Of
Renegades and Jedi
a Danakin Skywalker original
((Author's Note: If a Star Wars story that surrounds an author's original characters rather than George Lucas' frustrates you, do not read this fic! While original characters are involved, this story surrounds the life of Jedi Padawan Keelee Sarai, who escapes Anakin's siege of the temple. Obviously, the places, people, and all else that is original Star Wars do not belong to me. Do I always have to say this? It's FAN-fiction, people.
Do enjoy, and review, if you are so inclined.))
………………………………
The sound of my bare feet slapping against the streets of Coruscant echoed through the empty alleyway. I was alone – dreadfully, hopelessly alone on a planet, a universe I knew was changing. My heartbeat was much faster than it should've been, but I didn't notice or care.
After what felt like days of running, fatigue finally reached my senses. I collapsed to the ground, forgetting the calming, breathing techniques that Master Yoda had taught me from the time I was small. I scratched desperately at the cold, hard ground with my small hands, begging it just to swallow me whole.
I had just seen him. My hero, my inspiration, and the man I had envied in secret – I had just watched my twin brother Keeloh fall at his hands...
Anakin Skywalker, the man I wanted to grow up to become just like, had slit his throat – with his lightsaber. The image had been burned into my brain, ugly and disturbing, and it haunted me – playing and re-playing like a disgusting holo-drama. Tears sprang into my green eyes as I gasped for air. It was no use, because I didn't want to breathe any longer. I wanted to hunt Anakin down, yell at him until my heart spilled out of my chest, and then expose my tiny neck so that he could kill me, too.
But something was not right. It was not right at all, anyway, but something did not settle in me. Before I had fled the temple, away from the men in white armor, and away from the black-hooded creature that had once been my beloved friend Anakin, I had seen a tear rush down his cheek. Confusion, fear, anger, and torment flooded from his very being. I sensed it long before he had even come into view. I had always secretly thought that Anakin was very handsome, but now I just saw him as a monster: A cold, heartless, ruthless beast and a pathetic excuse for a strong Jedi Knight. Or was he now Sith? I did not care to know. Not in the least.
I now hid in the back of a broken-down old speeder, trying to still my thrashing heart and clear my scrambled mind. But despite my best efforts, the only thing my mind could do was flood with memories.
…………
It all had started when I was just three years old, a youngling who had been discovered nearly ten months too late to be trained. But they had taken me in a one year and four months of age, and I had been growing up in the Jedi Temple ever since. That night, I had been pretending to sleep, until I sensed three people coming toward the sleep chamber. My heart still pounded with an excitement I could not explain, as Master Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi stepped through the doorway, followed by another presence I had been unable to identify.
"These are the younglings, Anakin," Master Qui-Gon was saying. I opened one eye, though it was late and Master Windu had told us all to be sleeping – resting for tomorrow's lessons. But I had been far too excited to sleep, for I had sensed something extraordinary stirring in the Force. And suddenly, a small boy with big, round, deep blue eyes was hovering over my sleep-station, staring me in the face. I quickly squeezed my eyes shut again, and stilled my breathing, hoping they would believe me to be sleeping.
"She is beautiful," I heard the little boy that must've been the one Master Qui-Gon had called Anakin say, with such awe and wonder in his voice that it had flooded my tiny heart with warmth.
I felt Obi-Wan's presence first, and then his rough hand as he ran it over the crown of my head, tousling my wispy brown hair. I could just feel he was smiling down at me. (I had always secretly wished that he was my biological father, but knew it to be a complete impossibility.)
"Yes, she is," Obi-Wan said softly in reply.
Master Qui-Gon must've sensed the second flooding of my three-year-old heart, because when he bent over my sleep station, I felt his warmth and a wry smile spreading across his face.
"Keelee," he whispered; his voice warm with deep, fatherly tones.
I opened one bright green eye. "Yes, Master?" I whispered back to him in my tiny, girlish voice.
Obi-Wan blinked his blue-green eyes in amusement and grinned like a small boy. "Aren't you supposed to be asleep?" he asked.
"Yes," I admitted. Jedi younglings are capable of advanced human interaction at a much younger age than most humans, therefore most of us know better than to lie to a seasoned Jedi Master – or his unabashedly adorable Padawan.
I sat up and blinked twice, wrinkling my nose but grinning. "It's just that… I'm too excited to sleep."
"Excited?" Master Qui-Gon whispered, searching my face, amused.
"Yes, Master." My green eyes sparkled. "Something wonderful is stirring in the Force this night."
Master and Padawan exchanged a knowing look just then, which showed me that I had been correct in my intuition.
"You sense it, too?" Obi-Wan asked, incredulous.
"Oh, yes!" I whispered. "It makes it hard for me to sleep."
It was then that the boy, Anakin, finally spoke. "You sense things, too?" His dark blue eyes searched my small face inquisitively.
I simply nodded, smiling.
The awe and wonder that flooded his face again made me smile more.
"You are very talented in the unifying Force, Keelee," Obi-Wan said softly.
"Thank you," I looked down at my little toes poking out of my blanket.
"Now, get to sleep," Master Qui-Gon smiled warmly. "Master Windu will be quite vexed if you are tired tomorrow morning, especially if it is my fault."
"Yes, Master," I giggled, settling down into my covers once more.
As they walked away, I overheard Master Qui-Gon scolding Obi-Wan about attachment being forbidden for a Jedi, and I peeked to see him rub Obi-Wan's head much like a father would do to his son.
………
Sobbing hopelessly had closed my nasal passages and scratched my throat raw. I was choking on my own saliva, wishing that it would just close my throat and kill me. Suddenly the news of Master Qui-Gon's death was fresh again, flooding my heart with sorrow. As much as attachment was forbidden, this loss had been the first scar on my tiny, fragile heart. I began to regret fleeing the Temple, wishing I had just stayed to be killed with the other younglings. The recently-etched memory was flooding my brain again, and I shut it off with older ones…
………
Years later, I had seen Anakin again. This time, I was seven, and he was freshly thirteen.
"Anakin," I whispered to him, "is it truly wonderful?"
"Is what?" he had asked, smiling impishly.
"Being Master Obi-Wan's apprentice." I tried not to blush, and buried my envious feelings deep within my heart, far beyond where the Masters could even feel it.
But Anakin was not the Masters.
"Of course it is," he beamed. He then tugged at my light brown padawan braid. "Jealousy is the shadow of greed, Keelee," he quoted the Jedi code teasingly.
I pursed my lips at him, and crossed my arms. "You're silly, Anakin."
Master Obi-Wan had then promptly interrupted our conversation by walking over to where we stood. He smiled, patted my head, and lead Anakin away with him again.
…………
Tears fell from my eyes unhindered once more, cooling my flushed cheeks in their wake. Night had fallen over Coruscant, and over my fifteen-year-old heart. Surely I was dreaming.
I remembered just days ago, when Master Obi-Wan and Anakin had returned to the Temple together, strolling through the hallways after a Council meeting. I thought it was wonderful that Anakin was allowed to be a part of those meetings. I always wondered what important things the Masters discussed at those times.
"Anakin!" I had screamed excitedly, upon seeing them together, before I could help myself. Master Windu had shaken his bald head at me, frustrated – yet again – by my lack of focus.
Anakin had turned to look where I stood, despite being deep in brow-creasing conversation with Master Obi-Wan, and I was running to the former before I had a chance to think otherwise. Anakin had laughed – his deep, warm, haunting laugh –, scooped me up, and spun me around in a huge circle. I was taller than before, but still short compared to my peers, and yet Anakin's strong arms had no problem lifting me off the ground. (Sometimes I wondered if his strength came from the Force, or if he had simply worked his arms to a place of endurance.) When he had set me back on my own two feet, he stared down into my green eyes.
"My, how you have grown, Keelee, into a wonderful young woman," Master Obi-Wan had told me proudly. My cheeks had flushed with pride and embarrassment at his kind words. I bowed before him respectfully, then stepped into his open arms, allowing myself to collapse gratefully into his fatherly embrace. My heart swelled in my chest, and I remembered how much I had missed them, and how much I had always longed to be this man's Padawan.
No, not just that… but his daughter.
"You are special, Keelee," Master Obi-Wan said as he released me. "I have another meeting," he turned to Anakin. "Do stay out of trouble why I am gone."
Anakin had rolled his blue eyes at this, where Master Obi-Wan couldn't see. I suppressed a girlish giggle at the expression.
"So, is it exciting?" I blurted the question. No wonder Master Windu calls me reckless…
"Is what exciting?" Anakin frowned thoughtfully.
"Being a Jedi Knight!" I said, waving my arms emphatically.
He smiled boyishly at me as he ran his gloved right hand through his dark blonde hair. "Of course it is," he told me.
"I wish I were old enough to be one. I don't know if I ever will be, if Master Windu has the final say," I sighed in exasperation. I sat down next to where Anakin had sunk down against the wall. I lowered my voice to a whisper. "He's very harsh with me, Anakin. It's just not fair."
"Being a Jedi Knight is a great responsibility, Keelee," he had said, almost sadly.
I had sensed the stirring of conflicting emotions within his heart, and I frowned.
"Are you okay, Anakin?" I rose to my feet and examined his handsome, down-turned face. I looked at the scar that stretched vertically over his right eye, from mid-forehead to cheekbone. I thought it was dreadfully handsome, but I didn't dare think this too hard – he would've sensed it. How embarrassing!
He looked up at me then, from where he was seated on the floor, and pierced my searching gaze with dark, forlorn eyes.
"I'm fine, Keelee," he said softly, dropping his gaze to his tall, black boots once more. He rose to his feet, and playfully tousled my hair before turning to leave.
"Mind Master Obi-Wan's words," I teased.
Despite the sadness in his eyes, Anakin gave me a meaningful grin.
"Mind Master Windu's criticism," he teased back.
And then he was gone.
But then I hadn't realized he would be gone forever.
