The idea for this one popped into my head today, because I'm so excited for tomorrow's episode! It's a one shot, but I might do another one based off of it later. Also – it includes a "scene" from a sneak peek from 2.07, but I changed some of the details (night shift to day shift) to fit my purposes.
Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Rookie Blue.
Andy was in a terrible mood, one that had seemed to plague her since she had walked out of the house she had shared with Luke two nights earlier. She knew that when she stopped being angry, the hurt and utter betrayal of his actions would sneak in, so she was holding onto her mad as hard as she could.
She slammed the locker shut and rushed out of the locker room. She was late again, but on purpose this time. Late meant not having to talk to Luke. Late meant not having to deal with Jo. Late meant being able to avoid the questions about where she'd been the shift before, when she had been holed up at Traci's with a bottle of wine and her self-pity. She had spent 24 of the last 36 hours sad, then 12 of them working up her mad. She felt marginally bad for whoever was paired with her for today's shift, as she was in no mood to be friendly, either.
But as she stormed into the equipment room, she realized even late wasn't enough. Standing there, both seemingly annoyed that the other was there, were Luke and Sam. She turned to Sam, not ready to face Luke.
"Aren't you late for parade?" She knew she sounded harsher than she had wanted, but couldn't help it. She started to check her gun, still ignoring Luke.
Sam glanced at her, then at Luke, who was growing increasingly agitated by the second. He'd waited for her for just this reason. When Luke had strode in looking for her, his tone of voice had told Sam it was worth sticking around for. " Looks like. I could say the same for you, McNally."
She finished with her weapon without sparing a single glance at Luke. "Guess we'd both better get going, then."
Luke took a step towards her, blocking her from the door.
Her eyebrows winged up and her head titled in a challenge, but she finally met his gaze. "I'll meet you in there, Sam."
"Ok, McNally, but don't take too long." He stared at Luke. "I'll save you a seat." He loved provoking Callahan.
Luke rolled his eyes, then waited until he thought Sam was out of earshot. "Andy -"
"No." She stopped him with the single syllable, shaking her head. "Not yet." She met his gaze with an icy determination, and he sighed and moved out of her way.
"Then when?" He called out as she walked away. She didn't look back.
-0-
"So. Wanna talk?" Sam cautiously asked when they were safety alone in the car. He was driving, and for once, Andy was fine with it. She wasn't concentrating well right now anyway.
"Not really, no."
"Ok. Well, you know I'm here if ya need me." His tone sounded strange to her. Overly nice, and as if he was just a little bit gleeful. She turned her attention back to brooding.
He gave her five minutes then reached for the coffee Oliver had brought him.
"Coffee? It's all yours, if you want it. Oliver gave it to me, the bastard, trying to get me to break." He was going without coffee for the week, a bet he had lost to Jerry. He waved it in front of her, she swatted it away.
"No, no thanks." She was slightly irritated now.
"You wanna drive, just let me know. We can switch."
"Why are you being so nice to me right now?"
"I'm a nice guy." Sam shrugged. And you look miserable, he thought.
"No, you're not." She knew it wasn't true, Sam WAS a good guy. But he was being extra nice tonight. He never let her drive. "What did you hear?"
"You don't want to drive just say so." It was slightly awkward now. He wanted so badly for her to be happy, instead of the sad she was clearly trying to hide under the anger.
She knew he had heard something. And the last the she wanted right now was Sam Swarek's "I told you so." Or his pity. She resorted back to the silence.
He let her brood for another moment, then looked out at the cloudy sky. "Well, the weather's definitely turned." He remember her attempt to talk about the fall leaves the year before when he had been the angry one. "I've always loved the autumn."
"Oh my God, ok, we are taking a break, alright? Things were moving too fast, we're slowing them right down, ok? It's really not the end of the world." She could tell him, not yet, that Luke had cheated. Not until she knew what in the world she was supposed to do next. "Any more questions?"
"I didn't ask any questions," he stated.
She would have sworn she saw him grin, just a tiny bit, out of the corner of her eye. The call came in in the nick of time, she was not ready to talk any more about it, and he was too thrilled at the tiny glimmer of hope to hide it much longer.
-0-
The call was one she had now seen far too often. Man gets drunk. Man hits wife. Neighbors call police, but wife refuses to press charges. It added to her unrest, this vicious cycle of abuse. At least she could say Luke had never hit her. But wasn't cheating a sort of emotional abuse? Certainly not the same thing as physical, but hadn't learning of it sucked the air out of her chest, making it impossible to breathe? Hadn't it momentarily crippled her, knowing that her perfectly smooth life was now a lie? She had had the rug yanked out from under her, and she couldn't seem to find her balance. But she had figured out one thing. She suddenly knew what she had to do. She was ready to talk to Luke.
"Sam." They were back in the car now, heading to the barn to break for lunch.
"Yeah, McNally." He was more tired than usual today, the spousal abuse call taking its toll on him as well. He could never understand why the women stayed, why they couldn't see that there were better things out there for them.
"I need..." She wasn't sure how to continue.
"Yeah. You need to talk to Callahan." He finished for her, depressed.
She stared at his profile for a moment. How did he always know what she needed? "Yes. Can... Can you give me a few? Then we can go to the sandwich place." She hadn't forgotten their lunch plans, and had a feeling she would want his bad jokes as a distraction after what she was planning on doing.
Now that she thought about it, Sam was always a comfort for her. Distracting her from a bad call, cajoling her into smiling when she was cranky.
"You're staring, McNally. Keep it up and I'm going to get to thinking you find me irresistible." He gave her the signature Swarek grin, complete with the dimples he knew made her smile.
She nearly laughed. "I don't think your ego could get any bigger. Sir." She added sarcastically as they pulled into the barn.
"Well, have fun. I'll be here." Like always, he thought.
-0-
She found him outside, by the target range they had behind the station. He looked as if he been trying, without apparent success, to rid himself of whatever he was feeling - guilt, most likely, she thought. She stood watching him disassemble the gun, his tall frame so familiar. And the anger faded, just a touch. But in its place now was resolve.
He put the empty clip and the gun down on the table before he spoke.
"Andy. I can't even tell you how sorry I am. I made a huge mistake..."
She cut him off. "Yeah. You said that. A huge mistake. You slept with somebody else, and I found out. But which part was the mistake? Sleeping with Jo, or me finding out?"
"Andy, come on! There's nothing between Jo and me. It was a one-time thing... It didn't mean anything. I didn't mean to, and I feel so guilty..."
"Oh, I know that too. I got the flowers, and the dinners. Tell me, did you get the spa package before or after the hotel called about your credit card? Did you really go to the cabin, or did you spend the night there, with her?"
When he didn't answer, she knew. She shook her head. " I thought, for a second, that I might be able to get past this. That you, WE, meant enough to try to get back to good. But I can't, Luke. I can't get past this. Not now, not ever. You're not the man I thought you were, and I can't fake it with the hopes that someday you will be. "
He stared at her, his eyes pleading as they filled with tears. "Andy, don't so this. We can fix it. We can get back to good."
She shook her head again. " No, Luke. We can't. It's over." She turned to walk away. "I'll stay at Traci's until I find a new place. Please don't be there this weekend when I come for my things." She didn't look back as she shakily walked back inside.
-0-
When she got into the building, she couldn't focus. It was as if she had been sucker punched all over again. Through the haze, she saw Chris and Dov coming in for their lunch break. She felt panic wash over her - she couldn't face them, not right now - and then she was being pulled into the women's locker room.
"Take a minute to get steady, McNally." Sam's comforting voice penetrated her panic . He sat her down on the locker room bench and crouched in front of her, cupping her face in his hands the way he had after she'd been shot.
She stared at him for a minute, then broke. The tears rushed out, and she crouched over, away from his grasp. He helplessly watched her cry, then walked and got a damp paper towel from the sink. He sat next to her on the bench, and waited out the tears. He should be happy, he thought. McNally was no longer with Callahan. But she was so miserable, so plainly unhappy, that his heart ached for her. Finally, she stopped crying and looked up at him. He silently handed her the towel.
"He cheated on me." She finally admitted, and saying it out loud brought a new stab of pain. But this one was easier, and subsided quickly. "With Jo."
He grimaced. He hadn't thought Luke would be stupid enough to do something so juvenile, so… clichéd.
She stood up to pace. "And I know – you told me so. I get it now."
He looked at her, his eyes so expressive, and she could see the sorrow in them.
"Don't feel sorry for me, Sam. I can't take it right now. Be anything else, but don't be sorry. I did what I had to do. I can't go back, can't try to get past it. And I'll deal with the fallout. But please, of all people, I can't take you feeling sorry for me."
He stood, and crossed to her. "Ok. I won't feel sorry for you. You'll get through this, McNally. I promise, things will get better."
"Right. Better." She laughed, a low, sad sound. "Just like we tell people."
"Yeah, but you and me, we actually believe it."
For the second time that day, she stared at him as if she was seeing someone new and unfamiliar. How had she missed this side of him before? "Thank you for being here, Sam. I'm sorry I cried."
"Yeah, I'm not going to lie, I'm not a fan of the crying." She giggled. "But you're welcome, Andy. I'll always be here for you." He reached up and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, and gave her another crooked smile.
Instinctively, without thinking, she stretched up and kissed him. First a brief, comforting kiss, then his eyes changed, darkened, and she kissed him again, this time pouring herself into it. Then, just as quickly, she pulled away.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking… I mean, I wasn't thinking, and I so should not have done that." She was horrified – she had literally just ended things with her boyfriend, and here she was, accosting the one person she could count on to be there for her. She turned away, mumbling to herself about how stupid she was. Sam just stood there, dazed for a minute. He finally shook himself out of it and listened to what she was saying.
"Andy, stop." He grabbed her arms and held her still when she tried to pull away. "I get it. It's ok."
"It's just – I don't even know what I'm doing today. I am so messed up, Sam, and I just…"
"I know. Like I said. I'll be here." She couldn't mistake his meaning when he looked at her so intensely.
Suddenly, she felt balanced again. "Ok," she said, and let out a deep breath. "Ok."
-0-
When their shift was over, she was so exhausted she could barely move. Traci found her back in the locker room.
"I broke up with him today, Trace. For good."
Traci sat down next to Andy and hugged her. "I know. Swarek found me."
Andy laughed. "Leave it to Sam to cover all the bases."
"Yeah, he's pretty good at that. You ready to go? I think we can sneak out without Chris or Dov seeing us and asking you anything."
"You know what? Are you up for a quick drink? I think I'm ready to talk to them."
They made their way to the Penny, and to her relief, Sam, Chris and Dov were already there. Dov motioned to a beer that was waiting for her, and when she picked it up, he tipped the neck of his bottle to clink her glass.
"Sorry McNally," was all he said, and Andy knew that Sam had told them as well. Hell, he'd probably threatened them into not feeling sorry for her, too, she thought, and smiled the first real smile she had in days.
They'd been there for about a half hour, and were sitting all together, rookies and when Luke made an appearance. Not surprisingly, Jo was with him. Andy expected to feel a pang when she saw them together, and but all she felt was numb. They sat in the opposite corner of the bar, and she tried to focus on the story Oliver was telling her about his daughters.
Sam noticed, too, and ranged himself between Andy's eye line of them.
As soon as Oliver finished the story, Andy knew she needed to get out of there. "Traci," she started.
"Yep, let's get out of here," Traci finished. "Let me just clean out my car, Leo left quite the mess today."
"I'll drive McNally, Nash. We'll follow you back to your place." Sam took Andy's arm as she stood, and they started out.
"Oh," he said casually. "I just forgot one thing." Andy and Traci followed him with their eyes as he strode back across the bar. Andy's eyes widened as he walked up to Luke, then her hand shot to her mouth as he tapped Luke on the shoulder, and socked him once, right across the jaw, when he turned around. Then, just as calmly, he walked back to the women.
"Ok, then, McNally. Let me drive you home."
He waited until they were outside before taking her hand, and she let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding. She breathed deep, looked at Sam, and knew what he had said earlier was true – things were going to get better.
So, yeah! It turned out a bit longer than I had planned… what'd ya think? Yes? No? Maybe so?
