One day it was bright and beautiful on Whale Island, barely a single cloud in the sky.

Gon is sitting at the edge of a rock fishing as he usually would be.

Suddenly there's a tug on the line, Gon quickly jolts it up with animal like reflexes.

"YAAAAAAATTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Yells Gon as what appears to be a giant fish comes barreling out of the water.

The look of excitement on Gon's face however quickly melts away as he realizes the squirming creature at the end of his pole is actually Hisoka.

Today Hisoka is sporting a pure white frilly wedding dress (As he commonly sports) and is staring at Gon like a Jew stares at a pile of gold.

"Hisoka, can't you find someone else to bother today? I just finished being raped by every living creature on the island ten minutes ago" States Gon unabatedly.

"No, aueegh" Hisoka holds the back of his wrist to his forehead. "I simply can't, see...I was on this island ten minutes ago."

Gon looks at Hisoka intently as his scared and confused meter begins to rise.

"You must let me rape you Gon, for the good of all of us." Hisoka insists.

"But the animals on this island are my friends, they've lived here since I was born, I don't owe you anything."

"Non, non Gon, but oh you do...Indeed, it would appear I've lived on this island silently fapping to you since your father dropped you off here." Hisoka retorts snidely.

"My Father, Ging? You mean Ging right? GING? YOU KNOW GING!? GIIIINNGGGGG!? GGGGGGGGGGIIINNNNNNGGGGGGGGXOXOXOXO AAAAAAHHHHHHHH WHERE IS GING?! NGNGNGNGNG!?" Gon replies softly and with all forms of composure.

"Yes, I do Gon, he's in my asshole, you should reach inside." Hisoka whispers with narrowed eyes as his gay ass smile intensifies.

Gon begins to reach inside Hisoka's asshole but somehow gets spooked by a fox or some shit, and he jumps straight in, this strikes Hisoka's G spot and Hisoka covers the entire island in bungee cum...there were no survivors.

Once inside Hisoka's asshole Gon begins rubbing his head and observing his surroundings, "GING!? GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!?" Gon whispers with the softest of voices.

Suddenly, amongst the pink and brown walls Gon notices a door. Upon stepping through the door Gon's scared and confused meter reaches its peak, and he begins to shit uncontrollably. For what he sees on the other side of the door, is Morel...wearing gardening attire...sitting at a poker table.

"I've been waiting for you Gon." Morel says coolly as he sets down a card, adjusts his frillly hat, and takes a sip of lukewarm lemonade.

"You see, Ging stationed me to wait in here for you, I am of course, a clone, but I have an important message." Morel smiles and says this with his gravest tone.

"GING!? GIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG!? GGGGGIIINNNGNNNNIIIIGGGGG!? AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!?" Gon thinks to himself as he flails uncontrollably with rag doll like physics, knocking all the cards off the poker table, as well as spilling lemonade all over Morel's dick.

Morel begins to weep softly before starting with the rest of the warning." Gi- I mean...your father says, don't go inside Hisoka's asshole. Come to think of it, why did he tell me to tell you that if we're already here?"

"Anyway, after being in here for...ten years at least, I'm gonna go ahead and get out of here." Morel activates his smoky ass and then dissipates into a cloud of nothingness.

Gon finally stops flailing when he sees another door, it appears that Gon's violent shitting from earlier actually formed a new door behind him. This was of course, no doubt, part of Ging's plan.

While Gon begins walking the eighty-seven miles required to reach the new door, a new scene is unfolding outside.

"Hisoka, if you don't tell me what you did with Gon, I'm going to have Leorio fight you." Threatens Killua as he clenched his fist/butthole with a look of absolute seriousness on his face.

Upon hearing this, Hisoka's face turns to a look of sheer terror.

"No, anything but that! It would be so boring I might die!" Hisoka yells as he begins to shit himself uncontrollably from fear.

"Hey, I could kick your ass any day you shitty pink clown!" Leorio shouts while pointing for some reason. "And it would be so intense you wouldn't even have time to be scared enough to start shitting!" Leorio's posturing makes Hisoka chuckle a little, but inevitably he gets so bored he starts jacking off to the rock Gon was sitting on.

Killua seems to be intensely stumped, but suddenly his look turns to surprise as he notices a door made of shit on the ground.

Killua urges Leorio to go with him inside the door to save Gon, but upon hearing the words "Save Gon." Leorio gets so triggered he begins eating shit off the ground for some reason.

Killua shrugs his shoulders realizing this could go on for several hours, and he begins following the nuclear shit trail Hisoka left to the door that's somehow well over sixty miles away.

Gon has, in the three-minute interlude, finished walking all eighty-seven miles. This is of course, in spite of the fact, that he was walking about three miles per hour.

As he reaches for the door handle, Gon's animal senses pick up a strong aura from the other side of the door. His eyes narrow into a look of intensity, and as he opens the door his look of intensity turns into a look of sheer horror, then of sheer intensity, then back to horror, then he gets scared and confused again and begins shitting uncontrollably.

On this side of the door Gon is witnessing Youpi raping Pouf, raping Pitou, raping Meruem, raping that faggy nerd from the Hunter exam for some reason.

By witnessing this, Gon has come to two stunning realizations. Firstly, he's getting pretty damn sick of rape, and secondarily, he previously squashed Pitou's organs, skinned her, and made a fur coat which he is now wearing.

Gon begins noping the fuck out and walks towards the next door, when he notices a little girl playing some sort of board game off in the distance. He would sit down to play with her, but Gon ain't got time for dat shit. He proceeds to jack that loli and heads for the door.

Meruem is startled by his prized loli being stolen by a tiny shota, he would applaud the bravery, however he is now too busy dealing with the biggest rage boner of his entire life.

Pouf promptly asks his majesty if he may suck him off, but instead receives a tail burrowed so far up his asshole it pulls out his pink sock. The chase begins.

Meanwhile...

"I'm surprised you actually made it to the door Leorio, no less at the same time as me." Killua says as he smirks back at Leorio.

"Well, I'm a master shit eater, and all the shit was leading to this one point." Leorio answers as he rubs the back of his head.

The two of them open the door and take their first steps inside.

The first thing visible in the room is Kuropika, Killua takes a step back aghast at what he's seeing. However he's upstaged be Leorio who is not only shitting uncontrollably but catching it and eating it at the same time.

Kuropika is standing in the corner masturbating furiously to a tied and bound Chrollo who looks intensely fearful, which is uncharacteristic to say the least.

"Kuropika, what the hell are you doing here?" Killua can't help to shout because he's just so surprised.

"I was told by Ging t-..."

"GI-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-INNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG!" Gon interrupts as he flies across the room and out the door.

Kuropika is struggling to regain his composure, but he really has no idea what's going on.

Things get even more weird when Meruem comes dashing through with Pouf strung along by the anus, Youpi trying to grab hold of Pouf's arm and...wait, where's Pitou?

It appears Pitou has reverted to a pile of well tenderized meat.

Ging somehow awaits Gon on the other side of the door, holding a bouquet of flowers, and a box of chocolates. Unfortunately for Ging, Gon is in such a frenzy that as he runs by he dickslaps him in the face and begins astro boying the fuck off turtle island.

Ging weeps gently on the ground, his incest pedophile dreams crushed.

But Meruem's pedophile dreams live to see another day, he drops Pouf off his tail onto Ging's fetal positioned body, Pouf is now also weeping gently.

Komugi begins biting Gon in the dick because she's fucking cranky, and wants her humanoid ant creature third cousin twice removed from Cell. This buys Meruem enough time to catch up.

"Give me back my loli!" Shouts Meruem with an enraged voice, face, and boner.

"I can't, she's the plot device!" Gon yells back with surprisingly similar energy.

Meruem is taken aback, "What the hell is a plot device?" he ponders this to himself for the next fourteen days while sitting in his castle.

Gon sits in a desert somewhere sulking, he wanted to have sex with Komugi, but he can't seem to find her penis. He thought for sure she'd be just like Killua.

Killua, Kuropika, and Leorio died on whale island due to radiation from Hisoka's jizz.

Hisoka walked over and comforted Ging. "In due time my friend, we must wait, the seed will blossom soon." They proceeded to bungee gum swing off the island before the rest of it was engulfed in salty tears and other such salty things.

Oh and Chrollo died of dehydration.

At this moment, Meruem approaches Gon in the desert..."You must tell me what a plot device is, not a single book in the world can tell me." Meruem commands calmly.

"Oh, well...I'm not sure, I think I made it up." Gon laughs and rubs his back.

Meruem realizes he just wasted two entire weeks of loli time, and begins turning into a blonde bara.

Gon turns into his bara form and they begin having the smack down of the century.

This battle would have contained many details, but unfortunately after only a few minutes the world was annihilated by a black hole.

It appears Zushi has finally finished building his doomsday device...