THE DEATH OF THE HOBBITS

Okay, each chapter tells of a fellowship member's FAKE death! FAKE FAKE FAKE. This is all from the depths of my twisted imagination, not Tolkien's. More chapters will come as I get more stupid ideas. Please note, these deaths are not in chronological order and members of the fellowship are alive when they aren't supposed to be. Like they died, and then a few weeks later were interviewed about someone else's death. I'm weird like that. Eheh...read on...

This ficcie is a partner in crime with Teal Huskie's fic located at http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=563869.



DIRE ... er ... SHIRE TIMES reports:


ENTMOOT GETS UGLY: HOBBIT KILLED

Yesterday a sad event took place in the forest of Fangorn - supposedly there was an outburst at an Entmoot and a hobbit suffered from it. Meriadoc Brandybuck saw the true workings of Ent's draught when a few Ents lashed out, mainly one named Quickbeam, and killed the poor hobbit.

Reported from Peregrin Took, Brandybuck's companion, the Ents had a large bowl of draught and then began their moot. The hobbits sat off to the side for the beginning eating Cheez-its and playing Yatzhee. However, when the Ent previously described as Quickbeam was leaving the moot (for he was reported to be a "hasty" Ent from other witnesses), a large band of overgrown wallabies began to attack him. Many of the drunk Ents began to attack themselves, thinking they too were insane wallabies. Poor, poor Brandybuck was smushed by the Ent Quickbeam, and that was the end of it.

"Just another example of why we have to keep the wallaby population under control!" said Farmer Maggot, the angry farmer of the Shire. "Serves that hobbit right! *mutter mutter, something about stealing mushrooms, more muttering*"

Peregrin Took, noted as a witness, said he was deeply saddened by his friend's passing. "I had almost beaten him at this round [of Yatzhee]! But oh well...we were almost at the end of the Cheez-its and I really didn't feel like running out. I guess it was all for the best!"

Brandybuck was buried with the wallaby carcasses in a deep delving carved out by enslaved ruffians.

SURGEON HOBBIT'S NOTE: And remember kids, no under-age (or, in this case, over-age) drinking and don't drink and moot!