*I don't own Harry Potter*

Harry Potter was nervous. He really wanted to date Hermione Granger, the pretty girl in school, but he was to nervous to ask her out. They had been friends for so long…

Suddenly his best friend Ron came.

"Oy Harry, what's up?" he said simply.

"I want to ask Hermione out but I'm not sure I can," Harry replied sadly.

"Nah, don't worry, she digs you , I know."

"Really!!" Harry exclaimed.

"Yeah, she told me herself. Told me 'I really like that Harry' she did," Ron said.

Harry jumped up high.

"Thanks Ron, I'll go ask her out!" he yelled.

So he ran over to Hermione Granger who was on the other side of the room talking to some friends.

"H-Hi Hermione," Harry stammered.

Hermione looked at him for a moment and then turned back.

"Oh hello Harris," she said bored.

"It's H-Harry…" he shook his head. "Anyway I wanted to ask you something," he said.

"What?"

"Will you go out with me?"

Hermione looked at him with wide eyes.

"Oh Harry! … No."

Harry's jaw dropped.

"What? Why? I thought you liked me!" he stammered.

At this point Hermione started to laugh thoroughly and loudly. There was one point during the laughter where it sounded as though she would stop laughing. But she continued. She laughed and she laughed and she laughed.

"But why?" Harry whimpered.

"Oh Harry, I'm sorry. You're just too ugly. Horribly, horribly ugly," she answered.

Harry stared at her.

"No…no I'm not…"

"Yes you are Harry," Hermione said. "You're really ugly. I can't stand looking at you. It kind of makes me want to kick you in the balls."

Then she kicked him in the balls.

"AAAARGH!!!" Harry yelled. "WHY!!!?"

Hermione giggled.

"I thought I told you. Because you're ugly, silly!"

Defeated and totally emasculated, Harry limped back over to Ron who was reading a book.

"Ron!" Harry said, "I thought you said Hermione liked me! But she called me ugly and kicked me in the balls!"

Ron looked up.

"Well, yeah, I lied," Ron said simply.

"WHAT!!?" Harry yelled.

"Yeah. I needed a laugh, so I told you Hermione liked you. You gave me a good laugh, though, Harry, thanks chap."

Harry looked at him incredulously.

"But she said I was ugly," he said.

"And you are," Ron answered. "Really ugly. Actually it kinda makes me want to kick you in the balls."

Ron went back to his book and read. Harry sighed and started to walk upstairs to his dorm room. But when he turned around, Ron kicked him in the balls.

"AAARGH!!!!! ARGHAA!!!" he yelled as he fell on the floor and rolled around in agonizing pain.

And Harry never asked another girl out again.