As the Argo II descended through the sky, I could feel the pit of my stomach going with it. Camp Jupiter was only a minute or two away now, and that sinking feeling changed to a burning in my cheeks. I looked around at the deck, and knew I was being stupid. I shouldn't be worried right now, of all times.
We'd done it. I repeated it to myself, stil hardly able to believe it. Everyone was still celebrating. Frank had transformed into a huge elephant and was trumpeting as loudly as he could. Hazel was on his back looking triumphant even with claw marks on her cheeks and half a jean leg missing. Leo was leaning against the railing, one leg propped in a cast, one arm slung around Reyna, who'd tucked down a little to make it less awkward, since she was a few inches taller. He was beaming and his mouth was moving a mile a minute. She smiled politely as she massaged her burnt hands before bursting into laughter a second later.
Percy and Annabeth were standing on the other side of the deck, hand in hand, shooting relieved grins at each other. Another wave of guilt and fear crept up, and the longer I watched the bigger it got. They looked the worse for wear, of course: a week in Tartarus had left them a chewed up mishmash of burns, cuts, and bruises, but they couldn't possibly look happier if they'd been gassed by a crazed dentist. My mom is probably dancing her heart out at having done so well with all of us.
Then my eyes hit the one person I wanted to see most. Blond hair with one side sticking up in all directions from a hellhound tongue bath, shirt cleaved in two to make a vest, patches of jean gone, either ripped or slashed away, and missing a shoe. The other one this time, as Annabeth had pointed out. He forced the last of our healing supplies, a sliver of Ambrosia, into Coach Hedge's hands and gave Nico a pointed look that made the son of Hades' mouth stop moving. Nico and Reyna had been the only ones to touch the Doors of Death directly. Reyna still couldn't hold anything four hours later, and she'd only been in contact for a few seconds. Nico had held it open for a full minute.
Jason left Nico with Coach Hedge and came over to me, smiling that frustratingly perfect smile. He'd been amazing. He'd stopped us from losing ourselves in hopelessness after Percy and Annabeth fell into Tartarus. He'd managed to avoid WWIII with Camps Half-Blood and Jupiter. He'd even fought a dozen undying monsters at once to give Percy, Frank and I the time we needed. He was perfect. He was a son of Jupiter. He had to be.
So why did I find myself completely unable to look him in the eye?
"Pipes, the VIP party is going to be over in a few minutes, you know." I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. I was suddenly reminded that my sleeve had been burned off, and that there was a chunk of my ponytail splintered and dripping in monster saliva. And that the boy of my dreams was looking at me like this. But, for some reason, I felt much better when I thought that.
"I know, it's just, there's always something. Something else." I said. Jason didn't argue. He knew it. Leo and Reyna knew it. I guess Frank, Hazel, Percy and Annabeth knew it, too.
Suddenly, there was an arm around my waist, and I was weightless. The breeze flowed all around with with only one solid thing in the world at my side. I looked up at Jason, smiling back with the clouds in the background.
"This make you feel any better?"
"Could you stop being so... so... perfect?"
He grinned at that, and in spite of myself I grinned back. I did feel much better. The Piper from before, with all the worries weighing her down, was still stewing on the deck of the Argo II, lonely and miserable. Jason spun through the air and we bounced higher, and we left her behind.
"Let me hear you say it, Piper!" He shouted. He shot me a satisfied smirk and I returned a pout. "Just once? For me!"
We were in the clouds now. The brisk chill of the water hit me, and I realized I was as far away from Tartarus as I could possibly be. High in the sky with his son holding me close. Jason stopped the wind, we drifted out of the cloud, slowly and gently, and I looked at him once more before sucking in a breath so big Aeolus would've been proud.
"WOO HOO! WE SAVED THE WORLLLD!"
Jason and I laughed, and suddenly the wind was whooshing through my ears as we zoomed around in the air. Twists, turns, spins, and one very A-for-effort loop-de-loop. We ducked back within sight of the Argo II to find the specks all our friends waving or gesturing to us. A huge bald eagle drew next to us and I could've sworn it winked.
"Race you, Frank?" Jason asked.
"Don't you dare!" I said with a grin.
"Show offs!" Percy shouted from the deck.
We zoomed down, the wind whipping what was left of me and Jason's hair around our faces, with Frank gliding very securely in the lead. Just when I was sure we'd hit the deck and I'd be closer to the both of them than I ever thought possible, I felt Jason shift suddenly, and the bald eagle bucked a ninety degree ascent back into the skies right as we hit a funnel of air that made the world suddenly spin on its side.
I realized my feet were on solid ground for the first time what could have been an eternity. I took a second to regain my bearings and not keel over before realizing everyone was coming over. We watched as the bald eagle descended and transformed into our friend Frank, who was the only one of us undamaged. Though, he'd definitely had it just as rough at the Doors of Death.
"I won with cargo and you were one of the best fliers around!" Jason patted Frank on the shoulder in consolation. I wasn't sure how to feel about the cargo comment until Hazel came up next to me and muttered something about boys. I returned an affirmative mutter.
"You just gotta want it more." Percy had come around his other side and was patting his shoulder just the same.
Frank threw both his arms out and drew them both in a one arm half-headlock half-hug. "Way easier to say when you're dad's the god of the skies, right?"
"Everyone!" Reyna suddenly shouted.
I spun around as everyone on deck, even Nico and Coach Hedge, looked stunned for a moment before similarly surging toward to the railing. Reyna, Hazel, Frank, Percy, and Jason waved the hardest. Annabeth and Leo exchanged a grin and then waved as well.
I suddenly felt a lot heavier than I had before. I was sure if I tried to go down the rope to get to solid ground I'd crash and make a nice Piper-sized hole in Camp Jupiter. Leo took a satisfied look around, and right as he turned to me and opened his mouth, he looked past me and I thought his jaw was going to hit the floor. He glanced next to him to Coach Hedge, then back past me, then to Coach Hedge, then past me.
"No one's piloting this thing!" He shouted.
Coach Hedge continued waving obliviously as Leo limped as fast as he could over to me. I couldn't help but smile as I rushed forward to help him. Within seconds we were hovering over Camp Jupiter. Reyna and Percy were the first down the rope and Jason didn't even wait for that. He leaped right over the side.
"Jason!" Leo and I shouted. Then we exchanged glances and shared a chuckle. I heard Percy shout "Show off!" as I rushed over. The Roman demigods had swamped their three Praetors. I knew that time was running down. Percy shot a beam of pearly whites a mile wide at Annabeth, but I just knew what she was feeling someone deep in myself. Whatever look she returned, he gave her a confident grin and went back to his Roman friends.
"Piper."
I almost jumped. "Yeah, Annabeth?"
She clapped me on the shoulder and pulled me into a hug. "You did good today. We all did." She separated us, hands still on my shoulders, and looked me in the eye. "Remember that, okay?"
She knew. Her knowing just made it even worse. But I managed to smile. Courtesy of mom, no doubt. Always have to be the picture of poise. "Yeah, I know."
Nico drew up to us. He radiated this cold loner vibe like normal, real bad boy type stuff, but I'd seen him in pain. He'd seen me the same. We'd suffered together. The strange kid I'd met a week ago was now one of my closest friends. I pulled him close with an arm around his shoulders. He was still only 12, maybe 13. I'd never had a younger brother. I saw him blush with more color than I thought he had in his whole body.
"I only came over to tell you Coach says we're leaving in two hours." The pit in my stomach did the high dive again. This time, we were only a few hundred feet aboveground. I could almost see the Piper-sized hole below my feet. It was getting more and more real by the second, and now I had a timeframe. Oh gods, why was this so hard?
"Nico!" Came a gruff shout from across the deck. The young son of Hades let out an exasperated sigh through a suppressed smirk.
"Okay, fine, he said the Greeks and ladygoats are waiting for him, and anyone who values their hide should be back in two hours."
"'Hide' is not the word I used!"
Nico made his way back over, arguing how he got the point across anyway, and I turned to look back at the Roman reunion going on. A few small straggler crowds were still walking away, and I could even see Leo and Reyna making their way to Camp Jupiter. Only Jason was down there, sporting a fresh new purple Camp Jupiter t-shirt, and I realized Nico and Coach would be staying onboard. I made my way down, being extra careful that I was the correct weight, and joined him.
He handed me a purple t-shirt, I held on to it but didn't put it on. "Where'd everyone else go?" I asked.
"The Roman demigods were kind of, thrown out of Tartarus before the final final battle, so a lot of them went back to the infirmary. The Greek ones too, I mean. So, everyone's banged up, but no one is dead." His sigh of relief released the weight that was probably on his shoulders, and I could've sworn mine sagged a little more.
"Where did the other members of the seven go?"
Jason smiled at me, and for the first time in a long while he didn't seem like the all-knowing son of Jupiter, always prepared, always living to save another's life. He was just a teenage boy. Very cute and just as clueless. "Frank and Hazel went to the barracks with some of the Fifth Cohort, but Reyna, and Leo and Percy and Annabeth wanted to talk alone."
I looked up at the Argo II and knew this wasn't the place to talk. I let him bask in his successes so far. Everyone, both Greek and Roman, had helped to make sure we all didn't die. One more breather couldn't hurt. "Hey, Jason," I said finally, "Can you show me that Jupiter temple again?" He threw an arm around my shoulder and walked me through New Rome.
I saw satyrs, well, I guess they'd be fauns here, and gave one of them a golden drachma against Jason's warnings. Like flies to week old takeout, we got swamped with dozens more, right before Jason summoned a gust, I asked them in the nicest possible way to buzz off. Okay, maybe with a little charmspeak. A horde of buzzing fauns descended on Camp Jupiter as me and Jason laughed until our sides hurt. We didn't get very far before the a lar, one of the purple ghosts of the camp, started scolding us for messing with the fauns, then for parking a battleship over the Camp, and then for being alone together. This time, Jason stepped in. He insinuated that the other lares would be off making sure they could keep the fauns out of trouble best. Insulted, the lar rushed off to show up his fellow ghosts.
By the time we made it to the Jupiter shrine, we'd been laughing so hard we could barely breathe. Jason took one huge breath, patted himself on the chest, and then waited for me.
"Jupiter Optimus Maximus." He said. He looked in, at the forty foot tall golden statue and marveled. "My dad, the best and greatest."
All the humor drained out of me. I sat on the grass in front of the shrine and Jason followed suit. I could see his smile fading as he realized my frown reached from corner to corner. As soon as he opened his mouth to speak, my words came rushing up like nausea. Either they were coming out, or my lunch was.
"We can't-I can't-stay here."
Jason looked like I'd punched him. I'd felt like I'd taken that fist and decked myself, too. I could feel the tears plotting a prison break, as I was sure he was going to break up with me right then and there. But I slammed the gate shut tight. No crying. Not now.
"Piper, what are you-"
"Please Jason, this is hard enough as it is. You know what I'm talking about." We exchanged a long, silent look. Jason sighed and looked out over the camp before talking again.
"So you've already decided the big question. Our camps are united in mind and spirit, but the body's a whole 'nother story." He turned to me with that perfect smile. "Now it makes sense. There's always something, right, Pipes?" He looked at the shirt in my arms. "So, I guess I can take that back, now?"
Something in Jason's voice made the tears threaten my eyes again. Hurt. Dozens of monsters, his friends fighting for their lives, the world almost ending, and it was the thought of me up and leaving that wounded him?
"No!" I sounded petty, even to myself. I drew away, holding the shirt out of reach. "You don't get to do that!" He looked half as confused as I felt, and I tried to get my thoughts in order before going. I buried my face in the shirt and took three deep breaths.
"Do what? Accept your decision?" There it was again. That same something. I didn't want to say what it was again, even to myself. Not anger, not frustration, no trace of being upset, just that something. "What do you want me to do, Piper? Annabeth told me about the two hours. Well, less than that now. I just..."
He looked hard at the grown, scowling. It would have been a million times easier if he'd blown up. Silently accepting something you really, really don't want? Forcing that on someone? "No!" I shouted, "No, you don't get to make the hard choice this time!"
He looked at me again, confusion rattling our deep in his blue eyes. "Okay, I'm really not understanding."
"This whole quest, what have I been doing?" I stared him straight in the eye. Shame burning at my cheeks.
He smiled confidently at me. "I dunno, you've been killing giants, charmspeaking god-eating trees, tricking zombie goddesses, and pulling my butt out of the fire left and right." Then he looked at the sky, like he was deep in thought for a second, "Out of the water is probably more appropriate, actually." He let an arm fall easily around my shoulders. "Piper, you were chosen as one of the seven for a reason. We could not have succeeded without all of us, and that includes you."
For a few seconds, all of those nauseatingly terrifying memories came back to me. Yeah, I had been brave. And yeah, I'd used my powers as best I could. But, still, I was a child of Aphrodite, and nothing could change that. "Jason, what do you think Percy and Annabeth, or Leo and Reyna are doing right now?"
This time he had an answer. "Talking. Just like us. Probably a lot more happily than we are. They're basking in a job well done. Like a certain someone should be." A hint of hopefulness, that I probably wouldn't have picked up on if it hadn't been connected to romantic feelings, crept back into his voice.
"Only half credit, Mr. Grace." I said. And then, something that couldn't have been timed better by Zeus or Jupiter or whatever himself, happened. A roar of cheers so loud we heard it from across camp arose from the barracks. A crowd of purple streamed onto the Via Praetoria, with two very distinct spots on top. Jason cheered as loud as he could from where we sat, and I smiled from the bottom of my heart at the scene. Percy had told me painstakingly how Frank and Hazel hadn't been the most respected duo at camp. "But look at them now."
"Yeah," Jason sighed. "They deserve it." He lowered himself back down next to me, beaming from ear to ear.
"Yeah, they really do." Before Jason could stop me, the words were rolling off my tongue, hot as lava. "Percy, he told us all about their quest. You remember what he said about Hazel right? How she'd woken up decades after everyone she'd known and loved was dead. Her mother, her first love, everyone. And then, if she let her emotions get out of control, she could kill people. Just like she had when she was alive the first time."
"Wait, Piper you-"
"Frank. Frank could have burned to a crisp when he was a baby. He lost his mom, and then immediately after trekked across two continents to live away from his only family. He had to work to earn the trust of the people belittling him since day one. And In the middle of his quest, he lost his only family, and he found that life was only a literal timebomb. In spite of that, he would have sacrificed himself to set things right again with Death."
"So would anyone of us-"
"Jason, please. Leo, he... he killed his own mother. He was young, and he was tricked, but I'm sure that doesn't matter in the slightest to him. Not when he's alone at night with his only his memories. And then he blamed himself for what we thought was Percy and Annabeth's death. He wouldn't let anyone take away his guilt. He said he'd brought it on himself."
He grasped my hand firmly. "Piper, you know that-"
"Annabeth. She's been at camp for her entire life, for what its worth. She faced her hero and made him see the truth about being a child of Athena. She undertook a quest from the mother that disowned her on her own and with no powers against a god with a sworn vendetta against her and her family."
I looked at him, daring him to stop me. This time, Jason just waited. "Percy jokes about it now, but he and his mom were abused for years during his childhood. He doesn't even own his own life anymore. For the past five years he's been risking life and limb for a world that'll never know his sacrifices and for gods who view him as something to be reviled and used."
"Piper." His blue eyes bore pleadingly into mine. "Don't."
"Then there's you." I hesitated and dropped my gaze. Jason and I were on the threshold of something permanent. Something scary. I couldn't stop-I wouldn't stop. I told my mom to butt out for once. Let me choose my own love. My own life. I was taking full responsibility for this one. Whatever happened would be what Jason chose. "You've been here your whole life, Jason." I met his eyes sadly. "A child of Jupiter. Always expected to lead. To do no wrong. To be powerful. To be right. The whole camp has been looking to you for leadership since you could walk and talk. The pressure of it all must have been insane. But you own that responsibility. You are the perfect Jupiter kid. You never get angry, never raise your voice. Never so much as a stern glare. But, you never had the opportunity to be anything else. This was your life from day one."
Suddenly, looking into Jason's eyes was like looking into the sun. I turned away, my eyes stinging. I realized whose turn it was. The weight wrapped around me like a straightjacket, skipping my body and constricting my heart. The words were weighty when I finally forced them out. "And finally, you have me. Poor little Piper Rich Girl McLean. 15 years with a superstar millionaire for a father and a five star chef at my beck and call. My pick of all the glamor of Hollywood. Who had to live a rough life of stealing cars most people couldn't even dream about without breaking the bank, filled to the brim with consequences like getting bailed out by daddy. Things got rough? Time to namedrop and step all over those lesser than me."
"Piper, have you been holding all of this inside you all this time?" Again, there was the tone of hurt. Pure altruism. "Why didn't you tell me? I could have helped. You know none of that-"
"You're right, Jason. I did talk to a tree, and stab a giant and all that other stuff. But Hazel died to stop Gaia, even for a little while. Frank would have burnt to a crisp if it meant saving others. Leo put his heart and soul nonstop into the Argo II so we could even go on the quest. Annabeth saved the world and her mother and the relationship between the two Camps almost on her own. You and Percy threw yourselves in front of opponents as strong as gods to make sure that no one else would have to." I looked at him. Now my eyes bore into his. "There's not a single thing that I've done that's helped the quest. Not like you guys have."
For the first time, Jason dropped his glance first. Once or twice, I'd thought about a moment like this. A child of Aphrodite with less than a month of training cracking the steel resolve of a child of Jupiter hardened from birth. It was the single most awful thing I've ever experienced. Suddenly, I wondered just how many times Jason had been in the situation, only with no one to listen to. A juvenile anger rose in me. Even when I was being hard on myself I was still being petty and childish. But no more.
"Piper," he began.
"Jason, I know now, I think."
He looked at me, that iron will to stick by me shining through even part of his face. "No, I understand." He said. I went to talk, but he wouldn't let me cut him off. "You're completely right. You know why you said you can't stay here, right? I put myself in your shoes." He looked away. "I could never even take credit for passing a test on my own if someone helped me. I would feel guilty, and yeah, like you said, that's the Jupiter's kid in me. Like my dad, I was going to succeed or fail on my own, or else it wasn't my success to claim."
"Jason, wait-"
"I couldn't live with myself if I felt that way about the quest. Taking credit for helping to save the world. Even if everyone thought I did. Even if the other members of the seven thought I did, I don't think I'd be able to face myself. Or own up to that. That's why I hated it so much when I was being so useless starting out."
"Jason, I'm trying to-"
"Piper, now its my turn. And I'm telling you, I understand. I'll never stop loving you, but I can't tell you to do something like stay if even I know I couldn't make that choice."
Suddenly, my lips were against his. They were warm, and it I could feel the outside world melting away. My thoughts became clearer. What had been a jumbled fog of emotions whipping around in the storm of my mind calmed. I pulled away, Jason's eyelids slowly revealed the rest of his beautiful blue eyes.
"Jason, shut up." I smiled.
"Yes, ma'am."
"That's why I'm making the choice. Its what I'm here to do. Why I'm really part of the seven. Percy is trying to convince Annabeth that they can live here as Greek demigods among Roman ones. Reyna wants desperately to believe that the Romans will accept her having a Greek boyfriend. But we can't stay connected. Not like that."
"Then how-"
"I'm the child of Aphrodite. Matters of love," I scoffed, "Whether I like it or not, are my expertise. No one but me can make a decision on this and have it stick. But, there is a solution. Like you said Jason, our hearts and minds are united, but our bodies are still separate."
Just then, I saw Nico and Coach Hedge running up to us, already cresting the bridge of the Via Praetoria, the former trailing behind a very upset looking latter. "I guess its been an hour."
"So, what now?"
"Once I make my decision, Annabeth and Reyna will see the logic to it, even if Percy and Leo don't, immediately." I smirked at him.
"So what's you decision?"
I got up, still grinning from ear to ear. Jason was on his feet in a second right beside me, wearing a "Well?" look on his face. "Remember when we first met Boreas? What happened that pretty much summed up Greek and Roman identity?"
Jason paled. "He body flicked forms. And gods would tell us all the time to only think of it one way, it was like their minds were splitting into two."
I gave him as long a kiss as I could manage before Coach Hedge got too close and threatened to throw us in detention. "Then you've already figured it out."
I left him standing there, rushing off to join the young Greek demigod and very, very Greek satyr. This was a way more satisfying way of leaving a certain steel-willed son of Jupiter speechless. I threw one more glance over my shoulder, and him smiling with sly understanding at me.
I hadn't kissed him goodbye.
