In honour of Valentine's Day, I give you this. I really don't care if you think Valentine's Day is some commercialism bullshit holiday made up by the government or a day to celebrate the love of another person, but I have to say I'll go for any holiday that involves me getting free chocolate.

Therefore, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! I hope your day is filled with chocolaty good.

Enjoy the fic.


"I'm telling you, Maka, Valentine's Day is just some corporate scheme to get people to buy their crappy chocolate and their cheesy cards so that their company profits go up!"

"Geez, Soul, just once I'd like to spend a holiday with out you acting like a total hippie! If you don't want my chocolate, I'll eat it myself!"

"The hell you will. Cool guys accept chocolate from girls on Valentine's Day no matter how much they're buying into commercialism." Soul took the chocolates from Maka, leaning forward to place a small peck on her lips.

"Speaking of commercialism, what do you want for White Day?"

Soul popped a chocolate into his mouth and watched with amusement as his meister turned several shades of red.

"Mmm," he said, smirking "Caramel."


Tsubaki looked on with disdain atop a store roof with her meister who was, once again, the source of her less than perky mood.

"Black Star, maybe we should go home now. Y'know, before the police get here."the multi-weapon said to her bewildered looking partner. Black Star turned to her, a huge smirk of self-renewed confidence stretching across his face.

"Nonsense, Tsubaki! How could I, The Great and Mighty Black Star, possibly let the undeniable feelings of my mountains of female fans go unheard?! So, let's try this again! Ahem, TO ALL THE LADIES IN THE AREA, THE ALL POWERFUL BLACK STAR IS HERE TO RECEIVE YOUR CHOCOLATE!"

The shoppers looked up for only a moment before returning to their errands. Black Star frequented this area often. It was no longer a surprise to see some idiot blue-haired Shibusen student and his clearly humiliated partner standing on top of one building or another as the boy screamed something about greatness. As his audience began to walk away and, as had it been before, no girl coming forward to express her undying affection for him, Black Star's look of befuddlement returned.

"I don't get it, Tsubaki. Why has no one come to give me candy?" Black Star said, and took an opportunity to think this dilemma through. After a moment, a big smile came to our favourite ninja's face as he reached his enlightened answer.

"Tsubaki! I have it! They are clearly all afraid of my HUGE presence and are too scared to come over! HAHAHAHA, OF COURSE!" As Tsubaki took in this latest dose of Black Star brand idiocy, said idiot turned to the crowd again, "HAHA, look upon my Greatness in sheer awe, peons, for I, The Most Benevolent Black Star, have decided to let you insignificants live with your cowardice! After all, it is only natural to feel nervous and inadequate around the single GREATEST being to ever grace your incredibly fortunate eyes! Let's go home, Tsubaki! HYA-HOOO!"

Tsubaki looked as her partner jumped from building to building to their home and sighed. Well, she could just give him the chocolate later.


"Kid. As often as this happens, I have to say it. You're being ridiculous." Liz said as she watched the shinigami look at the sweet confection that she and Patty had spent the greater part of last night and well into the early morning making.

"Yeah, Kiddo! Just EAT it already! I want some too~!" Patty whined looking at the chocolate whilst drooling.

"I-I can't." the boy said, tears of joy in his eyes, "Don't you see? It is beauty, it is perfection, it is-"

"Chocolate!" the girls said in unison.

"SYMMETRY!!!" Death the Kid cried, spinning around to show them the chocolate. It was in the shape of a perfectly angled heart with eight, eight perfectly straight and evenly spaced lines etched in vertically with equal depth.

Liz growled. She didn't know why, but she had really hoped that he could just take their chocolate like a normal person, but of course that was impossible.

"We know it's symmetrical, Kid, it took us all night to make it that way!"

"I wanna eat the damn choco~!!!" Patty cried again.

"You can't have that one, Patty, it's Kid's!" Liz shouted, "Your chocolate is in the kitchen!"

"YAAAY! CHOCO~!!" Patty raced off to acquire her candy, and Liz came up with a plan.

"Ne, Kid. If you don't eat the chocolate, y'know what'll happen?" she said ominously.

Kid, looking worried, faced Liz with all seriousness.

"What? What will happen to this masterpiece?"

"It'll..." she leaned next to Kid and whispered in his ear, "MELT."

"NOOOO! I couldn't bear it if that happened! I must do something."

"Eat it." she said.

"I couldn't possibly! Not after you both worked so hard to make this for me!" Kid shouted in anguish as Patty walked back in, chomping happily on her own sweets, just in time to watch her older sister snap.

"JUST WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE MADE IT FOR IN THE FIRST PLACE, YOU DAMN BRAT!" Liz pounced on Kid, trying to shove the chocolate heart down the boy's neck as the cheers and laughter of Patty joined in the noise.


"Stein, do you know what day it is?" Marie asked. Stein took a drag on his cigarette.

"Thursday?"

"Um, Sunday, but it's also something else." she replied.

"Oh, I got this. Happy Birthday, Marie. Congrats on surviving another ye-"

"My birthday's in June, Stein." Marie said, getting increasingly annoyed.

"It's not June yet?" Stein said, genuinely surprised.

"Holy, crap, Stein! When was the last time you went outside?!" The pretty blond cried. Stein thought a moment.

"When was the last time I had to sign for a package of parts?"

"Ugh!" Marie threw her hands in the air, "It's Valentine's Day, Stein, Happy Valentine's Day!"

"Ah, Valentine's Day. The one day of the year to fully exploit human affection and suck the money right out of the wallets of those who in return get fake sentimentalities printed on thin pieces of cardboard and large amounts of fattening sweets that will take weeks to work off but only minutes to put on." Stein said as he crushed out the small remnants of his cigarette only to pull out the box to take another one. Marie stole the pack from him before he had the chance.

"It's not like that! Valentine's Day is a day girls from around the country give chocolates to the ones they love to express their feelings for them, not to make them fat." Marie spat the last word like a bad taste in her mouth, "And the cards are there so that people who can't express their feelings through spoken word, whether their loved ones are far away or they themselves can't say it the way they'd like. The card may even serve as a symbol for someone that no matter what, somebody loves them."

Marie spun Stein's chair around to face her, "And who the heck are you to talk about eating fatty candies, I've seen you eat half a dozen cinni-buns just because you could." She snapped.

"Touche." the man said, cranking his head screw, "Now, if you would, my smokes, Marie."

Rather than hand him his the small pack, Marie scowled and stormed out of the room, only to return a moment later, holding a pink and heart decorated mug. She slammed it on the table, it's contents nearly spilling out the top and her killer strength sending cracks on his desk.

"Here, you rude shut-in. I'll be in the kitchen, marking papers."

Stein made a small grunt of acknowledgment as Marie stomped out of his office muttering about him being the most unromantic husband in the universe. Taking a small sip, Stein stared at the cup in shock. This wasn't coffee. Stein allowed a small smile to cross his features.

"When was the last time I had hot chocolate?" he wondered aloud. Stein took a second sip happily, debating if he should try his hand at sewing stuffed animals, rather than people, for white day.


Valentine's Day was like a battle for Kim. It's not that she had to actually fight people, it's that she had to make a strategy, draw up a plan. Ask Jacqueline, Kim had been up a good portion of the night thinking about how to work up the least amount of calamity when handing her chocolate to her boyfriend, the ever enthusiastic lover Ox Ford. Kim knew, as did all meisters, that with all great battles came damage. She was certain that there would be no way at all that Ox would not embarrass her on Valentine's Day. The trick was to work up a plan that would minimize the amount of humiliation that Ox would undoubtedly cause her. This, she believed she had accomplished.

1) Buy chocolate – home made chocolate would give him cause to run around screaming about how wonderful and beautiful her chocolate was to anybody within the area.

2) Give them to him in a secluded, yet open area (ex. The Park) – the less amount of people there are the hear Ox explode with joy the better. Open areas allow for running away should he try to hug/kiss/touch you.

3) Be certain Harvar is in the area – Harvar couldn't care less about Kim giving Ox chocolate and will absorb Ox's inane babbling about it without telling anyone else.

4) Go on a date with him afterward – if Ox is left alone after having received the Ox equivalent to the Holy Grail he will tell every moving being that passes him all about it. Going on a date will allow you to pick and choose who he tells, preferably (and unlikely) no one at all.

The next day, all of the necessities of her plan were in place. However, Kim had overlooked one major detail: Ox had a cell phone.


I hope you liked my VALENTINE'S DAY EXTRVEGANZA!!!!! It's a whole day late, I know, but who cares, I recall writing a new years fic in July before I forgot my password.

Hope you liked it, review if you'd like to!