bodies of all the other people swallowed up by the disease. Cold air drifted from the hole, making me shiver slightly.
Was this what would become of me? Am I going to die now? Or will you make me suffer longer? I wish it would all just end…but that was a scary thought.
For what if I was to die and not like heaven? What if I went to hell instead? Would anyone miss me? And if so…who? Who would be dumb enough to miss a diseased human being like me?
No one, that's who.
I am alone in this cruel world, the only one left alive at least. If I were to jump and rid this world of life would it end the disease? If I rid this world of life…would I rid this world of the memory of me? Am I the only person who cares about me? Or does someone out there yearn to know who I am and to hold me close, and to keep me safe?
No, no one wishes for that.
One last breath and then I jumped, joining everyone else who had the courage to die, joining the insanity that is this disease.
Darkness inhaled me.
*
Blood pounded in my head when I woke up. It was 5 AM and I had had that nightmare again.
I swung my legs over the side of the bed, rushing to the kitchen. My house was still, and quiet like it usually was when I wake up from these dreams.
The bottle of pills I take to control this disease inside me was sitting on top of the microwave as usual. Downing four, dry, I sat on the counter staring at the floor. That one streak in my hair had changed color to a dull gray, which meant stress.
It took me awhile to realize that I had been sitting on the counter for almost three hours.
With a sigh, I got off the counter and grabbed my coat.
Today was definitely going to be a long day…
**
Snow drifted lightly to the ground, landing in the grass and annoyingly in my hair.
I hate snow. People say 'Oh, it's so peaceful, and fun to play in!', but it's actually just a bunch of frozen rain, which can give you hypothermia, and kill you. Yeah, my look on the world isn't very bright, can you tell?
Trudging my way through the eight inches of hypothermia, I noticed that no one was outside. Usually those damn kids who always throw rocks at birds, or cars would be in heaven out here. Guess not today.
Something cold hit the back of my head.
I turned around to see my best friend, Sam. Her blonde hair fell around her shoulders, and she was bundled up in a bunch of clothing.
"That was fucking cold!" I screamed, brushing the snow out of my hair "Are you TRYING to kill me!?"
"Maybe" She giggled, skipping over to me "Lighten up, Erin!"
"Yeah, yeah, so is school canceled today?" I asked.
"Nope, our school is just that awesome" She rolled her eyes "We better get going"
"Yeah…"
Unlike me, she skipped through the snow; don't ask how, she just did. But I was still trudging through it.
Well that was…until someone grabbed me.
