The Steadying Force
A/N: The baskets and blankets are packed away and it's time to return to London. But will Charles Carson leave his carefree side at the beach or has he finally found his steadying force? This is my take on the famous beach scene. SPOILERS FOR S4.
Mrs. Patmore was a true friend in every sense of the word. She had watched her two friends wade out into the waters at the beach, hand in hand, and she couldn't have been more pleased. They seemed so happy and at ease with each other, something she had often witnessed when they managed to let down their guards. It was wonderful and infuriating at the same time to watch them dance around each other, neither bold enough to make that one final push towards something more ... until today.
From the comfort of her beach chair, Beryl watched as Elsie extended her hand to Charles and he accepted it. From that moment on, they spent the rest of the day alone, wading in the waters, resting on a blanket away from the others, laughing, and forgetting all about the cares of Downton, service, and everyone around them. It wasn't until it was time to return to London that their Butler and Housekeeper personas reemerged, bringing with it a sort of bitter sadness at the loss of their carefree hours.
Even if Charles and Elsie were willing to let the day end on a more formal note, Beryl Patmore wasn't so ready to give up on the little spark that she had witnessed being ignited between her friends at the beach. She made certain she was the first into the train compartment, along with two blankets and the large picnic basket. She had to practically pry the basket from Daisy's hands, telling the girl that she would be in charge of it going home. Placing it none to gently on the seat beside her, she tossed one blanket onto the opposite seat, then settled down close to the door.
Charles and Elsie were the last of the Downton staff to step aboard the train after making certain they weren't leaving anyone behind. While Charles spoke with the porter about the tickets for everyone, Elsie decided to join Beryl in their compartment and get herself settled before the train started for home. When she stepped into their train car, she was surprised to find that Beryl had taken up an entire seat for herself and her picnic basket.
"What in heavens name is that doing in here? I thought Daisy and Ivy were taking care of that, or at the very least that the lads would want it so they could devour any leftovers?"
"Oh, you know how the young ones are ... full of energy and adventure. They're all sharing stories and enjoying the last bit of happy freedom so I thought I'd take the basket and give them all room to spread out in their compartment. Since it's just the three of us sharing, I didn't think you or Mr. Carson would mind."
"No, we won't mind at all. I'm sure we could help you move it to the floor, though, or beneath the seat so you'd have a bit more space. Or I could sit with you and give Mr. Carson this entire side," Elsie said, motioning to the bench she was currently occupying.
For a moment, Beryl panicked. She hadn't counted on Elsie's practical side offering up such a suggestion. At least Mr. Carson wasn't around to hear the conversation. "No, that's not necessary. I would like to take a nap on the way back to London and I can use the basket to prop up and the blanket as my makeshift pillow. I hope you and Mr. Carson won't mind my lack of conversation on the way home."
"To be honest, I will be surprised if we're not all fast asleep by the time the train pulls into the station. It was a long, but very enjoyable day," Elsie finished with a wistful smile. "I cannot remember a day when I've had more fun and felt so refreshed."
Patmore smiled and watched the emotions playing across Elsie's face. "I'm sure we will all have happy dreams this evening. I hope the staff are mindful to tell Mr. Carson how much they appreciated his planning this outing for us all ... or should I say you and Mr. Carson planning this?" she teased.
"Well, I merely made the slight hint and he took the bait." Elsie winked and the two dissolved into a fit of laughter just as Charles opened the door.
"Room for one more, ladies?"
"We saved you a seat, Mr. Carson," Mrs. Patmore said as she motioned towards the seat beside Elsie.
"I thought you might like the window," Elsie offered as she shifted over and allowed him to pass.
"Are you certain you wouldn't like the window seat, Mrs. Hughes? It will offer a nice view of the landscape on our way back into London," he said, giving her one last chance to have the best of the two available seats.
"No, thank you, Mr. Carson. I'd like you to have it. Consider it my way of saying thank you for a lovely afternoon. You deserve that last bit of calm and relaxation before we reach the house," she answered with a soft smile. "Besides, I'm sure you'll be more than happy to share the view since we're sharing the same seat," she said with a gleam in her eyes.
He offered her a small smile and a nod of his head before taking the seat just as the train began to move. He tried, in vain, to think of something to say to the two women in his company but he found that his thoughts were muddled and disorganized. His mind kept wandering back to the wonderful afternoon he and Elsie had shared away from the others, the way the sunlight danced across her hair, how carefree and happy she seemed to be.
As the moments ticked by slowly, Elsie settled into the comfortable silence between her friends. Beryl, she noticed, had her eyes closed, no doubt indulging in a late afternoon nap which she was never afforded during a regular day. Occasionally, Elsie would steal a glance at Charles who seemed to be deep in thought as he looked out the window at the passing scenery. He seemed so relaxed and happy, and that thought alone made her content to merely sit in silence by his side.
"Seems Mrs. Patmore is taking advantage of the ride home," Elsie commented softly so as not to disturb her friend's little nap.
Charles turned from the window and smiled as he looked upon the cook, her eyes closed and her head resting against the seat with the blanket used as a pillow. "I suppose the warm sun and restful afternoon took a lot out of her, out of us all really. I hope the maids and footmen are taking a nap as well. They'll need it tomorrow when we return to our duties."
"You should get some rest, too, Mr. Carson. You deserved this outing as much, if not more, than any of the rest of us."
He smiled. "I could say the same about you, too, Mrs. Hughes." He dared to stare at the cook for a long moment, as if reassuring himself that she was truly asleep. "I had a lovely day with you. I trust I didn't bore you all afternoon when you could have been enjoying the company of Mrs. Patmore or some of the other girls."
She shook her head and smiled. "Quite the opposite, in fact. You are never a bore to me, Mr. Carson, and as much as I enjoy spending time with Mrs. Patmore, I would have chosen to spend my free day with you, regardless of the planned outing. I had a wonderful day. Thank you."
"I'm glad, and it's I who should be thanking you for encouraging me to take them all to the seaside. I'm certainly thankful you are always looking out for me."
Elsie felt a little heat rise to her cheeks and she stared down at her folded hands in her lap. "And I should like to think that, even when you don't agree with my meddlesome ways, you are aware that I only do them with your best interests at heart." She looked up to see him smiling softly, sweetly at her. "So, having said that, you should rest your eyes and try to rest a bit more before we're home. You rarely take any time for yourself, even though you deserve it."
He gave her a short nod, then closed his eyes and rested his head against the seat. He indulged his mind that was flooded with images from their day at the sea. He wanted to burn every single second of it into his memory, to be recalled and relived every day for the remainder of his life. This woman, his best friend, never ceased to amaze him. She could be so many things to so many people and yet still remain true to herself. She let go of things so easily when necessary, yet clung to the things she held most dear as if her life depended on it. Just hearing her laughter as they waded into the water was enough to make him overjoyed.
Elsie couldn't help herself. She studied his profile as he rested. His eyes closed, his face so relaxed, all the worry lines gone, the stress released from his shoulders, he looked so happy and at ease for the first time in months, maybe years. She had to fight the urge to brush back a little curl that had found its way to his forehead, no doubt from the wind on the beach. If only he knew that that one defiant curl had dared to make itself known, he would be beside himself, she thought with a little laugh.
With both of her friends resting comfortably, Elsie decided that she, too, should rest but she found that she couldn't tear her eyes away from Charles. She had never before been given the opportunity to memorize his every feature, to truly drink in the sight of this handsome man sitting next to her. She unfolded her hands from her lap and let one rest on the seat between them, thinking back to the way his hand felt in hers down by the shore.
Her hand tingled as she remembered the way his much larger hand had taken hers, so strong and true yet with a vulnerability surging through it. She knew, almost immediately, that he wasn't afraid of falling over or getting his trousers wet. He wasn't afraid of the water or the waves, either. What frightened him most was opening up and letting himself live again. By taking her hand in his, in public where they could easily be seen by anyone, he was silently telling her that he was now ready to move forward. She had seen it all play out in his eyes, had heard it in his voice, and had felt it in his hand. She gave that hand a little squeeze to reassure him that all would be well, that she would never hurt him or desert him as Alice had done so many decades ago.
Suddenly, she was snapped from her thoughts by his warm hand covering hers as it rested on the seat between them. At first, she thought his hand must have fallen from his lap in his slumber until she noticed the cheeky smile curling about his lips.
"Are you feeling unsteady, Mr. Carson?" She had dared to breach the silence between them by asking him the first question that sprang to mind.
He wrapped his fingers around her hand and gave it a little squeeze. "Not exactly," was his short answer.
"Then ... what are you feeling?" she asked softly, her voice steadier than she felt. In truth, she was beginning to feel a little unsteady and she was most grateful that they were seated.
"I'm feeling happier than I've ever felt." His head turned and his eyes opened just in time to see her bashful smile and the beautiful pink hue on her cheeks. "I'm feeling strong and excited, a little nervous, too."
"Nervous? Whatever do you have to feel nervous about?" She shifted her body so that she was turned fully towards him, her head resting on the back of the seat mimicking his relaxed posture. She thought, for a brief moment, that this must be how lovers awake in the early morning hours, heads resting on the same pillow, faces so close that they shared breaths.
"I realized today that I love the way your hand feels in mine," he whispered softly for fear of Mrs. Patmore waking to overhear their conversation. "I love how comfortable you are in all situations and how easy it is for you to embrace change. You are a steadying force in my life, Mrs. Hughes ... THE steadying force, to be truthful, but you are also the winds of change."
She brought her free hand across her lap and covered the top of his hand with hers. "And are these changes that I'm inspiring ... are they good or bad, in your opinion?" She could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she waited with baited breath.
"They are very good changes, Mrs. Hughes ... Elsie." He shifted a little closer to her and gave her that boyish grin that he saved only for her. "That is, of course, if you're willing to make a few changes yourself."
"And what might these changes be that I'm being asked to make ... Charles?"
He grinned and laced their fingers together. "I am asking if you'll allow me the honor of courting you, properly mind you." Now it was his turn to feel nervous and anxious. He hadn't intended to make such life altering changes when he woke up this morning but he found he couldn't stop himself from speaking from the heart, from bearing his soul to her. "I want to be the man who holds your hand, to keep you safe and steady, and to know that you're mine." He hoped, desperately, that she would read between the lines and realize that by safe and steady, he also meant loved and cherished.
Elsie shifted closer to him until she was able to rest her head against his shoulder, shifting their entwined hands into her lap. "As long as you promise not to be too formal when courting me," she teased as she boldly snuggled into his side. "We've known each other long enough that I think we're allowed to be a bit less formal about it all. Wouldn't you agree?"
She did realize his true message, his most heartfelt intentions, and it warmed his heart. "Perhaps, later this evening, we could share some wine and discuss this further, when we're more at liberty to speak freely." He gave a nod in Beryl Patmore's direction and hoped she would understand.
"I'll look forward to it for the remainder of the day." She closed her eyes and allowed her body to rest against his, the motion of the train and the exertion from the day finally taking their toll on both of them. With his head resting comfortably on top of hers, they fell into a light slumber, none the wiser that Mrs. Patmore had overheard the entire exchange. She would wait until the following day to reveal her secret to Elsie, but for now, she would simply take pleasure in knowing that her two best friends had finally found their way into each other's heart.
The End.
A/N2: A special THANK YOU to DowntonIsMyLife and CrazyMaryT for encouraging me to follow through with this story and for believing in me! You ladies are TREASURES!
