Warning:

mention of character death that might not be canon

Author's Note:

Finally a birthday fic...

Disclaimer:

Everything, that in some way sounds like JK Rowling (characters, plot, dialogues, etc.) belongs to her.

The mistakes (spelling, grammar, whatever) are mine, though. So, if you find some which escaped me, please send them back. I'll care for them.


Happy Birthday

Severus lay on his bed in the Slytherin dormitory, staring into nothing. It was a day just like any other, he didn't understand why everyone made such a fuss about their birthday.

Rosier had congratulated him this morning, Lucius had even sent a letter. Neither had mentioned it, but he knew why they were suddenly so nice to him. He was seventeen now, an adult, allowed to perform magic outside Hogwarts. Old enough to join the Death Eaters. He had already told them not to bother him with that matter as long as he was in school. It was stupid to even think about running around with the Dark Mark here. Dumbledore turned a blind eye on a lot of what was going on in Slytherin, but he would not ignore that. Not that he would actually care about the student, he would just put down an enemy before he could do any damage.

So, he could perform magic as he liked now. He had been looking forward to this day so long. To finally be able to do something. Protect his mother, take her and leave his father. Now it didn't matter anymore. Now she was dead. She had fallen down the stairs and broke her neck in the process. There had been a fight with some burglars, the officials had claimed. He almost snorted at the lie. Honestly, who was dumb enough to actually belief someone would brake into their house? As if there was anything of value to gain. There had definitely been a fight, that much was true. But not with a stranger.

No, there was nothing to celebrate for him. Not today, and not on any other day. 'Happy birthday', people wished each other. He had no reason to be happy, though. About what? That he survived another year? He couldn't care less. Or that he could move out now? Make his own living? There was nowhere to go for him. Not in the wizarding world and definitely not in the muggle world, where he was still a minor, anyway. He had no choice but to go back to Cokeworth one more summer. He shuddered at the mere thought of it.

He had skipped breakfast this morning, in favour of... well, being alone. But he couldn't stay in the dormitory forever, even though it was a Sunday. With a sigh he got up, went for a shower, got dressed. Half an hour later he left the comforting darkness of the dungeons. The entrance hall was unusually bright today, but at least empty. It was late enough that everyone had found something to do. Severus himself had some research for History of Magic waiting for him. Later.

He wasn't sure why, but something made him go outside. There he realized why it had been so bright inside. Fresh snow had fallen over night, another few inches. Severus didn't mind it, though. It made everything look peaceful, calm. He had always enjoyed walking through the snow. Not only because it meant being away from home.

But here, right in front of the castle, there was no sign of peace. Somehow it seemed the entire school had come outside to have a giant snowball fight. They were running around, shrieking, laughing, having fun. He spotted Lily in the middle of the fight, enjoying herself. A small smile crossed his lips at the sight. She didn't notice him, nor did anyone else. Good, he had no intention to get involved.

Severus turned away and made his way to a remote part of the grounds, on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Hardly anyone ever strolled this far from the castle. In warmer months he had often studied here with Lily.

He sat down on a small boulder, after he had cleared it from snow. A wet backside would be too embarrassing to walk around with. The scenery could be described as beautiful, if you were the kind of person to care for beauty. Only a few clouds peppered the otherwise clear blue sky. The sun reflected on the snow, making it almost blinding to look at. The trees were thickly covered in snow. On the edge of the forest at least, farther in the blanket would be thinner. The scene reminded him of another of his birthdays, in his second year at Hogwarts.

Severus walked along the shore of the lake. He enjoyed the silence around him, the last few days had been stressful enough. As soon as school had started again after the Christmas holidays, every single professor had decided to drown them in homework. Potter and his gang had returned with new ideas to make his life as uncomfortable as possible. No, to say the last few days had been relaxing was a lie.

'Hey there!', Lily called from behind him. Startled he turned around, he hadn't noticed her approaching. 'What are you doing out here, alone?'

'Taking a breath.' Escaping from the constant presence of others around him. It was one of the few things about Hogwarts he didn't like. That there was always someone around. There were days when he even felt trapped inside. But today he had finally found a moment to slip out and be on his own. Lily didn't count, of course, he didn't mind her presence. Sometimes it was soothing just to be near her.

She nodded. Severus doubted she understood what he meant, how precious these little moments of loneliness could be to him. But she accepted that he needed them, it was all that mattered to him.

'But it's your birthday. No one should spend their birthday alone!', she pushed nevertheless. He rolled his eyes in answer. Of course she wouldn't forget about that. At least she hadn't brought a present. They had agreed not to make gifts to each other. Mainly because he couldn't afford it and didn't want to be in her debt. At first she had tried to argue, she wouldn't mind. After some time she had let it drop, thankfully.

'I'm not alone, am I?', Severus said, winking, a half-smile on his lips. Now it was on Lily to fake annoyance. Suddenly a wicked grin crossed her face. Oh no, not a good sign, especially not in winter, with snow lying around.

'Well then, let's have a snowball fight!' Not an invitation, more of an order. He didn't really have a choice either, as the first snowball came flying at him almost immediately. It was a narrow miss, but he couldn't just let that sit on him.

Severus didn't know whether to smile or be sad on this memory. Smile, because they had had a great time. True, they had been soaked and freezing afterwards, but it had been fun, absolutely worth it. Sad, because it would never happen again.

Suddenly he realized how cold it had become. How long had he been out here? It had even started to snow again. Time to go to the library, then. History of Magic was due on Wednesday and he had barely started his essay.

His moment of peace for the day was over, now work was calling again. After all, birthdays were just like any other day.