The mighty boosh fan fiction
The cheese Demon
It was early one morning when Vince was woken with a jump, he had, had a pretty nasty nightmare.
He got up and was walking to his mirror when he saw a small block of cheese on the floor. He picked it up and smelt it. "Hair first then breakfast!" he said to himself referring to the cheese he had just found. He straightened his hair and made it pretty then he went over to the cheese and was just about to take a bite of the lush, beautiful, divine smelling cheese when Naboo came in and shouted at Vince. "Don't eat that!"
"Why, is it yours?" he asked wondering why Naboo would leave his cheese on his bedroom floor.
"No, why would I eat cheese?"
"Well maybe you were....." Vince didn't get to finish his comeback because Naboo butted in
"This is cheese from the planet xooberon it can carry diseases or poison!"
Naboo went and got a little scanner like you would see at an airport and ran it over the cheese."
A little red light appeared on the ceiling that said EVIL in bold letters.
"If you had eaten that you would have died."
Vince stared at Naboo until he got freaked out and left the room.
Vince went to brush his teeth but while he is doing so a plant with a block of cheese for a head, an eye on both side and leaf and root hands and feet appeared at the window. The plant stared at Vince. Vince stared back using the same stare he had used to freak Naboo out. The stare had no affect on the plant. Vince turned away to put his toothbrush in the cupboard but when he looked back the plant was gone. Vince looked out the window for any clues to where it might be but it was scarce.
Vince ran straight to Naboo and told him what had happened and Naboo calmly lifted out his book of demons and showed Vince a picture of a plant and asked him if it resembled the thing he saw.
It was a drawing of a plant just like the cheese plant he had seen in the window.
Thankfully Naboo knew what to and gave Vince a ring with a violet gem in the middle.
"Wear this at all times." He told Vince
"Thanks but I'll have to change to wear this."
"This ring has great importance."
"Oh really?"
"If you rub cheese on it the gem shall change colour."
"What colour is bad cheese?"
"if it is bad it will be dark, black being the worst."
"What about good cheese?"
"Violet."
"Got it!"
At lunch time Howard and Vince went out to have lunch.
First Vince ordered a banana. The lady handed it to him but as soon as he held it the banana turned to cheese. Vince stared at it somewhat confused.
"Is there a problem with that banana?" the lady asked
"No" Vince replied and sat down
"I saw that." Howard said as he sat down
"It was weird." Vince said
Vince took a bite of the cheese after rubbing it on the ring because it turned violet.
"What does it taste like?" Howard asked him as his swallowed
"It tastes just like a banana!" said Vince flabbergasted
They left the shop but not before Vince had bought a chocolate bar which now, to them, looked like cheese!
Vince took a bite of the cheese.
"Did you check that on your ring?"
"No"
"Why not that could kill you!"
"Well I know what it is, it's chocolate!"
"Well don't eat any more until you check it."
"Why bother!" Vince said taking another bite
"Don't do that!" Howard yelled as he swiped it out of his hands
"Give me the ring!"
"Give me my cheese!"
"Look, just give me the ring."
"Fine" Vince said holding out the ring but as Howard grabbed it Vince changed his mind and tried to swipe it back but in the end the ring and the cheese both fell out of their hands and went down into a drain.
"Now look what you did!" Howard said
"What I did?" Vince replied shocked
They both walked off but what they didn't know was that the cheese landed on top of the gem and it turned a deep black.
When they got home Vince ran straight to the bathroom and didn't come out for three hours!
Howard knew exactly what was going on and decided that it was for his own good.
Naboo came out of his room after hearing three hours worth of retching and throwing up.
"Whats going on?" he asked Howard
"Go talk to Vince about that."
"Where is he?"
"In his room."
Naboo went into Vince's room and found him in his bed.
"Vince?"
Vince was facing the wall and did not reply to Naboo even though he was fully awake.
"Are you all right?"
Vince felt terrible but he didn't want to tell Naboo why.
"I know you are awake." Naboo said but he didn't really, he just hoped that if he was awake that he would trick him.
Vince had been the victim of this trick before and knew to stay still and silent.
Naboo left the room still wondering if Vince had tricked him instead.
"So what did he say?" Howard asked imagining the whole story and their expressions.
"He's sleeping." Naboo said a bit disappointed because the look on Howard's face suggested that it might have been a pretty good story.
"No, he's not!" said Howard getting up and storming into Vince's room like a headmaster would do to find a runaway child.
"Vince!" Howard yelled
"What?" Vince asked still not moving but he had to reply because he knew that Howard knew he was awake.
"Naboo, Come here!"
Naboo entered the room to see Vince even paler than normal face.
"What happened?" he asked Vince
"Nothing." Vince replied lying down again and rolling onto his side.
"Vince, tell the truth." Howard demanded
"Where's Bollo?"
"He is out getting some supplies."
"Oh, could you tell him that I want him when he comes back?"
"Will do"
"Stop changing the subject and tell Naboo what happened." Howard said
"The ring went down the gutter." He said quietly
"What?"
"The ring went down the gutter." He said repeating it with such regret in his voice that he nearly cried.
"Did you get it back?"
"No, but it's not my fault!
"Whose fault is it then?"
Vince looked at Howard going to blame him but Howard mouthed "Don't you dare!"
"It was some old lady."
"How?"
"She hit me with her bag and pulled it off my finger."
"Why didn't you get it back?"
"I don't know." Vince said as he pulled the covers over his head like a child that was hoping his parents would go away.
"Vince, I have a feeling that you are lying."
"I am." Vince said stubbornly getting bored of lying. His head was too sore to make any witty excuses so he had given up but at least he could say that he had tried.
"Tell me the truth." Naboo said more sternly than last time.
Vince tried to reply but all that came out was a mess of words and gibberish.
"Are you okay?"
Again Vince tried to reply but it wasn't translatable.
Naboo walked out of the room positive that Vince was just being stubborn so he went and got his book of spells.
"Vince, come here or you are in deep trouble."
Vince tried to come but his legs shook and he fell to the floor.
"Vince?"
Howard tried to bring Vince back round but he was deeply unconscious.
Howard decided to be kind to his friend and told Naboo what happened and that it was his fault instead of Vince's.
